A letter to my college son:
I wanted to write to you a long time ago. I always feel that there are many things to explain to you. I always feel that there are many things you don't know enough. I always feel that there are many things you need me to remind you. Ha ha, son, you can't blame me for being so self-righteous, because in the eyes of a father, a son always has to grow up. If you are not in the mood to read on, you can put it down and read a few lines when you are in the mood. No matter how long it takes you to finish reading this letter, I hope you can finally finish reading this letter.
I am forty-two years old. When I reach middle age, I should be more and more clear, bright and calm. I am not surprised, but I have become more and more worried in recent years. HongLing's waist is unstable, but Zhu Yan has lost weight in the mirror? When I left school and walked into life, I recalled your first cry 18 years ago. That was yesterday. However, when I look at myself in the mirror, my youth has become a ravine, my dreams have scattered into my temples, my ambitions have drifted with the wind, my lofty sentiments have drifted into the mud, and my thoughts have drifted away, which will always condense into a melancholy life that I can't shake, flow, wipe and disappear.
A son is a continuation of his father's dream. You were smart and lovely since childhood, and you got excellent grades as a teenager. Entering middle school, I am more self-loving, kind and filial, full of responsibility, calm and full of hope for public assistance. Today, the teachers at school are still full of praise and expectation when they talk about you. Before I went to college, everyone we knew was very famous. I went to school with you. However, when I see the school in a corner, the campus is refreshing but a little narrow, with no ancient buildings and charm, unlike the gathering of masters. In a place where sages gather, you have been in high spirits since childhood. This year, I have been worried all the time, for fear that you will sink.
Son, the narrowness of the environment will only affect the mediocre mind. As long as you don't want to be ordinary, your mind can still hold the whole world.
It's not big, but Beijing is big. Our club is terrible, but there are many clubs in Beijing. I hope you can take advantage of your holiday, go out more and take part in some social practice activities. It is far more valuable for you to take to the streets to help people send small advertisements than to hide in the dormitory behind closed doors. I also hope that you can take the initiative to get to know your colleagues in other universities, participate in their activities, broaden your horizons and broaden your contacts. Your school is not a university aimed at cultivating academic talents, so you must experience your life skills here. You are arrogant and conceited, and you are often passive and passive in interpersonal communication. In fact, in the final analysis, the process of life is also a process of dealing with all kinds of people. In the process of dealing with all kinds of people, we have gained opportunities and achieved our career. Therefore, actively communicating with people is to take the initiative to fight for opportunities. You know, opportunities will never come to you. No one is the center of the universe, and all the stars will revolve around you. The Book of Songs says: Give it papaya, give it Qiong Yao. The more active people are in interpersonal communication, the easier it is to make more friends and the easier it is to succeed. You majored in law. In China, this major requires particularly high interpersonal skills of practitioners.
Youth is a season of hard work in growth. You are still young and have achieved nothing in your studies. Friends should encourage each other, promote each other and make progress together, instead of doing nothing, drinking and chatting, playing games and chatting together to kill time. Among friends, negative emotions are more contagious than positive emotions. If everyone in your circle of friends is positive, optimistic and enthusiastic, then you will certainly benefit a lot from it.
Son, in essence, all your classmates and friends are basically at the same starting point. You have just entered the university and are studying hard, accumulating life experience and enriching social knowledge. Every classmate and every friend is your own social relationship and wealth in life, but after a few years, there will definitely be a gap between the rich and the poor and a disparity in status between you. At that time, no matter how pure and profound your friendship is now, no matter how much your successful classmates cherish your classmate friendship, if you are not successful, you will naturally separate yourself from that circle and you will feel out of place with others. In this way, you will eventually lose your most precious friends and wealth. Therefore, your life path is getting narrower and narrower. Son, life is like this. Always make excellent people better and those who have fallen worse. Look at people in society. The richer they are, the more they can find ways to make money. The richer they are. The poorer they are, the less they get. The poorer they are. You can't complain about social injustice, because this is actually the basic survival law of any society.
So son, any vacation, no matter how long, should have a plan. During the winter and summer vacations, you should go to travel, teaching, social investigation, work and sales in a planned way to experience life, get to know the society, enrich your experience, cultivate new hobbies, and pay special attention to the present situation and development trend of occupations or majors that may be related to your life path.
