The present situation of interpersonal relationship in girls' dormitory (1) The tension caused by unhealthy psychology such as jealousy and suspicion.
In college, some students stand out in some aspects, such as appearance, ability and grades. And these relatively outstanding students often become the focus of students' attention. If you don't pay attention to your words and deeds at ordinary times, it is easy to cause jealousy and suspicion of your classmates and lead to interpersonal tension. On the other hand, in various awards, scholarships, difficult subsidies and so on. When it comes to students' immediate interests, some students with strong utilitarian heart or sensitive personality sometimes resent or even envy others' interests because they can't share interests, thus affecting the harmony of roommates.
(B) the gap between the rich and the poor caused by the psychological gap and emotional barriers
With the popularization of higher education, the family economic status of college students varies greatly. Some students come from superior families and spend more than 1000 yuan per month, while some students from remote rural areas don't even have basic living security. Due to the influence of long-term living environment, there are great differences between these two groups in world outlook, values and outlook on life, and friction often occurs in some viewpoints. Students with better economic conditions tend to have a sense of superiority and sometimes compare themselves, while students with poor family circumstances are more likely to feel inferior and sensitive, so it is easy for these two types of people in the dormitory to form an enemy-enemy front.
(3) Bad habits of personal disharmony.
In the dormitory of collective life, some students pay little attention to personal hygiene, smoke casually, never fold the quilt, the bed is dirty and messy, things are littered, socks and clothes are not washed, they sweat after playing football, don't take a shower, and often forget to flush the toilet when going to the toilet. Collective health has never been concerned, and it is never tired. These bad habits sometimes lead to conflicts between roommates. Some students have a disordered work and rest, and often light candles, read books, chat and play computer games in the middle of the night. These untimely activities violate the rights of roommates and sometimes become the fuse of disharmony in dormitory interpersonal relationship.
(d) Inappropriate love leads to roommates' emotional alienation.
It is normal to fall in love in college, but if you can't coordinate the relationship between love, study and life, then falling in love can easily lead to tension between roommates and friends. Some students who are unconscious always like to take the dormitory public telephone for themselves in the middle of the night or hide under the covers for a long time? Telephone porridge? Some even disregard other people's feelings, take their boyfriend and girlfriend to the dormitory for the night, and do some overly intimate actions in front of everyone. In this environment, the intensification of interpersonal relationship in dormitory is inevitable.
(5) narrowness caused by excessive intimacy? Dependence? Contradictions in interpersonal communication
Communication between people needs to keep a moderate distance. Too intimate communication takes up the time and space for others to communicate with others, which leads to the boredom of communication. In dormitory life, some students have poor independence and rely too much on others, so they have to follow others in their study, life and spare time. Is this narrow? Dependence? Interpersonal communication destroys the basic principles of interpersonal communication. Over time, with the accumulation of boredom, contradictions will gradually arise.
(6) Small collectivism destroys interpersonal relationship in dormitory.
In some dorms, some students are too competitive, utilitarian and vain, and like to form gangs, form small groups in dorms, isolate others, and go their own way regardless of their feelings. This situation can easily lead to long-term depression in the dormitory atmosphere, which leads to tension in interpersonal relationships in the dormitory.
Factors affecting interpersonal relationship in girls' dormitory: personality.
Psychologists divide people's temperament into four types: sanguine, mucinous, choleric and depressive. Bloody people are lively and active, their feelings happen quickly but can't last, they think quickly, but they often make mistakes, and they are frivolous and unrealistic. Gary is full of energy, strong in words and feelings, and difficult to control quickly. They are brave, tenacious and competitive in life, but they are usually impatient and rude. People with mucus are calm, slow and inactive, emotionally dull and earnest. Depression patients are introverted, emotional and clear-headed, but timid, withdrawn, sensitive and timid.
Due to the differences in life background and personal temperament, there are personality differences among students. Different personality characteristics make students need to constantly run in and understand each other in the process of getting along. Therefore, if there is no mutual tolerance and understanding, personality differences are likely to be the main factor leading to contradictions among dormitory students.
There are as few as four people in the dormitory and as many as eight people from the same or different places. In addition, people have different personalities, northerners are straightforward and southerners are delicate. Therefore, when looking at the problem, it is inevitable that there will be different views and viewpoints, and it will inevitably lead to the practice of not accepting each other. If not handled properly, it will also lead to tension in dormitory relations. Some students are introverted, unable to integrate into their classmates, and more and more autistic. Once they can't tolerate other students' practices, the problem will be aggravated. Some students are extroverted and hurt people everywhere, resulting in no friends and even worse interpersonal relationships.
