What kind of parents do you want to play in the process of parenting? Some people say, "Parents should educate themselves before educating their children. Children can borrow books, grow from books and grow into adults; Adults can also borrow books, grow up from books and become parents.
The following four books are recommended for you who are still learning to be a parent. I hope that parents can learn to treat their children with respect and equality through their own roles and upbringing in the process of getting along with their children.
Does the child know that you love him (author/Wang Peizhen, publishing house/love children and love yourself)
"When I say something nice to my children, I will deliberately avoid making a causal connection between my children's achievements and my love." . Many children think that their parents love their successful self. Of course, I also want my children to achieve something, but this is not the reason why I love them. 」
In the role of Wang Peizan, the mother is like a lover.
In the Taiwanese drama Your Child Is Not Your Child, the boy said to his mother in despair, "Do you love me?" And my mother looked sad, surprised and angry and didn't speak; In the American drama Casual, facing the heroine's helplessness, the male host said: "Children spend their whole lives waiting for their parents to say' I'm sorry', while parents spend their whole lives waiting for their children to say' thank you'. This extreme appearance between parents and children will really happen in reality. Why can't a boy understand his mother's love? Why do parents think their love will be appreciated, but children are waiting for "I'm sorry"? Everyone loves their children, but "does the child know that you love him?" " 」
As a lover, Wang Peizan listed many examples in the book, including the confusion of modern parents and common parenting myths, and also shared many ways of love when interacting with children. She thinks that every parent in the world loves his children instinctively, but there are many ways to love someone. When love can't be conveyed, when love is distorted by wrong ideas, it becomes a sharp and hurtful front, and the knife is threatening. As parents, we all need to know "love" before we can raise our children with love.
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Dad's 16 letter: dedicated to you who can think (author/Lin Liang, publishing house/Mandarin Daily)
"KINOMOTO SAKURA KINOMOTO SAKURA:
Friends can increase your knowledge and expand your life experience, so friends are really like a good book. The more friends you know, the more good books you read. The more new friends you make, the more new books you read. This metaphor must be easy for you to understand. I know you're already doing it. I am writing this letter just to let you know that I like it very much. 」
Lin Liang's role as a father is like a sharer.
For anyone, youth is really a hasty book. The fleeting years make childhood memories still clear yesterday, and children should be curious or confused. Dad knows and shares it with you. Lin Liang wrote 16 letters to his daughter. Each letter is a philosophy, a father's experience and thoughts, "dedicated to people who can think".
From the past to the present, this book has always been an excellent reading for children by schools or parents. However, in his letter, Lin Liang hopes that children can reflect and learn from their mistakes, disappointments, successes and disappointments, and the model of parent-child communication and upbringing shown in this book is also dedicated to making every parent reconsider how they want to "share" their lives with their children.
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Travel, Teach Children Courage: A True Story of a Father and Daughter Exploring Alaska "Mountains, tundra and gravel beaches began to replace wasteland and mud ponds. However, I have walked through so many tundra, and I know that what I see in front of me may only be an illusion, especially when I look down from the plane. We may be trapped for several days before we meet dry land. When I felt Aidan's hand coming, Cora raised her nose to let the plane down. This has become our tacit understanding. I hugged her three times and told her "I love you". 」
James's role as a father is like a traveling companion.
This is a travel book, which records the adventure story of James taking his daughter Aidan to Alaska, and it is also her daughter's bar mitzvah. What can be seen from the book is that he took his children to face the difficulties of wilderness life, overcame his inner fears, and completed this adventure in limited parent-child time.
At the beginning of the book, James quoted Harding? A passage from Carter: "There are two kinds of heritages that we can leave to our children forever: one is roots and the other is wings. He hoped that the company he gave would allow Aidan to spread his wings freely and grow and fly with full courage, imagination and open mind. Aidan's flying wings will stay behind her forever.
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Dad's Etudes: Etudes for Dad (Author/Xiaozhuang, Publishing House/Dara)
"On that day, my life officially entered a new stage. I was both afraid and full of hope. I remember it was a sunny morning. When I settled down in the hospital and hurried home to get DV, I caught a glimpse of a rainbow in the sky ... "
As a father, Xiaozhuang is like a companion.
This is a comic book, not a love letter from Xiaozhuang to his son Max. The writing is gentle and delicate, in fact, it depicts the life of parenting, which can be found by novice fathers and Xiaozhuang.
The role of "father" is very strange, but Xiaozhuang tries to overcome the tension as a "rookie" and wholeheartedly accompany Max to grow up. He said, "Life is about constant practice. From the time the child learned to crawl and walk to the first time he spoke, Xiaozhuang was also growing, from initial ignorance and helplessness to becoming a skilled "father". Do you remember when your father grew up with you? In the book, Xiaozhuang tells the daily parenting with his dialogue and interaction with Max. Even if it is ordinary, I can deeply feel Xiaozhuang's wish that children can grow up healthily and safely in this painting.
A few years later, when Max casually talked about his childhood, maybe he was already a father in an instant. Perhaps he is also ignorant and helpless, and these, every father has had.
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What these four books have in common is the loving interaction and companionship between parents and children. However, we often ignore the importance of communication and companionship, or use the wrong way of love, which will inevitably lead to poor upbringing.
Parents are not necessarily authoritative, but they can be children's travel companions, children's choice to share objects, and even children's lovers. We can use different roles and ways to bring the care and companionship that children need most at this stage of growth.