Interpersonal relationship is the main factor affecting the healthy development of individual personality. The so-called interpersonal relationship is "the relationship between group members established through various communication methods on the basis of * * * activities." It is a psychological relationship regulated by individual personality characteristics, accompanied by satisfaction and dissatisfaction. "
The quality of interpersonal relationship is a comprehensive reflection of a person's social adaptability and healthy personality. A healthy personality is always accompanied by a healthy interpersonal relationship. Psychologists Maslow, allport and Rogers all regard the establishment of appropriate and good interpersonal relationships as the ability that a person with healthy personality should possess. The new psychoanalytic theory also believes that mental illness is mainly due to the imbalance of interpersonal relationships. Therefore, harmonious interpersonal relationship is not only a reflection of personality level, but also affects and restricts the formation and development of healthy personality. People with healthy personality can actively communicate with others and establish good and constructive interpersonal relationships; People with personality disorders and defects often lack stable and good interpersonal relationships.
After entering middle school, middle school students are faced with a new environment and new groups, and interpersonal communication is becoming more and more frequent and complicated. To integrate all kinds of relationships, it has become their new life content to deal with the relationships with people they associate with. However, because they come from different regions and different families, they live with their classmates day and night with their own way of life, thinking and behavior, which leads to frequent interpersonal conflicts and becomes the main factor of psychological problems. Through psychological consultation and written investigation, Li discussed the causes of mental illness of middle school students, and found that interpersonal problems of middle school students are in a very prominent position among the disturbing factors, which is the first major problem in middle school students' campus life. The research of Zhao and Chen Youzhen also proves that interpersonal problems are in the forefront of all kinds of psychological problems consulted by middle school students. The interpersonal relationship of middle school students was investigated among more than 1200 students in12 middle schools. The survey shows that interpersonal relationship is one of the most distressing and intractable problems faced by middle school students, which is mainly manifested in interpersonal barriers, jealousy, inferiority and social fear. In the practice of mental health education, we also find that most students' psychological problems are related to the lack of normal interpersonal communication and good interpersonal relationships. Those middle school students who live in friendly, cooperative and harmonious interpersonal relationships show the characteristics of depression, sensitivity, self-defense and difficulty in cooperation. Harmonious interpersonal relationship is not only an indispensable condition for middle school students' personality health, but also the main way for middle school students to obtain mental health.
First, the concrete manifestation of the influence of interpersonal relationship on the healthy development of middle school students' personality
1. Affect the personality traits of middle school students
Different interpersonal relationships will make middle school students form different personality traits. Generally speaking, middle school students with good interpersonal relationships can adapt to middle school life quickly, and they are cheerful and confident. When getting along with others, treat people sincerely, fairly, modestly and tolerantly, maintain a cheerful personality and a positive attitude towards life, and have good personality traits such as kindness, helpfulness, compassion, social responsibility and sense of justice. Middle school students with poor interpersonal relationships show some bad personality traits, such as being suspicious, sensitive, narrow-minded, short-sighted, self-centered and arrogant. Give yourself great psychological and mental pressure, and even lead to morbid psychology.
2. Affect the correct self-evaluation of middle school students.
Interpersonal relationship affects middle school students' self-evaluation. Self-evaluation reflects the development level of individual self-awareness and is the psychological basis of sound personality. Correct self-evaluation is gradually developed and matured through mutual learning, mutual help and mutual influence in the process of communicating with others. Middle school students' correct evaluation of themselves is developed in their communication with classmates and in dealing with various interpersonal relationships, and they can adjust and correct themselves. College students with good interpersonal relationships can properly evaluate themselves, always feel that they are liked, accepted and recognized by others, meet their psychological needs of belonging and security, have a good sense of self-esteem, believe in their own values, accept themselves and promote the healthy development of their personality. Middle school students who lack good interpersonal relationships either show inferiority and abandon themselves, don't believe in their own abilities, deny their own values, only see their own shortcomings, feel inferior everywhere, suppress their energy release, self-conflict, self-contradiction, and even have an inferiority complex that hates themselves; Or show aloof, pretentious, condescending, arrogant, unable to handle interpersonal relationships, which has a negative impact on the healthy development of personality.
3. Affect the emotional health of middle school students
Meng, a famous psychologist in China, said: "Emotion plays a central role in psychopathy. Emotional abnormality is often a harbinger of mental illness. " Good emotions and feelings between people are not only the glue of social communication and the lubricating oil of interpersonal communication, but also an important factor affecting the healthy development of personality. Middle school students are rich in emotions and have a strong need for emotional communication, hoping to tell others their joys and sorrows, so different interpersonal relationships lead to different psychological feelings and experiences. Middle school students with good interpersonal relationships have high emotional satisfaction, a peaceful, quiet and happy mood, a sense of intimacy and attachment to others and the collective, calm when things go wrong, moderate emotional expression, good at controlling and venting bad emotions, and strong emotional control ability, which can promote the healthy development of personality. Middle school students with poor interpersonal relationships can't express and control their emotions correctly, and are prone to anxiety, tension, fear, anger and other negative emotions, hostility and dissatisfaction with others and the collective, and are often in the experience of various negative emotions.
4. Affect the learning adaptation of middle school students
Interpersonal relationship affects the learning adaptation of middle school students after entering school. According to Feng Tingyong's research, the main factors affecting middle school students' learning adaptation are learning ability, environmental factors, teaching mode and social activities. Among them, in the study of middle school students, the role of social factors in middle school students' learning adaptation has increased significantly.