Author/Xian Guiren

Before I got on the subway, I stuffed a jujube in my mouth. I felt a little short of blood recently, and I was afraid of lack of oxygen. When I got off the subway, I really didn't know what happened. I just think there are too many people crowded at the door. I must not miss the station, or I will be late, so I try my best to open the door. When the subway stopped, a hurricane suddenly blew. When I woke up, I had rotated several times and stood beside the platform. The subway rumbled away and I swallowed a jujube pit.

I watched the tracks parallel and submerged in the pit in front of me, swallowed a mouthful of saliva and washed the jujube stones into my stomach. I was in a daze for two seconds and ran towards the company. As a result, I ran the wrong exit and bypassed the ground, calling myself mentally retarded while running.

1.

It's strange that I don't know the stairs, especially the floor at the exit of Guangxin Tiandi in Dawang Road subway station. Every time I go up the stairs, I almost step empty. I have to pause and think about whether to lift my right leg or my left leg. Laughing at your cerebellar defect when you are in a good mood is a gift from God. Cursing the stair repair project when you are in a bad mood is deliberately misleading us disabled people. More often, I'm not in the mood to adjust my posture and run right away.

20 13 I go to work in Huamao Commercial Building behind Guangxin Tiandi, and I pass by Prada every day. When I got off work, I was blindfolded by Chanel's flashing window. I never stopped, just to miss the subway. There are always couples taking pictures next to this wall at Christmas, and I scoff, thinking that they must be as afraid to walk in as I am. Chanel's window is a twinkling star, oh, or a diamond, well, it's just a light. Sometimes I stop and look up when I pass by. The stars don't shine like Chanel, really. I don't know if it's the smoke. I looked carefully and didn't see many.

"How long have you not seen the stars all over the sky? The false light of the city night covers your eyes."

2.

I didn't come to Beijing to pursue my dreams. If you just want to make money with your dreams aboveboard, how ridiculous your dreams will be. Big cities are not the touchstone of dreams. If money is gorgeous enough, it will cover more than your eyes.

In the year of graduation, I took a thick resume to find a job in Xi 'an. I was unlucky and failed for two days. I bought a plane ticket to Beijing a week later, and I said to myself, if I find something similar this week, I will stay first. The last interview was with a cosmetics company, which was a promotion. The company is very beautiful, with its own floor and a faint perfume in the compartment. HR asked a lot of questions and asked me to write an 800-word soft article with a pen. She thought about it, smoothed Liu Haier's glasses, cleared her throat and said to me, "I have no work experience, and the internship period is 1300. I'll see your grades when I turn positive. " She stood in front of me with thick glasses, and a circle of degree marks could be seen from her side face. I moved my nose, nodded politely and said to go back and think about it.

"I depend, 1300? Can you give me back my ten-dollar resume! " I swore all the way out of the company door and set foot on the train to Beijing.

Vigorous, with a little disdain and full of anxiety, who knew at that time that this was the rhythm of the axis of destiny rolling out.

3.

All North drifters have encountered several problems: looking for a job and looking for a needle in a haystack, there are people everywhere, and I don't know which company has more money; Looking for a house in the fog, renting a house everywhere, photos and real scenes are far less than Taobao pictures and buyer shows; Long overtime hours lament the exploitation of capital, but there is nowhere to go after work.

I'm fine. I lived at a friend's house at first. The scenery upstairs is beautiful, and downstairs is a street flooded by heavy rain. The sunset at dusk has been seen several times through the French window. In the fiery sunset, she and I sat on the floor counting cat hair and comforted ourselves that there was always a transition period when we first arrived, always at a friend's house. I worked overtime to 1 1, and my legs trembled at the bus stop, just to get the 20 yuan fare reimbursed for overtime. In the first month, I looked at the short message on my mobile phone and lamented that it was not as good as 1300 to write soft articles on cosmetics. I was glad that I was tall enough to catch the top handrail on the crowded bus and was squeezed by the crowd.

Later, I followed the agent to see countless rooms, most of which were shared. A family can live in five or six households, where men and women live together. Comfort yourself that this is only a low version of ipartment, and everyone must live in harmony. The driver of the black car left my luggage downstairs and left. I finally moved and cleaned up. Go out and come back, open the door and see a surprise. A small group of cockroaches fled in a hurry under the leadership of the captain. I gasped, and the roommate girl I met once saw my green face and rolled her eyes. "Are you afraid of cockroaches?" Only in summer. "I smiled awkwardly. I am not afraid of cockroaches. I stayed for three days and just jumped off the 16 floor. Everyone has a dead hole, and insects are my dead hole. Sorry, I didn't have a big reversal of inspiration, and I didn't grow up to be a strong girl who was trampled to death and wrote an epitaph on it. I sat in bed crying, paid the penalty, and fled in a hurry.

4.

When a person is poor and lonely, it is easy to rely on his partner. My boyfriend drove me away in an electric car in the vast city of Beijing. He loves cycling and runs around in the disaster of traffic jams. At first, I was afraid of death. I haven't taken out the housing accumulation fund paid by the company and spent it. I can't die. Then I stopped worrying and couldn't die. I fell three times by an electric car, and he was safe and sound. I fell vertically.

At that time, my boyfriend was from Beijing. He doesn't care how much it costs because he has a house. A house less than 40 square meters, but located in the Second Ring Road, may become a huge family heirloom, which will make his satisfaction with life soar. And I work overtime every day, I don't know ten nights, and I know a lot of people. They worked hard enough, and the thriving atmosphere affected me. I began to realize that the girls around me can really recite Prada, and I gradually became angry at my boyfriend's lack of progress.

