Dongzhimen is a warm restaurant, and we sit opposite each other.
I have always been clear and unambiguous about my feelings. If I separate, I will separate. I will never contact you, I will hide it in the dust. Breaking up is the most taboo.
But at dinner, he just stared at me and asked me a few simple questions about work. His eyes are full of sadness, so I don't know how to speak, and I can't output it when I'm ready.
After dinner, he offered to drive me, but I didn't want to. He insisted, I said it would take a while, and he nodded.
This car is clean and flawless, which is commensurate with his elite temperament, but it has a taste of old Xu. I sat in the co-pilot's seat, but he was driving slowly with the steering wheel in his hand. I can almost hear his strong heartbeat, with tension and melancholy and complexity. We were silent all the way, only the ancient songs played in a loop.
It's already dark, and the night market has become lively. When he was approaching his destination, he suddenly parked his car in a quiet place on the side of the road, suddenly grabbed my hand and choked up. My heart is tight. I tried to pull it out, but he pressed hard.
"Don't move, ok, you let me talk, you know? After breaking up, I wrote you many poems and sent them to your mailbox. I am often in a daze like a lost soul, and I dare not have any leisure and effort. The leader appreciates me very much, but what's the use? You are not with me anymore. I often wonder why you are so cruel and don't reply to my email. How did you do it? "
Suddenly the phone rang and I ignored it. I thought it was a harassing phone call, but it rang the second time and the third time. I opened my bag and took it out.
Hey, this is Mr. Wang's phone. I panicked and tried to pull my hand out, but it sucked like a magnet. I glanced at Wang Feng and answered the phone.
"Honey, why don't you answer the phone? I tell you a good news. My land acquisition project was successful and the company gave me a bonus. A lot of money! " Mr. Wang said excitedly over there.
"I didn't hear it just now, ok, my husband is great!" I tried to say it calmly.
"Hey hey, that's not the queen's credit! Come back early at night and celebrate by the way ... you know! "
"Uh-huh, ok, you go back first!"
"It's your husband!" The expression of madness is an indescribable complexity.
"hmm"
"Is that him? Last time I traveled to Lijiang, Yunnan, I saw two people at the next table who looked like you and him. You have no idea how fast my heart is beating and how nervous I am. Are you still together? "
"Breakfast. You haven't seen my husband. "
"Is it divided?" After getting a positive answer, he suddenly relaxed and loosened the delicate watch on his left wrist with his hand.
"I often think of our past days. The CDs in the car are all old songs of Xu Wei's generation. I cried while listening, thinking about our past days. "
"Yes, I left Beijing when I was in graduate school and left soon. You are still worried about that! "
"I thought he was better than me and could bring you a better life. I don't understand. You broke up with me that day. You are so determined. I don't understand what you did wrong to make you forget the old love. We've been together for three years, and I'll take all my bags to see you. But that day, when we both appeared in front of you at the same time, you left without looking back. Am I really that bad? Makes you so annoying. If I hadn't seen you leave like an escape, I would never have let go. " Feng was very excited when he mentioned the past. I can see that the pain of that day has almost become a fast knot in my heart.
"Not long after I left, I jumped ship to a German multinational company. In recent years, I have grown from a newcomer to an executive. " The maple went on to say, almost like revenge.
"You are wrong, you are wrong. We broke up that day, not because of him, but because of ourselves. After you get off work, we can only meet on weekends. You don't know what I'm thinking. You've changed, you know? When you were a few years older than me, I could also work and study in the library. At that time, there were several suitors with superior family circumstances. I didn't tell you at all, lest you miss it too much. At that time, although your family was poor, you were generous and vowed to enter Peking University. The friends you make, every day with you is positive and sunny. "
"But after you failed in the postgraduate entrance examination, you became anxious, although later you also found a job to solve the Beijing hukou, or a large state-owned enterprise. But your old energy seems to have disappeared. What topics did we talk about at the weekend? You told me that the boys in your unit often go to the junior college near the unit to pick up girls, which is beautiful and simple. Because the unit is in the outer suburbs, there is no entertainment, and everyone's mind is not right at all. You also told me that you can't sleep all day because Lao Li and his girlfriend in the dormitory next door are arguing so much that the bed will turn over. God, what are you instilling in me every time we meet! "
"Do you know what I'm thinking? Know that I also want to take the postgraduate entrance examination, know what club activities I am busy with at school, and know what I want most? It's not material, it's not your big bag, it's spirit, it's the silence of the soul. You will never understand these! " I hurried sentence by sentence, and my mouth was like firecrackers.
"And at that time, we were all international students. How easy it is to work hard in Beijing. How can you foresee our future with this attitude? A few days ago, you told my company to introduce you to a Beijing girl. You smiled and said that you had a girlfriend and I wanted to break up. I still have two years to graduate from college, and you have a younger brother studying below. Where is our future? "
"In fact, the last chance is you give up. That boy was chasing me, but I didn't agree. I'm just telling you that his parents are high-ranking officials at home and they are also excellent. If you want to see him, you can talk about it. I want to inspire your ambition. Finally, I left not because I didn't want to see you, but because I couldn't bear to see me. You two came towards me together, and I realized how familiar you are and how much I don't give up on you. I burst into tears and ran away quickly. You idiot! Idiot! "
"At that time, you have become inferior, you know?"
