Here is the funny spirit (1). A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start? Patient: Because I am a bird. (2) A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears? The patient replied, then I can't hear you. The doctor listened: mm-hmm. This is normal. The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again? The patient replied, then I won't watch it. The doctor began to get nervous: how could it not be seen? The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off. (3) There are two mental patients who escaped from the hospital. They ran and climbed a tree. One of them jumped from the tree and rolled and rolled. Then he looked up and said to the man above, Hey … Why don't you come down …? The man above answered him: No … Well … Ah … I'm not familiar with it yet … (4) There is an old lady in a mental hospital, wearing black clothes and wearing a black umbrella every day, squatting at the gate of the mental hospital. The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her. So the doctor also wore black clothes, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her. The two men were silent for a month. The old lady finally said to the doctor, excuse me ... are you a mushroom, too? (5) A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called a meeting of the patients in the hospital. At the meeting, the dean said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and all the people will go to the door to meet them. When welcoming, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. When I cough, everyone clap their hands together, the more enthusiastic the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, we can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will eat steamed buns, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!" This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he walked into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. As the hospital president coughed, all the patients applauded together and the atmosphere was very warm. Infected by the warm atmosphere, the visiting leaders smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only the leader is still smiling and clapping his hands, and the dean is very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "You don't want to eat steamed bread? ! ! ! "6) Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office and went back to the ward. Ask B, "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?" ? B looked at it and replied, "Yes, yes. However, there are just a few more roles. " Then the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me! (8) Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other one will take him to the hospital at once. "Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It was Mr. A:" Oh, no, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning, saying that he is my toilet. " "Come on, send him quickly! A gentleman was silent for a moment. "So?" ... I don't have a toilet? In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day. One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?" The mental patient suddenly jumped up and cried, "What's the matter with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? " (10) There is a mental hospital where many people with mental disorders live. One day, the dean was there, and in order to see the patient's recovery, he thought of a way. He told these patients to come here and drew a door on the wall, saying, "Today, whoever opens this door can go home." Hearing this, psychopaths flocked around the painted door, and the dean was very disappointed. At this time, he found a patient still sitting in his original position, feeling ok, so he went forward and asked, "Why don't you open the door?" "He looked at the dean, said a words, dean in distress situation after listening to. The patient secretly told the dean, "I have the key here." "(1 1) Mental patients in hospitals often have a good impression on doctors or nurses. One day, a female patient came to see a male doctor ... Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you love me? Dr. Lan pondered for a long time. Dr. Lan: We have a doctor-patient relationship. Because you are ill, I must take good care of you ... (In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Lan explained for a long time and finally finished. ) Female patient: Dr. Lan, are you saying that you don't love me anymore? Dr. Lan (brooding): Hmm ... hmm (expressing hesitation, etc.) ... Female patient: Nothing ... I love Dr. Chen ... (12) The new nurse in the mental hospital. This woman is new here. She saw a patient in the hospital wandering around an ancient well and said, "13." She always wanted to go forward and ask the truth, but she was afraid of the patient's attack and never dared. One day, the little nurse finally lost her curiosity, walked slowly to the patient and looked into the well with her probe. Suddenly, the patient hugged the nurse's leg, threw it down and began to read: "14, 14, 14, ..." (13) A patient shouted: I am the dean, you all have to listen to me! ! ! The attending doctor and nurse asked him: Who said that? He replied: God said. At this moment, a patient suddenly jumped out and said, I didn't say that! (14) A patient went to see a doctor for the first time. "Did you consult anyone about your illness before you came here?" The doctor asked. "Just ask the owner of the drugstore around the corner," the patient replied. Doctors hate that people who are not doctors often give medical advice. He made no secret of this: "What bad idea did that fool give you?" ""He asked me to come to you. "(15) In a mental hospital, a patient was writing a letter. When the nurse saw it, she asked him curiously. Nurse: Who are you going to write to? Patient: Write it to myself! Nurse: Then what do you write? Patient: You are mentally ill! I haven't received it. How did I know (16) from Wang Duokun (whose name is really complicated) that there was a mental derangement. I don't know where I got a pistol. He is walking in a black alley. Suddenly I met a young man. Without saying anything, the psycho pressed him to the ground and pointed a gun at his head! Question: What is 1+ 1=? The young man was frightened! Meditation for a long time ~ trembling answer: equal to 2 ```? That psycho shot him without hesitation! Then I pulled the gun in my arms and said coldly, you know too much.