Previously, I was a civil servant in the county, living a nine-to-five life every day, sitting idly in my office, "a cup of tea, a cigarette and a newspaper, reading for half a day." That stagnant life makes me miserable. At the age of 28, I have been able to foresee my life at the age of 82. Life here is the same every day, so I decided to leave.

One month before leaving the county seat, I couldn't sleep at night. Almost every night, I go for a walk in a newly opened street in the county. At dusk, the street is very noisy and there are no shops. On the open space on both sides of the street, there are a bunch of karaoke singers every few tens of meters. Those high-pitched songs ripple in the vast sky of the county, often causing the surrounding dogs to bark and echo each other. In the middle of the night, this street will be empty, and I am often the only one wandering here. The street lamp dragged my figure for a long time and became very short. Occasionally there are frogs and birds on the roadside, which will cross the silent night sky like glass, making people feel numb.

After a month's hesitation, I finally made up my mind to leave this small county and see the outside world. However, at that time, I didn't know what I could do or whether I could find a job.

10 years ago today, I only had 200 yuan money on me and set foot on a long-distance bus to the provincial capital. This is all my savings.

I have worked in that small county for five years, and my savings for five years are only 6000 yuan. However, not long ago, my father, who was a farmer, fell ill. He not only spent all my savings, but also borrowed tens of thousands of yuan. Tens of thousands of dollars of foreign debt, according to my salary standard at that time, was enough for me to pay back in my life.

I left my hometown with the dream of panning for gold. At that moment, I really felt "the wind is rustling and the water is cool". I know I'll never come back after I go out. After I went out, I knew I had to succeed. I'm already in no way back.

The broken long-distance bus carried me and a simple hometown with sweaty feet, and left my hometown step by step. I looked back at the smaller and smaller county, looked back at the silent village, and my eyes were hazy.

This is unpredictable.

That evening, the coach left me at the railway station.

It's noisy in the train station every day, and people are like a note. Almost every mouth is talking, and those who don't talk are eating. The open space in the square in front of the station is full of people, and people who give people away by car rush through the cracks of these people. Every pair of eyes is full of doubt and alert. Bare-chested men with dragons, tigers and white tigers tattooed on their bodies, as well as women with suspenders and wobbly breasts, flashed in the crowd from time to time. A lame beggar with a broken bowl; A boy in shock and rags; Pot-bellied, arrogant imitation of big money; Migrant workers with broken hats and snakeskin bags ... the railway station is the most complicated place in a city and the most chaotic place in a city. People of all kinds, such as Americans, wrap their thoughts tightly, everyone compresses their bodies to a minimum, and everyone regards each other as enemies.

That night, I was hungry, sitting on the steps near the train station, my ears buzzing, and the sound of car engines and people's voices turned my ears into a pot of sticky porridge. I clearly remember a scene and a line in the TV series Beijingers in new york: Wang Qiming and his wife came to the United States. They looked at the bustling crowd at the airport and whispered, "We fell into the sea." At that moment, I really felt like I had fallen into the sea, helpless and unable to catch a straw. Moreover, in the following week, this feeling became stronger and stronger.

I am not familiar with this city at all. I don't know where I should go and where I can get a job opportunity. I am full of fear of this strange city. Watching migrant workers play poker with snakeskin bags, I feel that they are much happier than me. They have companions who can jointly resist the wind and rain outside, and I can only fight alone; No one knows my grievances, and tears can only flow into my stomach. In those days, I always wanted to cry.

That night, like many migrant workers, I slept in the square outside the station. There are some elderly women loitering in the square. They sell a lot of old newspapers at a price of 20 cents each. Migrant workers bought two newspapers, spread them on the ground and lay on them. I bought two, too, and laid them under my body like them. I hold a small black bag tightly to my chest, which contains my diploma, award-winning certificate and two published books. This is the capital of my dream to stand in this city.

My city life began in the railway station square.

I hardly slept a wink that night. After midnight, the noise of the city gradually quieted down, but my heart was overwhelming. I don't know what my future life will be like, and I don't know if I can survive in this city. What if I can't live any longer? I remembered my childhood and adolescence, I was poor, I struggled, I remembered all kinds of unfair treatment and hardships I had suffered before, and I told myself that even if I died, I would never return to that small county.

At dawn, it suddenly began to rain heavily, and the square was full of shouts. People got up, dragging broken newspapers in their hands, and rushed to the eaves of shops to hide from the rain. The noisy scene lasted until dawn.

After dawn, I began to look for a job. I don't know where I should go. I saw a bus coming. Many people came running, and I ran to get on the bus. I don't know where this bus is going, and I don't know what is waiting for me ahead.

I didn't eat, but I didn't feel hungry. During the days when I came to the provincial capital, I only ate two baked wheat cakes every day. At that time, one baked wheat cake cost two cents, and two baked wheat cakes cost four cents. I spent 40 cents in the initial stage of working in this strange city, so that my life could continue.

