This incredible figure is Dong Fangshuo. At that time, no one could understand him. Modern values are diversified, but there is one word difference: the other.
The word "alternative" is good. First of all, it is neither good nor bad. What we want to discuss is how and why Dong Fangshuo is different; As for whether he is right or not, whether he should imitate it is a matter of opinion. Secondly, literally, "the other" means "the other". Since "the other", we should treat him outside all kinds of classical or modern rules and regulations.
What ability does Dong Fangshuo have to carry out the "alternative" to the end?
7. 1 fame and salary
First, apply for a job.
Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty likes "sea election". Remember Zhang Qian, which hollowed out the western regions? He only borrowed a "sea election" to become a plenipotentiary ambassador. "Sea election" means "there is no threshold for selecting talents". "Blowing the sea" is naturally "blowing big cows is irrelevant".
After Hanwu succeeded to the throne, in the first year of Jianyuan (before 140), he sent letters to various places, widely recommending virtuous Fang Zhengzhi scholars. In this "sea election" activity, many scholars from all over the world wrote that there are thousands of winners and losers, which is unprecedented. In addition, once selected, they will not win the second place, regardless of their qualifications, and they will be well paid.
Sure enough, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty found two treasures in the "sea election".
The first baby is Dong Zhongshu. Dong Zhongshu is a master of the Spring and Autumn Annals of Yang Gong School. Based on Confucianism, his "Three Strategies for Heaven and Man" introduced the theory of Yin-Yang and Five Elements, and constructed the "Great Unity" ideological system of "Unity of Heaven and Man", which was brilliant and thoughtful. And put forward a series of strategies for governing the country. Therefore, Dong Zhongshu's selection was quite satisfactory, and Emperor Wu met each other late.
The second child is Dong Fangshuo. This "sea election" is only better than articles, not talent; Not Dong Fangshuo's strong suit. But he can still stand out among thousands of job seekers.
What made the emperor fall in love at first sight? Dong Fangshuo's method is "blowing at sea".
Let's see how Dong Fangshuo screwed up-
Right Dong Fangshuo, whose parents died young, was raised by her elder sister-in-law. Reading at the age of twelve, three winters of literature and history is enough. Fifteen learned fencing, sixteen learned poetry and songs, and read 220,000 words. /kloc-at the age of 0/9, he studied Sun Tzu's Art of War and read 220,000 words.
Now I am twenty-two years old and nine feet three (more than two meters) tall. Eyes as bright as pearls, teeth as neat and white as shells, courage of Meng Ben (a warrior who defended the country in ancient times), agility of a man who was famous for his agility in the pre-Qin period, incorruptibility of a doctor in Qi (who shared wealth with Guan Zhong and took all of it), and a tail born (a name in the pre-Qin period, when he met his girlfriend under the bridge, his friend didn't arrive, the river rose and his tail stuck to him and drowned). I am a minister with both talents and looks, and I am worthy of being the son of heaven!
Dong Fangshuo's resume is described as "bad words and high praise" in Historical Records. However, he took the lead by surprise attack. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty remembered the words "Dong Fangshuo" and praised them.
If Dong Zhongshu's Three Strategies for Heaven and Man is a tonic, it is to benefit the gallbladder and nourish the heart. This article by Dong Fangshuo is a bottle of Chili sauce, which will stimulate appetite and refresh the mind. The difference between Mr. Dongfang is self-evident: first, he does not talk about governing the country, and second, he flaunts himself. From beginning to end, there is not a warp and weft.
However, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was deeply attracted by Dong Fangshuo and regarded him as a wizard. But Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was very measured; In the final analysis, this is just a "cry roast meat" remark, and it has not put forward any way to govern the country. Compared with Dong Zhongshu, Dong Fangshuo is definitely not in the same heavyweight. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty gave Dong Zhongshu three policies in succession, but only gave Dong Fangshuo a "bus agency" to be summoned (that is, waiting for the imperial edict in the yamen of the "bus agency", which is actually a junior consultant). Compared with Dong Zhongshu and Gong of the same rank, they have low status and poor treatment, and rarely see Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty.
