1. A questionnaire survey was conducted among primary school students by nomination method.
In six aspects (good friends, study, activities, games, deskmates, class cadres), we asked the subjects to select several students who liked or disliked the most from the class peer group according to the criteria of "like" or "dislike", and asked the subjects to make an open and free statement on the reasons for making the choice, and then made statistical processing and analysis on the research results. We investigated and counted 869 pupils (male 5 12, female 357) in urban and rural areas respectively.
The results show that:
(1) Pupils' understanding of "what is a good friend" is gradually developing. Pupils in grade two think that their good friends in the class are classmates who are kind to me and play with me, while pupils in grade three to grade five emphasize that it is good for me to help each other first, then study hard, and then get along well. At the same time, the personality characteristics of primary school students, such as cuteness, are always an important factor. Among the factors of "why can't you be good friends", people who have aggressive behaviors such as beating and cursing are the first. Since the third grade, the proportion of students who have not finished their homework has gradually increased, indicating that the academic performance of primary school students has a great influence on whether they can become good friends.
(2) Primary school students have a clear understanding of whether they are willing to study together. Good or bad study is the biggest watershed. Willing to study together, there are factors such as mutual assistance and personality. Unwilling to study together is also related to disturbing people's study, cheating and copying homework and other bad study habits.
(3) Pupils' understanding of whether they want to participate in activities together is diversified. Pupils in grades two and three mainly emphasize frequent activities together, while pupils in grades four and five attach importance to good forms of activities, strong organizational skills and having fun. Fighting, making trouble, poor organization of activities and meaningless activities are the main factors that are unwilling to participate in activities together, which shows that primary school students have paid attention to the content, form and principles of activities since the senior grades of primary schools.
(4) Pupils' reaction to playing together is clear, that is, playing together and having fun. Junior pupils are satisfied as long as they can play together, while senior pupils emphasize that games should be interesting and help each other. As for beating and cursing, making trouble and not being serious, they are all important factors that are unwilling to play together.
(5) Pupils' understanding of "the last deskmate" is complicated. Aggressive behaviors such as hitting people, swearing and squeezing positions are the main factors, noisy speech is the important factor affecting learning, and poor learning, unsanitary, and the opposite sex are the secondary factors.
(6) Pupils' choice of "who is the least willing to be a cadre" is also relatively clear. Students who study poorly and don't finish their homework have no position in the eyes of primary school students and can't be cadres. Academic performance is very important. Students who are aggressive, irresponsible and have poor management skills are also difficult to be cadres in the eyes of primary school students.
2. Observe the interpersonal behavior of 27 pupils naturally.
Through the statistics of social distance scale, we measured 27 unpopular primary school students in urban and rural grades, 9 in low, middle and high grades. Through the detailed analysis of record forms and individual interviews, it shows that the interpersonal problem behaviors of excluded students tend to be aggressive, negligent, excessive and withdrawn, and in order to avoid various setbacks, the possibility of abnormal interpersonal communication is high. Further observation shows that the communication problem behaviors of excluded students in class groups are mainly aggressive behaviors such as fighting and swearing, as well as negligent behaviors such as "not paying attention in class" and "not completing homework". At the same time, the relationship between the quality of students' academic performance and them is interactive. Students who succeed in their studies are more popular than those who fail in their studies, and most of the excluded students are students who fail in their studies, which are mainly manifested in learning-related behaviors such as "inattention in class and default on homework". In addition, the excluded students also show behaviors such as "noisy", "showing off" and "unreasonable troubles", as well as behaviors such as "being alone", "being lonely" and "being wary". This may be because they deliberately show themselves to attract the attention of their classmates and teachers, and it is also a negative behavioral response to the unsatisfied self-esteem and normal communication needs.
Second, the performance of interpersonal problems of primary school students and their psychological analysis of attribution
1. Manifestation types and personality characteristics of interpersonal communication obstacles of primary school students
Through the results of the above open investigation and natural observation, we divide the interpersonal communication problems of primary school students into the following four types: (1) aggressive type. It is aggressive and hostile, often hitting and swearing, acting strangely, or threatening with force, arrogant, pretentious, moody and rude; (2) Poor students (academic). The performance is not serious in class, homework is not completed, there are many cheating behaviors, poor academic performance, and no progress without hard work; (3) noisy type. It shows that there is no discipline in class, no rules in activities and games, fooling around, or lacking necessary communication rules, not being good at dealing with problems in communication, lacking a sense of responsibility, living unrestrained, unorganized and undisciplined, and lying; (4) Retreat type. Show retreat, quiet, lonely, easy to refuse, indifferent to people, unsociable, lacking in interest, narrow-minded, insincere and hypocritical.
2. Primary school students' main psychological problems in interpersonal communication.
Through observation and case analysis, the main psychological problems in primary school students' interpersonal communication are: (1) dependence; (2) egocentricity; (3) unsociable.
3. Psychological attribution analysis of interpersonal communication barriers of primary school students
Personality is the comprehensive result of temperament, ability and personality, which has a very important influence on the interpersonal communication of primary school students. In addition to this core personality psychological factor, it is also manifested as communicative skill factor and communicative behavior factor, which constitutes the attribution whole of interpersonal communication problems of primary school students.
