Looking forward to love, both ancient and modern. Xin Qiji, a great poet in the Song Dynasty, wrote: "People searched for her thousands of times, and suddenly looked back, and that person was in the dim light." It was the night of the Lantern Festival, and people came and went. But Mr. Xin only saw her in the distance. Nearly a thousand years later, Liang Qichao, who echoed from afar, also said: "Self-pity is lonely, and those who are sad have different arms", which can be said to have won its meaning. In fact, you two sigh from a distance, which is neither unprecedented nor unprecedented. Han Guang in The Book of Songs describes a man who finds that "Han has a prodigal girl" but can't get over it. He can only sing a few silly words to express his sadness. In the Republic of China, the monarchy was abolished and the mind was liberated. In the past, I was ashamed to say what I wanted to say when I showed my love, but it became hard to find with the development of the times. Single men and women have pursued personal marriage through "marriage". This is also in line with a popular slogan: If you love, please speak up.

A wayward advertisement for marriage

As early as around 1900, Cai Yuanpei, Zhang Taiyan and other celebrities took the lead in raising marriage cards. After all, Mr. Cai Yuanpei returned from studying abroad with an open mind. Among the five conditions listed, more than half are for the woman: first, the woman must not bind her feet; Second, you must be literate; Third, men don't marry concubines; Fourth, after a man dies, a woman can remarry; If the husband and wife disagree, they can get a divorce. In contrast, Mr. Zhang Taiyan's marriage conditions still retain the emotional appeal of some old literati. For example, if the woman wants a good family, she will write small articles. Above all, the girl must obey. A few words, not low requirements. But both of them are famous big shots and have the capital to make conditions. They are like a cloud, and of course they all found their ideal partners in the end.

When it comes to ordinary people's marriage, it's really strange and varied. Personals, a man, 1930 was included in the issue of 1 of Qingtianhui magazine. A 24-year-old man is going to study in Europe and America and wants to find a female partner before leaving. If the woman also intends to go abroad, "a gentleman" is willing to contribute to the sponsorship; If you don't want to, they can get married when he comes back. "A certain gentleman" * * * puts forward six conditions. For example, the age should be between 17 and 20 years old, clean and neat, graduated from junior high school or above (college students are better), gentle and lively. Also specifically pointed out the expectation of the woman's body-"the milk department is not pressed." If the other person has seen Zhang Jingsheng's sexual history, that would be great! If you meet the requirements and want to contact, you can write to me and attach photos. "A certain gentleman" finally promised: "If it is inconsistent with the original letter, it will be kept secret."

Coincidentally, the magazine also published an article by a "Jingna" lady, which seems to be a response to the marriage advertisement of "A certain gentleman". Jingna said she was nineteen and shy. Walking in the street, I often feel uneasy and blush when I see a man who aims at stealing eyebrows and mice. As for the book "The History of Sex" mentioned by a certain gentleman, Jing Na said that she had read it, but she didn't like it very much, because the author looked at the problem from the perspective of men's own interests. I don't know how "a certain gentleman" feels after reading the above response. "The Story of the Sky" did not continue to be published, so there is no way to know.

Compared with Jingna, the marriage advertisement written by a girl named "Fat Farmer" is even more unique. Just look at this pen name and you will know that this is a fat girl. The "fat farmer" said that he was a little fat and gentle. When I was in primary school, there was a male classmate who was "smart, soft and beautiful". They are in love and inseparable. Later, the man asked the headmaster to ask for relatives. Unexpectedly, the father of the "fat farmer" strongly opposed the boy and told his daughter the reason: "Your body is too fat and your temperament is too soft. If you give him a fat one, isn't your future son like a fat melon? " Your sex is so good that it matches his softness. Won't it be soft into a pile and become a cotton ball in the future? "In desperation, the" fat farmer "had to obey orders to break up and publish a marriage advertisement. In her words, "can a thin and violent man break my loneliness?" "

The courtship routines of single men and women in the Republic of China were observed by people at that time. For men, "first talk about the criteria for choosing an object, such as' clean family' and' gentle temperament', and then boast about your own situation, such as' rich family background' and' rich monthly income', so please give the candidate a decision." In contrast, most women are very pragmatic in seeking marriage. 1948 No.32, The Times mentioned the marriage requirements of 20-year-old women, including seven items, covering work, education, age, foreign language level, complete garage and pain.

