Parental opposition

People who have experienced it should understand that the saddest feeling in this process is that they are not trusted. First, you are not trusted by your parents. Your parents don't believe in your love, so you can choose a good partner by yourself. In other words, they don't value your feelings or trust your abilities. In this process, lovers are likely to gradually lose their sense of security, because not being accepted by their parents is also a stressful thing, and this kind of suspicion and rejection is a bit unexpected, which makes people feel wronged and angry. Once your lover loses his sense of security, he will ask you to do more. At this time, if what you do always goes against his will and has no effect, then the distrust of your lover will follow. In this way, you will face double distrust, and there is hardly a worse scene.

What does this mean?

It means that you have communication problems with your past parents and lovers. What's the problem? There is a lack of mutual understanding and communication between you, and it is precisely because of this lack of understanding that there is so much distrust and doubt. And they not only don't know you, they don't believe in your independence, and they don't believe that you are an adult who can be responsible for your choices. So this kind of opposition is ostensibly against this relationship, but behind it is an ignorance of you as a whole and a doubt about your ability to choose and independence.

If communication is not good all the time, it may be a problem of mutual emotion or mutual expression ability, and emotional management ability and expression ability are both more and more important core abilities in future life.

In other words, these problems are not specific or sudden. Ignorance, distrust, emotional out of control, and inadequate expression will always bring various problems, and will not disappear just because you have changed a lover that satisfies your parents. So, if you really encounter this situation, try to turn this sad thing into an opportunity to remind yourself to learn and improve emotional management skills. With the improvement of my ability, it is possible to save my lover and convince my parents, and it is also possible to make my next love smoother and my married life happier.

Apart from communication problems, there is also a special situation in which parents oppose your relations. Parents are our most familiar strangers. Why do you say that? Our understanding of parents is often from the perspective of children, and we seldom observe and know them as two independent adults, and feel the joys and sorrows they are experiencing as two adults. or vice versa, Dallas to the auditorium In their perspective, parents always treat us as children and forget that we are independent adults like them.

But even so, parents may know us better than we thought. They have already experienced love and life. Although people's love and life are different in different times, they have also experienced the passion in love and the preparation needed by life itself.

Probably, the reason why parents object is that they see something you don't pay attention to. For example, you think that you can accept a poor life for love, but parents know that no matter how great love is, life is more important when the background of love fades and two people gradually become dull. That is to say, what your parents oppose is not your love, but the life they speculate that this love will bring you. They don't want you to live that life. They think you can't stand it.

Therefore, when parents object, you should ask them what kind of thinking they came to the conclusion, give them more patience and listen to him slowly. In communication, especially in the face of doubts and objections, we often express our ideas in a hurry, but forget to listen, and the key to solving problems is probably hidden in listening.

Listen to your parents' thoughts, suppose what they say may be reasonable, and try to understand their logic. In this way, whether you want to agree or argue with your parents, you can know how to deal with their problems and when to consider their suggestions and when not to listen.

In short, don't worry, communicate fully. As long as you have the ability to live independently and let your parents gradually discover that you are really happy and safe, your parents will support your choice. Even if it is difficult to get their support, as long as you are sure that you can be happy, then move forward firmly.

The opposition of the other parent.

Then at this time, the problems of understanding, communication, trust and emotional management between you and your parents will be exposed in advance. These problems will be exposed in the future even if they are not exposed now. So as mentioned above, his parents seem to be against you, but the core problem is actually more than that.

His parents are not necessarily aimed at you, even if they are aimed at some labels on you, such as education, looks, income, family background and so on. They are not really targeting you, they are targeting you in their imagination. I hope you don't lose confidence in yourself because of their opposition.

One more thing is certain, your lover, perhaps called ex now, really can't love you and live with you independently without parents. This is inseparable, either spiritual dependence or material dependence. As long as this dependence does not change, even if you go through hardships and even compromise, you may encounter bigger problems in the future.

Get love equally, don't compromise, because in the end you will live together for a long time. No one should always wronged himself in life, and no one can persist in the feelings of compromise.

Finally, I want to talk about this matter from the perspective of [demand].

Getting parents' support and blessing in love and marriage is a demand that many children will have, including both emotional needs and material needs. Under the influence of all kinds of love stories, we think that the support and blessing of parents are the standard of love, so when parents object, we are often caught off guard and feel sad, because our ideal love and parents are not like this.

But in fact, this demand itself is not taken for granted. It is beautiful and lucky to have the support and blessing of parents, but it is normal to have no support and blessing of parents. After all, people in different times have different understandings of love and life. They know your expectations of love and your understanding of lovers in Xu Bule. Therefore, if you can let go of your obsession with your parents' support and blessings, and let your lover let go of such obsession, you will let go of a lot of anxiety and accusations. At this time, it will be easier to win the support and blessing of parents.

If a relationship wants to be happy for a long time, the equality and independence of a small family and a big family is very important. Because the connection based on blood relationship is natural, but equality and independence are the goals that we need to achieve by our own efforts and wisdom.

The core problem reflected by parents' opposition to breaking up because of love is the lack of equality and independence, which is the homework that each of us needs to complete in Origin and Fate. The better we accomplish, the happier our relationship and life with our lover will be.

So, I hope to meet you here, and then I will try my best to increase my understanding and trust in my parents and lover, and also improve my ability to gain equality and independence. Come on!