Dong Fangshuo's debut was a real surprise. Dong Fangshuo was not the only one who made rude remarks after the reign of Emperor Wu, and Ji An often made Emperor Wu laugh and cry. But Ji An is rude because he can't talk; And Dong Fangshuo's sea blowing, quoting allusions and laying out metaphors are basically reasonable. If it is not "the old lady selling melons", it can also be called a beautiful article. He deliberately created a sensory shock to Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, who concentrated on marking papers and was tired of aesthetics. Dong Fangshuo's "Other" is full of deception!
Second, promotion.
Dong Fangshuo is not a conformist scholar. His body is not only full of deception, but also full of humor.
Dong Fangshuo was very excited when waiting for the "bus". However, as time went on, Dong Fangshuo began to worry. Seeing that both Dong Zhongshu and Gong have prominent official residences, the students from the east are still a small "bus" summoned, and they have no right or benefit. Just like BiMarvin in heaven, it's just a decoration, just do it. What are we going to do? Aren't we going to make a scene? No way. Dong Fangshuo willy-nilly, if nobody promotes himself, he will promote himself!
Dong Fangshuo speculated that it started with "Bi Marvin". He found the goblins who fed the horses to the emperor and said to them with an expression: The emperor said that you have no strength to farm, officials can't control the people, fighting is not brave and useless, and you waste the country's food in vain; Ready to kill all of you freeloaders!
The dwarfs were so scared that they cried and begged him to help them. Dong Fangshuo thought for a moment and said, If the emperor passes by, it might help if you kneel down and beg for mercy.
After a while, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty passed by, and the dwarfs knelt down in unison, crying and shouting, "Forgive me.". Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty is puzzling. The dwarfs said: Dong Fangshuo said the emperor would kill us all! Hearing this, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty knew that Dong Fangshuo was up to something, so he asked him, "You scared the dwarfs to death. Why? " ?
Dong Fangshuo said confidently: Those dwarfs are only three feet long, but their wages are a bag of rice and 240 yuan. I'm 9' 3, and my salary is 240 yuan for a bag of rice. They are so hungry that their stomachs are bursting, but I am so hungry that my heart sticks to my back. If your majesty thinks my eloquence is still useful, let me eat first. If you think I'm useless, please fire me at once and save some rice for Chang 'an. Hearing this, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was overjoyed and immediately asked Dong Fangshuo to transfer from the "bus" to the Golden Horse Gate. In this way, Dong Fangshuo's income has increased, and the opportunities for contact with Emperor Wu have been significantly increased.
This is the well-known story of "Chang 'an Somi".
Dong Fangshuo used the fact that the dwarf is very different from himself in height, but enjoys the same salary to intimidate the dwarf and express his dissatisfaction. This contrast is very comic. Dong Fangshuo doesn't want officials or land. He just wants to fill his stomach. Lighthearted and humorous, with appropriate words, Hanwu laughed, and his dissatisfaction with Dong Fangshuo's "spoof" was resolved in his laughter.
Since then, this Dong Fangshuo has become more and more brave! Last time I was "blown by the sea", this time it is even more out of place. I found a group of extras to beg for food! Isn't he afraid and doesn't know how to reflect? Not exactly. Dong Fangshuo also made a profound review in front of civil and military officials. What's the status quo of the reviews of Oriental Style?
Third, review.
On a rainy day (a sacrifice day in the dog days), Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty issued a letter to reward the minister with fresh meat. Ministers came to the palace early and waited until the sun went down, but none of the officials in charge of meat sharing came. Everyone is waiting. Dong Fangshuo doesn't have such good self-control, so he cuts the meat when he draws his sword. As he cut, he said, I'm sorry, the heat wave is hitting people today, so I'll go first! Say that finish, he put a big piece of meat in his arms and swaggered away. The priest present was dumbfounded, watching Dong Fangshuo sweep away the meat.