The bus swayed all the way, passing through tall buildings with glass windows, so high that I have never seen it; Crossing a straight and wide road, the roadside is well-dressed city people; Through the city. The bus stopped and reached the terminal. The last one got off the bus and found that it was already in the suburbs. Many days later, I realized that it was the southern suburbs, and there were many vegetable farmers living in this city.

To live in this city, you must first have a stable residence. I walked into those narrow lanes and everyone asked if there was a house for rent. My crooked Mandarin puzzled these landlords. They waved their arms and drove me away like a fly. Finally, I found a friendly landlord, but he asked me to pay one month's rent in advance, more than 100 yuan. I only have 200 yuan on me. If I pay the rent, I don't even have the money to eat and take the bus. I have to give up.

I wandered aimlessly in the street, like a stray dog. I envy everyone who passes by. Their footsteps lead to the direction of family or work. Somewhere, there is a relative or a job waiting for them. I don't know where I'm going. I have nothing.

Near noon, I saw a hotel, a small hotel, with red paint handwriting left by the Cultural Revolution at the door. On the one hand, it is an "innocent revolution" and on the other hand, it is a "just rebellion". There is an unknown tree at the door, and the sun shines on the treetops, scattering spots all over the floor. A man in his twenties sat lazily on a cane chair at the door, squinting at people passing by in the alley. He is the owner of this hotel.

I'm staying in this hotel, sleeping in the upper bunk, 5 yuan a night. This is the last time I saw a living bed. From one side of the room to the other, there is a long big bed. There are seven or eight people in my bed: a few very old people, a blind man and two young people in their twenties. Later, I learned that these old people are rag collectors, blind people are fortune tellers, and even a young man is a novice thief. They always go out at midnight and come back at dawn.

There is a map on the wall in front of the hotel registration office. It is me and a thief who often look at maps. The thief said he was a taxi driver and wanted to know the roads in this city. I am looking for a job opportunity.

For the next few days, I groped around the hard walls of this city like a headless fly. I looked for primary schools, waste companies, restaurants ... All these units rejected me without exception.

One day, I saw a "recruitment notice" left by a hotel guest in a tabloid. That's a cultural communication company looking for a clerk. The company is in the eastern suburbs. I walked out of the hotel without hesitation.

At that time, the bus in the provincial capital got on for one yuan. In order to save this dollar, I ran behind the bus for the money of these five cookies. I ran panting, many passers-by looked at me curiously, and the traffic police ran after me. After running for dozens of meters, I stopped without seeing anything.

After running for an hour, I was hot and thirsty. There is a faucet by the roadside, and some women are washing clothes. I ran over, forgot my embarrassment and gave him a drink. Then, keep running.

It was already noon when I ran to the eastern suburbs. I was received by a person. After listening to my introduction, he said regretfully, "You don't know what kind of people we need. You are excellent, but unfortunately we don't need them here. I suggest you go to the newspaper. " However, I had just come out of a small county and felt that the threshold of a newspaper office was too high to step in.

About the seventh day I came to the provincial capital, I went to the exhibition hall near the city wall, where a job fair for college graduates was being held. It was already afternoon when I went, and there were still many people in the exhibition hall. I came here by mistake.

Those candidates are all fresh graduates from university. They are bright and clean, neatly dressed, with childish smiles and newly grown moustaches on their faces, and they are enviably young. After graduating from college for several years, my social experience has made my mind vicissitudes and my forehead has shallow wrinkles. I saw that the job advertisements hanging above the counter were all for science students. I am a graduate of Chinese Department of University, an old graduate. I am extremely lacking in self-confidence, clumsy, slovenly, timid and afraid. Who would want it?

I sat on the steps leading to the top floor of the exhibition hall until dusk. When all the people in the exhibition hall were empty, I hesitated to walk down the steps. I still don't know where to go Because I haven't eaten for a day, my throat is dry and dumb, and it hurts. I saw half a bottle of unfinished mineral water next to an exhibition seat. I took it and poured it all into my stomach. Later, I worked in the city and met those scavengers. They found the mineral water bottle they hadn't finished drinking, emptied the water and put only the empty bottle in their pockets. They don't drink the rest of the mineral water when others drink it. It's too unclean. And I didn't think of this at that time, and I didn't think that the owner of this mineral water would have an infectious disease.

At dusk, I walked out of the exhibition hall and came to the square across the road. Some couples are whispering, some children are laughing and flying kites, and some old people are taking a leisurely walk. This is the standard scene of city life, but it doesn't belong to me. On both sides of the square are restaurants. I saw the fat chef in a white coat banging on the fried ladle at the door of the restaurant, and the flames reflected their sweaty faces; The dining table is full of diners, who are laughing and happy. However, none of this belongs to me. Like a stone, I was thrown in this city, and no one cared about me.

Tired of standing, I want to sit down, pick up a newspaper by the garden and spread it under my ass. I'm hungry, my stomach is twisted and I have bouts of pain. However, in this downtown area, there are no cookies that I can only afford. Every dish here costs tens of yuan, which I can't afford.

