Even if you don't know Mary, you should know "Ma Dongmei". Yes, that's her.

Most people in China should be familiar with Mary. Because she created two wonderful characters, one is Ma Dongmei in the sketch "Happy Today 2" in 20 13 Spring Festival Evening, and the other is Ma Dongmei in the movie "Goodbye, Mr. Loser" in 20 15.

But that's not important. This is not the focus of this article. What I want to talk about here is "Ma Dongmei"-Mary's marriage.

20 1 1 On April 65438, Mary announced her marriage. Her husband Xu Wenhe was born in 1993.

This couple, both 1 1 years old, especially the female and male, are both 1 1 years old. How can they live together? Many wives are two or three years older than their husbands, shouting "adopted sons". If you are more than ten years older, isn't it "raising grandchildren"?

However, Mary talked about her marriage in a recent interview.

"My husband and I are together, just like friends. Instead of turning marriage into a shackle, we turned it into our common love nest. This home is for us, and we need to dedicate all our love to each other. "

"Our mode of getting along is the same-sometimes like brothers and sisters, sometimes like father and daughter, sometimes like friends and brothers. It is complicated, but it will last longer. "

After hearing what she said, as an author who has studied emotional relationships for several years, my judgment is that they are very comfortable and suitable together.

If a couple can get married in many ways, then happiness will not run away. Fear is fear, and husband and wife are husband and wife.

What do you mean husband and wife are just husband and wife? Most of them are traditional marriages. Men and women are only together to support each other in life and carry on the family line. After eating, play by yourself; When I reach a certain age, I sleep separately. Whether they love each other or not is not important to them.

Anyway, life goes on as usual and makes do.

However, those who regard husband and wife as friends, brothers, siblings and fathers and daughters are really happy. Why do you say that?

For example, if a couple can get along as "brother and sister", then the wife will always think about being good to her husband.

Anyone with a sister knows this. When you are very young, my sister will give you delicious food, have fun, take you anywhere and care about you when you are not at home.

People in China like to sing praises to their mothers, but I personally think my brothers and sisters (who get along well with each other, of course) are also very warm. Big brother is like father, and big sister is like mother.

Zhao Lei's Letter Not Delivered to His Sister tells the story of a man's inner longing for his sister. My sister is different from my mother, but she is very similar to my mother.

My sister loves her brother very much, but she doesn't always have a lot of nagging and discipline like her mother. This is a very comfortable relationship.

If husband and wife can get along like "father and daughter", the man will love his wife very much, and there will be infinite love in his heart without beating and cursing.

Generally speaking, a father's love for his daughter is particularly gentle, even gentler than a mother's love for her son. Fathers generally don't ask their daughters to do this or that, but mothers will discipline their sons more or less and love them more seriously.

But a father dotes on his daughter. If a husband treats his wife like a father treats his daughter, will he complain about his wife? Will he blame his wife? Almost impossible.

If a man loves his wife as much as his daughter, he must be a tolerant, generous, responsible, rigid and gentle husband.

If husband and wife can get along and become friends, then they will have endless words, endless days and endless things together.

They will discuss and argue, and they can talk about a problem for a long time. They will also support each other and cheer each other up.

Even, many times, I think the most beautiful couple should include the love of "father and daughter", "brother and sister" and "friend".

Of course, when it comes to the specific mode of getting along, Mary told an impressive thing:

"My husband is the first person who can let me see all my shortcomings. I couldn't bear it at that time. We haven't known each other long, and I'm angry. I thought, is this man crazy? Why? If you think I am so bad, why did you choose me? "

"People like to listen to good news, but when I calmed down, I almost didn't sleep all night. When I saw him the next day, I told him, and I said thank you. Because, I suddenly found that no one has ever spoken to me like this. I feel very grateful to him. "

The point here is: tell the other person's shortcomings directly.

In this regard, some time ago when I wrote an article about Max Zhang and Ada Choi, I also quoted a passage from Max Zhang and put it today:

"I have to say a real me and her, not that she is like this, she will always be like this, and I will accept her like this. Not that I am like this. I was like this when you met me. You must accept me. Don't both of them have to make progress? Don't you have to grow up? You think you are patient, but you will still be dissatisfied. It's just that you didn't show it, but the next time the contradiction comes out, you may send out this resentment. I don't want to accumulate this resentment. "

In fact, a good marriage, tolerance is of course one aspect. But a lifetime is so long, who can tolerate how much? How long can I stand when you make the same mistake again and again?

Therefore, it is much healthier to find each other's shortcomings and speak out directly than to endure and digest this medicine silently. This is what true friends should do.

When you treat your partner as a friend, it is natural to tell his shortcomings. Of course, you should also pay attention to the ways and means when you speak, and you must never say it in an accusing tone.

Communication is the most important knowledge in marriage, because differences and contradictions will happen at any time. If you don't actively communicate and treat each other as friends, it is difficult for marriage to develop in the direction of "more and more love".

I hope everyone can get along with each other in a rich and gentle relationship-including "sister", "father and daughter" and "friend".