I really appreciate the homework after reading, which is why I slowly learn to identify books and learn to improve my reading skills faster and better. Another very funny but real reason is that you always use your head and hands to read and write something to prevent Alzheimer's disease.
There are three reasons for finding this book, because it is almost plain and easy to understand; Because it is short, like a pocket book; Because this is the work of a 90-year-old psychologist, and it is from the heart.
The author Yoko Nakamura is the oldest psychologist in Japan and has been practicing medicine for 70 years. With rich life experience and consulting experience, he is a psychologist who is deeply trusted by patients and willing to talk to them. She never retired to be a psychologist. Her lifestyle can be summed up in one sentence, leading a normal life. She communicates with readers from the standpoint of an ordinary person, which makes people feel particularly grounded.
The theme of this book is around the important topics of life such as work, love, interpersonal relationship, happiness, death, etc. With the author's 90 years of life wisdom and personal experience, I will share with you the ultimate problem of how to spend my life without living up to life. The words in this book are concise, and each chapter has its own system. I will share the essence of this book with you by abbreviation and refinement according to the structure of the six chapters of this book.
Most people in this world have to work. How to understand the meaning and essence of work? From the perspective of his 70 years of work experience, the author shares with you how to treat work with a normal heart.
Many people often worry about a question, what is the purpose of work? Some people say that work is to do what they want to do, while others say it is to realize their dreams. These answers are all correct, but in essence, people work for life. This truth has never changed. It is natural to work for money. That's how life works.
For work, there is no need to expect too much from it, and there is no need to take it seriously, so that you can enjoy it. Before thinking "this job is not suitable for me", try to do it first, don't think too much, or you will stop. Don't base your self-worth entirely on your work, don't be bound by things like power, status and reputation, and don't care about other people's eyes. When you live to 70 to 80 years old, success and failure are meaningless.
I have never said that I like my job, and I don't particularly hate it, let alone like it. I just feel that I have to work and have no time to think about it. Of course, it would be great if you can meet your ideal job, but this situation is just like buying lottery tickets, which is hard to meet. When you get old, work is a natural habit, just like cooking and sweeping the floor.
Of course, whether to stay or not is up to you, and no one else can interfere. This is not someone else's life, but your own life is up to you. If you have been making great sacrifices at work, which affects your physical and mental health, then you must leave decisively without hesitation. The most important thing is to make your own choices and then take responsibility for the results of your own decisions.
There are many books on happiness and articles on chicken soup for the soul. The author's words are simple and thorough, reaching directly to people's hearts. After reading it, they became enlightened.
Some people are particularly concerned about whether they are happy or not. After all, happiness is too important to us. However, it is completely impossible to just want to be happy. Many people's standards of happiness are often determined by comparing with others, such as income level, house size, children's grades and so on. This is meaningless. Once you are bound by other people's values, you won't realize that you are caught in a strange circle of desire.
Don't try to get happiness by changing others, but think about what you can do to get happiness. Stay away from people you hate and spend more time with people who make you happy.
The essence of life is to live alone. Everyone has his own thoughts and will, and it is impossible to live towards the same goal forever, including his partner and children. Be happy when you come, and put it down when you go, which is the easiest for both of us.
Always thinking about gains and losses, then you will feel compelled and even have a knot. Instead, it is better to act spontaneously and listen to your inner decision.
At first, I felt a bit like chicken soup for the soul. After reading the third chapter, I understand why this book is so popular. The author is an experienced psychologist and has met countless patients who are troubled by life and emotions. She knows best how to help patients out of trouble in the simplest and most effective way.
All the words in the article are the author's real feelings from her 90-year life experience. There is no truth or preaching, but a simple, simple and sincere expression, which comes from her personal case and is very touching and inspiring.
The writer is a psychologist. She said, in fact, she doesn't have any special treatment or counseling skills. All she can do is listen to everyone's stories. Through humorous chatting, they can get rid of their troubles and get spiritual comfort. I am also a psychological counselor, and I understand her feelings very well. If there is a kind of interpersonal relationship that allows you to expose your weaknesses with peace of mind, then you will be full of energy.