The next day in court, the official in charge of meat told Emperor Wu about Dong Fangshuo's unauthorized cutting of meat. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty asked: Why did you cut the meat and run away without waiting for the meat officer to come? Dong Fangshuo immediately took off his hat and pleaded guilty. Emperor Wu pretended to be angry and said with a straight face, Sir, I won't feel guilty if I get up and make a self-criticism in public. Hearing this, Dong Fangshuo opened his mouth and said, "Dong Fangshuo, Dong Fangshuo, it is very rude for you to accept the gift without waiting for the emperor to share it!" ! How spectacular it is to draw the sword and cut the meat! Only cut a small piece, how clean! I don't eat at all. I give it to my wife. What a model of loving a wife! (new moon, new moon, it's rude not to give as a letter; How strong it is to draw a sword and cut meat; I didn't cut much, so He Lian went back to West County and He Ren! )
Dong Fangshuo's voice did not fall, and Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty had already bent over with laughter.
Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty gave Dong Fangshuo a stone of wine and a hundred Jin of meat, and asked him to go home and give it to his wife.
Where is this self-criticism? You are completely bragging! However, Emperor Wu was taken in. The imperial court is solemn, the officials are frightened, and Bolong is happy: the public is happy, and the Zhang Tang authorities are exhausted; Dong Fangshuo is the only one who dares to put on a show. Because he knew that everything was under his control, in order to please the emperor.
Dong Fangshuo's funny talent is at its peak. However, Dong Fangshuo's image as a "wise man" is the most talked about by later generations. This is the next story.
7.2 Knowledge serves wealth
Fourth, consultation.
The story of Dong Fangshuo's counselor was recorded for the first time in Historical Records? Slip Biography (G incarnation, ancient) in Chu Bu Zhuan. It turns out that since the spread of Historical Records, people have been making supplements, the most famous of which is Chu Bu Zhuan. Biography of Historical Records of Dong Fangshuo was supplemented by Chu Sun Shao.
According to Records of the Historian Chu Bu Zhuan, one day, a monster ran out of Chang 'an Zhangjian Palace, which looked like an elk. The news reached the palace and alarmed Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty. I also want to see where this uninvited guest came from and why. Emperor Wu remembered Dong Fangshuo and immediately ordered Mr. Dongfang to cover his eyes.
After reading it, Dong Fangshuo said confidently, I know what it is, but you must give me good wine and food, and let me have a full meal before I talk about it. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty immediately agreed. After drinking and eating, Dong Fangshuo didn't answer immediately. He said to Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty: There is a place with public fields, fish ponds and Puwei, which add up to several hectares. Please give me this place and I will answer your questions. Dong Fangshuo is pushing his luck, and Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty is eager to attack. Helpless, I had to send a message immediately: I can reward you. I told Dong Fangshuo to watch, and the new moon said, I know, and I am willing to give you wine and rice. This is my word. Zhao Yue: Yes. After that, he said, "There are several hectares of reeds in a fish pond in the public field. Your Majesty gave it to me, I said. " Zhao Yue: Yes. ) Dong Fangshuo, satiated with food and drink, was rewarded by the emperor. He can rely on it for the rest of his life. That's why he said slowly: this thing is called "Zi (Z is not u, Zou) tooth". Its teeth are all the same, arranged neatly like a horse, so it is called "teeth". If people from afar surrender to the big fellow, "fangs" will appear in advance.
More than a year later, the evil king of Xiongnu led hundreds of people to defect, and Emperor Wu of Han rewarded Dong Fangshuo again.
Originally, the emperor, as a courtier, had a will, so he should serve it immediately, without delay, or he would resist. However, Dong Fangshuo acted rashly and went his own way. He wanted to eat and drink, land and talk to Kan Kan when he was full.
Dong Fangshuo is really smart, and his wisdom and erudition are the capital for him to seek treatment from the emperor without scruple. It seems that Tessa's reputation is by no means a hollow reputation. Of course, we can also see the authenticity and uniqueness of Dong Fangshuo. He really knows what an emperor is and what value is. How can a gentleman, minister, father and son be so affectionate? It is the emperor who has the final say when receiving wages and dividing property. Only if you can serve the emperor can the emperor reward you; With the use value, we can get the value.
