A while ago, my friend and I almost didn't quarrel because of sharing a room.

My roommate is going to work in Shenzhen. As a resident of this two-bedroom apartment, I got the first opportunity to recruit roommates in my life. Since I used to find a house through "Douban Renting Group", this time I also used Douban as the main channel for me to find a house, and released a document listing my basic requirements and forwarding it to my circle of friends.

My friend read my post and sent me a private letter: "I dare not rent your house after reading your request for sharing."

My face is covered with black question marks. I clearly wrote a request for sharing with my heart.

She explained that I asked a little too much about hygiene in my explanation, which would make people feel that renters are not easy to get along with.

I read my own instructions in the health section:

"When I first moved here, the kitchen was dirty. I made great efforts to clean and maintain it. Every time I finish cooking, I clean all the walls of the counter. The hygiene of the kitchen is very important, otherwise it will provoke cockroaches.

I am very concerned about the hygiene of the kitchen and living room, because a little carelessness may attract unknown creatures. So I hope that you who live together are also a person who loves hygiene and cleanliness. It is very important to ensure the hygiene of public areas, not to expose food overnight, and to clean the kitchen in time after use.

At the same time, if you really need to eat in the room, please clean it up in time, otherwise it will attract unknown creatures. There is a dining table and a coffee table in the living room. You can eat in the living room. Please clean the table within the day after eating. "

I don't know if you will feel the same way with my friend after reading it, but I didn't think there was anything wrong with this passage at that time. I also argued with my friend about the hygiene of the shared house and finally broke up.

After consulting several other friends who shared their experiences, it caused a great wave of complaints, but there was no lack of recognition of friends' views, which made me wonder if I was really too tricky.

Is it really harsh to clean public areas?

2

With the last batch of post-90s gradually entering the university gate, more and more "untouched generation" began to live with outsiders.

In this generation, many people are holding the "moon" in their hands at home. They have little contact with housework and have never tried to live under the same roof with outsiders of their own age.

It is said that the post-90 s generation is full of personality, and it is naturally the same in living habits. In the decades before moving in, everyone had their own living habits and hygiene habits. When their habits conflict, contradictions are inevitable.

If people who live together are unwilling to compromise with each other, two things will happen. First, everyone should take care of their own space, not public areas. The second is the intensification of contradictions, quarreling for pots and pans every day.

three

During the exchange abroad, I lived in a five-bedroom shared by men and women.

Influenced by my mother since I was a child, I was a little neat and just wanted to cook in a clean environment. My mother cleans the stove every time I finish cooking, including the walls splashed with oil stains, so I start cleaning according to my mother's standards every time I finish cooking.

But other people in the apartment often soak the dishes for a day or two, and the stove is greasy and never clean. It's ok to help clean once or twice, but every time I see a dirty kitchen before cooking, my enthusiasm is ruined by half. Over time, I stopped cleaning the stove and walls, and my desire to cook with my heart gradually lost. Every time I come back from class, I stay in my room.

When I finally checked out, I was still very uncomfortable. It took me a long time to clean up the stove and walls covered with old oil stains. While I was cleaning, my roommate was eating spaghetti with his legs crossed. I know, after dinner, he will soak the vegetables for several days, waiting for someone to help him wash them conveniently.

Fortunately, at that time, I lived alone in a room, and I didn't have to face the little embarrassment caused by cultural differences every day, and I didn't have to close the door to the stinking kitchen because I didn't throw away the garbage for a few days, so I could enjoy my own little world.

But for students living in dormitories, or people who need to share a room with others because of financial difficulties after work, this is really a gamble that is difficult to get out of.

If you are unlucky, everyone's living habits are very different. There is no choice but to compromise. However, a young body is so easy to bow to others willingly.

Therefore, sharing is more like a helpless choice for modern people. Therefore, the poisoning incident in Fudan, Shanghai, and the murder of my roommate in Ma Jiajue, Yunnan, all made people even more afraid to avoid sharing.

four

There is a question and answer topic on the Internet called "What behaviors of roommates make you most unbearable when sharing a room". The answer accuses roommates of not paying attention to hygiene, using other people's things casually, taking advantage of other people's money and so on. And the tone is full of helplessness.

Finding a roommate is like love at first sight. You have fallen into TA before you fully understand it. It may not be so easy to get out after you really start a relationship. Even friends who have lived together for many years may bring this friendship to an end if they integrate into different living habits.

Sharing is a gamble.

People you think you know better, after living together, there are always some small details that will refresh your view of this person. This detail may warm your heart or make you angry. Not to mention those who find roommates online, it's all luck to get along well.

So why do college roommates exist in a special sense? Occasionally, four years together can make you lifelong old irons, or it may become an indelible pain in your heart.

five

Back to the question of whether we should clean public areas, there is no most accurate answer.

A friend especially likes my request for renting a house, saying that I love such a person with high hygiene requirements, and I also agree that you are responsible for your own garbage. I don't like those casual ones.

Look, it's not a harsh question, it's just a question of suitability. I explained my needs in detail and naturally screened out people who were not suitable for my habits.

Whether the sharing can be harmonious depends on whether it is suitable.

In the traditional public morality, public areas such as balcony, bathroom and living room need to be maintained by people who live together. Don't use other people's things casually, pay the rent on time, clean up your dirty area, etc. These are the principles that ordinary people need to abide by by by default.

However, everyone's living habits and personality are closely related to their own background, and the imprint that has been branded on their bodies for more than 20 years is hard to wear off for a while. The public uses the standard of public morality to measure the sharing behavior, but it is also a moral kidnapping for those who advocate self-enjoyment.

Therefore, for those people, they should live with people who are equally casual, and they should mess together if they want to mess; Love takes advantage, so we strive for private resources in public areas. Or, you can live alone and have fun in your own world. Finally, the time and the landlord will tell them the answer, whether their behavior is reasonable or not.

Of course, this is just an ideal state. Objective conditions limit people's ability to choose roommates, or feel inappropriate to get out as soon as possible.

A few days ago, Sean's cheating video shot Weibo. I ran into Sean and Keaton at home that night, and Rachel Momo, who was derailed, dragged her suitcase away from home overnight, decisive, resolute and not dragging her feet. Some people say that moving out for half a month requires paying rent, right? There must be moving expenses and transportation expenses, right? If a girl wants to live confidently, she must be financially independent.

Sharing is like love. Everyone has his own personality, values and outlook on life. If we can communicate each other's needs well before sharing, treat each other sincerely and compromise with each other in the process of living together, and have the ability and confidence to change roommates after finding it inappropriate to touch the bottom line, this is the real winner of the gambling of sharing.

There is a warm answer to "What behaviors of roommates make you most unbearable when sharing a room". Answer that the Lord was once a self-centered person who had never done housework. But she was lucky to meet someone who was kind and considerate to her unconditionally. She especially appreciates the kindness and thoughtfulness of her former roommate and regrets her selfishness.

Being able to live under one roof is also the fate of a hundred years of hard work. If you treat each other sincerely, problems without habits can't be solved.

Sharing is not easy, and it is alive and cherished.