In the variety show "Wonderful Congress", a girl poked me with one sentence: "There are so many rules and regulations in this world just to tell you that you don't have to fit in.
Come to think of it, it seems that we are bound by the standards of the people around us from birth. Children who can recite Tang poems before they are four years old are smart children. Children who have just entered primary school and got full marks in all subjects are obedient children.
If we don't live according to the so-called correct way, we don't know what will happen in the future, so we are just living according to the standard, and the worst thing to comfort ourselves is to become a "qualified product" on the assembly line.
I saw an interview with Chen Danqing some time ago. Someone asked him if young people were over-expressing themselves.
Teacher Chen Danqing said, "I can't see personality in the expressions of young people now. What I see is * * *, language convergence, text convergence and expression convergence.
Being defined by others to grow up, we think we are qualified, but we don't know that we have lost our personality and grown up like others.
This society defines all kinds of roles: when you are a girl, others will say that girls only need to be stable and not so ambitious; When you are a boy, people will say that boys should be thick and don't dress up every day.
When you become a mother, others will say, you should take care of the children and take care of the family; When you become a father, people will say that you must earn a lot of money to make your family happier.
When you question this, the answer given by society is often: most people do.
I remember there was a debate on whether to drink a potion to get rid of "fear of marriage" in a program of Qi Afraid.
Professor Chu Yin said that he wanted to drink. He said, because we will be the majority, we can't avoid following the choices of the majority. Even if we are afraid, we still have to get married.
I have seen too many people tell us in a condescending manner as a porter that I eat more salt than you do. I tell you my personal experience for your own good, so that you can avoid detours.
But if I am in my twenties and become you in my forties, what should I do in the next twenty years? It's like I'm going to abandon the possibility of life in the next 20 years and become a mature and boring adult.
Recently, a woman named Ye Haiyang has attracted many people's attention. After reading her experience, I feel how worthwhile it is to live a life that is not defined by others.
At the age of 29, she didn't have a boyfriend, but she decided to have a child of her own. Just do as you say and go overseas alone. After fully understanding the personality, experience and background of the sperm owner, she bought three tubes of sperm, and she has been alone from ovulation induction to transplantation to production.
Of course, this matter will not be easily accepted by the world. Because people define marriage as the premise of having children, the complete definition of family is having a father and a mother.
But she didn't live according to secular standards, resisted the incomprehension of people around her, and gave birth to a healthy mixed-race baby on 20 18 with a secular vision.
When her story was put on social platforms, there were attacks and questions, but she didn't care at all. She said: "Everything I have done in my life is my own choice.
She proved with practical actions that a child with only a mother can be very happy. Now, 3 1 year-old Ye Haiyang has his own company and a lovely child. She doesn't importune or avoid love.
If you can meet the right person, welcome each other; If not, run your little family well.
Some people say that she only buys sperm because she has money, but this is only one of the factors. More importantly, she has the courage to break the shackles and shackles.
Living in an era where rules and standards are everywhere, it is more terrible to unconsciously limit yourself than to be defined by others.
"I can't dye my hair red because people will think I'm terrible." "I can't wear the clothes I like, because others will think I'm strange.
But no matter what color hair you dye or what clothes you wear, you don't live like this to flaunt your uniqueness.
It is to find your own corner that conforms to your true face outside the definition of others. Each of us is coming to this world for the first time, and no one has a "mentor" in life.
Never let other people's experiences take the place of your true feelings, because the wonderful degree of your life is far more than what others define.