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Confusion is a problem that everyone will encounter. Feeling miserable because of confusion, how to break it?

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Have you ever felt miserable because you don't know what to do every day?

Don't you want to go to work five days a week? You've been feeling gloomy since Monday, but you don't know what to do.

Have you ever found that when you reach middle age, everyone around you is richer than you, your wife complains every day, and your career can't see tomorrow?

Well, we call this state "confusion".

There is a good saying, whose youth is not confused?

Not to mention youth, even middle-aged people are often confused.

However, some people lose themselves in confusion; Someone came out of confusion and broke into a new world.

The former is called ordinary people, and the latter is called superior people. Ordinary people continue to be confused, and the master has climbed the peak of life, or is on the way to the peak.

Today, we will talk about ways to deal with confusion from three levels. The choice of these three levels will determine the height of your life.

The three levels are from easy to difficult, and they are very operable and will definitely be useful to you. No matter what you do in the future, the time you spend on it will not be wasted.

The first level: interacting with confusion

Cultivate good habits and reshape the underlying system.

A person begins to be confused, often starting from boredom, then slowly falling into anxiety, then panic, and finally getting more and more painful.

If you are numb, it means that you have been confused for too long and have given up your struggle, just like a frog in warm water.

If you want to change this situation, then the following content will be very valuable to you.

Don't worry when you decide to change. Don't expect to get rid of confusion at once, that's the third level. Now, focus on the first level and do some simple things.

Please start today and do three things:

① Set the alarm clock forward 10 minute;

② Do 10 push-ups (or sit-ups) before going to bed;

③ Read 10 pages every day.

As long as you do these three things well, you don't have to do anything else, and you don't have to do more. Not long, just a month.

When most people are confused, they are not trying to change, but failing. The biggest reason is "greed". Let's not be greedy, that's all.

Why do I want you to do these three things, and only these three things?

Because, these three things represent the law of work and rest, insist on exercise and keep learning. They determine the effectiveness of your time management, your health and the sustainability of your progress.

Getting up early 10 minutes means that you don't have to wash your face, brush your teeth, make up, eat breakfast and catch the subway like a war. You can relax completely in the morning, make up more exquisitely and eat more carefully. Moreover, arriving at the company 5- 10 minutes in advance gives the boss and colleagues a completely different feeling from stepping on the spot to go to work.

10 Push-ups every day, and if you persist, your muscles will change. Moreover, instead of setting a goal of 100 push-ups, you can easily complete the task and get pleasure. The result is that you feel guilty every day. (Note at the end of the article 1 Extensible reading, the same below)

10 pages a day, and you only read one book a month, you gain new knowledge or inspiration. Moreover, read only 10 pages, not tired, but also intensive reading. (Note 2)

Remember, don't be too greedy We do these three things, not for our own benefit, but for a more important purpose:

Form good habits!

Stick to it in the first month, and you will feel a sense of accomplishment and feel very simple-because it is really easy to do.

Now you can try it in the second month, and you can add a little yards. For example, put down the phone 12 minutes in advance at night; Do 12 push-ups before going to bed; Read 12 pages every day.

After the second month, you can try the third and fourth months. ...

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The change of habit lies not in intensity, but in persistence.

No matter how thoroughly remould oneself change, you can start from a small place that is completely within your ability.

Habit is the potential system of your body and mind. When you form some good habits, everything will get better gradually.

The core point of this level is gradual progress. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and avoid those ambitious goals. Just a small one. (Note 3)

The second level: fighting against chaos

From body to thinking, improve skills in all directions.

Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, was also confused when he was young. He didn't know what to do, so he thought about it and went to learn calligraphy!

You know, Jobs' motherland is the United States, and they studied English, so calligraphy is a ghost.

So in the next 10 years, this knowledge will be useless except for highlighting the style when writing love letters.

So, in order to overcome the confusion, did Jobs waste his time practicing calligraphy?

Not exactly.

According to Steve Jobs' memory when he gave a speech at Stanford University a few years later, "Ten years later, when we designed the first Mac Singto computer, I remembered it. I designed all the guys I learned at that time into the Mac. That was the first computer to use beautiful printed fonts. "

In fact, just like Steve Jobs' handwriting practice, there are many things that seem useless now, but they will definitely help you in the future.

