Letting go is also love. A child's sense of independence affects his perception of the world. Life experience tells us that any kind of education can't compare with frustration and disaster education.
Today's children are mostly only children, enjoying the "six-to-one" care of their elders. Many parents take good care of their babies and do everything they say. They always want to hold them in their hands and protect them under their wings, and can't wait to do everything for them. Children educated by this kind of family often lack independence, strong dependence, weak personality and are used to shrinking.
In fact, deep down, children are also eager to see the world through the storm and think and act like adults. If parents always overstep their responsibilities, children's natural desires will be suppressed and shrunk, and eventually unhealthy psychology and personality will be formed. Therefore, letting go as soon as possible and letting children have a sense of autonomy is the performance of smart parents.
I once heard a story: an eagle who won the all-around championship of the All-Eagle Games, its favorite baby eagle, will never learn to fly. Because the baby eagle was born, the eagle carried it on its back and shuttled between the mountains and forests. The baby eagle was very happy to have a panoramic view of the world easily and never spread its wings again. The eagle is getting old and the baby eagle is growing up. Until one day, the eagle could hardly carry the baby eagle, and it was time for the baby eagle to fly by itself. The eagle is determined not to learn because it is afraid of falling and hurting. The eagle roared cruelly, "If you don't learn, I'll push you off the cliff!" " Say that finish, the eagle closed his eyes and gave the baby eagle a hard push. The baby eagle descended vertically into the mountain stream and suddenly burst into tears. At this time, the baby eagle suddenly remembered the flying essentials that her mother repeatedly emphasized: relax, spread her wings and fly with the trend. It did it step by step, and finally stopped and flew. It opened its eyes wide, the mountain wind blew slowly, the mountain flowers danced lightly around its waist, and the birds in the forest rejoiced It turns out that flying alone is so comfortable!
Associating from stories to the way parents educate their children. Many parents hold their children tightly around them and are reluctant to let go. They are always worried that their wings are not full and they are easy to get hurt. Excessive love and protection are extremely unfavorable for children to live independently, enter the society and deal with some unknown and unexpected events in the future. In fact, children have long had the ability to fly alone, but only because of our reluctance and dare, we lost the opportunity to learn and exercise. From this eagle story, we should be inspired. We should teach children to fly step by step when they are still young. Parents should not be soft-hearted when pushing their children off the cliff, so that their children can reap the joy and success of flying.
Therefore, when Xue Wei was a child, we let her go like an eagle, consciously cultivated her ability to fight, and didn't instill "princess" consciousness in her. Of course, every period, we put down her content is different.
Babies should always be accompanied by children, because children in this period are really weak. It can be said that children can't leave people around for 24 hours, even when they sleep.
Once upon a time, we had a neighbor who went out to buy food when her child was more than five months old. She thinks it's foolproof-anyway, the child is just asleep and won't turn over, but she will come back soon. When the careless mother came back, the poor child turned over and couldn't turn it back, which led to suffocation and death. The tragedy of that neighbor has made us feel cold in the back so far. Before Cheval was one year old, our principle was basically not to leave her alone, even if she fell asleep, she dared not leave for too long. Some dangerous things at home that will do harm to children must be put out of her reach. If the child is holding something that may cause harm, parents should stop it in time.
At the age of one, we began to teach Xue Wei to walk, from holding to slowly letting go, standing by, and then walking by herself until she could run. We didn't "force" her, but let her go. At the age of three, we began to exercise her ability to walk and do things independently and to communicate with the outside world.
We are going to let her go shopping by herself first. We taught her the face value of coins, from cents and dimes to one yuan. After a few more times, she could recognize them. Once she wanted to eat ice cream, we gave her change and asked her to buy it from her grandmother in the yard canteen. At first, she was afraid to go anyway, for fear of going out alone and talking to the old woman selling ice cream. We taught her sentence by sentence: "When you go, call your grandmother first, then tell her that you want to buy mung bean ice, then give her the money, say thank you and get the ice cream back."
