Sitting at home smoking a cigarette, Zhang Yong still has a sense of anxiety. He opened the window and the traffic roared. His home is near the viaduct. Although there are two floors of sound insulation glass, the noise is still very loud. When chatting with this couple, you have to turn up your voice to hear clearly.
10 years ago, my daughter went to the United States to study. Now, she not only stayed in America, but also married an American boyfriend. Over the past year, Zhang Yong has been doing her daughter's work, persuading her to return to China, and even threatening to "sever the relationship between father and daughter", but the effect is not great. This made Zhang Yong feel that the most wrong decision in my life was to send my daughter to study abroad. "I haven't contacted her for two weeks." Zhang Yong sighed.
Zhang Yong is 6/kloc-0 years old this year, and his wife Zhu Jing is 60 years old. Before retiring, Zhang Yong was an engineer in a power plant in Shenzhen, and his wife Zhu Jing was an accountant in this factory.
"Actually, sending our daughter abroad was not in our plan at first, because we didn't have that much money." Zhu Jing said that Zhang Yongjia had four brothers, and Zhang Yong was the third. Although he worked in Shenzhen for a long time, Zhang Yong didn't live well in Shenzhen and had no place among his brothers.
Zhu Jing gave birth to her daughter Zhang Li at the age of 3/kloc-0. At that time, Zhang Yong seemed to be an "old woman". Zhang Yong loves her daughter Zhang Li very much, and the couple have set a goal. If conditions permit, it is best to let her study abroad.
In 2006, my daughter Zhang Li missed out on a famous university in China with a score of 1 1. She told Zhang Yong that she wanted to study abroad.
"In fact, the conditions at that time were not very mature. There is such a plan. " Zhang Yong said that the couple have been scrimping and saving since their daughter went to junior high school. In order to earn enough money for their daughter to study abroad, the couple sold their own 1 10 square meter house and bought a two-bedroom apartment of more than 70 square meters. "Anyway, after the daughter goes abroad, it is enough for the couple to live."
From a family of three to a world of two.
In 2007, Zhang Li received an admission notice from an American university. Zhang Yong was very excited. "I checked, this school does not recruit too many Asian students every year, and it is very lucky to be admitted. Our daughter finally made us proud. " Zhang Yong said.
Zhang Yong still remembers seeing his daughter out of the airport. "Red-eye flight at 1 in the morning. I waved to her from a distance, and she had disappeared from my sight. I still looked in that direction, and suddenly my heart was empty. Tears can't help falling. I turned my head and saw my wife kneeling on the ground crying. I quickly wiped my tears and pulled her up and put her on the ground. "
Zhu Jing told her daughter more than once not to walk alone at night in the United States and not to participate in mass activities such as demonstrations. Entrusted by Zhang Yong, she also gave her daughter a serious sex education and asked Zhang Li to establish a correct view of love or marriage. Zhu Jing also drew several red lines for her daughter, forbidding foreigners to be boyfriends, forbidding unmarried mothers, and forbidding teacher-student relations with school teachers.
For Zhang Yong and his wife, especially for Zhu Jing, it is a bigger challenge to adapt to her daughter's absence. She brought up her daughter from birth and always stayed with her. Now suddenly disappeared from her side, feeling quite unaccustomed. Her mood fluctuates greatly. Two months before her daughter left, she always suffered from insomnia. "I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. Since my daughter left home, I have been like a lost soul. I know in my heart that it is a good thing for my daughter to study abroad, but I still can't help crying. In the week I just went, I called her three times a day. "
"I'm afraid she will leave me."
After Zhang Li went abroad, he had little contact with his family. Zhang Yong usually contacts his daughter by skype and telephone. There was no WeChat at that time. Even if my daughter calls home, it seems a bit "official", mainly because she is not used to eating and studying. "In the first week, I called almost every day to say that Americans had difficulty communicating and things were terrible."
