This year, I made a decision that surprised my family and friends around me-to become an older youth drifting north.
When writing my resume, I reviewed all my previous experiences, from study to work. The more I write, the more exciting I feel, so I want to write it down and share one or two. Maybe the experience is not typical, but at least you can look at it when life is not smooth.
First, let me introduce myself. I am an ordinary disabled person, ordinary enough to be put into the crowd, such as dripping into the sea. I have a congenital eye disease, and my world has been different from others since I was a child. Of course, this difference is not only in the eyes of a healthy person, but also in my eyes. Who knows! But obviously this difference has changed my life.
When I entered primary school, I became a special element in the legend and the object of preferential treatment. Because I went to a primary school where healthy children went, the teacher asked other students to take care of me since I went to school. So that I may be the first beneficiary of all the benefits, and almost all the children will help me when I am in trouble (it is a miracle that I have never experienced bullying on campus in retrospect). In class, I can go to the podium and read the words written by the teacher on the blackboard; I can also use my "advantage" to reduce the teacher's punishment when I am in trouble. Of course, all this comes at a price (guess what? )。 In this way, I went to middle school smoothly.
Middle school is a time when all students love and hate each other, because at that time there are endless homework and endless situations. Students mediate between nature and secularity, trying to find a balance, and I am no exception. In middle school, I still enjoy superior resources and can sit in the middle of the first row of the classroom, but correspondingly, the expectations of teachers will increase. I need to make more efforts than ordinary people to "repay" this expectation with my grades and prove that my ability is worthy of such treatment. Fortunately, I did it. Although I am not one of the best students in my class, I am still worthy of the treatment I received.
The college entrance examination is an insurmountable hurdle for any family. Because it determines the future of every child in China, no one can escape fate.
With my academic achievements and physical conditions at that time, first-class universities and popular majors were all beautiful fantasies for me. Therefore, my college entrance examination volunteer has already become the first place for teachers and parents to plan my life. At that time, several universities in China accepted visually impaired people, but their major was single, except acupuncture and massage, which was piano tuning. Teachers and parents have repeatedly advised me to give up the college entrance examination and take separate exams organized by them. Because I was studying at that time, it was easy to pass the exam and would not be limited by vision problems. But as a warm-blooded teenager, I don't want to do this: since I chose to study with healthy people, I certainly have the right to make a choice for my future career. Even though there were many obstacles, I resolutely chose to take the national unified examination and was admitted to an ordinary university in the province to study Chinese language and literature.
If you think life can be as calm as a calm lake, it will definitely give you a punch when you are most proud. After entering the university, I was shocked to find that all the benefits and privileges I was proud of no longer existed. I can't reach for what I want like a child anymore. I need to face all the pressure of life and the special concern of the society for the disabled alone. All these seem to tell me that your decision is wrong, you don't belong here, go back where you should go! My freshman year was very painful. I questioned my decision more than once, but I didn't have the courage to go back to the original point and start over. So I tried my best to convince myself to be strong. I don't believe this situation will last long. I believe there will be a rainbow after the storm.
After a year's running-in, I gradually got used to the rhythm of college and accepted those unfriendly words and behaviors. I was lucky enough to meet several very kind teachers and friends. They gave me a lot of help in my study and life, which enabled me to successfully complete my four-year college studies.
As graduation approaches, another problem arises: what can I do for a visually impaired person who has not learned massage according to the rules? The characteristics of literature major make it very suitable for the industry, but it is precisely because of this characteristic that anyone can do a lot of work, and I simply do not have the competitiveness of this advantage. Therefore, even if you have a CET-4 teacher qualification certificate and a Putonghua certificate, you will still be ruthlessly rejected by the interview unit, and the reason is ridiculous and irrefutable-the image is not good. After all, this is an era of eating by face, and it is my fault that my image is not good! So I have to consider studying acupuncture and massage again to adapt to the real world.