Dong Fangshuo felt at ease and exchanged knowledge for wealth, which showed his unique personality of despising Confucian "modest gentleman".
Besides, from the beginning to the end, we found that Dong Fangshuo's biggest alternative was its courage to accept it.
When the emperor asks for advice, officials are generally respectful and only answer questions; Who dares to compete to play big cards at this juncture? Dong Fangshuo, dare!
Why is Dong Fangshuo so bold?
First, Dong Fangshuo is completely sure to answer the emperor's question;
Second, Dong Fangshuo is fully capable of making the emperor smile when he is angry.
Grasping the emperor's psychology and taking the opportunity to do what he likes, which made Dong Fangshuo unique among many courtiers of Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty, and his intelligence was obviously superior. But as far as status is concerned, he seems to amuse the emperor full-time, just like an "excellent" and insignificant.
Now that you have a reputation for being tactful and rude, Dong Fangshuo is even more unscrupulous, eating, drinking and having fun. This "wife-loving model" also shocked the world with her view on marriage.
7.3 Happy to avoid the world in court.
Fifth, marriage.
"Historical Records" records: Take Chang 'an young woman, a good woman, abandon the wife who is one year younger and take a wife. Money is for women.
There are three iron laws for Dong Fangshuo to marry a wife: one is to marry a woman in Chang 'an, the other is to marry a little beauty (a good woman and a young woman), and the third is to change every year. All the money the emperor gave him was used to send away old beauties and marry new beauties.
His ministers don't like him. They all say that Dong Fangshuo is a "madman". Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty said: If Dong Fangshuo didn't have these problems, which one of you could catch up with him? The man is the madman who is half shouting around Zhu Lang. When the master heard this, he said, "If you ask Shuo to do nothing, he is a walker. Wait for peace? " ? )
In fact, even if men in feudal society had wives and concubines, others could not say that they didn't. They were tired of keeping them at home and there was no need for divorce. Dong Fangshuo is different. He is determined to let love exist. It seems that this "prodigal son in love" still knows how to cherish passion.
Sixth, be rewarded.
Dong Fangshuo received an unusual reward from the emperor.
The emperor gave food, even when some ministers retired at home in their later years, they bent down, bowed their heads and chewed slowly, respecting and fearing.
Dong Fangshuo doesn't have that many rules! In front of the emperor, he wolfed down, regardless of eating. After eating, throw away the leftover food. Unfortunately, Dong Fangshuo took off his clothes, put the greasy meat in his pocket and left with it. So, most of the time, Dong Fangshuo's clothes are dirty, and he doesn't care if others look at him coldly. The food was given to the former, and after the meal was finished, the rest of the meat was taken away, and the clothes were all dirty. Some people think that packaging is something that China people learn from foreigners. In fact, Dong Fangshuo was the first person to pack in China's history.
The emperor gave silks and silks, and Dong Fangshuo accepted them all and took them away, never giving in. These silks presented by the emperor were all used by Dong Fangshuo to marry beautiful women.
Dong Fangshuo is so different, but he is still deeply loved by Emperor Wu, which inevitably leads to the jealousy of his colleagues. Dong Fangshuo also has a strange skill to deal with jealousy.
Seventh, be jealous.
One day, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was playing in the palace. He put a gecko under the basin and asked the ministers to guess what it was, but no one could guess. Dong Fangshuo said: Call it a dragon, it has no horns; Call it a snake, but it has feet; Those who can climb the wall are either gecko or lizard. The emperor said: Good guess. He was rewarded with ten silks. Then let him guess something else. As a result, Dong Fangshuo was repeatedly guessed and won many awards.
