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Author: Xue?

1

The voice in the living room seems to have drifted away. This is the fourth day after my sister's accident. It seems that relatives and friends are still eager to express sympathy. Walking into our house is like walking into our own yard. Mom and dad are so tired of greeting this group of sympathizers that they are too busy to shed tears in the middle of the night. I think their tears have probably dried up! Who would have thought that such a girl in the mood for love would end her life with her own hands so easily? So heartless, so reluctant? My dear sister, can you tell me why? !

There is a fragrance in the air, and it's dead, sister. You really left. Looking around, Lala is full of your things, including your favorite colorful wind chimes, the white shirts and jeans you bought when you went shopping with me freshman year, and some clothes and decorations that I have never seen before. I think you must have changed a lot when you went to college, because you actually started wearing the red clothes that you hated most before. I rummaged through the contents of the paper box, as if there was a familiar smell on it.

"To My Beloved Qing Fanshang" I looked at the boy in the photo, dark and chubby. Sister, is this the boy you loved on the phone before? You look so happy and happy in the photo, snuggling on his shoulder, and the university pool in the background shines for you. However, he didn't show up at your funeral. There is a strange boy who claims to be your friend. I don't know who he is, but he cried at the ceremony. Your relationship should be more than just friends, right? But, sister, to be honest, I didn't like him from the first moment I saw him. Although he is tall, Shuai Shuai, his sly eyes are wrong to me. Would you like such a boy? I'm a little skeptical.

When I put the photo aside, a lot of books appeared in the box, such as philology, explaining Chinese characters, the history of China literature and Du Li's poems, all of which I couldn't understand. Sister, that's what the Chinese department is reading. The world in ancient books is beyond my comprehension as an international trade student. You often say that I am more rational than you. I think you are right. I know nothing about you from the past to the present. I sighed, and continued to rummage. My parents are probably afraid of seeing things and missing you, and they haven't sorted it out yet. A blue book with a gold border was pressed at the bottom of the box, and I took it out hard. Diary? ! The floating two Chinese characters made my heart twitch. Less than one-fifth of the white pages are black and gray. Have you been writing this diary for a long time? Long enough to know why you killed yourself. I trembled and turned to the first page. The time is 1983 10/5, just after your freshman year. .....

When I walk, you hold my shadow like a corridor.

2

Juanxiu's fonts are neatly arranged, and even the typos are erased with Likelibai. Sister, are you full of expectations and plans for your college life?

June 65438+10/October 65438+May 83 The weather was fine.

It has been five days since I came to Danshui. It's a simple town with a lot of cars, but generally speaking, there are mountains and water, which should be a very good reading environment. There are ten people living in our dormitory. When I first moved in, I was really a little unaccustomed. Watching my parents and brothers come and go, helping them sort things out, and then looking at myself, when I am alone, I have to do everything myself, and I feel a little sad. But do I miss home? Maybe, a little! But this is the beginning of my new life, so please cheer up! I went to buy a diary, saved a little bit of college life, and recalled it later. Isn't it wonderful? ! I guess ...

June 65438+10/October 65438+June 683 The weather was fine.

I don't know where I got the courage to choose cadres in my class today, so I raised my hand and became an assistant. It means you don't have to do anything to minor in art, but you still have to learn art! That male classmate is good-looking, but unfortunately he doesn't look energetic. Forget it, it's none of my business! By the way, I went to dinner with my roommate today. There is a girl named Mingzhu who is very lively. We should be good friends. But the other one, what's her name, looks a little annoying. I think she is a little proud because she is tall and fashionable. I don't think she is beautiful. Ok, it's time to go to bed. There are still seven classes to attend tomorrow!

Sister, you have been quite withdrawn since you were a child. You must be very uncomfortable living with nine other people, right? I remember when you first went to Taipei, you had three boxes of luggage. Mom and dad said they had to go to work, so they didn't have time to accompany you. Besides, I was a senior in high school and started school, so I didn't have time to help you. But you just shook your head and said, "It doesn't matter, I can do it alone, no problem!" Also attached is an ok gesture. Sister, you are always like this. You come alone in everything and don't want any pity from others. A person is sometimes very painful, you know? Although I live at home in college and don't go out, I can understand the loneliness and anxiety in a strange environment, not to mention that you are far away in Taipei. Stupid, sister ....

