The child was born with a blank sheet of paper. They are very pure and simple. As children grow up and understand, they learn more and more. When children begin to know the world, parents should establish a correct attitude towards life for their children.
independent
When children grow up slowly, the first thing to learn is to stand on their own feet. For example, when you are 2-3 years old, you should learn to eat by yourself. When you are 5-6 years old, you should learn to wash your socks and fold the quilt yourself. 10 years old goes to school alone, etc. With the growth of age, children should be allowed to experience and perceive the world, and let them do it themselves, rather than parents doing it for their children. For example, breastfeeding, this is very common. Over time, children will not or will not eat by themselves, and it is natural that parents should feed them.
What children should learn is to do their own thing. Only by doing it yourself can you realize the difficulty. Encourage children to help their parents do more housework. When your child 16- 17 years old, you can even let your child do holiday work and work-study programs to experience the difficulty of making money and the sense of accomplishment of making the first money through your own efforts. Parents' sufferings can only be easily understood if they have experienced them personally.
Tell me about my friend. They grew up in an ordinary family and have been boarding since junior high school. They do almost everything by themselves. Their parents are farmers and don't know much, but as long as they want to do what they want and don't violate the principle, their parents allow their children to do it themselves. Exercise since childhood. Now I am 30 years old, with a successful career, living and working in peace and contentment, and being very filial.
On the other hand, I saw the gold medal agent two days ago. In the story, my mother dotes on her son. When she was in her twenties, she had to buy clothes to wash. She has nothing to do and is heavily in debt. Her mother was eager to love her son and used her pension to pay off her debts. Even so, her son didn't realize his parents' hard work and didn't have much gratitude. Why? Because he got too much from his parents since he was a child, he didn't know how to repay them.
Therefore, it is better to educate children, think 10,000 times, listen 10,000 times, say 10,000 times, and let them work hard. Needless to say, you can naturally understand from the heart.
The son of the subject is actually a microcosm of many peers. Nowadays, almost all young people lack a sense of gratitude.
Why is this happening? Who is in charge? It is parents, grandparents, grandparents who overindulge or even spoil their children when they are young.
For children born in the family planning era, boys are little emperors and girls are little princesses. As only children, they are the apple of their parents' eye. Therefore, love more and care more. At home, a child is coaxed, used, loved and responsive by several elders, all of which are spoiled. Therefore, children have never suffered since childhood, and those who have never suffered setbacks and hardships do not know what bitterness is, so they do not know what sweetness is and are not comparable. No wonder they don't know how to be blessed and how hard it is for their parents to pay. Society is also a big dye vat. Influenced by some unhealthy phenomena, the "three views" of young people have gradually formed. Therefore, most young people nowadays lack the spirit of hard work and gratitude, and their will is weak.
In order to urge parents not to spoil their children. Good family education is conducive to the healthy growth of children's body and mind.
That's because you were too spoiled before, making children feel that their parents' upbringing is taken for granted, and their mentality is not yet mature. This is the child's mentality.
To let children know the hardships of their parents, you have to let them take care of themselves and be independent. In this process, he can appreciate the hardships. With such feelings, he can push himself and others and feel the hardships of his parents.
My son has gone to college. Why don't you know the hard work of his parents? This is a problem with your education. You spoil your children too much to let them suffer. Children who "soak" in honey water have no idea of the hardships of life. Charles, an English philosopher, said, "Sow an idea to reap an action, sow an action to reap a habit, sow a habit to reap a character, sow a character to reap a destiny." If children want to understand their parents' hard work and be grateful, they should set an example and cultivate their independence, so that they can feel the hard-won life from an early age, and only through hard struggle and hard work can they be rewarded.
Today's children live in a sunny era, which can be said to be: good conditions, few accidents, love from parents, concern from relatives and friends, and happiness from teachers and classmates! More children live well. From kindergarten to university, I have been shouldering the pressure and heavy responsibility of further education, and I am also a pure consumer. There are few opportunities to experience life, not to mention the hard work of parents!
2. Seeing other people's parents' hard work will remind you of your parents and appreciate their difficulties.
3. When a class meeting is held at school, children will cry when they hear "mother by candlelight" or "father" and other people's stories.
As we say, "I don't know how expensive rice is if I don't take care of my family", "I don't know how to repay my mother if I don't hold my baby" and "I have no conscience if I don't rest" ...
It is better to see than to do.
"Time will hone a person and time will make people grow." So I was a child when I went to college, and I didn't really go out to the society to feel the ups and downs of life. Give the children more time!
Life is rich and there are many temptations. College students are studying, taking exams, playing games, spending money, making friends, falling in love, and occasionally eating ... "Li Bai is very busy, and I am busier than him ..." Parents settle down and ask for money, and children may ignore their parents when they are busy!
Some children love to express, can express, and are close to their parents, and there are more girls.
Some children are introverted, do not like to express, and cannot express. In fact, they love their parents in their hearts. There are many boys in this situation.
I only hope that parents who want a more harmonious parent-child relationship will listen to the following suggestions:
You said that children have gone to college and still don't know how to appreciate their parents' hard work. There may be these reasons.
First, children have not participated in labor, have not experienced hardship, and do not know the concept of hardship. Children are at home, clothes are within reach and food is within reach. They have never taken part in labor or their parents' work. I wonder how difficult it is for parents to make money. In addition, there are not many children at home now, and I have enjoyed the love of my grandparents and many other relatives since I was a child. There may be a kind of heart, which should be like this for me, and I don't need to return it. I don't know that my parents' hearts also need warmth.
