Some children choose to retreat and escape, thinking that they can't do it, preferring to stay put or retreat rather than take a step forward.
And some children are more excited the harder they are. They are as full of fighting spirit as chicken blood.
Why do children react differently to the same question?
Professor Rolle of Stanford University in the United States? Dwek put forward the concept of "growth thinking" and pointed out that human thinking can be divided into "fixed thinking" and "growth thinking".
Children with "growth thinking" will not give up easily in the face of difficulties and will not compromise easily in the face of failure. They are willing to challenge themselves and constantly pursue self-growth in the process of challenge.
Children with "fixed thinking" have high thinking limitations, and the first reaction to challenges is often "I can't". They are content with the status quo and don't accept any change.
In adulthood, we will find that children with "fixed thinking" are often mediocre, and most of the success belongs to children with "growing thinking".
Different modes of thinking lie in acquired education, so how to make children have "growth thinking"?
Professor Dwek found in his research that different ways of praise can shape different ways of thinking, and the way of thinking largely determines whether a person can succeed.
In the book Lifelong Growth, Professor Dwek wrote, "The key point of praising children is whether you instill a growing mental model or a fixed mental model."
Broad words such as "smart", "beautiful", "great" and "gifted" make children think that their success is due to talent, and this natural thing cannot be changed, so children will have "fixed thinking" and think that intelligence is enough, not hard work.
So how to praise children to form "growth thinking"?
Don't praise children with words like "You are great", "You are smart" and "You are beautiful". Describe exactly what your child did well and let him know why he was praised.
Praise the process instead of focusing on the result. When children make progress, let them know that success is due to hard work, not talent.
Only by affirming the child's contribution in time and giving him a sense of accomplishment and honor can he be motivated to continue his efforts.
Steven Gray, winner of the Nobel Prize in Medicine, took milk out of the refrigerator when he was a child. Because the bottle was too slippery to catch, the milk fell to the ground and spilled all over the floor.
Mom didn't criticize him after seeing it, but said, "Wow! You're in real trouble! I have never seen such a big bowl of milk! Anyway, the bottle is broken. Do you want to play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up? "
After that, his mother took him to try various ways to hold the bottle and found the safest way to clean up the stains on the ground.
It is precisely because of his mother's tolerance and correct guidance after his mistakes that Stephen Gray has formed a character that is not afraid of mistakes and failures, and achieved an outstanding life.
A young man asked an enlightened old man, "Where does wisdom come from?" The wise man said, "accurate judgment." The young man asked again, "Where does the accurate judgment come from?" The wise man said, "Experience." The young man asked again, "Where did the experience come from?" The wise man said, "One mistake makes another."
The growth of people is actually the accumulation of one mistake after another.
Parents should not be afraid of their children's mistakes. Instead of focusing on children's mistakes, we should focus on how to get children up in failure, find out the reasons for the mistakes and avoid making mistakes in the same place next time.
Only in this way can children grow up quickly.
Edison once said: the experience and gain brought by failure lies in that I already know that I won't prove success this time, and I can avoid the same mistakes next time.
French writer romain rolland also pointed out: "Life should be wrong. Doing something wrong is learning. "
The process of children making mistakes is the process of growing up. Don't scare children's desire to explore back, and don't let them hide in the shell carefully and dare not come out.
Wang Xing of Meituan is a person with strong learning ability. He likes reading and absorbing knowledge. He exchanged experiences with leading figures from all walks of life and studied management system.
Terence Senovsky, 74, one of the top ten artificial intelligence scientists in the world and chairman of the NIPS Foundation, a global conference on artificial intelligence, once pointed out that times will not abandon you, but better people will replace you. If you want to stay excellent, you must have the ability of lifelong learning!
Darwin also said in his autobiography: in the long natural history, the species that can survive are neither the strongest nor the smartest, but the most adaptable to environmental changes.
This sentence is exactly the same as Terrence's point of view.
When children were young, they all stood at the same starting line, but after ten or twenty years, there are huge differences between them, and one of the important influencing factors is learning ability.
Children who love learning and reading communicate with people in different fields all the time, and their brains are constantly impacted by all kinds of new knowledge. This accumulated knowledge has become a powerful booster for children's growth.
They don't need to grope for progress, but stand on the shoulders of giants to see the world. Books make children stand higher and see farther. Children who love reading and learning have a broad vision, a large pattern and a farther vision.
Therefore, if children want to have "growth thinking", they must cultivate the habit of reading from an early age and have the ability of lifelong learning. Only in this way, children will keep moving forward and will not be abandoned by the times!
What is education? Don't always tell children what to do, let them have a growing thinking mode, an ability to grow hard and a spirit of not being afraid of difficulties.
Only in this way can children have the ability to survive independently and the confidence to go forward bravely in this world!