But emphasizing equality does not mean that the leading role of parents can be ignored. Children are young and have poor ability to distinguish right from wrong. They need the careful guidance of their parents all the time, further gain valuable experience and knowledge, and develop good behavior habits. But this leading role of parents is not reflected by coercive means. According to the characteristics of children, the use of games can often better reflect the combination of equality and dominance. For example, when I want my children to listen to stories, I often say, "Look at the doll, it's so lonely. He wants to hear a story. Will you accompany him? " I want my child to play with plasticine. I said, "The bear is hungry. Please make him some noodles!" " "Children refuse to wash their hands, so I read children's songs and play hand washing games with them. In a relaxed and pleasant game atmosphere, children unconsciously accepted their parents' requirements and developed good habits.
Second, free development and compliance with norms Every child has his own growth law. Only by respecting this law and giving children sufficient space for free development can they arouse their inner enthusiasm for development, give play to their initiative and better promote their physical and mental health. In the family, children are free to explore, choose and create as long as they do not interfere with their health and safety and the interests of others. For example, we stipulate that Saturday night is the time for children to have free activities. As long as the children don't do anything wrong, we never interfere. In our family, except the main switch and socket, children are not allowed to move, and other operations are encouraged. This not only increases the fun of children's exploration, but also enables children to learn the necessary knowledge of life, which can be described as killing two birds with one stone.
Of course, respecting children's free needs does not mean letting themselves go. As the saying goes, "Without rules, there would be no Fiona Fang." Only the education that combines freedom and norms is really conducive to the healthy development of children's body and mind. Therefore, when giving children freedom, there must be corresponding rules and regulations. For example, at home, let children know that all kinds of supplies and toys have a fixed position and should be put back after use; Daily diet and daily life should also have certain rules, go to bed on time and get up on time. Besides me, I should tell my children about public order and good customs, about civilization and norms, and consciously abide by them under the guidance and demonstration of parents. Family rules involve all aspects of family life, some of which need to be observed by family members, while others vary from person to person in family life. I have a friend who once had an argument about watching TV. Children don't go to bed until they watch TV with their parents every day. Later, their parents had no choice but not to watch TV every night. My children once asked me the same question. I said to him, "You are still young, it's time to grow up. You need more sleep than adults to grow up faster. " Hearing this, the son was convinced. It can be seen that when regulating children's behavior, it is necessary to explain the truth to children and let them voluntarily accept the norms.
Third, children's interests and parents' requirements. Interest is the intrinsic motivation for children to understand things. Once a child is interested in something, he will tend to it, pay attention to it and actively explore it. Therefore, only by respecting children's interests and being good at inspiring and guiding can parents give full play to their children's potential and achieve better educational results. I remember when my child was five years old, he began to learn calligraphy according to our wishes. Under our supervision, he practices calligraphy for an hour every day. One day, the child actually begged and said, "mom, I really don't like writing with a brush." It's not interesting at all. You force me to write it every day, but I actually write it for you. You are not happy when others praise me. " These words shocked me and made me sad, so I asked him, "What do you like?" The child said, "I like the piano and want to learn." I think it over and over again, and I think we should still respect the wishes of the child and meet his requirements. Because of his interest, he is now learning the piano very consciously. After finishing his homework, he integrated his rich imagination into the process of understanding and playing music, enriching his mind, cultivating his sentiment and getting twice the result with half the effort. He regards his efforts as a kind of satisfaction and enjoyment.
Respecting children's interests doesn't mean that parents can't make demands on their children. Especially for preschool children, their interests are often situational, influenced by accidental factors, and their stability is poor, and their interests come and go quickly. To this end, parents should help their children form a stable interest while respecting their choices. In addition, due to the poor judgment of children, sometimes there will be some interests that are not conducive to the healthy development of children's body and mind. At this time, parents need to make timely requests and guide them in time. Therefore, parents should discover their children's negative interests in time and conduct strict education on the basis of reasoning, so that children can nip in the bud and embark on the road of healthy growth.
Respect for children is the first principle of family education, while love without flattery, strictness with dignity, relaxation without indulgence and freedom without indulgence are the successful ways of family education.