Similar examples are too numerous to mention. Today, we have seen and heard various versions of marriage advertisements during the Republic of China, which have long been commonplace and put into practice. The degree of openness and courage seems to be the same as today.

Respond to things that are bad in marriage.

Jiang Taigong fishes, and he who wishes takes the bait. Since someone extended an olive branch, someone must have responded positively. Single men and women are still very active in this regard. After all, why not do what you want? Marriage seekers usually leave a mailing address at the end of the advertisement, so that interested parties can contact directly or entrust a newspaper to handle it on their behalf. How the two people will develop in the future depends on fate, sneaking around, and privately. However, some people are willing to share their experiences and make them public through the media platform, so that those embarrassing and interesting bad things will be known to everyone.

A brother who signed "Dream Man" saw the advertisement of "Qingqing" in the blue sky tabloid and was eager to try. Later, I got up the courage and applied directly in the form of a newspaper. At first, he admired the lady, and he was able to come up with a way to advertise his desire to "get rid of the ticket" on the lottery. Then he said that I was the winner of the Dutch lottery, and my luck was really good. Of course, it also implied that my economic conditions were OK. What makes people depressed is that "you have a bicycle for a long time, but you need jade people to keep you company." What if a single person saves more money? So I sincerely hope to be friends with this lady and then develop into lovers. "At that time, we will be very much in love, go cycling and exchange true love for love." In China in 1930s, there was a bicycle in good condition. No wonder Dream Man mentioned it many times. But the real intention of this lady is to sell lottery tickets, and the proposal will go away, and there will be no more.

Of course, newspaper editors will also become emotional therapists when they meet some indirect marriage seekers and respond face to face. A man named He Heng once wrote to Zephyr's mailbox, saying: Love is not a big deal, but it is also very important. Busy with business during the day, you will feel extremely lonely when you get home at night. "This kind of life is very dangerous. If it is extended, it will not only be painful for life, but also affect the country and society. " After talking a lot about love, Mr. He changed the subject and said to himself, I am 27 years old now, I have been to college and have a good job. Feeding two or three people is no problem. It's just that I used to be thin-skinned and had no experience with girls, so I'm still single. So, editors, can you introduce me to a girlfriend? Then, list the conditions of the favorite girl, including age, appearance, morality, thought, work and so on. However, Mr. He said, "The conditions for my choice of collocation are as simple as that." If someone is willing, even if it is a divorce, I am willing to entrust it for life. The editors read Mr. He's statement and request, and replied through the "Xifeng mailbox" that quite a few people have difficulties in choosing a spouse now, and we sympathize with you. But you should know that love and fate are very important. Therefore, "there are many good women in the world, so let's look for them with confidence and look for them everywhere." To put it bluntly, I can't help you. Be careful.

It doesn't matter if you can't help. Xifeng mailbox at least provides readers with a platform to express their feelings. Moreover, the speaker is unintentional and the listener is intentional. There may be a single lady to take the initiative to contact and put on a good show, probably because the mailbox deliberately posted this letter. However, there is another situation where people are sincere in courtship, but they are harassed by boring people, so that things are screwed up. Ms Yao's experience is worthy of sympathy. As a new person who went to school, Ms. Yao opposed arranged marriage, so she advertised for marriage. Of course, her qualifications are a little high, adding up to 10. As soon as the advertisement came out, a person named "qualified me" kindly reminded me that there are many bad people now, and Ms. Yao had better be careful not to be taken in by them. Sure enough, a man sent the letter directly to Yao's house. The obscene letter was read by Ms. Yao's old uncle, and she was so angry that she cursed "outrageous". When Ms. Yao's mother heard about it, she was also furious. She lost her beauty in the past, and since then, the restrictions on Ms. Yao have become stricter. Ms. Yao had no choice but to submit to humiliation. Before the marriage was completed, the farce came first, which was probably unexpected by Ms. Yao.

Temptation and risk coexist.

