I have walked a lot in Xiong Haizi and met a lot, so I am always glad to meet polite and educated children.
He may have just spilled a drink on the subway and bent down to clean it up; Just quiet in the cinema; I just don't rummage around other people's houses. ...
But now Xiong Haizi is really lawless and frightening, so just these seemingly ordinary things make people feel precious.
Nowadays, parents, under the pressure and anxiety brought by social competition, declare that "the monthly salary is 30,000 yuan, but they still can't afford a summer vacation for their children", "I'm sorry, dad can't give you a school district of 8 million yuan" and "let the children win at the starting line", and they have invested a lot of financial resources, energy and time in their children's study.
But do those children with good scores really win at the starting line?
Just because of his good grades, he bossed around at home and didn't respect his elders at all; Under this kind of family doting, he completely ignored the feelings of others, made a scene in public places, and even attacked others; At school, I also feel like an overlord, robbing others and thinking only about my own happiness.
How far can such a child go?
Some time ago, girls who graduated from Shenzhen University lost contact and their families called the police. As a result, she was detained by the Hong Kong police for theft. There is also the poisoning case of Fudan University that shocked for a while a few years ago; In addition, people with high academic qualifications and no quality are still common in life. ...
These cases, which are now commonplace, are fundamentally due to the lack of education.
British philosopher John Locke once said, "Courage will be rude, learning will be pedantic, wit will be funny, simplicity will be rude, gentleness will be flattering."
In the face of education and academic performance, many parents put the cart before the horse, ignoring the great influence of their children's education on his life.
Ideological neglect, lack of principled code of conduct constraints, coupled with their own cultivation and quality can not set a good example for children, so more and more ill-bred Xiong Haizi was born.
For all families, rich or poor, the lowest cost and the most important spiritual wealth that parents can give their children is education.
Education is not innate. If a child is not taught good habits and related knowledge, he must be ignorant and shallow. Parents should teach an educated child from the following points.
Basic etiquette education
What children will face in the future will be a broader and more civilized society than now. Education is the detail, from the basic social rules to the etiquette of dealing with people, it needs to be taught to children slowly and immersed in daily life.
Observe public order, keep your voice down in public, be polite at the dinner table, set an example for children in every specific life situation, and guide them by reminding and telling.
Establish boundaries with others
Close lovers and friends need a sense of boundaries, let alone ordinary people. Helping children to establish boundaries with others from an early age reflects good literacy and respect for others.
Don't take other people's things casually. Ask the other person's opinion first in physical contact, don't squeeze or rob, line up in a civilized way, don't just consider your own feelings, learn to be considerate and humble.
Just like in Where's Dad Going, Du Jiang's son, uh-huh, thought little puff was cute and kissed her. Then Du Jiang explicitly told the children, "Before kissing someone, ask them if they want to.". Yeah, yeah, I remember dad's words well, and then I will do what dad says.
After a deep understanding of respect and boundaries, there is an appropriate boundary. Appropriate restrictions, who helps children master things, not only consider themselves, but also consider others. With this appropriate limit, everyone will feel very reasonable and comfortable; Do not bring inconvenience and trouble to others.
A trip, a movie and a meal are all good educational scenes. If children are educated in the scene of personal participation, their feelings will be more real and impressive.
Give children a chance to take responsibility.
In life, educated children will have more "good luck" than uneducated children.
10 Hunan province selects civil servants for interview. There are banana peels and melon seeds on the sofa and coffee table in the bright waiting room, next to the trash can. Within 8 minutes, the candidates waited for the exam alone, and the interview actually started ... Unexpectedly, only 3 of the 53 candidates passed the first random question.
It seems insignificant to throw garbage into the trash can at will, but it reflects a person's comprehensive quality and sense of responsibility.
Now that the living standard has improved, parents are unwilling to give up their children's hardships and hands-on work except learning, which just deprives them of the opportunity to learn to take responsibility.
Many parents feel that they have paid so much, and as a result, their children simply don't understand themselves and raise a "baiwenhang", which is precisely the key reason.
Let children do housework at home and know how to show weakness to them. For example, "Mom is a little tired at work, can you pat her on the shoulder?" Give children the opportunity to care and take care of themselves.
In the process of taking on small responsibilities, children can gradually understand how to take care of others' feelings, not just themselves. This is the essence of growth.
Teach children to manage their emotions.
An educated person will not vent his emotions at will regardless of time and place. Patience, peace, and knowing how to express your emotions properly are not only conducive to children's interpersonal communication, but also an ability to better adapt to society in the future.
Teaching children to manage their emotions is also an emotional intelligence education. Because children are young, they don't know how to express and vent their emotions when they are angry, depressed or emotional. At this time, parents' active guidance is needed.
First of all, help children understand their emotions: happiness, sadness, disappointment, guilt and so on.
Then teach children how to express their emotions accurately. "Are you angry now?" "Mom can understand your sadness", don't think that the child is too young to be sensible, and his every feeling deserves parents' attention.
When a child expresses his emotions by crying or rolling, parents should not coax him immediately, wait until he has had enough trouble and obeyed, then appease and listen to his voice and convey the message to the child. Crying won't solve the problem.
You can also teach children to relax their emotions in more effective ways, such as reading calmly, being alone in a daze, and practicing calligraphy. This is also a good way to clear their minds.
Don't indulge children.
In life, when a child makes a mistake or misbehaves, adults often excuse the child with excuses such as "he is still a child" and "it is also interesting", which is irresponsible to the child.
No matter how young a child is, he should be taught a correct view of right and wrong. Only when children know whether their actions are right or wrong can they form a correct concept.
Wrong behavior, if adults don't stop it in time, children will only make more and more trouble, and finally even lead to great disaster.