Of course, looking through ancient stories, we can't help but find that this Xiong Haizi is by no means exclusive to today. For example, in the Northern Song Dynasty, a group of Xiong Haizi played hide-and-seek around their ancestral home. On the spur of the moment, one of them played some high-end games, shouted for you to arrest me, and then plopped into the water tank, almost choking. Another Xiong Haizi saw it, immediately put up with it and ran away. Fortunately, there is another person who didn't take responsibility, Sima Guang, who grabbed a stone and smashed it. This is the famous Sima Guang who smashed cans. However, I'm afraid this money is from Xiong Haizi's father.
There should be many such ancient Xiong Haizi, but there are many more wonderful ones. For example, Comrade Gao Yanzong of BAIC can definitely be called one. Looking through Gao Yanzong's resume is actually quite fun. The famous one-day emperor in history refers to him. The so-called one-day emperor is to be the emperor for only one day and then be ousted. Of course, Gao Yanzong was an adult at this time, but what we are going to talk about next is his childhood.
That's the record. Gao Yanzong was raised by his uncle Wen Xuandi Gao Yang when he was a child. Gao Yang likes this Xiong Haizi very much and often plays on his stomach, but as a child, he is easy to go crazy when playing. A bubble of urine finally didn't hold back and spilled out. Right in the middle of Levin's navel. Gao Yang is not angry. He flicked the glittering and translucent penis in front of him and went over to ask, what kind of king do you want to be, little baby? Emperor Yanzong lowered his head and pointed to his cocky penis. He gave a thumbs-up and said, I want to be the king of the sky. . Of course, after a bear Haizi's ordeal, Dingzhou's adults can only cry.
Interestingly, many people in history are more wonderful than Gao Yanzong. For example, the deposed Emperor Liu of the Northern and Southern Dynasties was one of them. Some critics say that although he is a leader, he is less vicious, heartless and unfilial, and works for himself. In modern terms, Liu is an asshole, and pigs and dogs are worse. So, what did this big brother do to make historians so angry? Let's take our time.
Liu was about fifteen when he became king. This 15-year-old child is a child in the modern sense. But the child is a bear, but it's gone. Before his ass was hot on the throne, he ran to the ancestral hall to brag about the memorial tablet portrait of his ancestors. Write like this: treat insulting Zukao as a joke. For example, his father, Liu Jun and Emperor Xiaowu of Song Dynasty, died peacefully. Originally, Liu Jun was a nose with distiller's grains, but in portraits, for the sake of beauty, he naturally made a PS, one-click beauty. But this Xiong Haizi is playing. He said with a smile that art comes from reality. He ordered to make amends.
The dead are playing tricks, and the living are naturally not immune. Now, I sympathize with his uncles. The ugly ones are called the thief king, the grumpy ones are called the donkey king, the rude ones are called the killer king, and the fat ones are called the pig king. You see, this dark and funny version of the Four Kings has just come out. Of course, it doesn't matter if it's just a nickname. But how can our Liu let anything interesting go? For example, feed pig food to the king of pigs. Look, at this point, your majesty is talking about tears.
But Liu's creativity goes far beyond that. According to the record, you visited the bamboo hall of Hualin Garden, which made the royal servants chase it. What do you mean? Is idle, ordered imperial secretary took off his clothes, naked hide-and-seek in the palace, in order to be happy. For example, children are curious and want to see some aunts striptease, that's all. But our Liu is serious. This passive Nuo Nuo woman turned out to be her own sister, Princess Yinshan.
What's even more ridiculous is that after the bed shock and car shock of my sister and brother, Princess Yinshan actually took the clause of equality between men and women and asked this Xiong Haizi for more bed friends. And Liu actually returned it, the wholesale kind. Of course, this kind of Xiong Haizi, the emperor's high-risk occupation, is probably not suitable for him. Sure enough, within two years, people were scratched.
But not all Xiong Haizi are as embarrassed as Gao Yanzong and Liu. There are always exceptions. For example, Cao Cao, Emperor Wu of Wei, is one of them. Of course, the title of Wei Wudi was abruptly buckled on his tombstone by his son Xelloss. But Cao Cao said a word without farting, which was quite domineering. People think there are no orphans in the world. I don't know when several people will be crowned emperor and several people will be crowned king. So the consensus of modern people is roughly like this. Cao Cao is a hero. At least, a bad hero.
But if the clock is set to Cao Cao's childhood, the word "hero" will be removed for the time being, leaving a bad one. How bad is it? It is recorded like this: Fuck, I am good at flying eagles and running dogs, wandering around the world. Fuck this word, it may still be an modal particle. In other words, taking pictures in other people's cars and peeing in other people's bridal chambers are all done by Cao Cao. For a long time, his uncle was dissatisfied and went to complain to Cao Cao's father Cao Song.
Tell uncle, shall we? Cao Cao naturally has a way. When I met my uncle on the road, Cao Cao sat on the ground, convulsing his limbs and foaming at the mouth. This time, my uncle was dumbfounded, pulled up his nephew and asked with concern, what's the matter? Our Cao Cao was electrocuted and bit his uncle's skirt, trembling and sobbing. Uncle was in a hurry, so he called Cao Song quickly. When Cao Song came, he saw Cao Cao squatting on the ground, covered in dust, with innocent eyes. Cao Song glanced at his uncle and seemed to have traces of pulling, so he left. You, an adult, can't argue with children? Poor uncle, even more dumbfounded, went back to Cao Cao and saw this big brother sticking out his tongue and making faces, alive and kicking.
Look, if you have such a bear nephew, you must shoot him.