I went to college. During my college years, I certainly saw and heard many kinds of love stories, and I also had the experience of falling in love in college. Although these stories and experiences took place on university campuses, the flavor of oil, salt, sauce and vinegar is inevitably quite strong.
one
After receiving the notice from the university, as a young man in the age of love, I naturally have a rosy vision for university life. For example, I hope to meet a confidante like Zhu Yingtai in a romantic university campus. Two students study, help each other and fly with me. I think many boys will have such a dream before they set foot on the university campus. In the same way, knowing A Liang Sambo is naturally a girl's hope. As far as boys' psychology is concerned, when they dream of meeting Zhu Yingtai, they don't think about whether they belong to Liang Shanbo or not. or vice versa, Dallas to the auditorium
In my college days, the ratio of male to female was seriously upside down, and girls were definitely short of resources. Someone once joked that girls were simply "chopped green onion" on the university campus at that time. Take our Chinese Department Grade 78 for example. /kloc-among more than 30 students, only 20 are girls. As for those sciences, it is even worse, and undergraduate classes are not uncommon. Unlike today, the whole situation is reversed, and the university has a strange spirit, which makes us envious of what we have experienced. It's really thirty years in Hedong and thirty years in Hexi.
What is love and what is love in college? Spend time together, be very much in love, or read and promote each other by candlelight? Is it vigorous, the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, or plain, helping each other? I can't say clearly. I'm afraid others have different answers to this question. For example, a fellow of the Department of Physical Education once told me frankly that he wanted to get a "105" love during his college years. In the early 1980s, the monthly salary of college graduates was usually 52.50 yuan. This was a relatively high income for young people at that time. What he means is to find a college graduate as a wife. After all, people who study physical education speak straight and can't turn. Art study is more practical and material, and the criteria for choosing a spouse are usually clear and specific, such as family conditions, height and appearance, where are you from, and so on. At that time, people in big cities had a strong sense of superiority. And that's how I was included in the scope of mate selection. I'll talk about this later. I can't hold down the table for the time being.
One of my college classmates once wrote that because of the strong awareness of scarce resources, all the girls in our department have the mentality of "the emperor's daughter doesn't worry about getting married", and they were quite nervous in the first few years, so the marriage rate of students in our department is not too high. I don't quite agree with this view. Feelings should only be suitable, not the best. Two of a kind, you can put out fireworks. Isn't there an old saying that we meet thousands of miles away, but we don't know each other? Outsiders look at the most suitable combination, but the two of them just don't feel it, or it's right to shave their heads and carry their loads.
When I was in college, I felt that I was a role that girls didn't like very much. For example, he has a sharp mouth and likes to make fun of other people's weaknesses; Study hard enough, be lazy and love to play; General qualifications, no eye-catching talent; Love to complain, words and deeds are "angry youth" and so on. However, this does not prevent me from yearning for sweet and romantic love, nor does it prevent me from longing for the attention and favor of girls. There are many reasons why I didn't attack the girls in my department. After graduation, a girl once told me that many girls had opinions about me at school, thinking that I was too arrogant and neglected girls. I am wronged because this view is really a misunderstanding.
From the perspective of mate selection, girls in this department can be roughly divided into four situations for me: the first one can be ruled out directly because of age and personality, and I don't need to say more about this.
The second one is daunting. Here are two examples.
First, a boy secretly stuffed a love letter into a girl's drawer because he adored her. The girl didn't understand the amorous feelings, and gave the love letter to the counselor. The counselor was simple and blunt, and announced at the whole grade meeting that he used some irritating language when he announced it, which completely humiliated the boy's face for two or three years. This incident made that girl a public enemy of many boys. People have the right to pursue love, and you have the right not to accept it. If you think it's inappropriate, you can decline. Why take such an extreme approach without mercy? What's so great about you? After graduation, I talked about this matter at a class reunion. An insider said that girls actually declined several times, but boys were too stubborn and endlessly entangled. That girl really couldn't bear it, so she made this decision. On the other hand, this incident made some boys who didn't understand at that time have some prejudice against that girl, which is conceivable.
Secondly, one night when studying by herself, a girl picked up her schoolbag and walked outside the classroom. A boy made friends with him with a big smile on his face: "XXX, are you going to the reading room?" Can you save me a seat? " His thoughtfulness should be well known and understandable. However, the girl was embarrassed. Her almond eyes were wide open and her face was full of anger. She snapped, "If you want to keep the seat for yourself, why are you giggling!" The boy was trained to be stupefied and didn't come back for a long time. The onlookers were dumbfounded for a moment.