June 65438+10/October 65438+August 83 The weather was fine.

It's been a week since school started. Is the university like this? It's really easy to go to class and go back to the dormitory when there is no class. But I don't seem to be very good at copying notes. I have never understood what is important and what does not need to be copied. It's nerve-racking There are less than ten boys in the class, so few. I think I went to a girls' school in high school, and most of the universities are girls. Oh, my God! How to make a boyfriend like this, hehe! Making friends with a tall Shuai Shuai boy, taking a walk before the flowers and under the moon, and poetic love words are really desirable. Unfortunately, few handsome guys in the class said that only that guy studied ... unfortunately, he ignored me and I didn't like him very much, haha, I wrote there, and spring hasn't arrived yet. Study hard and get a scholarship or something.

June 65438+10/October 65438+September 83 sunny.

There is a dance in the class tonight. Let's talk to the seniors of the sophomore water environment department. I always feel that I am not suitable for that kind of environment, I can't dance, and I am not very good-looking. When I leave, I am like a wallflower. Anyway, I just try to eat and drink. However, I was still invited to dance, three or four. I can't see clearly what they look like, but it's embarrassing to see a boy at such a close distance and tell him so much. After the dance, a senior sent me back to my dormitory, and he told me a lot about him along the way. Why did he smoke, drink and play mahjong? Wow ~ ~ that's terrible. Such a boy must not be like this in my boyfriend in the future. When my senior was leaving, he invited me to visit the North Coast tomorrow. God, you scared me to death. I quickly told him that I was not free tomorrow. Hey ... he's not interested in me, is he? Wow! ! God ~ ~

Ps: But that senior dances "so well". It's fun to dance with him.

three

13 years1October 20th, the weather was fine.

Today is Sunday. I thought it was a relaxing and happy day, but ... it's a pity that the senior came to the library to call early in the morning. It's only after nine o'clock. Most people are still sleeping, calling my name through a ditch. Oh, my God! ! The name "Lin Zhiqing" and "Lin Zhiqing", my name is probably very popular in Ziqiangtang now, and I am ruined! Really, I shouldn't have told him my name and dormitory number when I was dancing yesterday. But it's no use talking now. I did everything. I knew my roommate's dinner at night wouldn't run away! He's really annoyed. He told him that I was not available today. Come back! I found a reason to go to Sanlian to find my uncle, and I didn't have time to go. He left without saying anything. In fact, I don't want to lie to him, but I can't tell him clearly: "I don't like going out with you because I hate you!" " "It's nerve-racking. I'm afraid I'll hurt him. In fact, he didn't do anything bad, but he's not my type ... sorry, senior!

Sister, I have never heard you talk about this senior in the Department of Water Environment. He doesn't occupy too much position in your emotional world, does he? In a hurry, like a passer-by, like many men who pursue you in your life, you beat them all out. They may not have expected their return on investment to be so low. However, sister, you don't have to feel guilty about rejecting them or anything. Feelings are like this. Pick someone you like, come if you agree, or leave if you don't agree. Simple and clear ... elder sister, I don't seem qualified to say this, because I haven't been in love several times, but this is my feeling ... elder sister, are you going to say that I am too rational again?

June 265438+1October 2 1, 83 cloudy.

Today's weather doesn't look very good. It's gloomy and gray all day, and my mood is even worse. That senior came again in the evening. Fortunately, I went to the library to study and didn't meet him. Otherwise I really don't know how to tell! Strange to say, I'm not very beautiful. Why do you keep coming to me? He should find someone like Lena, tall and fashionable. By the way, speaking of Lena, a man came to see her tonight. I heard it was from her boyfriend Chiayi. Because I haven't heard from Lena for a long time, I came to Danshui to find her. I heard that the boy is very tall and wears sunglasses. He looks a little cool, but he looks oily! Lena didn't go down either, just sat in a chair and cried, while her roommates comforted her. Finally, they decided to send Pearl down to tell the man that Lena had decided to break up with him and told him not to come to her again. The man seems to stay outside until after ten o'clock. Pearl said all these things later, because he came back from the library too late and missed the good play! I don't know what to say.

