Analysis and Countermeasures of Contemporary College Students' Psychological Characteristics of Love
Paper Keywords: college students love psychology online dating psychology
With the changes of society and the progress of science and technology, especially with the advent of the information age, the rapid development of the internet, the subtle influence of people's values and the social environment, the psychology of "love" of contemporary college students based on sexual psychology and "online love" psychology has undergone significant changes. Under the new conditions, it is an important task of college students' education management to understand their love psychology and actively do a good job in guiding education.
With the gradual improvement of people's material living standards and the influence of social environment changes, college students' puberty and sexual consciousness germinated earlier, and sexual freedom, sexual exaggeration, sexual exposure and pornographic books and periodicals increased, which made contemporary college students' sexual attitude increasingly open and the binding force of traditional moral supervision decreased. As a physiological and psychological phenomenon, sex is closely related to people's health and happiness throughout their lives. Especially as a group of highly educated college students in adolescence, they are in the prosperous period of individual maturity. The development of individual psychology and physiology in this period is full of risks and the most challenging. Their sexual health problems deserve our double attention and discussion.
A The sexual psychology and "love" psychology of contemporary college students have changed significantly.
With the advent of the information age and the rapid development of the Internet, online life has gradually become an indispensable part of people's lives. As the owners of advanced cultural knowledge, new ideas and new concepts, college students are more qualified to participate in online life. "Online dating" is not a new word among college students. The phenomenon of college students' "online love" is common on campus, which has caused many emotional, psychological and social problems. Therefore, it is an important task for college students' education and management to understand their love psychology under the new situation and actively guide and educate them.
College students have entered adolescence. Due to the rapid development of hypothalamus and anterior pituitary gland, the secretion of gonadotropin and gonadotropin increased, and the secretion level of gonadotropin also increased to adult level, and sex began to mature. With the maturity of sexual development, college students' sexual desire consciousness is getting stronger and stronger. But they are both mature and immature. From the sociological point of view, the social psychology of college students is not fully mature, and their sense of social responsibility, moral concept, attitude towards love and the handling of the relationship between love and learning are not mature. "
On June 28, 2004, 65438, the results of the national survey on sexual civilization of college students were announced in Chengdu, and more than 60% of college students agreed to premarital sex. The survey was conducted by the research group "Sexual Status of Contemporary College Students in China and Exploration of Sexual Education Practice", and * * * conducted a survey of college students in 26 universities across the country, which is the largest survey of college students' sexual civilization in China so far. According to the survey results, 32% of people said that they can have sex if they want, 20% said they can have sex based on love, 7% said it will help them adapt to their future marriage life, 8% said they can get married innocently, and the four items add up to more than 60%. Compared with the data of 1990 national civilization survey, the proportion of college students who think that "it will cause social problems and should be morally condemned" has declined; The proportion of "both sides are willing" has increased by 26%. Facing the sexual demands of their lover, college students adopt the following attitudes in turn: 60% are "reasonable and help to restrain", 13% are "calmly and flatly refused", and 12% are "committed to perfection for fear of losing him or her". On the issue of premarital sex, women are more cautious: 70% of female college students will proceed from rationality when dealing with their lovers' sexual demands, and strive to maintain their "sexual purity" and their feelings, so as to "convince people by reasoning and help them restrain"; The proportion of resolutely defending their "sexual purity" and "calmly and flatly refusing" is three times that of male college students.
It can be seen that most college students understand premarital sexual relations. College students have reached the age of physical maturity and become more precocious psychologically. In the process of love, the demand for sex is a natural thing, and most of them hope to have a love with a unified spirit and body. However, because China society is still secretive about sexual issues and adolescent education is also lacking, most college students are still modern in concept and conservative in action. Therefore, sexual impulse and sexual repression still often plague them. A college student said that the air around us is so tense that everyone looks at this problem with a guilty eye. There is no room for discussion and no solution can be found. Another female college student always takes advantage of her roommate's weekend to go home and live with her boyfriend. Inner tension, classmates' strange eyes and surrounding pressure always make her feel guilty. Therefore, a doctor of "Sex and Health" said that this generation of young people "are not as naive and ignorant as their predecessors, nor can they pursue sexual liberation unscrupulously as in the 1960 s in the West, but can only suffer in the cracks."