"To be honest, I don't know what she is doing in America, who she knows and how she is studying, except on the phone." Zhang Yong never told her relatives that her daughter's study abroad is entirely at her own expense, which costs about 300,000 yuan a year. But for Zhang Yong, whose family income is not very affluent, it is a huge sum of money.
Zhang Li spent the second Spring Festival in China after going to the United States. When I saw my daughter at the airport, the family of three hugged each other and cried. During their daughter's third summer vacation, Zhang Yong and his wife had the first chance to go to the United States. Zhang Yong said with a smile, this is still touched by her daughter's light. "I estimate that if we go by ourselves, the visa may not be possible."
My daughter and Mr. and Mrs. Zhang Yong stayed in the United States for a week. Zhang Yong found that her daughter had changed a lot. She had her ears pierced, wore earrings and bought a brand-name bag. While chatting with Xiao Xiong, a friend studying in Zhang Li, Xiao Xiong inadvertently revealed that Zhang Li had a foreign boyfriend after coming to the United States.
At this time, Zhang Yongcai noticed that her daughter had changed. "I am proud of my daughter, but I am really afraid that she will leave me." Zhang Yong said.
Daughter married a foreigner.
Zhang Li is a sensible child. That night, Zhang Yong politely asked her if she had ever had a boyfriend in America. Zhang Li admitted that he had three boyfriends before, but they were all short-lived. Foreign boyfriends broke up after two months of dating. After this conversation, Zhang Yong and Zhu Jing reached an agreement that their daughter could not find a foreigner as a boyfriend, let alone marry a foreigner. Return to work after graduation.
But my daughter doesn't agree with this. "Is there anything wrong with finding a foreign boyfriend?"
From 2065438 to 2002, Zhang Li continued his postgraduate studies in this school. At the end of 20 15, Zhu Jing received a phone call from her daughter, who told her to stay and work abroad and marry a foreign boyfriend. The next day, she told the news to Zhang Yong. Zhang plucked up his courage and threw two plates to the ground.
Zhu Jing said that no matter what choice her daughter made, she would support her as long as she was happy. But the thought that it will take a year to see her daughter in the future still makes her feel bad.
On the wall of Zhang Yong's home, there are many awards that Zhang Li won from elementary school to junior high school. When she misses her daughter, Zhang Yong often turns out her childhood photos. "Xiaoli liked me to take her to the vegetable market by bike when she was a child." Even emails with his daughter are often turned out by him to pass the time.
Who will take care of us when we are old?
Zhang Yong's relationship with her daughter is very stiff, and she hasn't spoken for two weeks. Thanks to Zhu Jing's efforts. Zhang Yong's attitude is very firm. She doesn't agree that her daughter will marry a foreign boyfriend and go back to work in China after graduation, otherwise she will break off relations with her daughter. But he admits that these are all angry words. "I don't care enough about my daughter. I only know how to give money and ignore her emotional problems. "
Zhang Yong said that he was not old-fashioned and he loved his daughter very much. He has his own reasons against his daughter staying abroad to marry a foreigner. One is because of cultural differences, and the other is for the old couple's old life. "We old couple can't go to America. If she stays in America, she may not have a chance to meet again. This is our only child. "
Because her daughter found a foreign boyfriend and wanted to stay abroad, the "cold war" between Zhang Yong and her daughter continued, and Zhu Jing became the "mouthpiece" between them. "Is there a father like me in her eyes?" Zhang Yong repeated this sentence repeatedly in the conversation, her voice trembled, and her hand with a cigarette kept dusting the ash from the ashtray.
"It is good for children to have their own dreams, but they should also consider the feelings of their parents. I really regret sending her out to study now. This is the worst decision of my life. Do you think it is realistic for the old couple to live in America? Unrealistic. We simply don't have the conditions and skills to live in the United States, and we are not used to life. " Zhang Yong said that what he feels now is that he has been trying to cultivate a daughter for others for decades. Now, what he is most worried about is how to spend the remaining decades if he loses contact with his only daughter. "Who will take care of our old couple when they are old?"