For many people, shyness is the cause of many unhappiness. All kinds of people-short, tall, stupid, smart, young, old, thin and fat-say they are shy. Shy people will be anxious and feel unnatural; In other words, they pay too much attention to their appearance and manners. There are some disturbing thoughts hovering in my mind: what impression do I make? Do they like me? Am I stupid when I speak? I am ugly. The clothes I wear are unremarkable. Obviously, this uneasy feeling will have a bad influence on people. A person's self-concept is reflected in his own behavior, and his behavior affects the reaction of others. Usually, how people see themselves will have a profound impact on all aspects of their lives. For example, people with positive self-worth or strong self-esteem often show self-confidence. Because of their confidence, they can feel good without constant praise and encouragement from others. Confident people enthusiastically and spontaneously throw themselves into life. They are not influenced by what others think they should do. People with strong self-esteem will not be hurt by criticism; They don't take criticism as a personal attack. On the contrary, they think that criticism is a suggestion to remind them to improve. In contrast, shy people have low self-esteem, are often passive and easily influenced by others. Whether they are doing the "right thing" needs to be affirmed by others. Shy people are very sensitive to criticism; They feel that criticism only proves that they are inferior to others. It is also difficult for them to be happy because they think they are not worthy of praise. A shy person may respond to a compliment by saying, "You just say that to make me feel better. I know this is not true. " Obviously, although self-awareness is a healthy quality, excessive self-awareness is unfavorable and harmful. Can shyness be completely eliminated or at least alleviated? Fortunately, people can overcome shyness by making unremitting efforts to build self-confidence. Because timidity and lack of self-esteem are closely related, it is as important to face up to your weaknesses as to face up to your strengths. For example, most people want to get an A in every subject. It is not appropriate to classify yourself as a poor student just because you have difficulties in some fields. People's expectations of themselves must be realistic. Always thinking about the impossible will make you feel incompetent and even jealous. When we are jealous of our classmates whose grades are better than ours, we are denying ourselves. If you are shy, here are some concrete and effective steps to help you build your confidence and overcome shyness: 1. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages. With the continuous self-identity, shyness will naturally weaken. 2. Set reasonable goals. For example, when you go to a party with a group of strangers, you may get stage fright. Don't think you have to talk to everyone. Concentrate and talk to only one or two people, and you will feel more comfortable. Guilt and shame are negative emotions. Don't waste time and energy on this. Suppose you hurt someone's feelings, it's no use feeling ashamed. On the contrary, you should admit that you made a mistake and make up your mind to be more considerate in the future. There are many solutions to all problems. There are few completely correct or completely wrong views. Dare to express one's views publicly. 5. Don't make negative comments on yourself. This is a kind of self-denial. Never call yourself stupid, ugly or failed. Focus on the positive side of yourself. 6. Think carefully when accepting criticism. Don't interpret criticism as a personal attack. For example, if a friend complains about your cooking, accept it as an evaluation of your cooking rather than your own. Don't worry, you are still good friends, but your cooking may really need to be improved. 7. Remember, everyone will experience some failures and setbacks. We should use them as experiences to increase our knowledge and benefit from them. Frustration often becomes a turning point, followed by a wonderful experience. For example, you may be rejected by your favorite university. However, in your university, you may find that a certain feature of education here is much better than you expected. 8. Some people will make you feel incompetent. Don't associate with such people. Try to change their attitude towards you or your attitude towards yourself, or break away from this relationship. People who hurt you don't care about your best interests. 9. Set aside time for rest, enjoy your hobbies and re-examine your goals regularly. The time spent on it will help you to know yourself better. 10. Exercise more in social situations. Don't isolate yourself from others. Try to know one friend at a time; Eventually, you will be able to deal with people skillfully and confidently. Each of us is a unique and valuable individual. We have our own attraction. The more we know about ourselves, the easier it is to give full play to our potential. Don't let shyness stand in the way of a rich and successful life.
Unit 3 Social Problems
Keys, kid, jingle, jingle, is anyone home?
1 The cost of living in the United States has been rising steadily in the past few decades. Food prices are rising, clothing costs, housing costs and tuition fees are getting higher and higher. Part of the reason is economic needs, and part of the reason is that the personal career choice has been completed, and the mother has broken away from the traditional role of full-time housewife. They are increasingly looking for employment opportunities outside their work and family.
Making such an important role change affects the whole family, especially the children. Some consequences are obvious. For example, dinner is in the next hour. On the other hand, the influence of emotions may be more subtle. Mothers leave home in the morning and feel guilty because their children don't come home at school. They suppress their guilt because they believe that their work will benefit everyone's long-term interests. Income will enable families to save college tuition, extend holidays, buy new cars, and so on.
Children with emotional influence may be very big. It is common for children to feel hurt and resentful. After all, they have only been here for a few hours, and they think their mother "should" have them. They may need help with their homework or want to share the activities of the day. However, usually, the mother who comes home will run out and face the task of preparing dinner immediately. It focuses on cooking dinner for the family, not having a relaxed conversation.
The age range of key children has increased from 6 to 13. Every day, when they go back to school and open the door, the key is hung around their necks. They are now in their own, independent, quiet and empty rooms. For some teenagers, this is private time during childbirth, while others are terrible and loneliness is ineffective. For safety reasons, many parents forbid their children to go out to play, or there are tourists at home. Therefore, teenagers feel lonely.
Five key children interviewed reported different reactions. Some key children say that they use their own time to cultivate or stimulate their sense of independence and responsibility every day. They believe in love and trust, which encourages them to be confident. Key girls learn from the example of working mothers by observing their mothers' coping with family and work needs. Some children say that they use their unsupervised free time to improve their sports skills, such as playing basketball. Others read books or practice musical instruments. These children think of their free time and personal development opportunities after school. It brings positive, fruitful and valuable experiences.
On the other hand, many key children say that they live like this with great pain, resentment and anger. Many people claim that they are young because of their great responsibilities; This is a heavy burden. Who are they? No one really wants to get protection, encouragement and care through mother's attention. Returning to an empty home is disappointing, lonely and often terrible. They think their mother abandoned them. After all, it seems that most of their other children's "normal" families have their mothers "around", while their own mothers never come home. Many children turn on the TV all afternoon to reduce emotional isolation; Besides, the sound is comfortable. Usually, they doze off.
Because of any economic needs, or for the firm determination of personal realization, or both, but the key to this phenomenon is children, which is very common in our society. Whatever the reason, this is an urgent situation that a family must deal with. The question to ask is not whether mothers should work full-time. In view of the reality, this question asks: how to formulate the best scheme to effectively deal with this situation.
It is desirable for all family members to express their feelings and concerns, and it is inevitable to change frankly. These remarks should be fully discussed. Many factors must be considered: children's personality and maturity, the time needed to separate children, a safe community, and help in an emergency. What matters to the Supreme Court is the quality of the relationship between parents and children. Most importantly, children are safe in knowledge, and they like it. The feeling of love provides valuable spiritual strength, successfully handles almost all difficulties and appears in life. (760 words)