Guo Sheren, another favorite of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, was not convinced and said loudly, You are right, but he didn't guess. I'll find something for him to guess. If he guessed, I'd rather get a hundred boards. If he didn't guess correctly, he asked the emperor to give me silk. Mr Guo found a leaf with fungus on the tree for Dong Fangshuo to guess and answer. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty immediately had Mr. Guo Sheren beaten a hundred boards, and Mr. Guo Sheren suffered a dumb loss.
When Dong Fangshuo saw Mr. Guo being beaten, he just stood aside and sneered.
Still unconvinced, Mr. Guo came up with a riddle and guessed again. They lamented that Dong Fangshuo was no longer cocky.
After this guessing game, all the ministers appreciated Dong Fangshuo, and Emperor Wu was very happy, so he promoted Dong Fangshuo to assistant minister.
However, the good times did not last long, and an unusual thing made Dong Fangshuo lose his job.
What is this?
On one occasion, Dong Fangshuo was drunk and spilled a bubble of urine on the emperor's court (first, the new moon tasted drunk in the temple, but stayed in the small hall); This time, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was really angry, and ordered Dong Fangshuo's official to be removed, leaving him only as the official department (illegal and disrespectful, there was a letter to Shu Ren, and the official department was waiting for him).
Someone asked Dong Fangshuo: People think you are crazy and mentally ill, right?
Dong Fangshuo said: I am just a hermit in the imperial court. The ancients went up the mountain to avoid the world. I am different. I am escaping from the world of North Korea. (new moon: such as new moon, etc. , the so-called living between the imperial court also. People in ancient times avoided the world in the mountains. )
According to Records of the Historian, at a banquet, Dong Fangshuo improvised a song: Shen Lu is secular, avoid the Golden Horse Gate, and you can avoid the world in the palace. Why bother to live in the mountains?
It means:
Drift with the world,
In a palace far from the world,
Palace can also avoid the world,
Why do I live in a cottage in the mountains?
This song is Dong Fangshuo's "Sitting at the table and singing on the ground", so the anthology of ancient poems after Ming and Qing Dynasties called this song "Songs on the ground".
Dong Fangshuo's "Seclusion in the Imperial Court" has been interpreted as "a small faint tomb, a big faint market" by Wang Kangju in the Jin Dynasty. Bai Juyi put forward the concept of "alto" in his poem "alto". In this way, there is a saying that "the small is hidden in the wild, the middle is hidden in the city, and the big is hidden in the DPRK".
Relying on the surrounding environment to forget the world is a bit hidden; Hiding in the street is hidden; Invisible in the ruling and opposition, is a huge hidden.
From entering the official career to getting along with Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, Dong Fangshuo was always different, because he never regarded the court as sacred. He didn't work in Chaotang with awe, but regarded Chaotang as a secluded place and got along with Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty in a teasing way.
Because the court is an isolated place, Dong Fangshuo just wants to live freely, happily, freely and truly.
But Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was not a philanthropist. Why does he tolerate his own otherness again and again?
There is only one answer: happiness!
Dong Fangshuo is not Dong Zhongshu. The three policies of heaven and man answered so many heavy questions. Dong Fangshuo is not Ji 'an. If you don't wear a good hat, he will give you trouble. Dong Fangshuo made Emperor Wu feel happy no matter what he did! He wrote a cover letter and read it directly in Hanwu; He compared himself to a dwarf, just for a raise; Why didn't Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty want such a person? Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty needs not only Dong Zhongshu, Ji An and Wei Qing who have made great achievements, but also Dong Fangshuo who can make him enjoy it all day.
Although we can't understand Dong Fangshuo with the existing values, we can't help asking: Is Dong Fangshuo really "hiding in North Korea"? Which of his words didn't start with the emperor's pulse? He was full of lies as soon as he appeared. Did he come out of thin air? What's strange about him peeing? If there are many "hypocrites" in officialdom, then Dong Fangshuo is more like a "pseudo-villain". Emperor Wu was happy, but was Dong Fangshuo happy? Is he willing to be a buffoon because he is full of books? He went through a lot of hardships and entered the DPRK as an official. Just for food and clothing?