"Stop it, stop it!" He listened silently for a while and tried to interrupt me several times. Grab my hand and tighten it. I can hardly breathe.
"Hug, hug, ok? Can you give me a hug? " He held me in his arms in an almost pleading tone. I can't resist it. He sniffed my flowing long hair and smelled the fragrance.
"For so many years, I have never forgotten you. How can I forget the expression of concentration when you read in the library? When I cleaned up, you left politely. After cleaning up, you put the stool back in place and the table was spotless. Your pure and refined appearance completely melted my heart. "
"When I chased you, I found that no one was happier than me. I must marry you in my life. At that time, I had planned to solve the hukou in our unit after graduation, because it is difficult for your liberal arts department to find a counterpart job. "
"But I can't keep you! ! ! "Maple almost cried, her hands tightened and her body trembled.
My eyes are wet and my body has become soft.
Suddenly I remembered Mr. Wang's phone. I was so excited that I tried my best to pull it out of his arms.
"Well, aren't you fine now?" I tried to change this ambiguous atmosphere.
"Well, I was introduced, and I was not in the mood to fall in love again, so I married a local girl in Beijing and we gave birth to a daughter. Because of Xiong 'an New Deal, a large amount of compensation was paid for the demolition of old houses. Economically, it can be described as quite rich. " He wiped his tears and woke up.
"Your life is very good. We don't want it when it's over. "
"Recently, the company's internal adjustment, cut some people, take the initiative to leave. Looking at the familiar faces in the past, I felt extremely uncomfortable and thought of breaking up. I never understood how you left suddenly. I have been feeling uncomfortable these days, so I have to come and see you. "
I looked at his red eyes, wiped my tears with paper, and took out a delicate little Buddha statue tied with a red rope from my wallet. "Do you remember? You said your mother gave it to me. I always keep it in my wallet. Buddhists pay attention to fate. "
"Whose youth is not confused? The feeling of the university is the most beautiful and good time, the most holy and pure, unscrupulous and willful. At that time, there were no material fetters, and they were all poor students. This kind of emotion may be hard to have again in this life. I am equally unforgettable. "
He looked at me seriously, and his expression became more and more soothing.
"But the fact is that we are moving in two different directions of life. They are parallel to the distance and have no intersection. I later went to graduate school and worked as a financial officer in a state-owned enterprise. I got married. As a southerner, he has a delicate mind and can often soothe my inner anxiety. Life is happy and warm. " I looked him in the eye and said slowly.
"We are all fine, which is good, isn't it? Continue to follow the previous trajectory. It is getting late. I should go. Don't look for me again, I hope we can be simply happy. " I said quietly. I want to unfasten my seat belt and get off.
Hearing this, he suddenly came forward to hug me and asked me to accompany him at night. After a struggle, I struggled to open my right hand and slapped it loudly. "Do what? What are you doing? How can you be so shameless? It was a wonderful memory. Do I have to splash ink on it to turn black? Can you afford a wife and children at home? We are all adults. Are you guys breaking up?
The louder I spoke, the more I sobbed at last.
He quickly took out the paper and gave it to me, but at the same time he seemed to calm down. "She's fine. I didn't think about getting divorced. I was nice to her, too. I gave her everything at home. Don't cry, I'm in a hurry, mainly because our feelings are too unforgettable, not before, and never again! "
"It's all over. I've said what I have to say. Better see you later. Your performance today is so disappointing. I deleted your mobile phone number. If I contact you again, I will blacklist it. " Then I slammed the door and got off.
He shouted behind, I was indifferent, and the cold wind roared. I ignored the phone ringing in my bag and hurried to the subway station to get on the bus.
I deleted his cell phone number as soon as I got on the bus. Then I saw a strange text message, "Are you at home? As long as you are good, you won't be disturbed again. "
I silently deleted this message.
I have always believed that any encounter in this life is the fate of previous lives, let alone former lovers. He came to me again and again mainly because his heart was hard to open. He must think I broke up because he didn't get along well. He thinks that the present scenery can make me regret, even a little, and he even wants to relive that tenderness.
I don't deny the beauty of the past. Once, two young people in their twenties looked at the meteor at night and looked forward to working in the top luxury office building in the center of Beijing. The scenery was infinite. Now that it has been realized, don't leave regrets and worries. The past will always pass, such as those fleeting years, how can we return?
If you are greedy for pleasure because of selfishness, it will not only hurt your family and yourself, but also the beauty once hidden in your heart will be desecrated and defiled.
The best love is not to realize selfish desires, but to forget the rivers and lakes. You have a wife and I have a partner. When I am old, I can still think about sitting in a rocking chair and having a cup of tea. When I was in my twenties, a girl with bright and clear eyes appeared, carrying my shoulder and holding my hand, walking in the sun and chatting about my ideals and ambitions. ...
When I got home, the soft light in the bedroom was on, and my husband was already lying in a clean bed like a child. I took off my coat and jumped on it. I couldn't help crying anymore.
Mr Touch my head, "baby, it's okay, where are you wronged? Come on, tell my husband that I have bought you the luxury coat you like. Surprise! " Hey, hey, give me a kiss, bang ... "
……