But it is this enviable "other people's children" who stumbled when looking for a job after graduation. His beautiful resume won him many interview opportunities, but strangely, every time he passed this level, he was ruthlessly brushed off. He transferred to the civil service, ranking first in the written test, but at the bottom after the interview.
The successive blows made Xiaoli lose confidence, so she indulged in the internet every day and stayed at home for two years.
Anxious mother whispered in his ear every day to find a job. Finally, one day, the unbearable compulsion broke out and kicked my mother away. "All my results are caused by you! You only let me study, don't let me make friends ... Look at yourself, who do you handle well? "
After listening to these words, Xiaoli's mother is also very wronged. In order to give Xiaoli a good learning environment, their family specially came to Ningbo to rent a house, so as not to let Xiaoli play with other children, for fear of affecting her grades. Personally, I really don't talk to Xiaoli's father, and I don't have a good relationship with my relatives around me. Often quarrel, but what does this have to do with Xiaoli?
She still doesn't understand what the problem is. She said: "My son is obviously excellent. There must be no acquaintances in the employer. If someone introduces him, then there is no problem. "
Wen Wen (a pseudonym) is 30 years old this year. When she was young, her mother quit her job, sent her to school, accompanied her to extracurricular classes, and took care of her daily life. She has nothing to worry about except reading. Thanks to her mother's efforts, she achieved excellent results in literature and art, and found a good job after graduation, but on the rest day, she stayed at home and never saw her boyfriend.
Like many parents, Wenwen's parents began to worry about her marriage and tried to make Wenwen blind date, but they were worried that their daughter was too simple and always chose to accompany her. Although Wen Wen has got a driver's license, her father still insists on taking his daughter to the appointed place by electric car.
When dating, Wen Wen, who is unsociable, always feels that she has nothing to say to each other. After a few words, the conversation ended. The atmosphere was once very embarrassing. When her parents asked her how she felt about boys, she couldn't say it. She doesn't even know what kind of person she is looking for.
Coincidentally, Xiao Tong (a pseudonym) is also an excellent girl. She is beautiful, knows life, has a good job and a good girlfriend, but she is still alone at the age of 30. She refused all the good men around her, and once someone conveyed that she liked him, she even made a move to draw a line. She was also forced to kiss, but she was very disgusted with it. Men find topics and ask about her work and personal situation, which is considered by her as interrogation and a measure of goods.
It turns out that Xiao Tong, who grew up in a single-parent family, was instilled with the consciousness that "if you don't pay attention to boys, boys will bully you" and "as long as you study hard, nothing else matters" from an early age, which directly led her to deliberately avoid contact with men, even though she has reached the age of contact.
Expert advice:
"In fact, their performance is a social obstacle. The root cause comes from the growth environment. " Luo Hongyuan, national second-class psychological counselor and social worker. She has been doing emotional counseling for 8 years. It is not uncommon for her to encounter similar cases in Ningbo. These parents have worked hard to raise their children and cultivate talents. When it comes to "picking fruit", they have to swallow the bitter fruit brought by reality. "Many parents only know how to make money and give their children the best learning conditions and living security. What they value most is their children's academic performance, but they ignore that interpersonal skills are more important after entering the society. "
Luo Hongyuan believes that people are born in relationships from the moment they are born, and psychological confusion is mostly interpersonal problems, and the source of the problems lies in the family system, the unique emotional atmosphere of the family and the communication methods of family members.