If you are confused and don't know what to do, you can at least start doing something absolutely foolproof.

For example:

1. Learn some skills that can be used in future work:

Speech, writing, calligraphy, PPT, foreign languages, programming, psychology, economics, financial management, enterprise management, time management, mind map, advertising design, marketing skills, business etiquette, dress code, makeup (for girls) ...

2. Learn some skills that can be used in life:

Cooking, tea ceremony, wine tasting knowledge, fashion dress, financial management knowledge, nutrition collocation, health care ...

You can also learn some pure entertainment skills:

Guitar, chorus, folk music, sketch, flower arrangement, dance, pottery, sculpture, paper cutting. ...

4. You can also learn some healthy skills:

Badminton, tennis, golf, basketball, yoga, skateboarding, parkour, swimming …

Just like the first level, don't be greedy. Choose one or two of them to start learning (1-4 category collocation, each category has only one).

Moreover, if you want to learn, you must calm down, learn carefully, study hard and understand one subject. Don't break the stick, pick this up and throw that away.

When you start doing these things, confusion seems less painful, and you may even have forgotten it. More importantly, your life direction may be hidden in these skills.

When you find that you are particularly happy when learning one of the above skills, and you are making rapid progress, maybe that is the direction you will pursue in the future. Or, although I like it, it doesn't matter if I make slow progress. Sticking to it as a hobby and adjusting your life can also make you happy.

At the second level, we also need to use the four-quadrant rule of time management.

Don't be frightened by the name "four-quadrant rule". In fact, it is very simple, that is, make a list of things you want to do, and then classify them according to their importance and urgency, according to four intervals.

The second level of things mainly involves the second quadrant (upper left corner area) in the above picture: important but not urgent things.

These things are very important to our future. However, because it is too long, or we can't see the effect in a short time, it is easy to be killed by our amnesia or dragged to death by procrastination.

According to the law of time management, for important but not urgent things, we should make clear plans and implement them step by step, so as to eradicate amnesia and procrastination. (Note 4)

At this time, the good habits we cultivated at the first level will come in handy.

Make good use of your good habits, concentrate on irrigating several new skills, and make yourself look brand-new from body to mind and from inside to outside, ready to meet higher challenges.

The third level: bid farewell to confusion

Break the infinite loop and solve the fundamental problem

The first level and the second level can help us know how to deal with confusion and live better, but they don't solve the fundamental problem.

If you don't know exactly what you want and what to do, you will be confused sooner or later.

Then, at the third level, let's talk about how to fundamentally solve the problem of confusion.

The essence of confusion is that the strategic goal is unclear and the strategic path is missing. In adult words, it is: where am I going? How can I get there?

At the third level, we focus on solving the problem of "where am I going?" Please refer to "How can I get there?" on the first and second floors.

Here, I provide three methods from the shallow to the deep, which you can use comprehensively.

The first method of life path selection: pole method.

As the name implies, the pole method is to find a benchmark in life, or an example, and you should learn from him.

There are often two reasons why we don't know which way to go. One is that we don't know any roads, and the other is that we don't know any scenery and thorns on these roads.

At this time, we can look at those successful people we admire. How do they choose their own life path? What was the situation on their way? How did they leave?

I mentioned that I read 10 pages every day. When you are confused, the books you need to read most are biographies of celebrities and entrepreneurial stories.

The advantage of reading biographies of celebrities is that you can see the roads in the world, the scenery on the roads and how others walk.

Lei Jun, the founder of Xiaomi Company, was so excited that he couldn't sleep for several days and nights just because he watched Fire in Silicon Valley, and he was determined to embark on the road of computers and the Internet. This trip is a lifetime, and the harder you work, the more successful you will be.

Please go to JD.COM, Taobao, Amazon and Confucius' old books and search for "biographies of famous people" now, or go to the nearest bookstore to buy them and choose what you like.

If you don't know who you like, choose famous people, such as Jobs, Ma Yun, Lei Jun, kazuo inamori, Buffett and Musk. Or famous companies, such as Tencent Legend, McKinsey Legend, Huawei Legend, Coca-Cola Legend and so on.

If you don't know where to go, the best way is to follow the cow.

Life path selection method 2: interchange method.

