What is the deepest friendship between people?
? Qian Zhongshu
In the language I know a little, nothing can express the marrow of friendship better than the so-called "frank communication" in the old saying of China. A word "Su" vividly describes the essence of pure and simple friendship. Plain color is the basis of all colors, and it is also the harmony of all colors, just like a day contains seven colors. True friendship, seemingly light in pixels, has its own profound friendship beyond life and death.
If love is a necessity of life, then friendship can only be regarded as a luxury. Therefore, God took pity on Adam's loneliness and only made Eve for him, not another Al. We often compare flame to love, and this metaphor is more appropriate than we think. Love is as greedy as fire, as spreading and cruel, destroying solid raw materials and turning ashes into light and enthusiasm. Like Byron, like Goethe, like Miao Sai, like wildfire, the bloody red hearts, white hearts and yellow hearts of white, chestnut and brown prostitutes (the power of the sun walker) were burned to ashes, and only fuel was supplied.
Although mistresses need new ones to be interesting, friends make old ones better. The erosion of friendship by time is like water flowing through a stone, but it has been polished. Because friendship is not a sharp demand, it is rare for good friends to have that kind of tired pioneer and a kind of satisfied mood, just like the feeling that we put down our knife and fork after eating the last dish and leaned back in the chair, ready to ask the waiter for coffee. Of course, you can't generalize, it depends on what friends you have.
There is a saying in the west that "a friend who is in urgent need or sleepy is a true friend", which is inevitably superficial. When we are in urgent need, we need friends the least. A friend has money, and we need his money; Our friend has rice, but what we lack is his rice. At that time, we may need real friends, but what we really need is not friends. We talk about friendship, face-saving, and borrowing from the east and the west. The purpose is not to be friends themselves, but to regard friendship as an available tool and the most convenient method.
That friend, who is always the most knowledgeable and interesting, has no intention to appreciate his humor, his hug and his charm when we are in a hurry. Sleeves wrapped in a breeze, swallowed water in one gulp, while Yun listened to his good friend's conversation, but he forgot his hunger and thirst. Even a noble and unpopular celebrity may not be able to live in poverty. This remark has nothing to do with Liu xiaobiao's so-called complaints about making good use of power and interests. Whether friends are generous or stingy, it is one thing to be willing to help the poor. Our unbreakable prejudice that I am friends with someone and that someone should help me when I am in trouble is another matter.
As far as possible, my friend is generous with his money, but his is mine. When I need a loan badly, I always have bad feelings and good intentions. In fact, this is not feasible. Try to see how many friendships there are in the world, because there are barriers to success; Similarly, if the people we look down on most often, who are at odds with each other, can help at this time, we will be more concerned than our friends on weekdays. When we are grateful, we can make new friends immediately, and the friendship accumulated over the years will be transferred on the spot. Friendship is the least valuable when you are sleepy-no, it is the most valuable to evaluate it with money! I often feel that all poems about friendship are inevitably too extravagant and too critical of friends since the Theory of Wide Parting. They only say that friends are narrow-minded, ignore our own people, only know money, and don't know why friends who may not have borrowed it are willing.
Gul Smith's oriental story "History of Three Pains" is quite unknown. In the pamphlet published by 1877, there is a preface, which says that he wants to create a friendship measurement table to determine friendship according to the amount of money that friends are willing to lend him. Even an elegant person like Zhang Chuanshan can't get rid of this concept of friendship, so he should complain that "things can be tolerated but they are still too proud and not close to each other." The theory of friends breaking up just scolds snobbish friends for us, and we also need an article against friends breaking up to scold their snobbish friends, that is, ourselves.
In the Water Margin, it is written that Sung River is attached to Jiangzhou, and Dai Zong makes people feel good about him. Song Jiang said: "Human feelings, human feelings, are people's wishes!" True wisdom is ten thousand times higher than that of Liu and Zhang Chuanshan. Strange to say, this sentence with "forgiveness" makes people shake their heads and sigh against the prejudice of all angry ships that "they don't love friendship and love money": First, they sigh that only robbers understand the truth! But wait a minute, there is a second sigh; The second sigh, sigh understands the truth, but it is inevitable to set fire to kill people, which is inconsistent with words and deeds, so it is also a robber!
When it comes to material assistance and spiritual assistance, we think of what Confucius called knowing ourselves and knowing ourselves. This bleached utilitarianism is nothing more than saying that people who are beneficial to our character and knowledge must make friends. My prejudice is not very strong for such a friendship. Confucius contrasted a straightforward good friend with a "withdrawn, kind and soft" bad friend. Of course, he refers to young people and mature people who can be seen everywhere. They call a spade a spade and make suggestions for good people in a proper way. Born with a cricket-like temper, I jumped around to excuse my mistakes. In order to save trouble and be less annoyed, I always try to keep a respectful distance from nosy people. However, every time you take a narrow road, you will inevitably learn a lesson. You are very cultured recently, and you will be happy to hear it. Not just talk, but you can do it.
