First of all, about family relations.
At the age of 20, there was no clear concept of affection. I thought it was natural for parents to work day and night, and it was natural for brothers and sisters to help each other. I thought I loved my parents as long as I didn't worry about them. As for the quality of my parents' food and the warmth and coldness of their clothes, it seems that it has nothing to do with me, and I have never mentioned this problem in my mind.
At the age of 30, brothers and sisters go their separate ways, and occasionally asking for something is also a sign of affection. At that time, I felt that I loved my parents as long as I didn't lose face in front of them. As for what my parents need, I didn't think about it, and I didn't dare to think about it, because it was useless to think about it, so I deliberately ignored the existence of this problem and took it for granted that my parents were doing well, so that I could bear my helplessness with peace of mind.
At the age of 40, I think it is my blessing to be filial to my parents. Today, I understand that love for parents is to make parents happy and make them happy in the way they like. I think this is part of my happiness. Affection is an infinitely tender word in my eyes. I no longer take the love of my brothers, sisters and parents for granted, and my heart is full of gratitude. I regard helping my relatives and friends as a part of my life. When I get along with my relatives and friends, I lose a lot of vanity and pride, and gain more modesty and peace. I have changed from caring about my image in the eyes of my relatives and friends to caring about their feelings and needs. I am really happy to be able to give some help and care to my relatives and friends.
Second, about friendship.
At the age of 20, my friend is another self. He must like the same colors, the same novels and the same games as me everywhere. If he doesn't tell me a secret in his heart, I will feel very hurt and will interpret it as distrust of me. If I don't tell my friends the secret of my heart, I will feel mean and fake, so I feel guilty. But if my friend tells others the secret I told him, I think so.
At the age of 30, friends are my means to achieve my goal, so I don't choose. The more the better, the food I scoop into the basket. Because friends are productivity, friends are wealth, and friends are bankbooks that can be withdrawn at any time. From this point of view, making friends is entirely out of my own needs. I need friends, I need help, and I need to show my needs.
Now I am 40 years old, and friends are a part of my life. The 40-year-old life course made me realize that as a spiritual self, it is the synthesis of all the memories in my life, and friends are an important part of it. Once a person becomes my friend, it will leave an indelible mark on my life. It is this understanding of life that makes me know how to cherish friends, friendship and opportunities between people. I treat all those who regard me as friends well, while those who regard me as friends choose and follow in good faith. When I regard my friends as a part of my life, I lose a utility in making friends and gain a good impression. Less criticism, picky and harsh, more praise, tolerance and encouragement. When I associate with friends, I no longer only care about my own feelings, but more about my friends' feelings. I no longer insist on whether my friends are the same as me. I will be happy that there are differences between them, so after filtering out utilitarian calculations, I realized the happiness and comfort brought by the pure and clean friendship between friends. My heart is often filled with gratitude to my friends, thanking fate for making them appear.
Third, about love.
At the age of 20, I can't tell love from need. I think the original impulse to the opposite sex is love, so realizing love is the self-satisfaction of the original impulse, and the romance about love is just an endless fantasy picture.
At the age of 30, I think love exists in fantasy, a myth fabricated by people to escape the pain of reality, and a dream that people dare not face reality and deliberately refuse to wake up. At the age of 30, love in my eyes is like a bare beach after the tide of passion recedes. It is desolate and rude in front of me, and love has become a way to satisfy my own desires. People bicker over trivial matters and swear for nonexistent self-esteem. They intrigue and hurt each other for their own petty profits, and subconsciously regard each other as enemies of lifelong struggle. It's like two lives come together and torture each other. At the age of 30, I don't believe that there is true love between men and women, only need and satisfaction, and utilitarian calculation.
At the age of 40, I think love is the most important part of my life. Love is no longer a fantasy and a dream, but my real life. After 40 years of life, I realized that there is not only true love between men and women, but also her degree has no boundaries. Two people who truly love each other will create endless joy, sublimate their souls in two of a kind, and make people sprout their ambition to go out again in a gentle land. I am no longer addicted to womanhood, but I will strip love from the mother of lust and realize her pure spiritual connotation. So I realized that love is an unrequited effort, a selfless care for another life, and a heartfelt hope for each other's happiness. When the other person gives back with such love, the god of luck will come, and the spark of love touched by the heart will drive away the cold nights in two lives. Since then, life has stepped into warmth and light. Love awakened my numb heart, aroused my ambition to struggle, made me treat others with kindness and tolerance, made me forgive all unforgivable people and things, and made me believe that the soul can live forever.
Fourth, about home.
