Education is to help people find themselves and realize themselves.

It is a tree that shakes another tree, a cloud pushes another cloud, and a soul awakens another soul. The essence of education is not ordinary culture, and it is not utilitarian at all. It is an enlightenment, an awakening, an opening and a lighting. It is an education to enrich the inner world, improve his spiritual height and cultivate students' personality. Knowledge education is only a small part of it.

For example, personality training, in fact, we have particularly precious resources. China is an ancient civilization, a country of poetry, calligraphy and virtue. Traditional education in China is an education with humanistic education as its core content and the goal of cultivating gentleman's personality. Everyone's conventional achievement is to be a gentleman, modest, knowledgeable, gentle and upright. But what we have cultivated today is still far from this goal.

Although the rules and regulations of many schools shout slogans such as "educating people" loudly, the teaching process still depends on exams and scores, focusing on subject teaching, without putting personality training at the core. Nowadays, education has deviated from the essence of education, and only cultivated some "examination machines", "technical geeks" and "economic animals", which, in Qian Liqun's words, are "exquisite egoists" and abandoned our precious cultural traditions.

Pay attention to short board or develop long board?

For a long time, our education policy has always emphasized all-round development, while education plans and policies around the world have focused on personality development. Because all-round development is difficult to achieve, it will be reduced to average development and mediocre development in actual operation. In this mode, what hurts most is personality.

This is one of the reasons why we haven't trained truly outstanding talents for so many years. The vast majority of outstanding talents in the world are "one-sided development", whether they are scientific and technological talents or humanistic talents, because only by fully developing in their own professional direction can they reach a certain height. Development is average, development is average, you can become a good student, but you can't walk far, and you won't have a voice after entering the society.

There is a saying engraved on the ancient Greek temple called "Know yourself", which is the reason. Since ancient times, educational wisdom is people's self-discovery and self-realization.

The role of education is to help you do your best, not to make the same standard parts according to unified standards and norms.

Why emphasize personality development?

People are born different, and personality differences are the basic premise of pedagogy.

Sociology divides people into academic, economic, artistic, social, power and religious types. Academic type can think deeply, sit still and get in; The economy is sensitive to money and the financial quotient is very high; Powerful people like to manage people and be class cadres. These intellectual tendencies have been shown since childhood, with scores as the only criterion, but in fact only some of them have been evaluated, and other intelligences have been suppressed.

An important difference between Chinese and western education is that teachers in China always pay attention to your shortcomings, while teachers in the United States always say to discover and strengthen your thickest nerves and be your best self. Western education pays attention not to short board but to long board, which is to develop students' personality and specialty. Outstanding talents in ancient and modern times, with outstanding personality, have a strong interest in a certain aspect and are often "extreme". Many of our high school students don't know what they like and want to learn when they take the college entrance examination. Teachers and parents advise them to learn whatever they want. After graduating from college, I still don't know what I should do. This is a failure.

Competition at the starting line is a false proposition.

Why is a good mother or a good parent better than a good teacher? Everyone should think deeply about this issue, because parents are the first and permanent teachers of children, and children grow up watching their parents' shadows. The educational function of parents can't be replaced by schools anyway.

In rural areas with the least educational resources, the best students are often teachers' children. The teacher may not have a high academic background and no educational methods, but at least he doesn't play mahjong every day, correct homework at night and prepare lessons under the lamp. This is the education of children. From an academic point of view, the power of this example is called the transmission of cultural capital, and the cultural atmosphere of the family will be passed on to the next generation.

Unfortunate parents, in the first category, send their children to boarding schools and give them to teachers, or go to key schools, feel safe and give up family education.

The second category is more common, and many families become "accomplices" in school exam-oriented education. Parents help teachers supervise and oppress students and attend various cram schools on weekends. Some people call it "five plus two, white plus black". It is conceivable that even if a child goes to a key school, his health, emotion, personality and individuality are not taken seriously.

The third category is overexertion. There are many "tiger moms" and "wolf dads" in China. The child is only three years old. Parents are like ants on hot bricks, trying their best not to let their children lose at the starting line. Many parents even give up their working life and stay with them all the time. The unbearable pressure of parents on their children is one of the reasons why some children eventually go to a dead end.

It's hard to be a parent today. Every parent has anxiety. Will children lose at the starting line? Competition on the starting line has become the most inflammatory commercial slogan at present. The starting line has been moving forward and has been moved to kindergartens and primary schools. In fact, the competition at the starting line is a false proposition. Children will never lose at the starting line, but will only die of fatigue and illness at the starting line. Competition at the starting line is very important to Liu Xiang, who needs to race against time. Life is a long marathon. As we all know, people who lead in the first few laps of the marathon can hardly reach the finish line. If they overdraw their physical strength too early, this will be the result.

Parents must have a strong sense of normality.

If parents don't have a normal heart, the family will not be peaceful, and it will be a battlefield. From the age of three to twenty, parents' anxiety is nothing more than letting their children go to key universities and pursue higher social status. What exactly is an ideal education? Pay attention to grades and pursue good grades blindly, or cultivate a healthy and happy child? In my opinion, a healthy and lively child is more important than any famous school, and physical and mental health is more important than grades.

In fact, many people with wisdom in life have low expectations for their children.

Lu Xun resolutely opposed children as short writers. Lao She's expectation is to be proficient in pen and ink, to be self-reliant, and not to bully others or be bullied by others. This is based on the understanding of life and a thorough outlook on life. In fact, most celebrities become well-educated civilians and various professionals.

What is a successful family education?

First: be tolerant and kind to children.

Protecting his normal life, protecting his physical and mental health and treating children as children are the most important education.

Second: it's waiting.

Writer Bi Shumin said that trees should not grow too fast. One-year-old trees are used as firewood, three-year-old trees as tables and chairs, and century-old trees as pillars. The more expensive the wood, the longer the growth period, such as rosewood and Huang Huali. People are all the same, so don't worry, be patient, and a normal heart is also a kind of patience.

Third: liberation.

Tao Xingzhi proposed to liberate children's mind, eyes, ears, mouth, time and space.

Yu Pingbo has a godson's idea, which is to raise fish with big water. Is to give children a relaxed and free environment. The bigger the pool, the more water there will be before they grow into big fish. You can cultivate talents without occupying all the time and space of children. In addition, it is not advisable to give directions to children too early, otherwise Yang Zhenning is a skilled accountant and Qi Baishi is just an excellent carpenter.

Fourth: discovery.

In family education, the most important role of parents is to help children discover themselves and their personality. Buffett said that the only thing parents should do for their children is to find their passion and encourage them to go all out to pursue it. Finding enthusiasm is a difficult and mysterious process, which requires a lot of free space. If parents exert pressure, it will only be counterproductive. Parents just need to tell their children not to consider status and rewards when making choices. Just like Jobs said, do what you really love.

How to measure the success of family education?

The first indicator, when children are friends of books since childhood and like reading, education is half the battle. Because good books will lay the foundation for children's spiritual background, those basic values will affect children's life.

The second is that he can form a clear personality and specialties around high school, including hobbies. Children can form themselves, find themselves and learn from themselves, even if they succeed. We see too many children crushed by exams. If we give him three days to arrange for himself, he doesn't know what to do but do his homework, and his spirit is blank. This is a failure of education.