Listen to the advice of a "friend" who trusts you directly, and don't feel sad because of your conscience; He sees your frightened expression and thinks you are invincible and your momentum is greatly increased. It's hard to argue that you are scolded and persuaded. Then after a few sweet words, you patted your shoulder and said goodbye, smiling all the way, feeling that you have done countless merits for heaven. On the other hand, if you have a big smile on your face and admit it; When he said that you swore, you said that people like so-and-so should not only curse, but also cut. When he said you were vicious, you said you wanted to poison him. At that time, it was his turn to stretch his face like a soldering iron, which made him laugh and cry. Generally speaking, the most conceited and outspoken people are like those who have been disciplined and persuaded, like the good Christian men and women I have met in recent years, and at the same time they can't stand other people's advice. Therefore, you can't see much friendship between people who trust each other directly; About a straight center is much like a straight line in geometry. The two go hand in hand and never intersect.
A German diary has a wonderful test; He said that regarding many books, we should ask: Who are these books for? Regarding many people, we have to ask: What books can such people read? According to this statement, a "good friend" who listens much is a person who reads reference books. People who have heard a lot often have the same fate as reference books. Once used, it is like a squeezed lemon. It tastes tasteless and it is a pity to throw it away.
This is not to say that friends are not good for you; I just explained that people who can give you physical and mental benefits are not necessarily friends. You can't talk about the benefits of friends like this. The formation of true friendship is not due to the intentional wooing of both sides, but some are accidental and some are unconscious. Unconsciously, I don't know when and when the seeds of friendship lurk; Hey! Look, it's sprouting in my heart. In the warm and dense subconscious of spring night, I suddenly sneaked into an outsider, oh! It's him! The product of true friendship is just a pleasure that permeates your body and mind. Without this kind of happiness, no matter how much trust and listening, there will be no friendship. Contact with your real friends, feel this pleasure, your inner meanness and cruelty will naturally disappear, and you don't need to preach and persuade.
Haven't you heard the wind whistling in the fireplace chimney in the poor winter night? It's like taking care of the depression in your heart and blowing it away, but leaving no traces of language and words, not bound by that stone and bamboo. Huang Li's "Tea Ci" is never tired of reading, and it is best said: "Just like an old friend under the lamp, Wan Li returns to the shadows; I can't talk, I am happy and introspective. " Making friends is more suitable than drinking tea. People who deliberately want to make "good friends" are not like the ancient tea tasting in China, but more like the afternoon tea drinking method in Britain: thick and bitter Indian black tea, sugar milk, bread shortbread and even sausage patties, both dry and wet, are as lively as land and water Dojo.
In the language I know a little, nothing can express the marrow of friendship better than the so-called "frank communication" in the old saying of China. A word "Su" vividly describes the essence of pure and simple friendship. Plain color is the basis of all colors, and it is also the harmony of all colors, just like a day contains seven colors. True friendship, seemingly light in pixels, has its own profound friendship beyond life and death. If friendship is not light but greasy, it is love or platonic friendship. The ancients in China called the couple "greasy friends", which is also a thoughtful allegory that can't be found in foreign languages. Therefore, true friendship is a deeper relationship than spiritual or material help.
Pope's address to Pauline Black is thoughtful and intriguing: "philosopher, mentor and friend." I have five most beloved teachers in the university. They are all friends of the philosopher that Pope said. These five teachers and three or four other good friends have endless good things to say to me; However, my friendship with them is not because of inexhaustible benefits, but because of inexhaustible benefits. Monteny's explanation of the friendship between him and Rabe can be said to be quite borrowed: "Because he is him, because I am me", and there is nothing else to say. The plain words of plain communication have already realized this colorless friendship; The happiness of "unspeakable" can only be described in a wordless way.
There is another kind of friend, which is slightly different from Su Yan's friend. Most of these friends are younger than you. Say you tease him, you like him better; Say you bully him, but you protect him, just like Johnson and boswell. This kind of friend, like a little secret of yours, is private and you don't want to make it public. You can only laugh at him and curse him. The pleasure of plain sex is close to tea; This kind of friend can only give you pleasure, faster than Jin Shengtan's criticism of the so-called hiding place in the West Chamber. There is a wonderful passage in Iloto's A Girl Asks for a Husband, and this feeling can also be conveyed by depicting subtle and comfortable itching.