★ Piggy set up a club and said: Members should have nicknames and call me Piggy! Dog: Call me puppy! Kitten: Call me kitten! The chicken blushed and said calmly, it's really boring. Go first!
★ When you meet a lion, pretend to be calm and stare at the lion with terrible eyes. Suddenly, the lion folded his hands and knelt down. You said proudly, you know it's great! Later, the lion faint tunnel: after praying, you can eat.
★ The lion and the bear shit by the tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, and then the lion said a philosophy full of vicissitudes-lion, shit, victory, bear, poop, ah!
★ A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.
★ A real estate agent advertised "buy a house and send furniture" to promote the house. Someone bought a new house and decorated it to get furniture. Real estate agent: Where's your furniture? We will deliver the goods to your door!
The mother mouse suspected that her husband was having an affair and went to the grass with her husband. Then a hedgehog came out. The mother mouse grabbed the hedgehog: you damn fool, you said you didn't have an affair. Who are you trying to seduce by rubbing so much mousse?
There is a man who is too stupid to find a job. One day he went to KFC for an interview. The manager asked: What's your specialty? He said: I can sing. So he cleared his throat and sang: McDonald's has more choices and more laughter. ...
★ The little duke begged his younger brother: "You ask your mother for some money, and we will go to the movies." "You have to go by yourself. Mom is not just mine." "But you've already met your mother!"
★ The blind man stuttered when riding a bicycle, stuttering to see the road, and suddenly saw a deep ditch, stuttering and exclaiming: Gougougou! ! ! The blind man sang back, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!" " "So they fell into the ditch.
★ Once there was a girl who wanted to go to the grave with me-"If you don't pay me back, I will die with you!"
There was once a girl who met me in my next life-"Want to pursue me?" Next life! "
Once there was a girl who was willing to die for me-"I'd rather die with you!" " "
★ A swimming coach is shopping in the mall. A beautiful lady greeted him. He looked intently and found that it was one of his students. He then said loudly, "You really didn't recognize you when you put on your clothes!"
★ Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and my children will live in the air from now on, not afraid of your cat. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look, she is pregnant with my child!
It is said that on the longest and scariest road in a dark night, a taxi driver drove by and a woman waved at the roadside. It was quiet all the way until the woman spoke. She said to the driver, "Apples are delicious for you …" The driver thought it was great, so he took it and took a bite. The woman asked, "Is it delicious?" The driver said, "Delicious!" The woman replied, "I remember I liked apples before my death ..." Wow ...&; * $ # @ ... When the driver heard this, he was scared into an ambulance, and his face turned white ... Only the woman slowly tilted her head to the front and said to the driver, "But I don't like eating after giving birth! ……"
★ When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Little darling!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."
★ A sister-in-law saw a man who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, so she quickly said to the man, Comrade, you dropped the cigarettes! The man is furious: you just castrated!
★ A person was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly he saw a person rushing in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "What envy, didn't take off your pants!
★ A company is recruiting, and the English name of the next girl to be interviewed is "sp*ng". The secretary wanted to take the opportunity to show off her English level and shouted, "Hi! That one called' Spring', it's your turn! "
★ On the bus, the pregnant woman standing said to the strange man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw the man very nervous and said, but the child is not mine!
★ Female secretary: "Boss, your wife called, and she said on the phone that she wanted to kiss you." Boss: "Give it to me first, and then give it to me later."
Mrs. Wang is pregnant with quadruplets and shows off to her neighbors everywhere, saying that it is not easy to give birth to quadruplets, with an average of 60 thousand births. Mrs. Li was surprised: do you still have time to do housework?
★ The child is thinking about "heredity and environment". Mother interjected: "This question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like a father, it is hereditary. " Like neighbors, that is the environment!