It happened that in the same year that I graduated, there were also schools in China that enrolled master students in acupuncture and massage for the visually impaired. After contacting the school for approval, I decided to apply for an interdisciplinary examination. It is not easy to learn Chinese medicine across disciplines. I prepared for one year and three months and took the exam twice. For the first time, due to insufficient preparation, the initial test failed. The next year, I made a comeback. Fortunately, after experiencing twists and turns, I was qualified for the second interview.
I remember watching Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump's mother once said to Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get." When I opened this chocolate candy with joy, I found my chocolate expired! The questions asked by the teacher during the second interview were all about my work background: Have you studied acupuncture and massage before, and have you received internship training? Can you be competent for the learning tasks of master students and so on. From the moment I walked out of the examination room, I expected the result of the second interview. And the facts just confirmed my judgment. At that time, I was thinking that the reason why China's education was criticized was that the examination was too serious and the cultivation of students' all-round ability was neglected. But when I got this exam-oriented ticket, the teacher told me that you must have a professional background, and we don't need an inexperienced whiteboard. Either you break your previous achievements and start from scratch, or please stay away from the master's degree that doesn't belong to you!
Every stage of life will experience choices, and I have just reached the origin of this choice. Past failures have taught me a lot: maybe I made a wrong choice in the college entrance examination. If I had listened to the persuasion of my family and teachers, I might not be like this now. But the direction pointed out by others is their thoughts after all, just as I thought I would succeed and fail. In that case, why can't I choose what I really like? Even if there are thorns ahead, even if I may give up halfway, I will at least smile when I die like that!
After a short rest, I picked up my original dream-psychology again, and I was lucky enough to get the guidance of many teachers. I want to thank Mr. Jiang in particular. He encouraged me when I needed support most, and let me study with him, discuss cases together, organize lectures and accept supervision. After a year of study and precipitation, I have changed from a pure enthusiast to a new professional. This experience gave me the courage to go out and embrace this place that most young people hate, but they are eager to start a new life here. Maybe now I am not enough to support my dream with strength, but at least, I have the possibility to realize my dream.
Tomorrow, the first scene after drifting north will be auditioned. Whatever the result, I won't be surprised. I have experienced too many disappointments. How many times?
Gao once said: Life is not only the immediate things, but also poems and distant fields. But I want to say that even without poetry and distance, life can't be miserable. When you are trampled by fate 1000 times, look up and realize that you are still alive, then you have a chance to turn over!
Xiaoqi was in Beijing on March 7, 1965.
Egg manager: I was surprised that someone suddenly wanted to contribute. I also thought without thinking that impetuous urban figures like you and me were vying for fame and fortune, but the more I watched it, the more scared I became, and even awakened the pain and stories I forgot in the corner.
The first thing I want to say after receiving this writing energy is that it may be inspired by the oil workers who resolutely came to Beijing to drift north a few days ago-energy can really be transmitted, and one story after another touched not only the author himself, but also the people in our dying box.
When reading this article, it reminds me of the ruthlessness and hardness of China's education system. As a person who has attended high school twice, I know more about the pain brought by exam-oriented education. This is also related to Shi Tiesheng. When his spirit was the poorest, writers like Shi Tiesheng and Lu Yao pulled themselves out of the negative quagmire-don't ask why, just live. When you think like this, everything is inexplicable happiness, so silly happiness is better than really negative.
The author may face the criticism of the more ruthless eyes of society. Yes, there are no idlers in Beijing. Everyone is trained to be too sad and bemoaned to fight again. But these are your choices and blame, which have nothing to do with others, society and the world. Living is really lonely after all-no matter what kind of family you are born in, so in the end you find that you are living for yourself. When you are in live high, experience this short life first, because you won't understand after all.
What are you going to say? Yes, I don't believe in messy party spirit and doctrine. I only believe these two words. People are willing to give up when they are alive. You are constantly choosing, choosing. As long as you live and follow your heart, it is not necessarily a bad thing. -inexplicably thought of brother sharp's chic, and later was disturbed by secular idiots. His life was not very good before. Anyway, no matter whether you make a choice or not, you are experiencing the erosion of time, and you are constantly willing to give up. Just find your own direction, or you don't need to find any direction at all. It is just a simple sentence "Just live", just remember. Best wishes.