Love is beautiful, so be careful when you get married. Single men and women pour out loneliness through newspapers, hoping to find the right person in the vast sea of people. But people's hearts are unpredictable, and it's really hard to judge what kind of person the other person is just by a few marriage advertisements. 1932, Ms. Fang Zi wrote an article "The Secret of Marriage". According to the article, some men are seeking marriage, "but they are idle and want to have fun with their female compatriots." What's more, they seek money and benefits in the name of marriage. "Their personalities are simply despicable, needless to say." In this way, those simple ladies, out of curiosity, can easily fall into the trap and be deceived.

The words of "Fang Zi" were confirmed by another lady. A friend of the lady saw a man's advertisement in the newspaper, saying that she was a sea returnee. She is 28 years old and holds an important position in the government. She wants to find a woman as her life partner. At that time, his friend's father lost his mother's illness and had a hard life. He is also eager to find a husband to rely on. So I wrote a letter to express my sincerity and arranged a meeting. I wonder if I didn't see it. I was shocked by what I saw. The lady who accompanied her friend speculated that the man was at least 36 years old and had a smirk on his face. After a few words, I was exposed everywhere. Not only has that man never studied abroad, he has never even attended middle school, and he has the cheek to say "Oxford University in the United States". What is even more hateful is that the man has a wife and just wants to spend 500 yuan to find another concubine. The angry lady and her friends scolded the man, and since then, they have been suspicious and wary of the marriage advertisement.

Similarly, a woman's marriage is not necessarily true, and there are many places where she falsely reports her age and exaggerates her appearance. 1936 in a certain issue of Spring, there is a cartoon called Marriage Seeking. In the picture, an old lady with white hair and rickety figure is talking with a young man sitting on the sofa. A dialogue was added next to it: "Female:' Sir, I'm here to apply'. Man: "so ... why aren't you as beautiful as that photo?" Woman: "I took that photo 44 years ago!" " "Such a funny and ironic answer shows that when dating, statements and facts are often inconsistent, and carelessness is a waste of feelings and disappointment.

All kinds of marriage advertisements are really dazzling, and it is difficult to distinguish between true and false. 1946, Fan Dalin wrote an article "Talking about Marriage and Friends", which divided all kinds of marriage advertisements into three types: ordinary, kind and malicious. In terms of malice, it can be seen from the text that its purpose is not pure. For example, "I am 29 years old, handsome and rich. I want to be 20 to 27 years old." I am beautiful, affectionate and sociable. " In addition to accommodation, the monthly salary is XX yuan. "Teacher Fan's advice is that if both men and women do not take money as the purpose, marriage advertisements can still be advocated.

Mr. Fan's attitude is generally peaceful, while others strongly oppose advertising for marriage. The reason is that people who seek marriage or even try marriage are rarely sincere-men want to find a tool to vent their desires, while women are greedy for money. This kind of behavior is no different from "cohabitation" in the old society, and it is extremely immoral. Others have analyzed that marriage conditions always require graduation from college, with rich assets, much like the old marriage of buying and selling. Such a request, "It's not easy to get the combination of true love, is it?"

Although there are objections and disputes, the market for marriage advertisements is still good, which shows the urgent needs of the masses. About the attitude towards marriage, the discussion between two people in 1930 deserves attention. "Tangshanke" said that when it comes to mate selection criteria, don't care too much about each other's looks. A dark-skinned man like him really needs a beautiful wife. "It's hard to guarantee that she won't be tempted by the butterfly bee, and maybe she will ask me to be a witch and wear a green hat." As long as you have a kind personality, you can be healthy. What's more, "beauty is in the eyes of the lover, or uglier than yourself, but it is as uncertain as beauty in the eyes of the lover." He also quoted a metaphor, "There are hundreds of customers in department stores, and aunts are uncles."

In this regard, the "female secretary" wrote an article about choosing a spouse. She agrees with the viewpoint of "Tangshanke" and says that women can listen to their parents when looking for a partner, but don't listen blindly and completely. "I have to put my heart down and examine each other's temperament, knowledge, good conduct, sound body and ability to handle affairs with sharp eyes and insight. As for family wealth, it is naturally good and there is no need to force it. " Finally, the "female secretary" further reminded all female compatriots: "Don't flatter yourself, everything is in your eyes. When our beautiful period has passed, I am afraid that choosing a husband is somewhat unsatisfactory. " Unfortunately, this kind of voice was only a flash in the pan at that time, and it didn't get much response.