I. Conflict
1. Normal conflict resolution can teach them good social skills.
E. Mark Kamins, a developmental psychologist at Notre Dame University, told Development Science that mild to moderate conflicts in front of children, including support, compromise and positive emotions, can help them develop better social skills, self-esteem and emotional security, thus contributing to the parent-child relationship and making them perform well in school.
He said: "When children witness a quarrel and see how their parents solve the problem, they are actually happier than before. Because it reassures children that parents can solve problems. "
2. Destructive conflicts will damage children's physical and mental health.
Cummings and his colleagues cited some examples of destructive conflicts, including verbal attacks (such as naming names), insults, abandonment threats and physical attacks (such as beatings and shoving).
According to development science, various studies show that children with high family conflicts will have more physical health problems, emotional problems and social problems in their later lives, including vascular and immune problems, depression and emotional reactions, material dependence, loneliness and intimacy.
According to the researchers, destructive conflicts can also take more negative forms, such as escaping, going out, sulking, retreating or surrendering.
Cummings said that when parents give in or refuse to communicate in order to avoid arguments, children will realize that their emotional response is not positive.
Compared with open conflict, the long-term influence of parents' escape actually has a great influence on children's adaptability. He explained that in this case, children can feel that something is wrong, which will lead to stress, but they don't understand what it is or why, which means it is difficult for them to adapt to external changes.
Chronic stress caused by repeated contact with destructive conflicts will lead to children's anxiety, despair, anger, aggression, behavioral disorders, illness and fatigue. Second, divorce.
1. If the child is divorced when he is young, the relationship with his parents may be bad when he is an adult.
A study by the University of Illinois shows that children are more likely to have unsafe relationships with their parents, especially their fathers, if their parents divorce when they are three to five years old. However, the divorce of parents does not mean that children will feel insecure in their love relationship when they grow up.
In the long run, divorce usually has no other big influence on children.
Various studies analyzed by Scientific American show that although children often experience anxiety, anger, shock and doubt soon after their parents divorce, on the whole, most children from divorced families live well in the long run.
As children from divorced families enter adolescence, their academic performance, emotional and behavioral problems, crimes, self-concept and social relations are not much different from those of children from complete families.
Third, domestic violence.
Some studies have shown that there is a correlation between childhood traumatic events such as domestic violence and eating disorders. This correlation may be attributed to psychology and physiology.
Traumatic children may regard gluttony as a kind of self-treatment, because food can be a comforting escape.
Chronic stress caused by repeated traumatic events will lead to the continuous increase of stress hormones such as cortisol, which will tell the body to store fat and energy. Four. income
1. The decrease of family income caused by divorce may affect children's working memory.
According to a research summary of the University of Illinois, after divorce, the income of guardianship parents (mostly mothers) is usually lower than that of most two-parent families. Due to limited economic resources, children from single-parent families may have more difficulties.
A study by the University of Oregon shows that people who grew up in lower social and economic classes have lower working memory in adulthood.
2. Marriage usually brings higher family income, which may lead to higher SAT scores for children.
Usually, the income of married couples is often higher than that of single-parent families, because they have reduced two salaries and family expenses.
Stanford University researcher Sean? Rearden said, "Compared with children born 25 years ago, the achievement gap between high-income families and low-income families has widened by 30% to 40%."
Dan Pinker, the author of Driving, pointed out that the higher the parents' income, the higher the children's SAT scores. He wrote: "In the absence of comprehensive and effective intervention measures, socio-economic status largely determines educational achievements and performance."
Verb (abbreviation for verb) drug abuse
Children who have witnessed their parents taking drugs or drinking alcohol since childhood may eventually become their parents' "parents".
Because they skip childhood completely, they may become very serious, don't know how to have fun as adults, and are often too responsible.
Sixth, feelings
Parents' good feelings contribute to children's emotional health. Susan orenstein, a psychologist, also told Procter & Gamble Daily: "When a child grows up in a loving family-through physical contact, kind words and deeds, and considerate service to each other-they will naturally be attracted to life partners with these qualities." This will become what a child should look like, because this is what he learned through his parents.
Expressing feelings to your partner can help children feel safer and more stable at home and let them enjoy a happy childhood.