Original slogan: (35 words)
Original translation: (27 words)
My version: (18 words)
All along, I only like free translation, because I think translation is not only to change a sentence from one language to another, but also to correspond to idioms in different occasions and target language areas, in order to truly achieve the best. For example, in summer, the throat is smoking at 40 degrees, so it is best to eat watermelon and drink cold water to soak in the swimming pool. Who knows that girls with cold constitution have their period, even if those things are for relieving summer heat, it is not appropriate to eat, drink and soak? Therefore, translation should first understand the nature of situations and sentences before it can start normally.
As shown above, this sentence appeared on the background board of Zhejiang University's celebration party. In other words, we should translate banners and slogans of celebrations in English-speaking countries.
I will explain my translation ideas by disassembling the key words in the original sentence. According to the three principles summarized by referring to English national slogans, it is easy to translate Chinese original slogans into natural English slogans.
If after reading the original advertisement, the translated version and my version, you think that the bilingual subtitles I inserted in the first picture at the beginning of the text are not good enough, then you don't have to read it. Please forgive me if you can't use grammar analysis. )
There is a lot of translation of the original text on the Internet, and Chinese slogans themselves have language defects. My analytical ability is not enough, so I won't go into details here.
The first step is to search for "school banner of the year" on Google. Judging from the pictures found, most of them are very concise. The most common one is "Celebrating the Year of XXX N", followed by three or five words to highlight the theme. For example, Excellent Education, Hope Against Cancer and Faith in God. If there is no "yes", at most it will be followed by "proud of our past and dedicated to our future" or "leading the educational revolution".
However, since the title of this celebration is 35 words long, please write as little as possible. Look at so many words translated from the original. What a pity that English should be reduced so small on such a big background board.
Therefore, the first principle is established: the less words, the better.
Next, please note that English slogans do not use verbs, and are customarily either nouns or "verbs +ing" with the nature of nouns. This has a great advantage, that is, you don't need to study whether to use the present tense, past tense, present continuous tense, present perfect tense or past perfect tense (wow, I actually remembered the names of these tenses, so I ordered a little red flower for myself first).
So the second principle holds: try to use nouns or quasi-nouns.
Continue to observe that English slogans rarely repeat words except "the". This is also very important in writing. Even if Li Qingzhao's words are "searching, cold and lonely, sad and miserable", they are also overlapping words, not repeated use. I usually make this mistake easily, and I want to avoid it here.
Thus, the third principle is established: don't reuse words.
The translation is officially started below.
I have been used to this word since I was a child, and everyone knows it is false. However, just as every courtier mentioned the son of heaven in ancient times, he had to submit to heaven to show his awe, now when we need to show respect to people, this word is often printed. As a result, our original sincerity was diluted and the taste was quite weak.
In several network and software versions, everyone seems to prefer "our highest respect". I'm not going to discuss who the two words "respect" and "sublime" are the most suitable among the N synonyms in English. In fact, I was inspired by looking up Google pictures and took a fancy to the word "honor". Honor defines "respect with great respect" as a verb and "high respect, great respect" as a noun in Oxford Dictionary. Apart from the word "most" in the original slogan, I think it is enough to solve the problem.
If you want to use "honor" here, according to the second principle of using nouns as much as possible, there are two ways: one is to turn it into a noun "honor", and the other is to use the phrase "in honor of". There are similarities in usage and habituation between them, so we should choose honorific words according to the first principle of using as few words as possible.
When it comes to Google, it is very common to use "honoring" in English school anniversary flyers, such as "honoring our excellent high school students/founders/heroes". The key is to follow "people", which is very useful, because it is necessary to mention "predecessors and sages", that's it!
This word has been translated into "predecessor" in several versions. Literally, it is true, but I think it is more appropriate to use "alumni". Listen, it's a school anniversary. The so-called "predecessors and sages" of course refer to Zhejiang University alumni, not all predecessors who have made contributions. If I applaud and offer flowers for others' achievements on my own school anniversary, I am not so lucky to be drunk in such fraternity. It is not easy to say "alumni who have made great contributions" on people's slogans, but only to express modesty and fear of being misunderstood as arrogance, implying that no one can make "great contributions" except Zhejiang University graduates. However, it is natural that China people are not used to boasting. Because translation is aimed at "outsiders", there is no need to pretend to be a fairy.
As for "fresh", there are many words to choose from. "Outstanding", "exceptional" and "outstanding" are all acceptable. I chose "distinguished" at random, but I just thought the words were longer and I could pretend to be forced, hahaha.
The translation of this word into "exploring the unknown" can be said to be no suspense, even the software knows it. But according to the second principle of using nouns as much as possible, the insertion of this verb is very nerve-racking and boring. Unfortunately, after changing it to "explore the unknown" or "explore the unknown", how to put it is very awkward. For example:
"In recognition of our outstanding alumni's exploration and contribution to the unknown"
Or:
"Pay tribute to our outstanding alumni and thank them for their exploration and contribution to the unknown world ..."
The source of embarrassment is that "the country and the people" must be connected by "harmony", that is to say, there are two "harmony" in one sentence. Violation of the third principle, no.
With a brainwave, I changed "exploration" to "explorer", separated by commas, and modified "outstanding alumni". According to the motto of Zhejiang University, "be realistic and innovative", the original slogan said that the predecessors and sages explored the unknown, so it is appropriate to say that outstanding alumni are "explorers in the unknown".
I don't like "contribution" very much, because I used this word when I mentioned alumni donations. But then I thought about it, just using "grades" might offend alumni who donated money. Without sponsorship, how can the country obtain research results? So let's use the general "contribution"
It is also a typical slogan. Search the usual "country and people" on Google, and you will find that all the terms searched are related to China, including the English South China Morning Post, which fully illustrates the China characteristics of this word. However, there are many things with China characteristics at the celebration, and they are good to wear.
Ok, now combine the five elements, and the effect is as follows.
Original slogan: (35 words)
My version: (18 words)
The basic meaning is there. It looks like an English slogan. Generally speaking, I am satisfied with my translation. If you must compare it with other versions, it is better to catch a foreigner and ask which TA is suitable. I'm sure someone will like this.
Judging from this online review, the "mistakes" of outsourcing translation companies are just the tip of the iceberg, and the bad luck has been magnified. Grammar, word selection and sentence order are all things that artificial intelligence can solve sooner or later. Only the translator's analysis of idioms and occasions can add additional value, so I think free translation is the future of translation. Just as pharmacies and prescriptions can be handed over to machines, it is up to doctors to decide what medicine to take.
Finally, thinking about my translation career, I was very interested and almost got in. I'm afraid I can't live on it in my life. There are so many things to consider in a 35-word advertising language. How can I compete with others who use thousands of words to calculate the price of hundreds of dollars? Let nature take its course, send a message to customers, and just write something when you have time.