The emotional foundation for sharing poverty is either indestructible or fragile. I just want to run as fast as I can, but you are content to stand still. I urge you, but you don't move. Sooner or later, you hate my insatiable so-called enterprise.

20 14 just after the new year, I was swept out of the house, in a room on the second ring road, less than 16 square meters. I just came back from home, and the awesome meal I blew in front of my hometown directly led to my being penniless. I walked along the streets of Beijing in the early morning with my suitcase, surrounded by the prosperity of reinforced concrete, but there was no home for me.

I have been drifting in the north for three years, and I am most afraid of the clatter of the suitcase universal wheel landing. There are too many people carrying suitcases on the streets of Beijing, and a strong sense of wandering is mixed with dust floating in the air. I hardly have a room. I sat in a chair and smoked in front of the mirror. I didn't cry, thinking hard about how I got into such a situation. Looking up, there are walls all around, and there are no windows in the economy room.

"Love this thing, you no longer have the courage. The more beautiful the love song is, the more suspicious you are. "

five

The opening remarks of the animal year gave me a fatal blow, with more than 10,000 deposits. I burst into tears when my colleagues enthusiastically left a message asking me if I had any questions. The blow of lovelorn love is just a mystery. What did I do to make you kill me so much in such a long time? Pity in your eyes is worse than facing passers-by

I don't want to be angry, but loneliness really wakes people up. A friend is leaving Beijing. Ask her out for a drink. Everyone raised their glasses to meet each other, told each other their hearts and complained about the reality from Beijing's air to Beijing. Life is too bitter to vent. A friend who doesn't care if he is drunk in a car, drink after drink. Walking out of the restaurant was half awakened by the cold wind. Fortunately, the restaurant provided a telephone for driving. Uncle Dai came, covered in dust, and stuffed the folding bike into the trunk. My friend's house is outside the North Fifth Ring Road, and we set out from the East Third Ring Road. My uncle is very enthusiastic. He introduced Beijing all the way and recommended many places to eat. I took out my mobile phone and wrote down his phone number, saying I would call you next time! But I don't have a car. Uncle smiled and said, your young people's world is really interesting! When the road was bumpy, the bike in the trunk gave a bang. I asked uncle, what are you doing by bike? He said with a smile, it's too late. There is no car, so I have to go back by bike. My heart is sour, so far away, so cold weather, you see how many people are rushing for their lives, but you are dragging the rope of lovelorn, thinking that you are the only one in the world who has been caught by the throat.

"Many people have come and gone, and they have gathered and dispersed. Some people also fled in a hurry, this person is Beijing! "

6.

At school, teachers and parents hate cleverness most. The formula is that you have to substitute the answer. Even if you guess cleverness from other directions, you should strive for the first place in the road taken by others. To covet other places is to take shortcuts. I am the child who is often called smart.

After graduation, I found that cleverness is not so unbearable as long as it is used in the right place. It is not necessarily derogatory to swear not to stop until you reach your goal. I stayed for four hours on my way to and from work. Because there was no signal in the subway, I had to download a bunch of pirated and genuine e-books. Occasionally, I am too tired to stand up and sit directly on the floor of the 15 line, facing a bunch of uncles in another car far away. They sat and I sat, but neither of us had seats. The difference is that they are sitting on the bedclothes in nylon bags. I just sit on the ground, but I smell a little appreciation for each other.

I just read and wrote in my four-hour compulsory spare time, and finally got the answer one day in April. The editor praised me for my talent and I smiled. What is talent? A gift from heaven? No, no, no, it's not. This is your gift to yourself. It's a history of blood and tears after you drained yourself. How many detours have been taken behind this? You can't be kind to others, just smile and say, it's all natural.

7.

I live a little outside the Third Ring Road now, and I can see big underpants if I look hard. Wet clothes still can't be dried by the sun because there is no balcony. The overflow from the washing machine upstairs seeped down from the ceiling and flooded the microwave oven in the kitchen. The girl's stockings upstairs often float to my windowsill. I also boasted to my family that I lived a city life full of money. In fact, when I worked overtime until midnight, when I was overwhelmed by my home phone, I couldn't wait to pretend that I was on vacation in Vienna.

But you see, the road is so wide. Although you are not the only one walking, the end of happiness is always open to everyone. Others are carrying heavy burdens with a smile on their faces, but you are only worried about clothes that you can't do.

Beijing is so big that I don't know where it is yet. If you are not careful, you will take the subway backwards. The thought of sitting on the subway floor makes me feel like a spoiled and helpless recidivist. Looking back now, I just want to thank those four overlapping hours for making a qualitative leap in my reading. The detours you took were never in vain.

On weekends, I sat at home in the sun, surrounded by heating, stuffed dates into my mouth one by one, shouted at my roommate with jujube stones, accidentally swallowed another one, and quickly took a sip of milk tea at hand. There are still many people at Dawanglu subway station, but I have recognized the hiking exit and won't miss it easily again.

Perhaps the story is not so frustrating, but the fragrance of a bright future is still the most attractive.

Beijing, let me hug you in sunny weather.

Xian Guiren, resident author of "One" App. He has published Never Leave You Alone, Too Soft-hearted, Ambiguous, Escape from Danger and Destroy Love. @ xianguiren

(Editor: Xue)

Music: 1967-ゴンチチ, 28-ゴンチチチィツモビ.