What makeup! Hurry up! Look at your old face, you are also albino!
Moderator (angrily walks over and tears it down), dead walk-on. Walk-on: Why do we always get hurt? Moderator (me): Good evening, everyone! (Bow) Welcome to the selection site of super college students in Hegong University. I'm Xiao Su, the host. Our competition mainly examines the comprehensive quality of college students, selects the best players and awards them the title of super college students. After two days of selection, we selected three candidates. Let's welcome them to their debut. (Host) (Both sides, modeling) House, Zhuangzi: Hello, everyone, we are a super boy group!
Moderator: Wow, so you are the legendary sb group that everyone loves flowers and cars and has a flat tire. Welcome two: (looking at the host awkwardly) Host (stepping forward): (shaking hands) Hello Zhuangzi: Thank you, Host: Hello House: (excited) Host: Awesome (dialect) Host: Thank you.
Inside, Zhuang Zi turned around and sat in the same position. The house was crowded in Zhuangzi, but Zhuangzi was in a mess.
House: Alas (Zhuangzi climbs up), the stool is split (dialect) and he can't tell his position (Zhuangzi sits down carefully and looks up at the house). The hosts are all here. Let's get started. Zhuangzi (obscene): All celebrities (key)
Moderator: Sorry, there is still one player who is not present (sit down). Two people: Who is so slow?
Bachelor: Hello, everyone. Wow, this host is awesome. Can the host ask you a question (kindly and emphatically)? Do you think I am handsome (Moderator: Er ...
House: Oh, what do you think you look like? You came out to keep people alive. Zhuangzi: (looking at the house) Why do you think he looks like this? (sarcastically) House: (excitedly) I've never seen anything like it! ! ! ! (Looking at the host) Here comes the host. Let's get started, bachelor: Where did all this come from? Just like the underworld. Moderator (turning around) Well, since all three contestants are here, I declare that the super college student selection competition of He Gong University will begin now.
Three people: Yes!
Moderator: In the first part of the competition, please show yourself (turn around and face the players). Please welcome: House: (Raise your hand, stand up, stride forward, and look obliquely upward) Hello everyone (look around, excited). I am the number one player here. Many people know that my family is from the northeast, so there are many freshmen present. I want to say hello to you in Northeast dialect! ! (Dialect) (Bachelor: Is it Northeast dialect) House (turning back contemptuously): I'm all ready (taking out crumpled pieces of paper). Ah, He Gong University has a great MBA. Handsome guys run around, beautiful women run around, and there are all kinds of meals in the canteen. Advanced teaching concepts exist every day. It is difficult to find teachers abroad. Black people have just been driven away by swine flu, and ticks are harassing them again. Look at the world situation, it's better to be here (thank you. Yesterday, my uncle who died for many years called me and told me who wouldn't vote for me today. I'll talk to him tonight. Thank you (hands folded, thank you).
Moderator: Please welcome contestant number two.
Zhuangzi: Hello, everyone. My name is Miao Zhuang. You can call me Lao Zhuang. I am three years old, I know thousands of words, I am five years old, I am familiar with Tang poetry, I am seven years old, I am familiar with the Four Books and Five Classics, and I am eight years old, and I am proficient in poetry and songs. I can write, I can ride a horse, I can do, I can do, I am the embodiment of beauty and wisdom (in front of my fingers). House (impatiently questioned): Oh, stop blowing it.
Zhuangzi turned around: Today, I brought you a poem written by myself, and it is also a piece of advice for all freshmen here (take out a piece of paper): When you enter the university, you should remember that interpersonal relationships will give you a strong test. If you don't cheat, you will be a junior next year. Thank you! (Bowing back to his seat and patting his head painfully) Moderator: Please welcome contestant number three.
Bachelor: Hello, everyone. My stage name is bachelor.
My name is bachelor. Everyone says I'm handsome.
House: (disapprovingly) Come on. You look as handsome as an old demon in Montenegro. Bachelor: (turning around angrily) Can you keep quiet and not like working with you?