This type of girl will naturally make those boys who are not so cheeky and courageous stay away.
The third is self-esteem. After the summer vacation started, a male classmate told me angrily that he and a girl went back to school by train. When chatting in the car, the girls said dismissively that the boys in our department want families without families, looks without looks, and talents without talents. What's the big deal? It's hopeless one by one. Explain that when she said "family", she meant family conditions. That buddy was angry at the unfair evaluation. "I think it's probably because no one is chasing her, and her psychology is a bit abnormal." Having said that, he added with some malice.
For other hot-blooded young people, the feeling after listening to these words can be imagined. Therefore, I don't think many boys will commit suicide for this type of girl.
The fourth is not to eat human fireworks. Some girls in our department are really literary. They always call themselves Li Bai, Du Fu, Cao Xueqin, Lu Xun, Mao Dun and Guo Moruo. A classmate once told me with some distress that he had found such a literary girl. After graduation, they were assigned to two places and finally met. However, the literary girl always naively said to him, "Shall I recite a poem to you?" Turn a blind eye to his clothes. I know that the revolution is not a dinner party. But I also know that finding a wife is not writing an article against poetry.
For this type of girl, many boys can only appreciate or look up, and there can be no other wild desires.
When I was young, although I didn't have a skill, I had a lot of hateful self-esteem. Needless to say, for the first and third m-girls, but for the second and third girls, I dare not provoke them. Once they lose their hair, it will be a shame to give me a big red face. Therefore, the reason why I keep a certain distance from the girls in this department is entirely out of a sense of inferiority and guilt, rather than being arrogant and disdainful of interacting with others.
In the vast sea of people, we may have missed our best, and at the same time we have been missed by others. For ordinary people, romantic love is actually a luxury and cannot be easily consumed. If you are not Liang Shanbo, you can't expect your other half to be Zhu Yingtai, and vice versa. Although we are lucky enough to enter the university, we can't completely transform ourselves. So love in college is also inevitable. Living at home, that kind of attachment and long-term habit is more real and reliable than those gorgeous and illusory so-called love.
One of my classmates once lamented: in college, we don't know love. So, do you understand now? I don't think so
two
In college, for those unmarried boys and girls, falling in love is one of the forbidden behaviors. The person in charge of students in the department and the counselor made this public as soon as they entered the school, and from time to time they used various opportunities to beat those students who tried to cross the border. But even so, it can't stop those fledgling boys and girls from doing some underground tricks.
From about the first semester after entering school, boys and girls have been sneaking out in pairs. At first, we deliberately created some seemingly coincidental encounters, such as going to the reading room to look up information, sitting together, borrowing books from the library, memorizing English words in a quiet place and so on. Later, the communication gradually deepened. For example, "walking" in the crops outside the campus at night and "talking" in the Woods by the river in the suburbs on Sunday. Although they think they are doing something quite hidden, in fact, onlookers know their little tricks well. "My fair lady, a gentleman is gentle and graceful", for this kind of natural thing between men and women of school age, everyone basically holds the mentality of adult beauty, and no one deliberately pokes or incites others' goodness.
My university is a normal college, which has an art department and a foreign language department. College students studying art at that time generally had two conditions. First of all, they must have some talents, because the enrollment is small and it is not easy to win the competition. Second, the family conditions are acceptable, at least I can afford an instrument or something. Unlike today, all the students who failed the culture class, regardless of their talent and family conditions, rushed up with whips to participate in the "art test" army.
At that time, the girls in the Department of Art and the Department of Foreign Languages in our school were enchanting and fragrant, strutting with their eyes wide open, like proud white swans. Generally speaking, those rustic boys in the department don't care at all. Outgoing, they talk about love regardless, and dare to kiss each other in public, regardless of the love prohibition order. Many years later, a teacher with an art student told me that his biggest headache at that time was to control the students in his department to fall in love. Forget it, it's not happy up there. When it comes to management, nobody cares about him. Later, I turned a blind eye, and as long as nothing serious happened, I was too lazy to ask and interfere.
Students from other departments are timid and low-key, and are afraid of the rules of the school. When they talk about love, they have to take pains to hide their eyes and ears, just like doing underground work.