Although there are many majors and occupations in the world, there are only three worth choosing: what I like, what I am good at and what I can make money. If these three criteria do not meet, then you should never choose.

The best choice is to meet these three conditions. As shown in the figure below:

If you like it and earn more money, but you are not good at it, people won't want you. You have to wait until you cultivate the strength of being good at it.

If you like and are good at it, but don't make money, then you can only be poor and happy, and you may not even be able to support yourself.

If you are good at it, you make more money, but if you don't like it, you will feel more and more uncomfortable, and gradually begin to doubt life and the value and significance of your existence.

It is even harder to satisfy all three dimensions. So what should we do?

My suggestion is six steps:

1. Make a list of all occupations (majors) first;

2. Choose one you like best;

3. Go in and study hard to make yourself a little good at it;

4. Find a job in this field that is "a little good at it";

5. Keep practicing, make yourself good at it and become an expert in this field;

6. Earn a lot of money with the strength of experts.

With these six steps, in a short time, you may lose some money you can earn now, or you will be very tired (if you study in your spare time).

But from the perspective of life, this is the most reasonable way and the easiest way to keep moving forward.

Therefore, this is not a road suitable for everyone, it is only suitable for people who can bear short-term losses or pains.

Life path choice method 3: strategic choice method.

One of the most commonly used strategic selection tools, called SWOT analysis, is to analyze problems from four angles: the strengths and weaknesses of companies or individuals, external opportunities and threats.

If you want to know whether you are suitable for a certain industry/job, please take a piece of paper and a pen and write down four headings: strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

Then, analyze your own situation and the situation of your position/company/industry, and fill in your analysis results under the heading.

I take "Is He Jiayan Suitable for Self-media" as an example to make an analysis and demonstration:

After analysis, I found that my advantages can be well combined with market opportunities; My disadvantage has little effect on writing official WeChat account, or I can overcome it slowly, or I can make up for it by cooperating with others. Although there are some threats, they are not enough to have a subversive impact on the market.

The final result is: He Yan Jia is very suitable to be the official account of WeChat, and it is high time to settle in.

So I chose this road. Facts have proved that I did go well: on the fifth day of the opening, under the cold start of zero fans, I wrote an article with a reading of 860 thousand, which created an industry miracle. Up to now, many articles have been reprinted by People's Daily, the Central Committee of the Communist Youth League, readers, books, insights and colleges, with tens of thousands of fans and a little fame.

This method may not be suitable for everyone, because it requires certain thinking and analytical skills. You need to be able to have an accurate understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and a more systematic judgment of market opportunities and risks. Friends with strong thinking and analytical skills may wish to give it a try.

In addition to these three methods, there are many ways to choose a life path, such as:

Stephen Covey's Funeral Fantasy Law (Note 5)

Chen's Complex System Method (Note 6)

Xie Chunlin's BVR Selection Method (Note 7)

Grandma Moses's "I like Buddhism" (Note 8)

There is an explanation in the comment area at the end of the article. You can refer to your own interests and choose the method that suits you best. Note 8: I like Buddhism by Grandma Moses, and I strongly recommend reading it.

Fourth, summary.

Let's make a summary of the above:

First of all, we must realize that confusion is not a problem for you alone, but a common problem in society. Do you feel better when you find that everyone has the same problem as you?

Secondly, there are three levels of choices to deal with confusion, from easy to difficult:

The first level: interacting with confusion. We should start with some simple things, cultivate good habits and reshape the underlying system.

The second level: fight against confusion. No matter what we do in the future, we can do something that will always be useful and absolutely correct, so that we can improve our skills from body to mind in all aspects.

The third level: bid farewell to confusion. We need to find out what the ultimate problem is, understand what our future path is, break the endless cycle of chaos and solve the fundamental problem once and for all.

Well, thank you for your patience in reading here. May you find the love of your life and not be confused.

(Notes are also interesting and useful. Don't miss them. )

Note 1: Doing 10 push-ups every day was not put forward by me, but by a man named Stephen Garth. He mentioned that only 1 piece was made every day. We can choose between 1 and 10, but it is better not to exceed 10 at first. Otherwise, I'm too tired! )

In the book Micro Habits, Stephen Gus tells his story:

Gus set himself a KPI (key performance indicator): complete one push-up every day. Naturally, he can easily overfulfil the task every day, and his mood doubles. He found that he wanted to do 100 push-ups, but he never finished it. Now he has finished it in two months.

