We know that Ma Jiajue, the chief culprit of the "2.23 murder case" in Yunnan University, which sensationalized the whole country, embarked on the road of murder because of some minor contradictions with his classmates. This matter has to cause us to think. Therefore, in our life, study and work, we should face up to and solve the problems of being unwilling to communicate, not knowing how to communicate and not being good at communicating, shape our own image, treat interpersonal communication with a positive attitude and behavior, and establish harmonious interpersonal relationships.
We hope to get to know some communication knowledge by understanding the characteristics and principles of interpersonal communication. Combining these characteristics and principles, we can find suitable ways to cultivate our interpersonal skills and promote our own interpersonal relationships.
The meaning of interpersonal communication ability: social communication ability refers to the ability to properly handle the internal and external relations of the organization, including the ability to establish extensive contacts with the surrounding environment, absorb and transform external information, and correctly handle the upper, lower, left and right relations.
Types of interpersonal skills:
(1) The ability to express understanding refers to whether a person can express his inner thoughts and let others clearly understand his thoughts, and to understand others' expressions. A person's expressive ability can also directly prove his degree of social adaptation.
(2) Interpersonal integration ability indicates whether a person can experience credibility and loveliness. It has a lot to do with personality (such as extroversion and extroversion), but it is not entirely determined by it, but more of a psychological meaning.
(3) the ability to solve problems. At present, one of the weaknesses of the only child is strong dependence, poor ability to solve problems independently, and the disadvantages of exam-oriented education, which seriously affects students' communicative competence.
Interpersonal communication ability is the ability to live in harmony with others in a group. People are social people. It is hard to imagine what a person's life would be like without society and communication with others. If someone exists, he must associate with others. When we go out into the society, we will deal with all kinds of people. Whether you can get others' support and help in dealing with people will involve your own ability. I think we should cultivate our ability to deal with classmates, teachers, leaders and employees during our study in school. When talking with classmates, you can debate on different academic viewpoints and different understandings of social phenomena, so as to improve your thinking ability in the debate; Talking with teachers can exchange reading experience, sort out different ideas and understandings, and get inspiration from them; Talking with leaders can fully exchange their different views on the problem, and perhaps exercise themselves not to get stage fright in front of leaders; When dealing with employees, we can understand their working status and different mentality. Be good at communicating with people, and you will learn a lot from it that books can't.
First, interpersonal communication is an important way to maintain college students' physical and mental health.
(1) Interpersonal relationships affect the physical and mental state of college students.
Young college students are active in thinking and rich in feelings, and have a strong demand for interpersonal communication. Everyone is eager for sincere friendship, and everyone tries to gain friendship through interpersonal communication to meet their material and spiritual needs. However, in the face of new environment, new objects and tense study life, some students' psychological contradictions have intensified. At this time, positive interpersonal communication and good interpersonal relationship can make people feel happy, full of emotions, full of confidence and maintain an optimistic attitude towards life. Generally speaking, most students with good interpersonal relationships can maintain cheerful personality and warm and optimistic quality, so as to correctly understand and treat various practical problems, resolve various contradictions in their study and life, form positive and excellent quality, and quickly adapt to college life. On the contrary, if you lack positive interpersonal communication, can't treat yourself and others correctly, and are narrow-minded and short-sighted, it is easy to form great mental and psychological pressure, and psychological contradictions are difficult to resolve. Seriously, it may also lead to morbid psychology. If you don't dredge it in time, it may form a vicious circle and seriously affect your physical and mental health.
(2) Interpersonal communication affects college students' mood and emotional changes.
College students in the youth development period are in the golden age of life, and gradually mature in psychology, physiology and socialization. However, in this process, once negative factors are encountered, it will easily lead to negative emotions such as anxiety, tension, fear and anger, which will affect study and life. Practice has proved that friendly, harmonious and coordinated interpersonal communication is beneficial for college students to control and vent their bad emotions and emotions.
(3) Interpersonal communication affects the spiritual life of college students.
College students are filled with emotion. After intense study, they need to communicate with each other, discuss their ideals and lives, and tell their joys and sorrows. Interpersonal communication is the best way to realize this desire. Through interpersonal communication, we can meet the needs of college students for friendship, belonging and security, realize their value in the collective more deeply and vividly, and produce a sense of intimacy and attachment to the collective and others, so as to obtain a full and happy spiritual life and promote physical and mental health.
Second, interpersonal communication is an important guarantee for the growth of college students.
(1) Interpersonal communication is an important way to exchange information and acquire knowledge.
