In daily life, children's complaining behavior is very common. It is observed that more than half of the children in the class will complain to the teacher during the day. Some children complain several times a day. So many complaints often make teachers feel at a loss. Moreover, when dealing with these complaints, I often feel that the effect is not good and I get half the result with half the effort.
What people usually call complaining refers to a unique interpersonal behavior when some conflicts and contradictions directly occur between people and cannot be solved by themselves, but rely on the strength of others to solve disputes.
In the group of young children, when they think that their interests have been infringed by their peers, or find that someone's behavior violates the rules of life and activities formulated before, they will report the behavior of others to the teacher.
It can be seen that complaining behavior is a manifestation of children's psychological and behavioral dependence in dealing with problems. Children's "complaining" is actually a manifestation of dependence. At the same time, due to the limitation of age development, children's cognitive level is still in a gradual process. Their cognition and discrimination of good and bad are very direct: "playing games with me" is good, and "not playing with toys" is bad. In addition, children are small and simple, and they are not afraid of anything. What is in their hearts will be immediately expressed with emotion. Usually, the child's complaint behavior is not to expose or report someone, but to attract the attention and recognition of the teacher:
1, in order to get the teacher's praise and affirmation, such as "teacher, so-and-so is not sitting well" and "so-and-so is talking again", the child wants to show himself "I sat well, but I didn't speak" by complaining, hoping to get the teacher's attention and give himself affirmation and praise.
2. In order to avoid the teacher's criticism and punishment, for example, children fight for toys while playing with toys, and children go to the teacher to complain about others. The purpose of this behavior is to avoid responsibility, criticism and punishment.
3. In order to report other people's bad behaviors, such as "XXX is hitting people", "XXX didn't pack his toys" and "Teacher, a child blocked the bathroom door". At this time, children often hope to praise and affirm their judgment of right and wrong through the teacher's handling of this behavior.
4. In order to maintain the established rules of collective life activities, such as: "So-and-so put his feet on the table", "So-and-so went to play with toys", "The teacher cut in line" and so on.
In order to help his peers, for example, when children see their peers being bullied, they immediately complain to the teacher that "someone took someone else's toys" and so on.
During the day's activities in kindergarten, teachers have to face all kinds of complaints from children. For these complaints, every teacher has different attitudes and different ways to deal with them. However, there are usually the following problems, but the treatment effect is not good:
Sometimes, some children are very dependent. No matter what problems they encounter, they will complain to the teacher. I hope the teacher can help them solve them. Teachers who complain more often lose patience, and they are rude and bored when dealing with these problems. Or some teachers are impatient with children's complaints, unable to consider children's psychology in person from the child's point of view, and ignore any complaints of children. Sometimes, when some naughty and noisy children complain in class, they often simply criticize the naughty children without asking the ins and outs of the matter.
There are various reasons for children's complaining behavior, and teachers should treat them differently. When the accusation is completely justified, the teacher should of course uphold justice and criticize the children issued by the defendant in order to establish a clear view of right and wrong. But in most cases, children complain not to maintain the principle of right and wrong, but to get praise from teachers or other purposes. In this case, the teacher blindly defends the plaintiff and criticizes the defendant's children, which is often not conducive to cultivating the children's ability to handle and solve problems independently, to the formation of the children's concept of right and wrong, and to give them wrong guidance.
For those children who are dependent and like to complain, they can also give him advice and let him handle it independently. Once the treatment is successful, teachers should encourage development in time and strengthen children's ability in this respect. When dealing with complaints, teachers should adopt different methods for different children. For a child with weak ability and strong dependence, the teacher should act as a guide, encourage him, let him handle it independently, and help him make suggestions and find ways. At the same time, some children with strong ability can help these children with weak ability to discuss a good solution to the problem. While solving problems, give more children benign guidance. There are still a few children who like to complain, just to please the teacher and express themselves. Teachers can't support and encourage them, because it will form the bad habit of monitoring other people's behavior and spying on other people's secrets everywhere. Over time, it will cause abnormal psychological development of children, resulting in major defects in personality. Therefore, teachers should stop this behavior in time and never condone it. Ensure the formation of children's correct value orientation.
To some extent, children's complaints are a positive attempt for them to gradually integrate into society. Therefore, teachers should treat children's complaints with a positive and welcome attitude. In daily life, when you encounter children's complaints, don't rush to make comments. You should calm down and listen patiently. On this basis, patient guidance and careful guidance. Find the crux of the problem and sit down and prescribe the right medicine. At the same time, believe that children have your ability to deal with conflicts with peers. Encourage them to find ways to solve problems so as to learn the correct way to get along with their peers. Cultivate children's independence and ability to distinguish right from wrong. Let children learn to communicate with each other, learn to solve problems through consultation, learn to share and be willing to share.
In short, there are many reasons for children's complaining behavior, so don't generalize when dealing with children's complaining behavior. We should be careful and patient, really find the crux of the problem and carry out targeted education. Step by step and persevere. Tell your child how to solve the problem, instead of simply arranging it. It is better to "teach people to fish" than to "teach people to fish" When children have the consciousness and ability to actively analyze and solve problems, all contradictions are solved.