About making friends, you should choose according to your own preferences, and it is not advisable to weigh the gains and losses to communicate. When you want to "live with your heart", you will find that you will not be bothered by external superfluous things. The so-called superfluous things are, for example, wanting to be great, wanting to be recognized by everyone, wanting to have more money …, that is, wanting to be more.
The author said that as a doctor, she never made a difference, but she thought it was good enough. It is precisely because there is no superfluous desire that we can really make friends with people who are comfortable with each other. Whether to associate with that person or stay away from it, don't rush to find the answer, just adjust your psychological sense of distance.
If you feel uncomfortable or hurt and realize that "this person is like this", change your distance from him. 100 interpersonal relationship is impossible, as long as you can tell the truth to people you trust and pour out your heart.
Even if a person designs his own way of life, he will not follow it. Therefore, there is no need to plan his life in detail. I quite agree with this sentence. Life is that no matter how you plan, there will still be different problems at different times, either consistent or deviated. Therefore, there is no need to plan everything. The most important thing is to be honest with your heart.
Why does it make people feel uneasy? In most cases, this anxiety is due to thinking too much about the future. Anyway, don't ignore what is in front of you. In fact, when you try to do the right thing, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that your worries have vanished.
Man is a powerful creature. Sometimes it seems that everything is at zero, but it may actually be a new starting point. Pain will become an important experience in the future.
Try not to think about work after work hours. Most people's troubles tend to think of something as simple as 1 as 10 or 20. You may think the problem is too complicated, but it's no big deal to the people around you.
Pain and sadness are actually innate things. When people are alive, they will certainly experience suffering. The energetic time in life is very limited, so don't stay in the shadow of the past too much.
The moment when you must work hard will surely come. Therefore, if this is not the case, there is no need to work too hard.
In work, it is better to stick to it clumsily than to pursue perfection and be frustrated constantly. Don't expect too much, there is no such thing as perfection. A seemingly perfect person or thing may be surprised when you get to know it in depth. And the list goes on.
Whether it is a child or a family, don't try to pursue perfection, keep a flowing attitude, and the result will be better.
After all, to cultivate children, people are actually cultivating themselves. The process of parenting is the process of getting better and better.
About death, the author wrote really well, which is of great reference significance for me with death anxiety.
If a person dies alone, people around him may feel pity and sad, but I don't think so. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if you die alone. Meet death alone, without causing trouble to anyone. It's nice to leave quietly alone.
It is a waste of energy to worry about dying alone when you are healthy. After death, whether you are praised or commented, it has nothing to do with the deceased, because you can't hear what they are saying.
From leaving home alone to now, Mr. Yoko has overcome too many difficulties and tests and stepped out firmly and calmly. Her life is full of twists and turns, she said, in short, as long as she lives, there will always be a way in life. If you can eat well, sleep well and have a job to maintain a minimum living, you will be fine.
What do people really need? Teacher Hengzi said that in the process of pursuing, we must distinguish ourselves from others, who are practicing other people's lives. We don't need to follow in other people's footsteps.
The secret of interpersonal relationship lies in the sense of distance, an insurmountable boundary that must be maintained.
Loneliness does not mean loneliness. Accept the beauty of loneliness and life is full of fun everywhere. Teacher Hengzi said that a person's life is basically living alone, and loneliness is a natural state. If you pander to others or compromise to others because you are afraid of loneliness, you will make yourself miserable.
Teacher Yoko's position that "loneliness is a good thing" has brought freedom and joy to people around him. I quite agree with this sentence. I also enjoy the fun of loneliness now. I am free, comfortable and relaxed. I don't need to show it to anyone. I amuse myself, accompany myself and talk to myself. This loneliness is clean and pure, and it is really beautiful.
This book is short and pithy, which embodies the wisdom of teacher Hengzi all his life. It is in line with my current state of mind and makes me feel more peaceful and firm.
I think, how can a person live his life well? Everyone has his own life track. Everyone has different ideas. Some people want to earn more money, others want to realize their dreams. Please realize that this is your own life and there is no need to compare with others. Only in this way can you live a good life.
Don't be too hard on your life, accept every day calmly, life never fails, and everything in the world is worth it.
Give it to yourself and share it with everyone.