Modern society is an information society with unprecedented information and value. With the expansion of information, people have higher and higher requirements for owning and using all kinds of information. Through interpersonal communication, we can exchange information and achievements, enrich our experience, broaden our horizons, activate our thinking and enlighten our thoughts.
(2) International communication is an important means for individuals to know and improve themselves.
Confucius once said, "If you study alone without friends, you will be ignorant.". Interpersonal communication can help us improve our understanding of ourselves and others. In the process of interpersonal communication, we know each other from their manners. At the same time, I learned about myself from each other's reaction and evaluation. The wider and deeper the communication, the more complete the understanding of the other party and the deeper the understanding of yourself. Only by fully understanding others and deeply understanding yourself can we get others' understanding, sympathy, care and help and achieve self-improvement.
(3) Interpersonal communication is the need of collective growth and social development.
Interpersonal communication is a link to coordinate collective relations and form collective strength. And a good group can promote the formation of excellent personality quality of young students. Such as sense of justice, compassion and optimism. They all grew up in democratic, harmonious and friendly interpersonal relationships. Good interpersonal relationships can also enhance students' cohesion and become the most important educational force in the collective. Interpersonal communication is the interaction between people. Good interpersonal skills are positive, on the contrary, it is not conducive to the all-round and healthy development of individuals.
Third, college students' social skills are generally weak.
At the recent campus job fair held in colleges and universities, some business leaders said that employees' communication and communication skills have increasingly become the main driving force for enterprises to win in the market competition, so employers pay more attention to the "emotional intelligence" of job seekers when recruiting. Facing the recruitment conditions offered by employers, more and more college students feel the importance of interpersonal skills.
A recent survey on college students' occupational adaptability shows that 4 1.98% students think that the cultivation of interpersonal skills is "an educational content that is particularly helpful to them when looking for a job", which greatly exceeds the cultivation of professional ability (14.9%), basic knowledge and skills (17.5%) and psychological quality education (650) In response to "What qualities do you think you lack in choosing a job?" The proportion of choosing interpersonal skills is as high as 34.8%, ranking ahead of the ability to analyze and solve problems (28.8%), operational skills (25.9%) and basic knowledge (4.6%).
The survey on self-responsibility shows that more and more college students realize that the lack of interpersonal skills has become a "roadblock" on the road to job hunting. Good social psychological quality and interpersonal skills are not innate, but can only be obtained through continuous systematic training in the process of socialization. At present, the cultivation of interpersonal communication ability is just the weak link in education and teaching content.
Over the years, under the baton of the college entrance examination, students have paid too much attention to the pursuit of grades and neglected the cultivation of interpersonal skills and other qualities. After entering colleges and universities, there are few specialized systematic courses in schools. So many college students have high IQ, but low EQ, and often can't handle how to get along with others, communicate and communicate well. These are the abilities and qualities that enterprises value most when recruiting. Therefore, it is urgent to make up this course for college students.
The interpersonal skills of college students in China are below average. At the same time, it can be seen that ordinary people are more restrained and slow to adapt in the new environment. They are nervous in front of the opposite sex and non-peers, not bold enough, do not take the initiative to communicate, and even a few students are autistic. The lack of interpersonal skills and methods is one of the reasons that affect college students' interpersonal communication. Many college students lack communication experience, especially successful experience. They want to care about people, but they don't know where to start. They want to praise people, but they can't speak or express their feelings. They have a strong desire to make friends, but they always feel that there is no chance. In communication, they want to express but can't. They want to express tenderness in their hearts, but their words are blunt. These situations hinder their smooth communication with others. But most people know the importance of social skills and want to improve them.
What do you think of your communication skills? Composition 1. General steps
(1) lists the communication situation and communication objects.
This step is simple. Close your eyes and think about the situations where you interact with people, such as school, family, work unit, parties and all kinds of situations where you interact with people every day. Think about who you need to communicate with, such as friends, parents, classmates, spouses, relatives, leaders, neighbors, strangers and so on. The purpose of making a list is to make yourself clear about the scope and object of your communication, so as to improve your communication ability in an all-round way.
(2) Evaluate your communication.
At this step, ask yourself the following questions:
Under what circumstances are you willing to communicate?
Under what circumstances do you feel psychological pressure on communication?
Who would you like to keep in touch with most?
Who do you like to communicate with the least?
Do you always keep happy communication with most people?
Do you often feel that your meaning is not clear?
Do you often misunderstand others and realize that you are wrong afterwards?
Do you keep in touch with your friends often?
Are you often too lazy to write or call people?