In order to eliminate hunger and distract my attention, I picked up the newspaper under my ass and read it. Suddenly I saw an advertisement under the newspaper, looking for a 10 reporter. I remembered what the handsome guy in the cultural communication company said. Maybe I'm really fit to be a reporter.

I took this newspaper and got on the bus back to the hotel. I decided to apply for a job in this newspaper tomorrow morning.

I got up early the next morning. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I sprinkled water on my hair in front of the twisted mirror at the entrance of the hotel and made a three-point hairstyle with my fingers. I checked the map posted for many years and set off.

At that time, there were few pedestrians on the street. The street was covered with dust by the sweeper's broom and the wheels of the car, and my carefully designed hairstyle was quickly stained, which made me feel distressed for a long time and worried that I would be rejected by the newspaper because of my bad looks. For a week in a row, lack of food and exposure to the hot sun made me an African refugee.

Walking into the city gate, I got lost and asked some aunts who played Tai Chi before I found this newspaper. The newspaper just started working, and a very young man received me in the office. He said that I was the first person to apply, and then asked me for my resume.

I don't know. I have to fill out my resume. The companies I applied for before were all small companies, restaurants and workshops, and they never asked for my resume. Seeing my doubts, the young man handed me a form and asked me to fill it out on another table.

After filling out the form, the man said, "The exam is the day after tomorrow."

I feel uneasy when I walk out of this newspaper. I have to take the exam before I can work in it. But I haven't done a day's news work before, and I didn't know I had to take an exam. What should I bring? I'm at a loss.

However, since I am allowed to take the exam, it means that I have basically been recognized. Thought of here, I'm a little relieved. After relaxing, my stomach suddenly became hungry. Remembering that I didn't eat all day yesterday, I generously walked into a roadside restaurant and ordered a large bowl of noodles, which was the sweetest meal I have ever eaten in my life.

After dinner, I went to the bookstore, found some books about news, read them carefully and extracted them from my notebook. Oh, it turns out that the news is recent; The inverted pyramid structure is actually to write a story first, which is called an introduction; The five elements of news are five w's ... I've never heard of them before.

While I was copying, a salesgirl came up and gave me a good scolding. I blushed, put the book on the shelf like a thief and ran away. I found another bookstore and cooked it according to law.

That day, I copied dozens of pages of news knowledge in my notebook. In the evening, I stood outside the hotel and recited under the street lamp. I seem to be a student again.

On the third day after registration, that is, the first day I came to this city 10, the newspaper held a written test.

The written test was held in a primary school near the newspaper office. Hundreds of people came to take the exam that day, and many classrooms upstairs and downstairs were occupied. I saw that on the eve of the exam, someone endorsed it in the open space next to table tennis. That atmosphere makes me nervous. I don't know if I can get into this newspaper. If not, what should we do next?

I was secretly happy when the exam questions were handed out. I actually recited both the fill-in-the-blank questions and the multiple-choice questions two days ago, not to mention the following writing questions. I have published two books, and I believe I can write articles on any subject. I wrote several pages magnificently, and the invigilator would come to see what I wrote from time to time, and I felt a sense of pride.

After the exam, I walked in the primary school and heard several people who came to take the exam together say that they would take the exam in another newspaper this afternoon. It turns out that that newspaper is also hiring. After getting the address, I went to another newspaper office in North Street with them. Because I didn't register in advance, the newspaper gave me a temporary admission ticket. At that moment, I felt that the newspaper was very human and eclectic, and I immediately liked this atmosphere.

I still think the exam questions are very simple and will be handed in soon.

I waited for another three days. This is my first 13 day in the provincial capital. This day is the day when two newspapers publish the list. I have only a few dollars left on me. I made a good plan. If neither newspaper hired me, I would follow the old man in the hotel to pick up garbage.

I ran sweating and came to the first newspaper. I saw a lot of people in front of the newspaper. Everyone was silent, silently looking for their names on the list. That list is red and extremely dazzling. I stood outside the crowd and saw my name at a glance. My name ranks first. I was admitted to our reporter with the first place. I'm afraid to look into my eyes. I'll take a closer look. This is really my name. I almost fainted with joy. I turned my back, tears streaming down my face.

Great, now you don't have to pick up garbage.

I ran in the street again, which attracted many people's puzzled eyes. A policeman chased me after me and asked me loudly what I was doing. I smiled at him and kept running. The fat policeman couldn't catch up with me and had to give up breathing. I run briskly. I see the sky is so blue, the floors are very high, and everyone is very kind. I ran to the root of the deserted city wall and knelt on the grass and cried.

After a long time, I got up. I went to another newspaper in North Street at noon and saw that my name was still on the list. I'm still the first.

It used to be dirty and boastful, but today it is debauchery and wandering around the world. Spring breeze is proud of horseshoe disease, and Chang 'an flowers can be seen all day.