This is a difficult problem, but it is also a problem that every class teacher, teacher and parent must face. For this problem, perhaps we need not only the guidance of methods, but also the change of ideas.
65438+1On the afternoon of October 8th, in Jincheng No.1 Middle School Tea Bar, the second class teacher salon was held as scheduled. Last year 165438+1October16, we held the first class teacher salon here. The response was enthusiastic and many young class teachers were encouraged. This gives us the motivation to continue this activity.
Compared with the relatively scattered discussion in the first salon, there is only one problem in this salon. How to deal with adolescent love?
The psychological center of Jincheng No.1 Middle School counts hundreds of counseling cases every year, and finds that the biggest headache for students is not the study pressure, but the relationship between classmates. There should be a considerable proportion of heterosexual relationships. With the development of economy, society is becoming more and more open, and campus love is also expanding. How to face and deal with students' puppy love should be a compulsory course for every class teacher.
How to treat puppy love
Before answering how to deal with "puppy love", the first question to be solved is, how to treat "puppy love"?
Many teachers present expounded their views. Teacher Nie Huiming said that love is normal. Don't be nervous when you hear that students are in love, and regard it as a scourge. Teacher Liang said that there is nothing wrong with adolescent love itself and it should be treated correctly.
Nowadays, most class teachers are tolerant and understanding of students' love. It is human nature that adolescent students like another person and long for love and being loved. It is a normal and beautiful thing, and beautiful feelings should not be demonized.
However, parents and teachers are worried about puppy love. At the salon, Teacher Yang Li said that parents and teachers are not worried about "love" itself, but the uncertain future and future it brings.
From the head teacher's point of view, we are worried about puppy love, because it will affect our study. In addition, the indulgence of puppy love may create a bad atmosphere in the class, leading to puppy love out of control.
At the salon, Teacher Song Yulai told the story that a pair of classmates who were in love were admitted to a prestigious school, which triggered a discussion. It is of course the best ending for two people to make up for each other, support each other, work together and make progress together. But if there are positive examples, there must be negative examples. Love comes at a price. There are not only time costs, but also emotional and emotional costs, as well as the costs of protection from harm and self-protection. We are worried about the uncertain consequences of all this.
As teacher Chang lamented, as teachers, we certainly understand students' puppy love. But the college entrance examination is a sword hanging over the head of every student, even a sword hanging over the head of a family. The college entrance examination is not allowed to fail, and all factors that may affect the college entrance examination should be vigilant. The consequences of students not falling in love may be tolerable, but we can't bear the consequences of students failing in the college entrance examination.
This is the pressure from parents that the class teacher has to face, and it is also the dilemma of the class teacher. Even the most enlightened class teacher can't ignore this point.
Some students said that although there were fewer detours, they also missed the scenery.
You can enjoy the missed scenery later, but you can't take the detours. As class teachers, we understand and respect students' emotions, but this does not mean support and approval.
In such a dilemma, how to do something and not do something tests the wisdom of a class teacher.
How to be a class teacher?
For students' puppy love, the traditional method of "chasing and blocking" has been proved to be unworkable and dangerous. What the class teacher needs to do is not to support and oppose the choice of positions by both sides, but to guide students to communicate.
At this salon, several class teachers also shared their own practices.
Teacher Nie Huiming said that there are many kinds of puppy love, and the reasons leading to puppy love are different, some of them follow the trend; Have a plenty of booing puppy love; Some are game-style puppy love; Some are compensatory puppy love caused by parents' insufficient attention or strict management. For students' puppy love, the class teacher should not force it, but analyze the reasons and take different ways to deal with it. Some students are rebellious, and the more points, the better. Instead, arrange them to sit at the same table, and they may be separated in a few weeks.
Teacher Liang said that parents should not tell the problem of puppy love easily, otherwise things are likely to get out of control. Most parents' involvement in puppy love is intensifying contradictions. If the matter is serious enough, you must inform your parents, and you must do your parents' work well in advance to avoid excessive behavior of both parents.
Teacher Song Yulai shared a unique point of view. He said that I have always adhered to a practice that class cadres must never fall in love. I found that the class cadres are the first to fall in love, because class cadres are generally more attractive, but falling in love with class cadres will cause bad guidance to the class. Therefore, before choosing class cadres, I will agree with students in advance that class cadres can't fall in love. This may not be effective, but it is an invisible constraint, constraint and convergence for students. In addition, in love relationships, people who generally have a dominant relationship should know who is the focus of both men and women and make a precise breakthrough.
Teacher Yan Qing of the psychological center department said that we must respect the feelings between students. Whether it is blind, temporary, or even not serious, we can't just satirize and attack. Never speak ill of each other in front of students.
Teacher Zhang, who has many years of working experience as a class teacher, said that it is not easy for a class teacher to do a good job. It is full of confusion and struggle. Many times you think you have succeeded in persuading students, but it is not. Puppy love among students may have gone underground. The head teacher must be clear-headed. You can't control children's feelings, but you can only influence them. It takes a long time to guide them. In this regard, we must treat them gently.
The director of the academic affairs office often concludes that we don't approve of students falling in love, and we also respect students' feelings. However, students' intimate behavior in public places must be stopped, otherwise it is the teacher's dereliction of duty, which is our bottom line.
As educator Wang Xiaochun said, understanding is not equal to support, tolerance is not equal to approval, retreat is not equal to retreat, whether or not it is not equal to connivance.
At the end of the event, Vice President Zhang Jianguo delivered a speech. President Zhang said that the work of the head teacher is a career worthy of your life. I hope the head teacher loves this job and is full of responsibility and love. There are many skills to educate students, but the most important skills are sincerity and love. Students feel your sincerity and love and are willing to trust you, which is the premise of education. We should be able to think from the perspective of students, so many problems will no longer be problems. Treat all problems as opportunities for progress, keep learning, take the initiative to improve yourself and realize your value on the stage of education!
Good love is a window that allows us to see better scenery; Bad love is a wall that closes our other possibilities. So is a good education. It helps students become better people, more caring, gentler, more independent, with greater ambitions and a broader future. I hope that parents, teachers and students can have goodwill and understanding, respect each other, fulfill each other and jointly build the most beautiful educational scenery.