Later, he applied this method to other fields, such as reading and writing. Slowly, he found that the original goal that could not be achieved in 10 has now been achieved in 1 year.

Note 2: Reading 10 pages every day was not put forward by me, but by Hu Shi.

Hu Shi said in a speech to Peking University graduates at 1932: "Darwin was ill all his life and could not do more work. He can only do one o'clock every day. Look at his grades! Spend a little time reading ten useful pages every day. You can read more than 3600 pages a year and 1 1 10,000 pages in 30 years. Gentlemen, 1 1 ten thousand pages of books can make you a scholar. However, you spend an hour reading three tabloids every day; Four rounds of mahjong will take you half an hour. Reading tabloids, playing mahjong, or trying to be a scholar? It depends on your own choice! "

Note 3: The core point of habit formation is not to set big goals, but to start with small goals. In order to facilitate memory, we use Li Ao's poem "Love Only a Little" to highlight its essence:

Don't do so much, just a little. The efforts of others are as deep as the sea, and mine are very shallow.

Don't do so much, just a little. Other people's national flags are older, but mine is shorter.

Note 4: Among the four quadrants of time management, there are different guiding principles on how to deal with the other three quadrants.

If you want to know more, you can refer to the third habit introduced in Stephen Covey's Seventh Habit of Highly Effective People: Do Important Things First.

Note 5: Funeral fantasy method

This was put forward by Stephen Covey in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Please imagine that you are dead. At your funeral, everyone is making a final conclusion about you. What do you want to hear from others at this time?

This evaluation is the most desired success in your life, and it is also the career you should pursue in your life.

Note 6: Complex system approach

When breaking the self-label, Chen put forward a point: if you can't find the direction, you should be a follower of great men. Finding such people, finding where they are, and finding their industry, this is the direction.

And these people are often in a very complicated system. The so-called complex systems are those things with higher originality, stronger sources, more levels and more complicated designs. For example, complex machines, great internet, first-tier cities, human industrial civilized society and so on.

Note 7: BVR selection method

Xie Chunlin, the founder of Yan Fushe, gave an answer of10.2 million praises in Zhihu (see Resources), and mentioned the selection method of BVR. The so-called BVR choice is to choose a life path through personal beliefs, values and rules.

Faith is what you believe is right and what the world should be like.

Values, that is, which one do you think is more important and valuable when faced with multiple choices?

Rules are the rules of your life, such as honesty, keeping your promise and so on.

Only by comprehensively considering beliefs, values and rules can you know what you want to do and what you absolutely don't want to do.

Note 8: "I just like Buddhism"

There was a peasant girl in America who was born before the American Civil War (1860) and wanted to paint, but there were no conditions. It was not until the Second World War (1937) that she began to learn to draw, when she was 77 years old. Later, she became a famous painter, and people called her "Grandma Moses".

During the Vietnam War (1960), Grandma Moses, at the age of 100, received a letter from a 28-year-old Japanese young man named "Spring Water Goes Up", saying that he was lost in his life and didn't know what to do.

Grandma Moses returned a postcard to Chunshui, which read: "Do what you like, and God will happily help you open the door to success, even if you are 80 years old now."

After receiving the postcard, the young man immediately quit his promising job as a surgeon and started a poor writing career. Later, he wrote the lost garden, light and shadow, sunset in the distance and other famous works.

Rising Spring Water, a contemporary Japanese writer, is one of the richest and most famous writers. His pen name is Junichi Watanabe.

* The article is the author's independent opinion and does not represent the position of Note Man.

References:

1. Micro-habit, Stephen Gus, Jiangxi People's Publishing House, 20 16.

2. Speech at Peking University Graduation Conference, Hu Shi, 1932.

3. Just a little, Li Ao.

4. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey, China Youth Publishing House, 20 15.

5. Breaking the label of self, Chen, Electronic Industry Press, 20 16.

6. "What is the difference between the thinking mode of powerful people when they encounter problems and ordinary people? Xie Chunlin, Zhihu, 2018165438+1October 23rd.

7. Grandma Moses wrote back to encourage him to abandon medicine and follow the literature, Ma, Dahe Daily, 201May 5, 4.

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