If a person is ambitious, he often lacks a down-to-earth spirit and disdains it. But? Everything in the world should be done in detail? ,? If you don't sweep a house, why sweep the world? Mao Zedong used to be a librarian in Peking University, while Deng Xiaoping worked as a steel rolling worker in a steel plant, a shoemaker in a rubber factory and a florist in a fan factory during his stay in. You have high self-esteem. If you can't be modest, I'm afraid you won't have a chance to do great things, and you don't want to do small things and waste your youth. Who will easily give a big event to a person? If you don't show your ability in some small things first, how can you win the trust of others and get opportunities? Small things should be done like big things. If others can do it, I will pursue doing better.
When dealing with people, we should be active and sincere, natural and graceful, neither humble nor supercilious. Your position is high, I have no flattery; You are as rich as an enemy, and I am not flattering; You're down and out, and I don't mean to be mean. Friends need help, whether you can do it or not, you should be the first to express your concern and show that you are always by your friend's side. If you can, help as soon as possible; If you can't do it, you should express your comfort at the first time, actively help find a solution, and make your heart change, so that you will have more and more friends and you will become a popular person. Don't haggle over every ounce, be broad-minded and tolerate friends' faults and shortcomings, Confucius explained? Ren? Just loyalty and forgiveness? For interpersonal communication, it is just sincerity and tolerance. "Augmented" said: Forgiving others is not an idiot, and idiots will not forgive others. It means that smart people don't answer blows with blows, but they will answer blows with blows.
Son, the kind of friend who can point out your shortcomings to your face is the most precious wealth that God has given you, so you must cherish it. If a friend has any suggestions, change them, and forgive them if they don't, but you must listen and accept them sincerely and express your gratitude in an appropriate way. Never talk back, even ashamed and angry.
XXX
XXXX。 X. X
A letter to my son in college: Second son:
Liu Xiang, a scholar in the Western Han Dynasty, said: Being less and eager to learn is like being a grandson at the beginning of the day; Strong and eager to learn, such as the light of Japan and China; Being old and eager to learn is like holding a candle. ? You are in the prime of life, full of vigor and vitality, just right? Is the red sun bright when it rises? . Therefore, when the school is the first. The experience of university is also a process of big waves and sand scouring. Even Peking University, even Harvard, will have famous universities with devil incarnate, defective products, hooligans and assholes. You can't step into the threshold of success as soon as you enter the campus. University study depends entirely on self-consciousness and self-control. And you, by chance, are not a person with strong self-control. Chatting with him last night, he also said frankly: among your friends, only? Our self-control is better, but you, Harmony and others have to do worse in this respect.
Maybe when you see this, you will not agree. I know you hate it when I compare you with others. But that's impossible, son. Without comparison, you can't see the difference between good and bad. If there are no advantages and disadvantages in life, naturally we don't need to compare. But this is not the case. We have to compare before we know our present living conditions. Of course, people can be confused for a while, but people can't live in confusion forever.
Son, I often think, why do you hate me when I compare you with others? After all, it's your ego at work. You think highly of yourself. I always compare you with others when I educate you. Such a comparison will certainly hurt your self-esteem. But remember, son, Bill? Gage's words:
? The world won't care about your self-esteem, people will only look at your achievements. Don't overemphasize self-esteem until you achieve something. ?
A person's self-esteem depends on strength. If you think such a comparison result will hurt your self-esteem, please take action to change the comparison result. In fact, society is comparing you with others at any time: when you study, the teacher will compare you with other students; When you work, the boss will compare you with other employees; When you were young, your parents would compare you with other children; When you get married, your wife will also compare you with her friend's husband; When you are a father, your children will also compare you with other people's fathers. If there is no comparison, how can the boss decide who to hire as an employee? If there is no comparison, how can leaders decide who to promote as cadres? If there is no comparison, how a girl decides who to choose as her husband and son, and how many points you rank in the school exam is also a comparison result. When you enter the society, you will feel that there are comparisons everywhere, rankings everywhere and grades everywhere. What you have to do is to make the comparison result favorable to you, make you stand out from others' comparisons, and make you more confident in others' comparisons, instead of rejecting others' comparisons. Refusing to compare is a sign of weakness, a sign of weakness, and a prelude to numbness and sinking.
There seems to be another reason why you hate me comparing you with others, that is, I always seem to compare you with people you think are inferior to you. Son? Is the ruler good or the inch short? If you can find out the strengths of these people who are not as good as you, and what they are worth learning, you will become stronger and stronger. I hope this way can encourage you to make further progress. I don't want you to lament that there are no heroes in the world, so you made the Nazis famous!
