Parents are children's first teachers, and no one can replace them. Children can't get rid of their close relationship with their parents all their lives. College students are in the late adolescence, which is the critical period of psychological weaning. Like physical weaning, psychological weaning will also bring various psychological conflicts to college students. Communication anxiety is one of the important aspects.

College students are facing the arduous challenge of stepping into adult society and surviving and developing in it. Complex interpersonal relationships make many college students feel anxious to varying degrees. So, do parents' parenting styles affect college students' communication anxiety? If so, which parenting styles are beneficial or unfavorable for children to form healthy and positive communication psychology? A survey conducted by the Psychological Counseling Center of South China Normal University on 300 undergraduates in several universities in Guangzhou shows that parental rearing patterns are an important factor affecting college students' communication anxiety. The following three types of negative factors deserve attention.

agree with

Parents will show excessive love, accommodation and eccentricity to their children, which will lead to the formation of "egoism"-selfish and willful character. In this way, children will be too self-centered in the process of interpersonal communication, without considering the feelings of others, impatient to listen to others, unwilling to take responsibility, unwilling to cooperate with others, and unable to integrate into the collective. Over time, they will be left out, rejected and isolated by everyone, and gradually they will have communication anxiety and always worry about whether others will accept them. Nowadays, many children are only children, and parents have devoted all their love to their children. If you love your children in an improper way, it may also cause your children's communication anxiety.

Overprotection, interference

Parents can easily overprotect and interfere with their children because they expect too much from them. Parents began to think about their children's future when they were very young, fearing that their children would be influenced by bad thoughts and behaviors, restricting their activities excessively, and even making many rules on choosing friends. And many parents attach great importance to their children's future development. In order to make children take fewer detours and suffer fewer setbacks, they have arranged everything perfectly and considered every step carefully. This seems to be good for children, but it is not. This kind of parents' excessive protection and interference often makes it difficult for children to have a sense of trust and security in the first contact. This lack of trust and security will develop and continue with children's growth until it becomes a sense of insecurity to the people around them and the world, thus affecting children's smooth communication with others as adults, leading to children's more evasive and hesitant attitude in communication and lack of initiative. At the same time, children rely too much on their parents, lack necessary exercise and lack understanding of their own abilities. Children tend to feel inferior and deny themselves, forming the characteristics of weakness and lack of autonomy.

Refuse, deny

Children who are often rejected by their mothers may become timid, insecure, cautious when interacting with others, afraid of being accused, and even lead to inferiority, and tend to avoid socializing to avoid "making a fool of themselves." Because they pay too much attention to their words and deeds, deliberately hide themselves, and hope to be recognized by the outside world, these children appear more nervous, cramped and clumsy in social communication, leaving themselves in anxiety and fear. So mothers should give their children more support and affirmation. Only when children are appreciated by their parents will they appreciate themselves and others. A person who truly appreciates themselves and others can find a balance in communication and have less unnecessary anxiety.

suggestion

Don't go your own way with your children.

Parents' care and understanding of their children is the basis of children's trust and affection for others, which can help children better understand themselves and form positive and confident personality characteristics. At the same time, children also learn to show love and understanding to others in communication. Being kind to others will be easily accepted by others, and naturally there will not be too much communication anxiety. Therefore, parents should not go their own way and solve problems by authoritarian or even violent means, nor should they be indifferent and adopt a laissez-faire attitude. It is to communicate with children more, support them more and encourage them more.