Second, the new trend of "online love" psychology of contemporary college students
According to an online survey conducted by China Internet Information Center, among the netizens in China in 200 1 year, 85.98% were young people aged 18-30, while 84.67% had college education or above. A sample survey in Tsinghua University shows that the Internet access rate of college students is as high as 88%. College students have a strong thirst for knowledge, curiosity and the spirit of exploring new things. As a new thing, online dating also attracts college students. With the rapid development and popularization of the Internet, online dating, a special way of love, is becoming a "fate sky" for contemporary college students. From March to April, 2003, relevant surveys were conducted in Tsinghua University, Peking University, Renmin University of China, Beijing Normal University, Beijing Institute of Technology and Beijing Foreign Studies University. This survey is a random survey. 600 questionnaires were distributed among the above-mentioned undergraduates, and 5 16 valid questionnaires were recovered. Among the college students surveyed, 52% are boys and 48% are girls. The oldest is 25 years old and the youngest is 17 years old. College students from cities, towns and rural areas account for 62%, 27% and 1 1% respectively. According to the survey, more than 40% of college students think that online dating is possible, and more than 60% of college students hold a neutral attitude towards online dating. College students' online dating psychology has also undergone great changes, and some new trends have emerged.
In order to investigate the personality tendency of college students, the author makes a rough classification of their personalities, classifying those who choose "dare to try and be the first" as "avant-garde", those who choose "wait until they are mature before making a decision" as "rational" and those who choose "I will do what others do" as "conformity". According to the survey data, among 38 college students who have online dating experience, "rational" online lovers account for 53%, slightly higher than "avant-garde" online lovers (45%). It can be seen that the "avant-garde" personality is not necessarily easier for online dating. The survey also found that 55% of online dating college students have had the experience of lovelorn. This shows that college students who have suffered emotional trauma or lovelorn are more likely to try online dating. According to Maslow's demand theory, human needs are divided into five levels from low to high, namely, physiological needs, security needs, love and subordination needs, respect needs and self-realization needs. College students at the level of "love and subordination" need the acceptance, care, appreciation and understanding of others. When they can't get this demand in real life or suffer setbacks and trauma in this respect, they will transfer this demand and find other ways to compensate. The timely appearance of the network just caters to this demand of college students.
Usually, the behavior of peer groups is conformity, so is the problem of online dating. The survey results show that the vast majority (92%) of college students have had online dating experience, and some people around them have had similar experiences. From the perspective of interpersonal communication, peers who have great similarities in family background, ideas and hobbies are most likely to have interpersonal attraction and mutual influence. College students are all young people around the age of 20, who have strong learning ability and get along with each other day and night, so the influence of the surrounding environment, especially peer groups, will be more significant. Seeing my classmates online dating around me, although I didn't follow blindly subjectively, online dating occupied a certain space in my subconscious, and it was easier to try once I had the opportunity. It is the exemplary role of this peer group that makes more and more college students try online dating. Most college students in online dating come from cities, which is consistent with our experience. After all, college students in relatively developed areas spend more time "touching the net" and have less rejection of new things, so online dating is more likely. Those college students from relatively backward rural areas are more likely to be bound by traditional ideas, conservative in thinking, obedient in doing things, and more inclined to adopt traditional methods in emotional issues.
Faced with more and more online dating on campus, what attitude do college students take? According to the survey, most (65%) college students hold a neutral attitude towards online dating, and neither explicitly object nor openly agree. However, only a few people clearly agree (accounting for 12%) or oppose (accounting for 24%) online dating. However, respondents' answers to whether online dating is likely to succeed are quite different. 8% of the respondents think it is possible, 36% think it is possible, 28% think it is uncertain, and 25% and 4% choose it is impossible and absolutely impossible. Generally speaking, there are more college students who are optimistic about the success of online dating. Optimists believe that online dating pays more attention to the communication between thoughts and hearts, and love based on this should be stronger and have a greater chance of success. Pessimists, on the other hand, believe that online chatting is a relatively simple way of understanding in the early days of online dating, which makes the two sides lack real contact and understanding, and it is easy to "see the light die."
Network is a virtual world, which is very different from the real world. College students can show their virtual personality on the Internet, or they can show their real personality on the Internet. However, some college students have created a virtual self on the Internet, hoping to use this virtual self to get love or a kind of self-satisfaction that can't be obtained in daily life. This is not a problem for students who can freely control online personality or real personality transformation, but it is a good way to get rid of real depression and adjust psychological balance. However, some college students can't flexibly convert their online personality into their real life personality, thus gradually causing their own personality split or other obstacles. Online dating always has too many illusions and low credibility. Many "online lovers" are mostly people who wear masks to wander around the tennis world. These people don't need to explain, because the difference between explanation and cover-up basically doesn't exist on the Internet. In addition, in China, there is no complete network legal system to effectively restrain and manage network life. The only thing we can use now is the invisible criterion of network morality, which is "invisible" after all. Frankly speaking, the quality of netizens still needs to be doubted. Therefore, "online dating" without legal protection is like a flower in the fog and a moon in the water. Before the basic legal system of the network is complete, this has always been a basic tendency of making friends online. I hope this problem can arouse the vigilance of college students who are keen on "online dating".
Third, correctly treat the love psychology of contemporary college students.