(1) communication skill factors
1) gender problem: it mainly brings difficulties to boys and girls, especially senior students. First, because there is still the traditional prejudice that "men and women give and receive without kissing", the normal communication between men and women is booed. Secondly, the heterosexual communication of primary school students has experienced a process from the natural communication of "two children don't have to guess" to mutual neglect, exclusion and attraction. Since the second grade of primary school, boys and girls have shown mutual neglect. In the senior grade of primary school, boys and girls enter the pre-adolescence, which not only reduces communication due to the difference of movements, but also produces a sense of shyness psychologically and begins to show obvious rejection tendency.
2) Appearance problem: Because of the "first impression" in psychological effect and the "superficial" characteristics of primary school students' communication, ugly, untidy, unhygienic and impolite appearance has also become an important factor for primary school students' poor communication.
3) Semantic problems: due to the different experiences of primary school students, it is caused by improper language communication process, which is manifested in insincere conversation attitude, chatter, improper pronunciation and intonation, improper jokes, easy to interrupt each other's conversation, and poor communication, distortion or misunderstanding, out of context, resulting in semantic obstacles.
4) Attitude: The attitudes of both parties in the communication of primary school students are not correct, and there is mutual exclusion caused by prejudice, discrimination and disagreement.
5) Narrow communication space: the large number of only children makes the communication opportunities between brother and sister scarce. The change of modern family form, especially the change of urban family form, restricts the physical space and environment of primary school students' communication. What's more, with the increasing pressure of entering a higher school, parents often strengthen their children's awareness of "learning" and dilute their awareness of "socializing", artificially depriving primary school students of the opportunity of "communication", and the restrictions of subjective and objective conditions have caused poor interpersonal communication among primary school students.
(2) communicative behavior factors
1) Cognitive dissonance: The two sides of primary school students' communication have different perspectives in information exchange, different thinking patterns and different understandings of the same problem. There is a deviation between the understanding of communication state and the understanding and evaluation of others. You can neither accurately understand your classmates nor correctly evaluate yourself, which will inevitably lead to improper communication behavior. A very important part of poor communication is cognitive dissonance and poor thinking mode. Therefore, through appropriate cognitive strategy changes, such as persuasion and understanding, situational discussion, role exchange, reading guidance and so on. , can improve the cognitive level of primary school students and change interpersonal relationships.
2) Emotion out of control: In the process of primary school students' communication, if either party is in an excessive state or in a bad mood, it is difficult to communicate opinions and even produce opposing emotions. Negative emotions such as anger, depression, anxiety, resentment and sadness may lead to misinterpretation of communication. A very important part of primary school students' interpersonal communication is the learning process of "emotion-experience". Emotional communication in interpersonal communication is more important than general information communication. It is necessary to promote students' interpersonal feelings from negative to positive, from surface to deep, from accident to relative stability, and cultivate empathy and emotional control ability.
3) Misconduct: Communication is a skill to a certain extent, and the communication activities of primary school students need to be carried out through explicit communication behavior. However, many poor communication behaviors, communication methods and relatively poor communication skills training make many primary school students unable to handle the communication process perfectly, which leads to passive communication. Therefore, on the one hand, it is necessary to shape good communication behaviors so that primary school students can master the essentials of communication skills skillfully; on the other hand, it is necessary to focus on eliminating and correcting inappropriate communication behaviors of primary school students, mainly aggressive behaviors and withdrawal behaviors.
(3) Personality and psychological factors
1) temperament type: it is mainly because the innate temperament of primary school students plays different roles in interpersonal communication, and the intimacy, stability and selectivity of interpersonal communication are also different, and the manifestations of bile, depression and mucus are also different. Bile and sanguine are easy to approach, and their communication options are diverse, but their stability is poor. Although the depressive type and the mucinous type are difficult to get close to, they have stable personalities, few choices but fine, and like to be alone.
2) Bad personality characteristics: Professor Zhu Zhixian, a famous psychologist in China, found that the personality development of primary school students in China had a period of rapid development and drastic changes around the sixth grade. It may lead to many bad personality traits. Such as: disrespect for classmates' personality and lack of feelings for classmates; Strong egoism, only concerned about their own interests and interests; Excessive dependence on others, no self-esteem; Have hostility, extreme emotions and suspicious personality; Excessive inferiority, lack of confidence, etc. These bad personalities can easily lead to communication barriers. Personality is plastic, mainly influenced by the environment. Therefore, it is necessary to create a good school class environment and let primary school students participate in colorful interpersonal communication.
3) Poor ability: If students have outstanding ability and specialty, they will be attractive. On the other hand, if primary school students are weak in various abilities, have no special skills in all aspects, and have no chance to express themselves, they are easily ignored, and their lack of ability is more likely to be excluded because of situations and active communication.
In short, a rough analysis of the manifestations and causes of poor interpersonal communication among primary school students aims to provide a basis for the guidance of interpersonal communication among primary school students. Within the scope of family education and school education, we should take "communication concept, communication etiquette and communication skills" and "cognitive change, experience guidance and behavior training" as the two axes to fully meet the psychological needs of primary school students and continuously improve their interpersonal communication level.