(Facing the audience) Actually, I am a native singer in our Hegong University. Sing high notes for everyone here today. I hope you will like it.
Happy beautiful sheep, lazy sheep (affectionately)
(House (painfully) oops)
In fact, I am just a sheep (Zhuangzi is intoxicated, and the house pushes Zhuangzi's head angrily).
House (standing up with Lao Zi and Zhuang Zi): Moderator, can we stop filming? Zhuangzi: Why do you still sing this?
Bachelor: I'm so excited today. My voice shouted at me. They both read poems to everyone, and I was no exception. I recited a poem to express my attachment to our school. Every sentence of this poem contains a scenic spot in our school. There is a saying that the administrative building was set on fire, the library was sprayed with perfume, the canteen was robbed of soup and scientific research was robbed. Thank you (I turned to sit down and patted my head depressed. I don't scare my uncle like some people. Moderator: OK, thank you. After the first round of wonderful self-introduction, I think everyone has got a preliminary understanding of them. Let's invite public comments and throw their mascots to their supporters. Let's get up and be a walk-on.
Walk-on (walking past three people holding Zhuangzi's hand): Zhuangzi, you are so talented (Zhuangzi holding hands excitedly) Thank you. Thank you (walk-on desperately shook off his hand and went to Wang Zi for a deep hug). Man, I love you (Wang Zi: I love you too). Oh, I heard that you are still a singer (Wang Zi: That's true). You are not as good as me (Wang Zi: What are you talking about! (Turn around and walk into the room, give him the mascot, and want to step down) Moderator: (Stop) Please wait a moment, public comment. I would like to ask why the mascot should be given to our first contestant's roommate. (Handing over the microphone) Walk-on: (Taking over the microphone): Actually, it's a long story. Look at that kowtow (pointing to the house). How can my uncle really find me at night? I don't want to die. (Pushing open the microphone and stepping off the platform without hesitation) Moderator: OK, thank you.
Ok, after the first round of wonderful self-presentation, let's enter the second part of the more exciting.
Qi: One says one (gesturing) Zhuangzi: This is two.
Moderator: OK, please sit down (together).
This session is a discussion session, because our program is live, so according to your performance, netizens will vote online. The first topic we discussed was about the house where we skipped classes (excited): Oh, I'm always good at skipping classes. Compere: Oh, you are very good at it. Zhuangzi: We are all good host: Oh, really?
Zhuangzi: We have another theory. Moderator: Do you still have a theory? House: Of course, Zi once said that there is no truancy in the world. The more people skip classes, the more people are arrested, which becomes a theory.
Bachelor: Who said that?
Zhuangzi: The house is ill-bred. House: (to the host) Our theory takes freedom as the core, adheres to three basic principles: escape if you want, and escape if you dare, and solves two basic problems: when to escape and when to escape. Generally speaking, run away if you want, run away if you like, and run away if you don't. This is the big goal. Thank you, Zhuangzi: Although we have the conditions to escape at night, we also have principles (curtilage nods and echoes).
Zhuangzi: Of course, our principle is to avoid elective courses and compulsory courses. Thank you! ! (House coordination) House: The key to truancy is to grasp the risk of truancy and the teacher's character. Zhuangzi: Truancy masters should be careful. A novice truant only knows his mood. Zhai: You can't escape Zhuangzi in class. You can't escape from the house at the beginning of the long vacation. The guide has a bad temper and can't escape Zhuangzi: (The host wants to talk, but the host interrupts)
Moderator: I think our No.3 contestant should have something to say.
Bachelor: This is a real mess. These two men are not ashamed of skipping classes, but proud of skipping classes. I didn't want to participate in this link. I really can't listen to this anymore. Talk about it as a student. The most important thing is to study. Study hard and you will have a good job in the future. If you have a good job, you will have a good future. When you have this (counting money), you can wait for this (Hooking the host's chin) The house is strong. What? The bachelor smiled without a word.
The house realized: Are you playing hooligans here? What do you mean, learn to take the initiative? Zhuangzi: You can study hard in class.