Work and rest time
Some students like to turn off the lights and go to bed early at night, and then get up early to work and study. What about some students? Night cat? Type B, who often stays up late, plays computer games and chats online, causing interference to students in the dormitory.
College students in a dormitory come from different places, so their daily life will be different. Some of them are early to bed and early to rise, some are late to bed and late to get up, some need a nap at noon, and some are full of energy at noon. And after entering the university, I am no longer bound as I was in middle school. Therefore, there is a lot of free time in the dormitory, and many times contradictions within the dormitory will gradually arise because of the inconsistency of schedule. If mediation is not timely, the contradiction is likely to deepen.
Differences in living habits
We all have our own living habits at home on weekdays. When we live together, conflicts may arise because of different living habits. Personal bad habits are mainly manifested as: taking things without roommate's consent; If you don't pay attention to hygiene, you will throw things around; Some students even steal.
Just as college students in different places have different schedules, their living habits will be different. For example, the typical problem is the cleanliness of the dormitory. Some students don't pay attention to hygiene since childhood, and don't care about the cleanliness of the environment at all. Some students love cleanliness. Over time, students who love cleaning will be unbalanced in their hearts, and they will not have a good impression on students who don't pay attention to hygiene. Over time, the contradiction of interpersonal relationship in dormitory will be due to their living habits.
Hygienic problems in dormitory
Many girls don't do housework at home. When we came to the dormitory, everyone took turns cleaning. Some students are lazy, unwilling or unclean, so other students may be dissatisfied and have conflicts and contradictions.
attitude to learning
Some students in the dormitory love studying very much, but some students don't concentrate on studying, surf the Internet every day, fall in love and so on. In this way, everyone's development direction is different, which may lead to fewer topics of communication and alienation of dormitory relations.
Appearance difference
Most of them love beauty, because of jealousy and comparison psychology, they will be jealous of beautiful girls, which will have a certain impact on the interpersonal relationship in the dormitory.
Do you have a boyfriend?
When girls talk about boyfriends, they spend most of their time with them, so if they spend too little time communicating with their classmates in the dormitory, the relationship may become unfamiliar.
The gap between rich and poor families
Every student's family background is different. Some students have a rich shopping life, others come from the countryside, and their families are not rich, so they should be careful in spending money. In this way, due to the differences in family conditions, people have different consumption concepts, and if they can't fully understand each other, there will be contradictions.
Only child or not.
Only children are loved by their parents since childhood, and most of them are self-centered and cannot be too considerate of others. Children who are not only children know how to care about others and understand each other. In this way, it is easier for non-only-child dormitory to establish good dormitory interpersonal relationship than only-child dormitory.
Professional disunity
Different majors have certain influence on interpersonal relationship in dormitory. Students with the same major will have more topics in the dormitory than students with different majors, which will help to communicate and learn, so it will have a certain impact on interpersonal relationships in the dormitory.
Lack of communication
There is a little friction between dormitory members. If everyone is open and honest and communicates with each other, then this kind of friction or contradiction may disappear. However, some college students just can't let go of their face and stick to their own opinions. No one is willing to take the initiative to explain or show their true thoughts and attitudes to each other. As a result, the gap is getting bigger and bigger, and resentment is accumulating. This lack of communication in solving problems is a major reason for the tense interpersonal relationship in the dormitory.
Pay no attention to the details of life
Many students are used to doing whatever they like at home. They don't feel constrained or interfered by others at all. After entering the university, they lived in a dormitory in a multi-person environment. The original situation of not paying attention to the details of life and doing whatever you want may be dissatisfied by others. Over time, the problem will become more and more serious, and the interpersonal relationship in the dormitory will become more and more tense.
How to improve the interpersonal relationship of female students' dormitory in university? First, in the layout of the dormitory, we can consider letting people with similar personalities and values live together and combine freely to provide a relaxed space for most college girls.
Second, pay attention to those girls who are withdrawn and have a bad dormitory relationship. There are deep reasons behind these girls, such as family background and personality. For these students, we can't just deny their low moral quality. On the contrary, we should encourage and help them realize their own problems and help them change slowly.
Third, let college girls learn some interpersonal skills, especially how to resolve conflicts, turn crises into opportunities, and improve college students' interpersonal conflict resolution ability.
Fourth, pay attention to the emotional management of female college students. Because of their gender role, female college students especially want to have a sense of belonging and attachment to the group, so they are easy to accept small things and are emotionally unstable. Good emotional management ability of college girls can make them calm down in interpersonal conflicts and promote their mental health.
Fifth, carry out peer counseling and group training in the female dormitory of the university, give full play to the positive role of peers, and let those female college students who lack interpersonal skills learn from their peers, from activities, and from the process of interacting with classmates.