Please read Battle of Red Cliffs in Zi Tong Zhi Jian written by Sima Guang, a famous writer in ancient China. As we all know, Battle of Red Cliffs took place in 208 AD, when Sun Quan, the ruler of the State of Wu, confronted Cao Cao, the enemy north of the Yangtze River, winning and losing numerous battles. It can be said that only Zhou Yu and Lu Su, the viceroy, put themselves in Sun Quan's shoes to consider national security, and they also have this ability. Above the imperial court, Sun Quan listened to Zhou Yu's analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of the enemy and the enemy, saying that "as a prelude to drawing the sword, the general must have a word to meet Cao Cao, and this case is the same", which laid the determination and confidence to unite Liu against Cao Cao. At that time, Sun Quan was overjoyed and immediately praised Zhou Yu and said, "Your words should be a blow, even integrated with loneliness. On this day, you will grant loneliness. " That night, Zhou Yu saw Sun Quan again, further analyzed the strength of the enemy and ourselves, and put forward how to defend the enemy as the best policy. Sun Quan also praised Zhou Yu and said, "Gong Jin, it's lonely for you to say that. Du Qing and Amethyst share a common loneliness. On this day, Qinghe praised loneliness. " One said to support orphans, and the other said to praise orphans. Imagine who doesn't feel warm after listening to it! It can be completely judged that it is precisely because Sun Quan praised the artistic charm of others in a timely, appropriate and sincere manner that Zhou and Lu's military talents were brought into full play, and a good situation of "the unity of monarch and minister and the rule of Cao Cao" appeared in the whole State of Wu.
Zhou Yu sent 50 thousand chosen men to battle. Sun Quan said, "We have all kinds of ships, grain and war gear. If you can do it, you are sincerely determined. If you are disappointed, you will be temporarily lonely, which is decided by Meng De alone. " Here, Sun Quan gave Zhou Yu enough room to decide that if he can't win the battle, it's not your fault, but between Sun Quan himself and Cao Mengde, and more clearly expressed Sun Quan's determination: "Solitude and Meng De fight to the death." This forced Cao Cao to say to his sons with deep feelings: "Children should be like Sun Zhongmou."
If Chiang Kai-shek in the last century commanded the war in an all-round way in Battle of Red Cliffs, he would have to proudly announce: "I ordered all the ministries of the Central Army to win only and not lose; If you don't succeed, you will die. "When crossing the river, Jiang inspected the Yangtze River defense and found that the soldiers were playing cards and gambling. He said: "I can't fight, you can't play cards, and the future war depends on you!" "If these people are killed in the future.
The purpose of giving these examples is not to say that we should stop criticizing. In fact, criticism is also a necessary working method, which plays a warning and reminding role. Didn't the "criticism and self-criticism" advocated by our party play a very important role in the history of the party? The key to the problem is not to let criticism and reprimand become commonplace. According to Sun Tzu's Art of War, it is found that enemy generals often admonish soldiers, indicating that enemy generals have no other way to command soldiers. Sociology also said that among the many stimuli to human behavior, language has the greatest stimulus to human behavior. This is often not the case in real work and life! No wonder some people say: a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June. Indeed, a kind word can easily open the window of people's hearts, make people full of vitality and benefit for life; A hurtful word is more likely to make people feel uneasy, depressed and lose the motivation to move forward.
Obviously, if you are good at praising others, others will benefit and you will benefit. Why not?
/kloc-one day in 0/852, the famous writer Turgenev came across a crumpled Modern Man magazine in the pine forest while hunting. He turned over a few pages and was deeply attracted by a novel called Childhood. The author is a rookie, but Turgenev appreciates it very much. He inquired about the author everywhere and learned that the author lost his mother at the age of two and his father at the age of seven, and was brought up by his aunt. Turgenev gave great sympathy and concern. He told the author's aunt his feelings about reading Childhood, and praised the author on many occasions, such as giving lectures and meeting guests, so the novel Childhood attracted everyone's attention and caused a sensation.
My aunt soon wrote to tell my nephew, "Your novel Childhood caused a great sensation in Valeryan, and the famous writer Turgenev praised you to everyone. He also said that the young man insists on writing, and the future is limitless! " . After receiving menstruation's letter, the author was ecstatic. He wrote graffiti because of the depression of life, but he didn't have the delusion of being a writer himself. Thanks to the appreciation and praise of the famous writer Turgenev, he suddenly ignited the flame of hope and struggle in his heart, established his self-confidence and ideal, and devoted himself to his creation with great enthusiasm. In the end, he became a world-famous writer, thinker and artist. He is war and peace and Anna. Leo, the author of Karenina and Resurrection. Tolstoy.
There are countless examples of changing the life track of others because of a compliment. Yes, it's not easy to be praised by others. You must have something to be praised for. It is not easy to praise others, you must have an eye and tolerance. Because of this, Yang Jingzhi, a poet in the Tang Dynasty, highly praised Xiang Si's character: it is always good to read poems several times, and the standard is too poetic. I have never understood the goodness of Tibetans in my life, and I have been telling people things everywhere. There is a heart that does not hide people's kindness, and it will go down in history and spread through the ages.
Sadly, there seem to be fewer and fewer people who know how to praise others now, but narcissists and boasters abound. Self-hype has become a kind of "fashion", and even many people regard their bad behavior as "tenor". Isn't Fan Paopao a good example? It is also common for some people to turn a blind eye to the advantages of others, and even treat other people's good character as fools and treat good deeds as jokes. What's going on here? Aren't we an ancient civilization and a country of etiquette? Have the elegant words and deeds that we used to be proud of, our respect for others' good morals, and our traditional conduct of being kind to others been diluted by the tide of market economy? Praising others sincerely should be a basic virtue of society at all times and is needed by society at all times. It is also the need of building a harmonious society.
Praising others can purify our hearts through appreciation and praise. Praising others can fill our hearts with love, thus establishing healthy and harmonious interpersonal relationships. If we often praise others, we will find there are too many beautiful things around us. Our life is full of sunshine, and we will sincerely appreciate life. In this fast-paced modern society, in this flawless living environment, learn to praise others, people will be more understanding and less vigilant; More warmth, less indifference; More harmony and less estrangement.
Of course, praising others is not cheap flattery or unprincipled hello, I am good, everyone is good, it is not a good spiritual massage, and it is not a malicious spiritual bribe. Praising others is heartfelt appreciation and touching, friendly, encouraging and tolerant. It contains respect, understanding and support.
To praise others, we must overcome that narrow mentality and dark heart. How can a person who is always thinking about his own gains and losses, who is always vigilant and alert to others, appreciate others? Let alone sincerely praise others.
Hugo, a great writer, once said: "The ocean is the widest in the world, the sky is wider than the ocean, and the human mind is wider than the sky." We should embrace all rivers, let eagles soar like the sky, let peaks gather like mountains, abandon arrogance, conceit and complacency, and give sincere praise to the wisdom, morality and conduct of others without stint.