In view of the remarkable changes of contemporary college students' love psychology, the author believes that our educators should analyze specific problems in practical work and adopt flexible and novel ways to correctly treat the changes of contemporary college students' "sex" psychology and the new trend of "online love" psychology.
First of all, correct the attitude and position of love. Strengthen the love education for college students, and make them deeply realize that love is not only a right, but also a responsibility and obligation, and we must treat love with a highly responsible attitude. The unity of rights and responsibilities is the foundation of love life. Love plays an important role in life. Life without love is imperfect, but love is not the fundamental purpose of life, nor is it the whole of life. It is pale to live only for love. Clearly adhere to the viewpoint of academic priority, so that college students can understand that today's study is closely related to their future careers, and it is also the basis of a happy love. The practice of falling in love without reading not only hinders the achievement of career, but also makes it difficult to get happy love, so it is not only stupid, but also pathetic.
Secondly, carry out rich collective activities, divert students' attention and attach importance to the cultivation of students' quality. Often organizing some extracurricular interest groups and collective activities can not only enhance physical fitness and exercise, but also relieve their anxiety and depression, and effectively transfer and vent their sexual impulses in youth. At the same time, the sexual impulses that often appear in youth, whether internal or external, must be channeled in a reasonable way. For people with mature personality, proper consciousness adjustment and reasonable sublimation are effective treatment methods. In fact, any healthy and beneficial interest activity is an effective way to transfer and vent sexual impulses, which can alleviate their anxiety and depression. Combining sex education with cultivating college students' hobbies is also an effective way to improve college students' sexual mental health. For example, the activity of "Memories of Heartbeat and Your Spring Love Song" organized by Shanghai University School of Business Administration is a good example. The activity was conducted in a relaxed and humorous atmosphere, and the concept of love of contemporary college students was deeply discussed in the form of teacher-student interaction. Psychological counseling teachers and college counselors participate in the discussion as guests and classmates. Through the live interview with the interview host, the guest teachers and students shared their mental journey. Campus singers' just-right singing skills lead to * * * singing skills, and love test games push the interaction between teachers and students to a climax. DV works written, directed and performed by members of Deng Research Association of the College are a highlight of this activity, which has benefited students a lot in this unique love class.
Thirdly, educate students about love and marriage, and guide them to know about "online dating" positively. College students' love and marriage education is a social system project involving schools, society and families. In view of the characteristics of college students' adolescence, we must not crack down on repression or sit idly by, but should face up to and deal with the problem of "online love" so that students can deepen their understanding of "online love" from the ideological and psychological levels.
Finally. We should strengthen the sexual psychology, sexual morality and personality education of college students. The focus of sexual psychological education should be to guide them to treat sexual desire and sexual impulse correctly and understand that sexual desire is restricted by social moral norms and laws. Sex is not only a personal life problem, but also a serious social problem. Make a balanced transition of sexual adaptation and consciously control sexual desire and sexual impulse. Sexual morality is a part of individual morality and the result of internalization of social moral norms. The internalization of moral concepts needs external education to guide them to know more about China's national conditions and social responsibilities, so that they can have a healthy psychology of choosing a spouse and falling in love in college life, understand the adverse consequences of premarital sex on the parties, and learn to treat setbacks in love with self-esteem and self-improvement. At the same time, abide by national laws and regulations and consciously resist illegal activities such as prostitution and whoring. Therefore, college students' health education, especially sex education, must be combined with quality education to improve their psychological quality and promote their physical and mental health development.
The relationship between sex and personality is mutually compatible and restrictive. On the one hand, personality is the sum of individual psychological characteristics. Including sexual psychological factors, the health of sexual psychology is directly related to the health level of personality. On the other hand, any sexual activity of an individual reflects his personality traits. The maturity of personality affects the development level of individual sexual psychology. Freud once equated the development of personality with the development of individual psychology in his theory of personality development, which shows the close relationship between visibility and personality. Combining college students' sex education with personality education is to combine the law of college students' sexual psychological development, conduct comprehensive education in social values, moral consciousness, gender role, personal will quality, psychological adjustment ability, social adaptability and other aspects, coordinate the relationship between sexual psychological development and personality development, and narrow the imbalance between sexual maturity and personality maturity. At the same time, we should also improve the quality of sexual psychology, so that the development of individual sexual psychology can be adjusted through good self-awareness on the basis of adapting to social values and moral consciousness, and then promote the healthy and stable development of personality.
In short, as Professor Wu Jieping, a famous sexologist in China, said, "Among contemporary college students, it is a habit to have the determination to overcome the psychological problems of love, so don't worry about it in the future. This will not have any adverse consequences. " Only in this way can we reduce the unnecessary psychological burden and promote their healthy physical and mental development. Love plays an important role in people's life, and college life is often a turning point in life. How to deal with the relationship between them is undoubtedly a life topic worth pondering.