At present, the most critical interruption of interpersonal relationship training is in college, which is an important turning point in the socialization of interpersonal relationship. It is often in college that people really begin to live alone without their parents. In college, everyone has to meet people from different places, customs and personalities. Whether you can handle these people well depends on your human-computer interaction ability. From the moment you step into the university, you will encounter all kinds of interpersonal relationships: between teachers and students, between classmates, between fellow villagers, between individuals and classes, between schools and so on. Faced with so many interpersonal relationships, some students are unhappy all day because of improper handling; Some students suffer from mental illness to varying degrees because of interpersonal tension and mental stress; However, some students are often troubled by depression because they don't know how to deal with complicated interpersonal relationships. It can be seen that how to deal with interpersonal relationships is of great significance to college life in recent years and achievements in future career. We can discuss the interpersonal relationship of college students from three theories: interpersonal relationship, social motivation and social cognition. (1) interpersonal relationship: in a narrow sense, interpersonal relationship refers to the psychological relationship formed by people in the process of communication. Among contemporary college students, many people tend to trust each other at the beginning of communication, with a high degree of trust. They believe that the other party will not deliberately take advantage of themselves, and they believe that they will eventually reach a general balance, so they can tolerate a temporary imbalance. So that I finally found myself paying too much and finding too much imbalance. At this time, I will choose to leave each other and give up this interpersonal relationship, and I will be tired of interpersonal relationships. There are also some students, because they are not honest enough to communicate with others, and finally communication fails. They only said at the end that we used to be friends, how did we get to this situation? However, she didn't think that she had any reason to make others not want to communicate. In fact, she is too protective and doesn't want anyone to see her true side. Over time, others will hate this hypocritical face. Proper disclosure of yourself is a way to trust others, and it is also a way to increase mutual distance, mutual understanding and trust. (2) Social cognition: In interpersonal communication, it is necessary to understand self-perception, that is, the individual's understanding and evaluation of himself. This includes making a first impression on others and establishing a good first impression. Interpersonal relationship is produced in people's communication. At the beginning of a relationship, who doesn't want to leave a good impression on each other? Similarly, who doesn't want to keep in touch with people who make a good impression as a basis for in-depth communication? In communication, we also attach great importance to self-esteem, so we should establish self-esteem in interpersonal communication. If we trample on others' self-esteem too much, we will lose a friendship and get others' indifference and snub in interpersonal communication. Therefore, we should know how to establish self-esteem and protect others' self-esteem in interpersonal relationships. (3) Social motivation: Motivation is the internal force that causes, maintains and promotes individual actions. The main motives are: physiological needs, security needs, belonging and love needs, respect needs and self-realization needs. Many motives of contemporary college students are to get better grades, make teachers pay special attention to themselves and win honor for the school. When these motives are obtained in a hidden form, they are often resented by students, and it is difficult for students to get friendly relations, perhaps on the surface, and when they face conflicts of interest, they are strangers to each other. This kind of communication often exists in universities and is criticized by people. College students have a strong sense of self-protection, so they will form a self-centered consciousness and will not listen to other people's suggestions. This makes each other lose the ability to communicate. Over time, we lost our language communication. The obvious psychological problem among college students is that they generally can't handle interpersonal relationships well. When these college students have conflicts and conflicts with classmates or friends in interpersonal communication, most of them choose to let nature take its course. When encountering setbacks, most people will take a silent approach, and only a few people will find someone to talk to. Therefore, the heart-to-heart communication between college students is decreasing day by day, and the relationship between classmates is gradually becoming cold. However, in the survey, many college students said that they are particularly eager to establish close interpersonal relationships with others. However, there are often many contacts that make them lose their confidence in communication and think that there can be no friendship in college, which weakens interpersonal relationships. First, enthusiastic communication: interpersonal relationships are interactive. Don't always passively wait for others to take the initiative to care about yourself, but actively communicate with classmates around you. Being open to yourself is contagious. You are open to others, and others will be open to you. When the other person walks out of the dead circle, you will not only have a deeper understanding of the other person, but more importantly, you will also have a new understanding and experience of yourself. Second, we should understand and respect: everyone has his own temperament and personality characteristics, different growth backgrounds and living habits, so if we can understand and respect each other in the process of interacting with classmates, our relationship will be relaxed and harmonious, and unnecessary friction will be reduced. Third, treat each other with sincerity: the most important thing in interpersonal communication is sincerity and goodwill, which is also the fundamental principle of being a man. It is difficult for a hypocritical and arrogant person to have friends. Fourth, tolerance and understanding: As the saying goes: "No one is perfect, and gold is not enough." The students around us are still in the growth stage, so there will be many problems to deal with, and students will have different views on many issues, which requires us to consider problems from each other's perspective and understand each other without hostility. Fifth, eliminate the sense of dependence: there is also an unhealthy mentality in interpersonal communication, that is, people with strong sense of dependence always want others to care about themselves like their parents, brothers and sisters, and they must make their own decisions in everything. This is a lack of independent consciousness. Excessive dependence will also develop into a desire for control. They force others to study with themselves, review their lessons together, inform them of their action plans, and even restrict others from interacting with other students. University is a good platform for self-construction and self-improvement. As long as you work hard and actively hone, you will certainly gain something.