Second, no matter how clever a person is, he is also stupid, but his mind is lofty. Because I was too proud to take these things to heart. It has been reported before that a student admitted to Peking University, his parents went to school to watch him camping, and there was really no warm words. These students don't know if they are too smart, so they internalize all this and show themselves.
Third, there is a lack of guidance and education. We should educate our children at home from an early age, be polite to others and be grateful to those who have helped us. We can't wait for the problem to come out, mend it after it is too late, or don't know how to mend it.
Still naive, check it yourself!
Do what you want and don't expect anything in return. Or not to do it. Complaints are bitter. Expectations are binding.
Tracing back to the source, let's first analyze why children don't understand their parents and have no gratitude:
The above is my preliminary analysis of this problem. Let's see why children don't understand their parents and have no gratitude.
Everyone knows that parents' love is the most selfless and asks for nothing in return. Most parents will leave the best for their children, no matter how hard or tired they are, but when the water is full, it will overflow, and so will love. Excessive love turned into doting.
1. Mistake "doting" as love, and love for children has no bottom line.
This is a true portrayal of most parents, who mistake doting for making love and doting on their children everywhere, with no bottom line. Spoil children from an early age, give them whatever they want, fearing that they will melt in their mouths and fall into their hands. I would rather suffer by myself, leave the best to my children and give them whatever they want. Obviously, it is just an ordinary family, but it has raised the children alive.
In life, children are never allowed to interfere in housework.
As a member of the family, children have the responsibility and obligation to participate in housework. First, they can exercise their practical ability and personal life ability. Second, by doing housework, children can appreciate the hardships and difficulties of their parents. Obviously, you didn't give them such an opportunity.
3. Being too satisfied with money makes children feel that money is hard to come by.
We must establish a correct view of money for children from an early age, so that children can understand that money is hard-won and is earned by parents through hard work. Obviously, you have been "enriching" your children since you were a child, and you have never received a bitter education. You let your children squander all your savings. You have been used to pleasure since you were a child, and you have never suffered. How can you suddenly change your position when you grow up? That's impossible, wishful thinking, daydreaming.
Summary: Parents' overindulgence is a knife that hurts children. Since childhood, a "cancer" has been planted in his mind. Children who grow up in honeypots are like tofu dregs no matter how they eat, and loving mothers often fail. Everything comes from parents' doting.
1. Parents didn't teach their children to be grateful.
Qualified parents should not only attach importance to their children's learning, but also let their children develop in an all-round way, especially the cultivation of their quality. A person's quality has a great relationship with his future success.
When children are young, parents should cultivate their children's gratitude, gratitude to parents, gratitude to others, gratitude to society and gratitude to themselves, so that children can know that they are not an individual, but are related to all aspects of society.
2. Compassion ability
In life, parents hold their children in the commanding heights, condescending and above their parents, just like the little emperor and princess at home, and parents are like slaves who serve their masters.
Why can't your children understand your hard work? Because you let children learn to put themselves in their own shoes and fix themselves in the most enjoyable position. They only know "Chinese food on the plate" and don't know that "every grain is hard". They have never accepted the difficulties at home and don't understand empathy.
3. There is no education that makes children suffer hardships and setbacks.
Before children go to college, it should be smooth sailing. Not to mention studying, they have never suffered setbacks or hardships in life. Parents must have resisted everything for their children and made them smooth sailing, which made them feel that their life was too smooth, and it was the result of their own efforts, not the hard work of their parents.
Summary: Parents' lack of education other than study is the key to children's ungrateful. The fault lies not with the children, but with the parents. Spoiling is not love, but harm, which leads to children's ignorance of parents and gratitude.
What should parents do to change their children's present situation?
What parents should do:
1. Sit down and have a good talk with your children and tell them all about the past years.
Parents take advantage of their children at home, close the door and have a good talk with them, let them know how you have paid for them in the past, how much you cried and how tired you are, and let them know the current situation at home and their income.
If you don't give him a push and protect him too well, he will never grow up. Just like in many TV dramas, why do many people's parents suddenly die, leaving their children alone to suffer and stress? The death of parents brings the maturity and independence of children. But this price is a bit high. The purpose of the screenwriter is to tell the audience that an immature person who has never experienced anything will be executed if he wants to grow up and mature.
2. Reduce children's living expenses
Reduce living expenses, cut off some children's financial resources, make their quality of life decline, force them to experience a different life, let them know how happy they were before, stimulate their thinking, and let them understand through comparison.
3. Encourage children to try some part-time jobs and experience life.
Now the children should still be at home on vacation. When school starts in autumn, they can talk to their children. After school starts, they will try to do some part-time jobs in the city where they go to college and try to make money by themselves. By making money, he can understand the difficulty of life and how the money came from, and he will naturally understand the hard work of his parents.
Summary: Parents' beloved son is a plan. Farsighted parents are generally cruel. Parents must be willing to let their children suffer, experience life and put themselves in their shoes in order to understand their parents' difficulties.
To sum up, parents are the best teachers for children, so we should educate children in many ways, not only in study, but also in unrestrained love in life. They should make children feel grateful, learn to put themselves in others' shoes, understand others and be kind to others, not just spoil them.
I'm Feng Runchun from Yusi, and I hope I can help you.