1. Pay attention to what others say
When talking with others, patients often ignore what others say, but focus on their own anxiety and whether others notice their anxiety, which will make the conversation not smooth and make the patient's performance worse. Therefore, it is worthy of attention that patients with social phobia pay attention to the actual content of what others say and ignore their own subjective imagination. Please imagine that if someone is talking to you, but at this moment you only think about your anxiety and think that the other person also sees your anxiety, will you ignore the conversation? You know, your anxiety at this time doesn't help the conversation at all, so all you have to do is pay attention to the other person's conversation and don't let anxiety affect your interpersonal communication.
Don't guess what others think of you.
When others are present, you feel uncomfortable, which is probably because you are speculating about what others think of you, and most of these opinions you speculate are negative.
For example, when your palms are sweating because of nervousness, you will feel that others must have seen your nervousness from your expression or behavior and will despise you for it, but in fact, most people have been nervous in public, and they will not give you negative comments for it.
When you are talking, you see two people whispering. You think they must be talking about your mistakes and finding fault with you, but in fact, they may be discussing your speech and expressing their views on it.
When you drink at a party and see someone smiling at you, you think he is laughing at you, but in fact, he may be friendly to you or praising your elegant manners.
Therefore, please don't speculate on others' evaluation of yourself, and don't let your wrong imagination affect your social activities.
Remember, your thoughts don't represent others' thoughts, so you can't be sure what others think of you. And if you have social phobia, your guess will definitely be much worse than the actual situation, which will only aggravate your anxiety. In that case, why bother?
Look for positive reactions from others.
Undeniably, people with social phobia are more sensitive to negative expressions of others. As long as it is in social activities, patients are always used to looking for negative expressions on other people's faces as feedback for their bad behavior, thus making themselves more nervous in social activities. In fact, patients can seek positive feedback from others.
For example, if you smile, others will smile back, indicating that the other party is not hostile to you. You can try to start a conversation, starting with talking about each other's clothes or any small thing you observe, and you will find that it is not so difficult to talk to others in public.
4. Think back to the positive experience in social activities.
After-the-fact analysis is a job that almost everyone with social phobia will do. They feel that by analyzing their social performance and recalling their mistakes, they can learn a lesson and avoid making mistakes again.
But in fact, the process of recalling their mistakes will bring anxiety to patients and make them feel that they are social failures. Only when patients recall their positive experiences in social activities can they increase their courage to participate in social activities and affirm themselves. Therefore, after you take part in a social activity, please remember your good performance and try to do better next time.
Overcoming social phobia requires not only courage but also self-confidence. Please encourage yourself, affirm yourself and let yourself have the courage and confidence to face difficulties and challenges.
If your illness is too serious to adjust yourself, I suggest you seek the help of a professional psychologist. Jon Psychology is a good choice in psychological counseling.
Jon Medical has introduced a large number of excellent experts from top three hospitals, relying on strong expert resources Jon psychological diagnosis and treatment technology to maintain the top level in China and provide patients with comprehensive and accurate diagnosis and treatment programs; At present, dozens of well-known experts and professors in psychiatry practice consultation in Jon, which is also a multi-point practice consultation unit for public famous doctors. At the same time, Jon has gathered more than 100 top psychological counselors in various fields and industries, covering the first batch of psychological counselors in China, as well as psychological counseling talents from top psychological universities at home and abroad and overseas doctors. Moreover, most psychological counselors have overseas study background, and the counselors are all national qualification psychological certificates. Every doctor fully listens to and respects patients' demands, and gives each patient 30-60 minutes of one-on-one service from consultation to interpretation of examination reports.