Bachelor: I am not convinced. Scholarships bound my hands and feet. House: (patting me on the head in dismay) Gee, Zhuangzi: You slept with a cramp in your hand. Moderator: OK, OK, so much for this topic. Let's discuss the second topic. This topic is about love.
House: Oh dear (everyone is speechless) you asked the right person. I'm always good at it. Moderator: You are good at it again.
Bachelor: Oh, you've been in love like that. House: (angry) Will you stop talking? Is there anything wrong with my appearance? Be in love even if you are ugly. When the world is full of love.
Zhuangzi: I met his girlfriend. That girl looks like a water tank.
House: How do you talk? Your partner is like a water tank.
Zhuangzi: Well, what kind of house is equal in length, width and height? (I waved excitedly) Can't it be a water cube with the same length, width and height? Zhuangzi: Don't tell the host, I'll tell you. The host said: Well, then you say Zhuangzi: I am a mature person. I don't believe in love at all now. In my eyes, love is like a blind man and a bicycle.
Moderator: How can I put it?
Zhuangzi: Love is blind and unreliable.
House: Oh, host, don't listen to him. I will believe the love host: Oh, really?
House: I think dating needs to be serious. Moderator: Oh, right, right.
House: then falling in love is like falling in front of the toilet. host: what do you mean?
House: I'm not far from shit by accident. I also said that falling in love is like running in front of the toilet 100 meter. Supporter: What do you mean?
House: The faster you run, the closer you get to shit.
Zhuangzi: Why is your handwriting so dirty? Can you go to another house? Confucius said that love is like jumping off a building. Moderator: Why?
House: The longer the process, the worse the death. Bachelor: (stands up) Well, it's over! @ #￥% & amp； (Say that finish hard to zhuang zi, zhuang zi looked at at a loss, and then clap your hands, the room will clap your hands. )
Zhuangzi: Good (what's good for a bachelor). Moderator: Not good. Zhuangzi: (turning his head to one side) Who knows? House: What are you talking about? Bachelor: No culture. Master means love. He doesn't want to last forever, as long as he has it. Zhuangzi: (Clapping at a bachelor) Bachelor's home: (Continue) Your mother calls you home for dinner (turning to the host). Let's change the subject quickly. The more you talk, the more annoying you get. Moderator: (Standing up) Well, after the second round of wonderful discussion, let's look at the support rate of the Hegong Forum. At present, the first place in the River Forum is our bachelor: (Standing up and waving) Thank you. Thank you, Moderator: OK, I hope to keep working hard, Zhuangzi: That's it.
House: As far as his master is concerned, he doesn't even care about personal hygiene. Zhuangzi: He doesn't wash his feet for a week. House: He doesn't take a shower all year round. Zhuangzi: Cockroaches are running around under the bed.
House: Playing cards with the dormitory is also cheating: people never give money when they bring food.
Bachelor: What are you talking about? What are you talking about? The host can't broadcast malicious personal attacks this time. What are you talking about? Moderator: (turning around) Don't pinch the director (lowering his head). The ratings are too high.
Ok, let's go to the last part of the competition, the life and death express Zhuangzi: Why is it still the life and death express? (Bachelor goes on to say: I am desperate) Moderator: The so-called life and death express is to grab the answer.
Zhuangzi: Answer first, then answer. Also, life and death express (scratching your head). What a scary house: (stands up excitedly) Oh, I'm always good at answering questions. Moderator: Only you are good at it.
House: Call me a bachelor with Li Yong's lucky 52: Ah, sit down, sit down, you are lucky with your IQ of 52. Would you? Moderator: Don't listen to his nonsense and come down quickly. Moderator: OK, please listen to the first question. Here's the question. I imitate a voice and guess what animal it is. House: (thumbs up) Oh, it's so much like studying. Too much like brother Zeng. Moderator: Yes.
House: It's so similar (continue to give a thumbs up). When you are alone, you are a Leo ... (Nodding with satisfaction) Zhuangzi: People are talking about animals.
Bachelor: Brother Zeng can't be an animal either.
House: Brother Zeng is like a wolf in my heart. What's the matter, bachelor What do you mean a mess?
