At the time of the incident, the girl was under the chair and the female college student kicked.
No matter how the "plot" is reversed, an important fact is that female college students first kick chairs with their feet and then hit them with bottles in the conflict. Although there is no actual harm, this practice is malicious and problematic.
In fact, most of us have seen Xiong Haizi in public and heard many related farce. For example, the mother of the cinema took her children to see a movie that was not suitable for children of this age. The children were very noisy, which aroused the anger of other audiences. "Why did you take your child to see an inappropriate movie?" The answer is also very practical, because no one watches the children, so why do you have to watch this movie? The answer is also very practical, because the unit issued two tickets.
I don't mean to be sarcastic here, but I know very well that although there is no film grading system in China, and there is no special organization to show and enjoy movies for children, some things are not suitable for mothers and children to do together. A friend of mine in France complained that he didn't even have time to watch movies because he had to take care of the children. If he goes to the cinema, he will only take his children to see movies that suit them, but what he wants to see is always missed because of the inappropriate time.
But it was part of mom's sacrifice.
Some private fun is gone, but you can't avoid taking your children to travel and eat. At this time, if the child cries or shouts loudly, the eyes of the people around him will all come over, and the mother may eventually have an abnormal sense of resistance and shame.
According to an American report, 4 1% mothers are stared at by strangers because their children are crying, and one in 20 mothers will explain or conflict with strangers around them because their children are crying. Most mothers mentioned that they rarely get intimate words or smiles that occupy their mother's position.
In this incident, there was a vicious conflict between female college students, children, their families and restaurants:
* Female college students kick four-year-old chairs.
* Family members tried to beat female college students.
* Restaurant employees and their families were beaten.
? The fuse of female college students' behavior is that four-year-olds play hide-and-seek and make a hullabaloo about.
? The trigger for family members is that their children are threatened.
? Employees are involved because they can't convince them.
Everyone's behavior pattern is hands-on. After the network fermentation, netizens began to favor one side and attack both sides. In the end, it's not good for anyone. The children watched the stranger's malice towards themselves and the mother's hysteria in protecting herself from beginning to end.
Can this thing be avoided?
2065438+On March 28th, 2007, Yang Dong Xv, a real estate developer, took a flight from Shanghai to Sydney. As soon as she sat down, the stewardess sent an apology letter and chocolates, which were written in Chinese and English.
Dear grandparents, uncles and aunts:
(used when meeting at night) Good evening.
I'm a baby who just turned six and a half months old. I'm here to greet you!
Today, I am honored to fly to Sydney with you. During the flight, I may cry, which will affect everyone's rest. I am deeply uneasy and sorry about this!
My mother will try her best to comfort me, please forgive me! Thank you!
Dear little baby.
2065438+March 28th, 2007
When talking about this matter, Yang Dong Xv used the title "No need to apologize-letter of apology". This letter itself is really unnecessary, because the crying of a six-and-a-half-month-old baby cannot be completely predicted and grasped by adults. Normal adults should have such common sense and empathy. This kind of practice, similar to a kind reminder, has certainly won the appreciation and understanding of most people, but we can't ask everyone to do so.
As far away as Italy, because he didn't want to see Xiong Haizi interfere with customers' meals, a restaurant owner came up with such a creative idea: when the children obeyed, they could get a 5% refund.
The owner Antonio Ferrari's reason is: "I am responsible for what happened here."
Although this practice has caused some doubts, it effectively allows parents to interfere with their children's excessive behavior.
In fact, the above two situations are not completely necessary, but they are all to avoid conflicts in public spaces because children are noisy.
According to a survey in The Guardian, it is estimated that 30% of parents don't know how to control their children's inexhaustible energy. In this incident, the direct fuse was that the four-year-old child played hide-and-seek and made noise, and the family's performance did not completely stop the child and angered others.
Four-year-old children's self-control ability is still relatively poor, and they are still learning how to control their emotions and communicate with strangers.
These are all things to learn.
The distance between children and others, behavior etiquette are all need to learn.
We can't ignore the educational responsibility that could have avoided conflict on the grounds of protecting children.
Children's performance in public actually reflects parents' parenting attitude. A behavior forms a habit, and a habit forms a character. Parents don't manage and teach their children's performance, in fact, they don't pay enough attention to the etiquette rules of public space.
There is also a kind of parents who try to keep their children from making noise and crying in public space, but there is no result, so there is no following. This kind of parents lack correct educational methods. And blindly accommodating will encourage children's bad habits.
A friend is engaged in parent-child travel education. She once told me that the so-called theme parent-child tour is not to change children's learning style or to educate children how to get along with others during holiday travel. For example, the purpose of a trip with the theme of green nature and environmental protection is not to make children become environmentalists or change their lifestyle, but to send a message to parents: how to make children interested in the topic? How to teach children to observe? How to guide him to study and keep his habits?
All education is aimed at parents. And then passed on by parents to their children.
For parents, if there is no consciousness of learning and growing up in education, how can they inherit and teach their children?
Indian philosopher Krishnamurti once said, "Today, people can only become lawyers or doctors after strict training, but strangely, they can be parents without any education, thinking that they can be competent for this most important job without education."
Our education is too little about emotional management and interpersonal relationships. A little dissatisfied, you may be grumpy at any time. If parents can't manage their emotions properly, it will inevitably lead to the lack of this ability.
The Center for Social and Emotional Foundations of Early Education at Vanderbilt University advises parents to train their children to express their feelings accurately. They asked their parents to "give each emotion a name", such as "I am very sad today because my father is going on a business trip."
The negative energy of emotions should not only be contained and suppressed, but also be identified and dealt with. Discuss your emotions with your child and let the child recognize: "Did you see the toilet sewer blocked yesterday, and mom was very angry? Do you remember the expression on your mother's angry face? " Do you want to learn from your mother? "
But also talk to your child about the solution to bad emotions: "When I am angry, take a deep breath, then count to three, and then think about how to solve this problem better."
For a four-year-old child, although he is still young, he should effectively convey an attitude of verbal communication and problem solving in sudden conflicts. Parents need to actively guide them to express their thoughts and demands in words. When they and their children are also threatened or encounter emergencies, they should actively respond and coordinate to alleviate conflicts. If there is no result, a third party may need to intervene or temporarily take it away from the public.
For this female college student who can't stand the yelling of four-year-old children, her reaction shows her lack of education and negative points in emotional management. No matter how bad she is at this time, she can't hurt others in this situation.
Through this incident, the reaction of many netizens is more superficial, but it highlights the lack of education and people's gaffes. Parenting education and education in public places can no longer be ignored.
Education cultivates us to become mature people, be able to plan the future and make correct life decisions. It gives us insight into life and teaches us to learn from experience. It gives us self-confidence and shapes our ability to think, analyze and judge. It promotes the principles of equality and socialism. It creates a support system for individuals to improve their lives. Is the pillar of society. It can be said that a good education makes us more human.