She is still too shy to go. Xuewai's mother pretended to be helpless and said, "Mom doesn't have time to buy it for you either, so we won't eat it?"
Xuewai had no choice but to take the money and leave. Her mother crept behind her and stood not far from the canteen to watch. Xuewai first called "grandma" with a milk voice. The old lady selling ice cream looked at the little guy and was a little surprised. Then she saw Xuewei's mother not far away and praised her understandably, saying, "Xuewei has grown up and will come to grandma to buy things by herself."
Xuewai shyly rubbed his little skirt, whispered "thank you" and walked back with ice cream. Her mother quickly slipped home and stood by the door waiting for her. When I saw her, I also praised her: "Look, Xue Wei is so capable that he can do his own thing in the future."
Xuewai smiled at her mother while eating ice cream. From then on, it's no problem for Chevy to buy things by herself.
In the kindergarten stage, considering the busy and unsafe streets, it has always been a shuttle bus. But on the way to pick up and drop off, we consciously taught her the way, and constantly told her the essentials of crossing the driveway and crosswalk, including how to watch the traffic on both sides, how to avoid it, how to watch the traffic lights and other traffic common sense, so as to prepare her for school and school. You don't hold hands when you walk, let her follow, and you will hold hands when you cross the road. In primary school, her schoolbag was always carried by herself, although it was heavy. Sometimes grandma comes to pick her up and wants to help her carry her schoolbag, and she will politely refuse. She took it for granted that she should do her own thing
In middle school, Xue Wei can basically do things and act independently. No matter what activities we take part in, we let her go alone and never follow. Especially in high school, she often went to all parts of the country to participate in various trainings or competitions, and even went abroad. In order to take care of their children's food, clothing, housing and transportation, the parents of some of her classmates will follow their children to participate in any activities and stay in hotels near the training base. We never accompany her, even let her pack her own bags, so that she can find things as quickly as possible when she needs them. The best we can do is to help her prepare the medicine she needs for her trip when she is busy, and tell her the weather conditions and precautions at the destination, and tell her to contact her family if she has any problems when she arrives.
Once in a foreign competition, we couldn't contact her before the game, so we called her good friend. My good friend said that after the snow went away, I felt a little acclimatized, as if I had diarrhea. In order not to delay the game, she took some medicine and lay down in the house. We were a little anxious and waited anxiously at home. After a short rest, Xue Wei successfully passed the competition.
Later, she told us: "After I found loose bowels, I immediately found out the medicine I took with me and applied to the team leader to go to the game later so as to have more time to rest." This medicine is very useful. I had another rest. When I took a taxi to the scene, I was in good condition and did not affect the game. "
In this way, traveling again and again has exercised her ability to work independently and coordinate herself. Even if she goes to Australia in the future, we will let her prepare herself. We just tell her some key matters, watch her run around and guide her when necessary.
When we arrived at the university, Wei Xue was a baby eagle pushed off a cliff, and we completely released her. Because the process of learning to fly is gradual, her "solo flight" is very stable. Now, she is more like an experienced traveler than we are. No matter where she goes, what means of transportation she takes, whether she travels in a group or acts alone, no matter how strange the city is and how inconvenient it is to move, we are not worried at all. Once, she went to Hungary alone, and had a good time, from getting a visa to buying a plane ticket. Nothing can stop her. I hope her life is the same.
Now, Sylvia has completely left us and flew to the United States for the key years of her life. As the previous story said, the eagle is very happy to see the baby eagle soaring in the blue sky, enjoying the wonderful scenery and indulging in the beautiful clouds. At that time, my daughter will understand how right we are not to raise her as a "little princess".
On the road of life, we can't always hold our children, hold them and give them shelter from the wind and rain. If parents don't let go, it will slow down their children's walking speed, or make them eventually learn to be independent, which will do endless harm to their growth. It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish. Only by teaching them to walk and run can they see a wider world, truly learn to accept the world and feel the freedom and passion inside. Let go as boldly as an eagle, and you will achieve a happy life for your children!