I am 20 years old this year. In my concept, home refers to my parents' home, the place that gave me life, the old house where I lived for more than ten years, but I am eager to escape, but I am always attached to it. As for myself, it is a random combination of countless fantasy images that flashed through my mind. There is no definite shape and no specific content. This is a blurred picture of the future.
At the age of 30, the concept of home in my mind is a room to eat and sleep, a place to go back after work, a heavy burden, a source of trouble and pain, a place of endless troubles, built for peace but never peaceful. I want to know why I want to get married. I don't understand why our ancestors regarded home as so sacred. I doubt whether they are sane. I can't see any other reason for the existence of home except the reproduction of species.
40 years old, home is in my heart, the nest of love, the harbor of my soul, and the place where I cultivate my self. Here I can take off all the masks and disguises and face my true self naked. Home separates me from the noisy world and gives me my own peace. Here, my body is relaxed, my mind is harmonious and my soul is free. Happiness surrounds me like air. I am 40 years old.
Verb (short for verb) is about money.
At the age of 20, I treated money like dirt. When someone talks about money, I will scoff and take a contemptuous look. At that time, I will weigh the values of words such as career, ideal, friendship, love, country and nation on the same platform, and infer what money is with simple logic. There are so many things worth pursuing in life.
At the age of 30, I suddenly realized that money is absolutely impossible. So, money is everything. After several years of independent real life, I realized my innocence and ignorance at the age of 20. In real life, ideals, love, friendship, affection and career are inseparable from money. Dignity depends on money to maintain, kindness depends on money to express, and even personality can be demonstrated by the power of money. So, once again. Such as love, friendship, career, personality, etc., are compared on a table, and finally a conclusion is drawn: money determines everything, and money is everything. So I threw myself into the battle for money. In the struggle for money, my soul often groans in pain, reminding me that I have lost myself and lost my happiness and happiness.
At the age of 40, money is the most important tool in my eyes. Money is one of the most important tools for people to achieve career success, family happiness and self-worth. It is a means of life, not an end. Money and love, friendship, affection, happiness, personal dignity and career success are not at the same level. Therefore, it cannot be evaluated by horizontal comparison. In each of our lives, values such as love, friendship, affection, happiness, career and achievement are all the purposes of our lives, and money is the means to achieve our life goals. Therefore, at the age of 40, I attach great importance to the role and efficacy of money, and don't underestimate other fundamental values that belong to the purpose of life. Money is like a lover. If you are not careful, you will run into other people's arms, so you must take care of it. Spend money on your career and help your friends in distress. It is wise to help the poor, but it is foolish to buy pleasure and waste money with money, and it is evil to despise money. I like money, because it can help me build an ideal building, thus realizing my dream of helping others change their destiny.
Six, about the meaning of life
At the age of 20, the meaning of life has endless contents for me, from liberating the suffering people all over the world to realizing the four modernizations and then dedicating myself to science. At the age of 20, when I heard the words "country, nation and people", I instinctively connected myself with the meaning of life and felt that life had an objective and real meaning. As for love, happiness and happiness, they all express private affairs.
At the age of 30, my life seems to be in a fog and I don't know where I am. Where I come from and where I'm going have become an unanswered question mark. The meaning of life has become a nothingness without a question mark. Those vague words such as the rise and fall of the country, the fate of the nation, and dedication to science have lost their former aura. Just like watching a magic show from the background, it shows the original meaning of these words to a person's life. It was given artificially. I find it very funny to see someone shouting noble slogans, but actually shouting slogans as a means to realize personal interests. At the same time, I was extremely angry and felt cheated. I don't understand why there are two sets of rules of the game in society. People shout one set in public and do another in secret. If you apply the secret rules of the competition in public, people will call you tacky, stupid and even touch the sacred law net that people don't really respect. And if you use the open rules of the game in private, people will think you are a bookworm and stupid. You will always be a screw that never rusts in your current position. Fix it there and stop dreaming about promotion. In fact, the principle you shout is only for one person in the end, and the truth in your mind has nothing to do with you. As far as my own mentality is concerned, I am tired of the life in which the fate of the country and the nation is far-fetched linked with the meaning of my life by empty slogans, and I don't want to play seriously in front of the public, proudly publish true lies, diligently do meaningless things, and conscientiously do my part to make the people richer and richer. At the same time, I hate people's secret operations in private and don't want to go along with them. So I will not associate with the former, and I will not.
At the age of 40, I have reached the age when the ancients said I was puzzled. I can't remember when I suddenly had an epiphany, or it was like diving.