Theme: Women

Q: Hello, Brother Leng. There is a problem that has seriously affected my life and I can't solve it by myself. Brother leng's help is badly needed now, and I hope to win!

I am a female college student, single, and had a young love before college. During my college years, I focused on my studies. The most important problem now is the inability to resist the sexual assault of married male teachers.

We don't know each other. In an activity, he introduced me as his daughter in front of friends after he met me. I thought he was joking, so I didn't care. During this period, he accompanied me to talk, read and walk like a daughter, and was indifferent to me.

Slowly, I thought he really just regarded me as his daughter. Then I didn't expect him to invite me to play. My first time is gone. Afterwards, I confessed to him that I don't want to be a third party, and I hope we won't meet again, and I won't pursue this matter.

He assured me that we were just father and daughter, and it wouldn't happen again. This normal father-daughter relationship lasts for a period of time, during which he will help me correct my homework, and the knowledge he taught me will be of great help to my future development and success.

However, after that, he will go to my piano room to have sex forcibly, but I can't resist. During that time, I felt very painful and guilty. I have communicated with him many times and expressed my thoughts, but I still cannot change the status quo.

I began to avoid him, not meeting, not answering the phone, not returning messages. Recently, because of business exchange, the teacher got to know him and asked him for help. They reached an understanding and were willing to help me succeed. In reality, with their ability, it is indeed possible.

Now, he goes to the piano room every day to find me and force me to have sex with him. It's impossible for me not to practice, but I don't want to go on like this with him. I thought about calling the police, whether to tell the teacher or find a boyfriend.

Today, his wife called me when she knew about it, and I made my attitude clear. I told my parents about it online that night, and they were very sad. But they haven't told me what to do next. I want to know what I should do next. I really hope to get your help. (If you have emotional problems that can't be solved, please pay attention to the official account of "Cold Love" WeChat, and you will have the opportunity to ask me questions for free. )

Cold love reply:

Before answering this case, I want to show my attitude: I believe that in the comments, some people will say that this girl doesn't respect herself, including her questions in the chat record.

However, I think no matter what happens to that girl, she will always find us as a victim and tell us her story, which requires a lot of courage. We shouldn't blame the victim, even if she did something wrong, but the teacher who forced her to have sex is the one who deserves our condemnation.

Next, let's discuss what this girl should do. I think you need to understand three things:

First of all, we must preserve the complete evidence. The so-called evidence is not these chat records in your hand, but the next time you are alone with him, you can set your mobile phone to flight mode and record it. You can say to him, "You raped me somewhere in the past years. My attitude is no, I hope you won't do this kind of sexual assault on me again."

In the dialogue, you need to explain the time and place to get him to admit it. This is important evidence that he sexually assaulted you (please be careful not to let him drag his past sexual behavior to the point where he likes you, which is very bad for you).

Second, you need to find out what you really think in the whole process. In the case, you mentioned many times that he will help you succeed, which reflects from the side that you are a little greedy for the "bonus" given to you by the other party.

You know, there is no pie in vain. If the other party gives you help, you need to pay a material return or a due price. If you can't do it, you shouldn't get treatment and help beyond your ability.

This is a question of values. You need to know what kind of help you want, what price you can pay for it, and what bottom line you can't cross.

Third, this matter cannot be solved by finding a boyfriend. Now you haven't formed a clear understanding of your emotional view. In the chat record, when he says he loves you, your reaction is "why not divorce" and so on, which puts you in a very passive position. Because of these chat records, he can completely defend himself. He is having an affair with you, not sexually assaulting you. The degree of the two is completely different.

You haven't figured out what you're doing. Please don't say "please divorce first" to a rapist. This is a sign that you are trying to fall in love with him.