Well, I can't handle it myself. I have time to take care of other people's affairs. What's more, I don't know their communication, and it is always difficult for outsiders to interrupt. However, I think Lena did a little well. I heard that they have been dating for two years, and they broke up when they said they broke up. Is it that when you go to college and get in touch with the outside world, a person becomes heartless? Maybe she has a new lover? Looking at Lena with red eyes, I suddenly have a feeling of falling in love ... it doesn't seem that easy. .....

13 years1sunny on October 24th.

That senior finally stopped coming to see me. Thank God, if he can't avoid meeting me, he should know what I mean, right? Today, I chatted with Mingzhu, lying in bed chatting all over the floor. Fortunately, her bed is next to me, otherwise I might have to speak very loudly to hear it. I didn't say anything, just talking about my college life. The mid-term exam is coming soon. This is my first exam since I went to college. I was scared. I wonder if I will do well in the exam. There is nothing special today, but when I came back from dinner at night, I saw Lena chatting with the male classmate in the class downstairs, as if she were very close. I don't know why, but I always feel uncomfortable. Maybe I like him? So I'm jealous? Oh, oh ~ really? !

65438+83 years1October 25th'

125, Guangfu Festival, a day off! It's really a good family. I don't have to go to an introduction to literature today. What? what's wrong? No one can understand this theoretical thing, but it is compulsory and nerve-racking. Most of my roommates have gone home, leaving me alone, and the library is closed, alas! How boring! A classmate in the class has a boyfriend. I heard that they met in a club. They are so good that they are dying. But the boy looked a little clumsy and said, haha, that's funny. I don't know what she likes about him Maybe girls are older than boys. There is nothing to choose from. Who knows! I think I like studying art, but I can't say what I like about him. Ah ... Is this a secret love? But I don't think he is likely to like me. I'm not very beautiful. Growing up, no one ever said I was beautiful. At best, just say that I have temperament. Temperament? There are not many boys who appreciate temperament these days! Maybe I should join a club or meet my prince charming! Hmm. How interesting ....

Not good-looking? Don't! Sister, although I always called you ugly to your face before, it was just a joke, just like you always called me funny!

Are you serious about fighting between brother and sister? No way! Sister, you are actually very beautiful. Your eyes are big and black, and they always seem to contain countless words. Besides, your fair skin is really beautiful. My classmate, Hong with glasses, came to our house last time and saw your photo. He even said that you and I were probably born to different parents. Why are you so beautiful, but I'm so sorry ... Sister, I should have told you earlier, and you would be happy to hear it ... but it's too late now!

83 1 65438+1October1sunny.

After October, the weather turned cold. I heard from my senior sister that this year's freshmen are very lucky. At this time, fresh water is shrouded in drizzle. How do you get so much sunshine? ! I think I am lucky, yes! When I came here, although I didn't study in the popular department, I always liked it. Today, my roommate is probably bored even more than watching who gets more letters. It's really crazy. What is the difference? But today, I received five letters, which is the second most in our dormitory. It's great to receive them! Among the five letters, besides my dad's letter from home, there are Tsinghua's pen pal and my high school classmate ... I am most happy to have a letter from my little master. Although his handwriting is cursive, it looks good. I wonder what he looks like. I only told him my pen name in the letter, and I don't know who stipulated it. It's really strange to see him write the word "Zhu Xiao" on his head while playing the game "Little Angel, Little Master". The name Zhu Xiao has never been used again, except when it was submitted to the school magazine in high school. I don't know if it's good to play the game of little angel and little master with my friend's aviation department this time But I really can't think of any nice name! Forget it, make do with it!