Moderator: The correct answer to this question is the sheephouse: (touching his head) Oh dear.
Moderator: OK, please listen to the second question. This issue is a historical issue. The cabbage peeled off its leaves and hit a historical figure (the house/strong man stood up excitedly). Bachelor: Liu Bang.
(Both of them look at the bachelor) The cabbage leaves are removed, leaving the cabbage bangzi. Liu Bang (Liu Bangzi) Zhuangzi: I agree.
House: What does Liu Shibang mean? You two grew up drinking Sanlu milk powder, right? (Waving) Obviously, Chinese cabbage is rooted.
Zhuangzi: They are talking about historical figures.
House: Liu Laogen is a historical figure. Who said that?
Moderator: The correct answer to this question is Liu Bang's bachelor: Did you hear that (the house touched its head again)
Moderator: Well, there is one more question. I hope the contestants can seize the last chance. This problem is an action problem. Let me do the action questions. Let the contestants guess what campus sport it is (the host waved a big table tennis ball and the three shook their heads at will). Zhuangzi: Pingping (pressed on the stool by a song in the room)
House: What are you doing pingping? I wonder why your IQ is so low. Isn't it obvious that the host occupies a seat?
Moderator: How can it be a seat? House: Oh, host, you don't know that man. I got up at six in the morning and tied up a pile of books. When I entered the class, I took two seats and three seats (motioning with his hand, Zhuangzi followed). The second, third and fourth rows are not seats. What is that? Moderator, can I have a small request?
Compere: Well, you say.
House: Can you stop me from following two idiots PK? The price is too low. Bachelor: Who is a fool?
Supporter: Well, unfortunately, the correct answer to this question is table tennis. Zhuangzi: Did you hear that, idiot?
House: Campus sports host who has never asked such a question: (whispering that it depends on me, that depends on me) Well, that's it, our game is over, and our staff are counting the results. Take a break during the advertising break (the host stepped down and three people stood up)
House: Are you naive? Zhuangzi: Are you still thin?
Bachelor: Some people say that you don't grow up? Shengyuan milk powder helps you grow.
Zhuangzi: Help develop (talking to the bachelor) No matter you, me, him (pointing to the house, the house is swinging forward, posing).
House: Actually, I'm only 12 years old.
Moderator: Thank you. It's advertising time (three people sit down). Welcome back, audience. This is the most exciting moment. I announce that the final winner of this year's super college students in He Gong University is Zhuangzi (bachelor stands up excitedly) ... (Zhuangzi falls off the stool, and then I shudder) Let's invite the winners to give their acceptance speech. Please welcome Zhuangzi: (I am at a loss, stuttering) I won this prize in my dream yesterday, but I didn't expect to win it. First of all, I want to thank my parents, the National Institute of Education, and the National Institute of Education for giving me this opportunity. I'm ready, too (taking a piece of paper from my pocket).
House: Oh, that's my manuscript (at this time, his expression is very tangled) Zhuangzi: (Looking down carefully) A little nervous and embarrassed (reaching into another pocket and taking out a piece of paper in a hurry) Ah, that's right. Today is a good day. Autumn is coming. The autumn wind is pleasant, birds are laughing and singing. My alma mater, a handsome boy and a beautiful woman, flew in. We grew up here and set sail here for four years. The elites of Hegong University dare to explore and practice independently. Look at my Hegong University, swaggering and going forward bravely. Look at my Hegong University, standing at the forefront of China. Thank you (sit down)
Moderator: The future of the motherland needs us to build a miracle of life, and we need to create it. In fact, we are all super college students. Well, this year's Sias Super College Student Selection Competition has come to a successful conclusion. Thank you for your participation (bow). Please leave now.
(In the room, Zhuangzi came down, Zhuangzi blew a kiss with his hand, there were toys in the room, and the bachelor sat down on the stool) Moderator: (Walk up to the bachelor and touch his head) Your mother asked you to go home for dinner (walk down while talking) Bachelor: (stand up and walk, walk while talking) Go home for dinner.