……
Answering the above questions objectively and seriously will help you to know who your communication with is the best and who your communication with needs to be improved.
(3) Evaluate your communication style.
In this step, I mainly ask myself the following three questions:
Usually, do you communicate with others actively or passively?
Do you pay attention when communicating with others?
Is the information sufficient when expressing intentions?
The communicative situations of active communicators and passive communicators are often obviously different. Research shows that active communicators are more likely to establish and maintain extensive interpersonal relationships with others, and are more likely to succeed in interpersonal communication.
Maintaining a high degree of attention in communication helps to understand the psychological state of the other party and can better adjust their communication process according to feedback. No one likes talking to people who are always looking around and absent-minded.
When expressing your intentions, you must pay attention to making yourself fully understood. If the information such as words and actions in communication is not sufficient, it will be impossible to express clearly; If there is too much information and redundancy, it will also cause discomfort to the information recipients. The most common example is that you accidentally stepped on someone else's foot, so? Quot "I'm sorry" is enough to express your apologies. If you continue to say, "I really didn't mean to, and someone squeezed me, I somehow lost my footing ..." This kind of verbosity is disgusting. Therefore, complete information without redundancy is the best way to communicate.
(4) formulate and implement communication plan
Through the first few steps, you will certainly find out where you have shortcomings, so as to determine where to focus on improvement. For example, if the scope of communication is narrow, it is necessary to expand the scope of communication; Ignore contact with friends and need to write and call; If communication initiative is not enough, you need to take the initiative to communicate with others and so on. Make these into a step-by-step communication plan, and then put your own plan into action, which is reflected in the specific little things in life. For example, if you feel that your communication range is narrow and your initiative is not enough, you can stipulate to greet two strangers every week, such as asking for directions and chatting. Don't be shy, no one will make fun of your initiative, on the contrary, the other party may appreciate your courage!
When making and implementing the plan, we should pay attention to the principle of gradual progress, that is, we should not set too high demands on ourselves, lest we fail to achieve our goals and dampen our enthusiasm. After the small requirements are realized and consolidated, they will put forward higher requirements for themselves.
(5) to supervise the plan
This step is crucial. Once the supervision is weak, it may fall short. It is best to supervise yourself, such as recording your own development with diaries and charts, and evaluating and analyzing your feelings.
When you finish a plan, such as greeting the opposite sex, you can reward yourself with a good meal or watch a movie to relax. This will help to consolidate the phased results. If you don't finish the plan, you should take some punishment measures, such as doing push-ups, or doing some manual labor that you are too lazy to do.
In short, the implementation of the plan needs confidence, and we must firmly believe that we can succeed. Remember: what a person can do is much more than what he has done and believes he can do.
How to improve your language communication ability and writing ability (not just writing)? I am as rich in language as a magazine reporter! Hello, through your question, I take the liberty to guess that you should be a very young friend. I had the same problem as you.
First of all, there is a saying in writing. Reading is like writing. The problem of your writing ability is caused by the long-term exam-oriented education in China. There are many problems, and I think the most serious one is the serious lack of reading. Some extracurricular books are even more useful than our textbooks. In view of your youth, I think the books of Mr. Wang Xiaobo and Mr. Wang Shuo should arouse your great interest. Keep your daily reading at 50,000-65,438+10,000 words, and you will be eager to write and be good at writing.
On the question of communicative competence, I think Carnegie's book is very classic, especially the weakness of human nature. Reading the classics first is the only rule. Of course, the most important thing is to cultivate a generous heart. I believe that when everything you do is not offensive and annoying, you will show your value and establish your prestige.
I have a little research on interpersonal relationships. If there are other questions, I can discuss them with you.
Has the ability of exercise and oral communication been improved? Composition teaching should be based on the order from speaking to writing, from easy to difficult, from simple to complex, and gradually improve the requirements. It can be seen that writing is the key to effectively improve students' writing level, and it is the premise of writing. "Being able to talk" here is not a simple statement, but refers to the strength of students' oral communication ability. In this regard, teachers should pay attention to cultivating students' oral communication ability and guide students to "write with my hand" in order to achieve the unity of speaking and writing and effectively improve students' writing level.
Keywords: oral communication, training strategy, writing level.
Communication ability = oral expression ability+choice of expression mode.
Oral expression ability = daily reading accumulation+own thinking mode.
Writing ability = learning+creativity
Speaking of? The three are progressive, but there is no causal connection.
Please indicate the source for reprinting. Good communication skills, argumentative writing, task-driven composition.