Because the girls in the art department and the foreign languages department are more modern and conspicuous, some students in our department have begun to stir. For example, a classmate pretends to borrow music scores from art girls in the name of liking music. When it was returned, there was a little love letter in it. It may be that girls don't understand amorous feelings, or they want to show off or raise themselves, so everyone knows about it, which makes boys lose face.
For another example, a boy fell in love with an art girl at first sight and immediately launched a fanatical offensive. To the onlookers, the girl's appearance is actually average. For example, a prankster once nicknamed her "back" and "200 meters" behind her back. It means she can only look at her back, or from 200 meters away. I still think these two nicknames are too talented. As for the motivation of boys chasing her, it is not clear whether beauty is in the eye of the lover or just because she is a modern woman in the art department. Although living together for a while, Lao Yan finally parted ways.
Romance is an element that men and women yearn for in love. The pursuit of love on campus seems more obvious and intense. But illusory romance is often fragile in the face of the reality of life. For example, a boy in our department fell in love with a girl in the art department. Those days when two people fell in love were inseparable. However, at the time of graduation assignment, the girl went to a big city, and after the boy went to a small city, the girl proposed that the prerequisite for the combination of the two was that the boy had to be transferred to her big city. For that boy, this is almost an impossible task.
On a holiday trip, a classmate met a confidante on the train. They talked about literature and life, and fell in love at first sight. Later, it developed into a passionate relationship. But they are thousands of miles apart. In order to solve the suffering of lovesickness, Hongyan can only pass books frequently. For love, this classmate ran all the way to other places after graduation and became a door-to-door son-in-law. However, due to their short time together, the two sides lack a deep understanding of their personalities and habits. In the daily necessities after marriage, once romance can only stand aside. If the running-in fails, their marriage will be finished.
There is also a poet-like classmate who fell in love with a girl in the northwest border. Their love is equally passionate and romantic. After the girl returned to the northwest, the two agreed to get the certificate first. Because the road is too far and the traffic is inconvenient, the girl sent the marriage certificate and asked the man to find a body double to get it. This classmate found an easy-going girl in our class, posing as a bride to get a marriage certificate. But it didn't last long. It wasn't long before the northwest girl changed her mind and sent the relevant divorce certificate. In desperation, our unlucky female classmate had to accompany others to get a divorce certificate. So someone joked, "Who did XXX offend? A big girl with a good temper. She was married and divorced once before graduating from college."
Because dating was forbidden in universities at that time, schools usually didn't consider the factors of couples when making distribution plans. Separation between two places is often the main killer of love in universities. There is a pair of boys and girls who fall in love across grades. Girls are senior, first assigned to a famous coastal city. When I learned that the boys had no hope of being assigned there, the girls wrote an affectionate and sincere letter. Although they expressed despair, the key word was "breaking up".
Although that boy is not in my department, he has many contacts because he is a fellow villager. When he was sad, he showed me the girl's letter. I found that there were as many as three pieces of writing paper in that letter, and each piece of paper was covered with spots suspected of tears. So, I comforted my fellow villagers and said, "Don't be too angry. My daughter still has feelings for you. Look at this writing paper. I wrote this letter in tears. " Unexpectedly, his brother lamented with a wry smile: "Brother, you are so naive, don't I know her yet?" Who knows if she spilled the water on purpose! "
For all sentient beings, passionate and romantic love is actually a fragile thing that can't stand the beating of years. I don't know if it is because of the excessive pursuit of romance that the marriage path of our grade students is not so smooth. According to incomplete statistics, among more than 30 students in the whole grade/kloc-0, except for more than one-third of the older students who got married before entering the university, the rest of the people who started dating in college later got married, reaching more than 20 people. In any case, this ratio is a bit too high. In absolute terms, it exceeds 20%. Because of this, not all the love in my eyes in college is beautiful.
If men and women in the university have less unrealistic romantic pursuits, based on reality and aiming at finding someone to live, their marriage will be more stable and longer. For example, there are two boys and girls in love in our grade, both of whom are from rural areas, and all aspects are roughly the same. Moreover, the requirements of the two are not high. During graduation assignment, both of them offered to work in a relatively remote place with a large planned balance. For this kind of request, the school is naturally willing to follow suit, regardless of whether they fall in love or not. The two later married and had children and lived a quiet and stable life. Married life has been harmonious and beautiful so far.