Therefore, a person can not only refuse the comparison of others, but also dare to compare himself with others, compare himself with his opponents, strive to improve himself, constantly pursue Excellence and realize the value of life.
Let's go back to the topic of study.
Your study habits are not good. Often satisfied with having a look, having a taste, thinking stays in sensibility, but less rational, so they are often not impressed by what they have read and learned, and their memories are inaccurate, so it is difficult to use them easily. I often look for files on the computer and know that there is such a file, but I just can't remember the file name and can't even start searching. It's like extracting a knowledge from our brain that we can't remember clearly. You can recall your favorite poems. For some famous sentences, you don't know that you have read them until others mention them, but you can't use them easily. In fact, this is all caused by the quality of learning. After you entered the university, I have always stressed that you should read more books and take more notes. During my four years in college, I learned very little directly from my teacher, mainly by looking for relevant books and materials for in-depth self-study under the guidance of my teacher. In my opinion, what you have learned in four years is not reflected in your grades, but more in how many reading notes you have made. You can read four or five million words a year, take hundreds of thousands of words of reading notes, and listen to the teacher in class. Can you deny that you are not satisfied with understanding, but take notes carefully, and that you are focused, systematic, thoughtful, rewarding and innovative? A person's reading notes and listening notes not only reflect his learning quality and thinking characteristics, but also reflect his attitude towards life: a meticulous and conscientious person in life will be labeled with this label in all his work without exception.
At the end of last semester, you told me that one of the gains of this semester was reading some Nietzsche's books. Nietzsche's books can be read. But if I ask you which works of Nietzsche you read, what are the main points of these works? What opinions have a great influence on you? As the pioneer of modern western philosophy, Nietzsche's philosophical theory is admired and admired by many people, but also hated and criticized by many people. Nietzsche's theories are almost always controversial. What do you think of Nietzsche's theory? Nietzsche calls himself? The most complete nihilist in Europe? What are the negative and positive aspects of one of his specific theories you have read? What are the positive inspirations for you?
Son, can you answer these questions now?
When I was a student, I studied to absorb knowledge and nutrition and arm myself. If you study, you will gain something. Never? Good reading, not too much? . I can't finish reading a book, and I remember almost nothing except what I have read.
XXX
XXXX。 X. X
A letter to my son in college:
I know you have been lying, and a kind mother always regards your lying as your advantage. I think: you didn't tell the truth because you were afraid that your mother would be angry. Believe mom, I have no regrets about you, and I am willing to sacrifice everything for you. But you don't understand my mother's heart, so I want to write this letter to you.
I have been in college for two years, and the school is ten miles away from home, and you are still far away. On the Mid-Autumn Festival, I came to see you with moon cakes in the rain, but I only saw your back. You walk into a bar with a girl in your arms. I hid in front of the bar window for three hours that night. Rain makes me tremble, tears make my heart bleed. I know your temper, and I'm afraid to call you because I'm dressed very vulgar. I saw you drink too much wine. It's late at night, and you carry her out again. Hiding aside, I was thinking: how happy I would be if you could look at my mother's back like Zhu Ziqing. On the night of Mid-Autumn Festival, my lonely mother fell ill. Later you said: Oh, Mid-Autumn Night? The school organization has been full of vitality.
It was mom's birthday, so you called me to say happy birthday. My tears of excitement haven't dried yet, and you want me to put the money on your card. You said you wanted to buy information, and you also said you wanted to give love. Actually, mom knows that your fourth girlfriend's abortion costs money. Son, you don't know. Your classmates have told me. Do you remember? When your second girlfriend was in the gynecological ward, her mother quietly brought chicken soup, and her mother stuffed 500 yuan under her pillow. Every time I enter the ward, you leave in a hurry. She asked me who I was, and you said I was a caring volunteer. I'm sorry to hear this outside the door. But I won't blame you for thinking that you are the meat that fell from me.
Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of your father's death. I want to test whether you remember, so I used my colleague's qq to chat with you. I didn't know you had completely changed. I couldn't believe you were my son. You talk too much about pursuing women, just like an old hand in love. I was confused at that time. Aren't you still in love with your fourth girlfriend? Son, you still say? Father doesn't want mother to love only girls? In that case. I forgave you with tears. Because it's my fault, I used someone else's qq number to chat with you. Son, forgive mom, I was wrong.