165438+ 19831October 2, the weather was fine.

Two great events happened today, one is a good thing and the other is a bad thing. I really want to cry now, but I can't tell anyone that it will kill me. Love that ends before it begins will be believed by others. In the evening, Lena didn't come back until the museum closed. Roommate asked her if she was dating her boyfriend and couldn't bear to come back. It turns out that she really has a new love, so she will give up that Chiayi boy! What saddens me even more is that her new lover turned out to be a student in our class. I didn't fully understand everything until now. Damn it, what's so good about Lena? People are evil-looking, yes! She is more fashionable and beautiful than me, but does she have me? Thank you for my kindness to you. When I saw that you were unhappy, I immediately ran to greet you. I didn't forget to leave you some fruit. You are ... smelly! I hate you! I will never be so kind to you again! The more I think about it, the angrier I get ... Go to bed! Ah! Forget the good things, and you have to communicate with others. This time, the boys in the printing department of Culture University want to make pen friends with our class. I heard that they have started sending the first letter, and it should be received in a few days! Wait, Lena! I must be a boyfriend ten million times better than him to show you! What a good skill! I do not like it! !

165438+831October 3, sunny.

I can't eat all day today because I'm in a bad mood? Maybe. Actually, I shouldn't care People don't like me at all. Why is it so hot and blind to shave your head? It's time to settle down and study. The mid-term exam will be held next Monday. How can I do without hard work? No, no, study is more important. Hey! Lin Zhiqing, you should study harder! ! ! Look at your exam schedule, there are eight Dan Coe! Come on!

165438+831October 5, rainy weather.

It finally rained, the first rain in fresh water, Mao Mao rain, just like my mood now. When I was writing to my pen pal at night, I suddenly heard Lena talking about that learning skill. This feeling is a bit strange and complicated. She said she kissed him, and while watching MTV, he kissed her unconsciously. Kissing? What a strange noun it is! I can't imagine the feeling of touching my lips. Is it sweet and nervous? I think my first kiss must be dedicated to the person I love most. When looking at the stars, two people suddenly look at each other, and then slowly.

Slowly approaching each other ... it must be beautiful ... but where is my love? I don't know where it is yet! It won't be that student anyway. I should give up. Tomorrow will be better, won't it?

83165438+1October 8, the weather was fine.

Tomorrow is the mid-term exam. I got eight subjects this time, except Thursday and Saturday, for a whole week. I'd better get busy, so I don't have much time to think. This is a good way to forget someone. I went to dinner tonight and met Lena and that student in Fallen Street. I think they have just come out of his dormitory and are going to eat. I greeted them with a smile and looked at his embarrassed smile. I suddenly feel as if I don't care about him so much anymore. Is it because the exam is coming soon and there is no time to miss him? Or is there another reason? Anyway, just leave him alone, for whatever reason. Go to bed early today, get up at 7: 30 tomorrow, and have an exam in the first class! ! I saw it once, so it should be ok. Seeing that my roommate's desk lamp is still on, I think today's Ziqiangtang will probably be brightly lit until dawn. I hope you don't miss the Buddha's foot and get kicked by the Buddha. God bless you ~ ~

165438+831October 9, sunny.

I got up early in the morning and took the examination paper. I'm too nervous to find the examination room. I can't believe I used Jingsheng Building as a museum. What does this have to do with classroom rules? I ran to the wrong classroom and found the classroom exam five minutes late. I was panting. For the first time, I found the terrain of Tamkang very annoying. Nothing. Why build it on a hillside? The road is so high.

Yes, running is very tiring. In the morning, I took an introduction to Chinese language and literature, and in the afternoon, I took an examination of Chinese thought. Most of them wrote four essay questions. There seems to be no standard answer. I have written a lot, and I should pass it. I have no credit and hard work, no hard work and fatigue, don't you think? Sometimes I really admire myself for farting so well and elegantly. Not simple! Wow ~ ~ it's twelve o'clock. It's time for bed. It's easy to take only one language and literature guide tomorrow!