At that time 150 police officers and detectives surrounded his hiding place on the top floor. They pierced the roof and smoked the "police killer" with tear gas. At the same time, many machine guns were mounted on the surrounding buildings.
About an hour later, in this high-grade residential area in new york, there was the ringing of pistols and the clicking of machine guns. Chloe crouched behind a chair full of debris and kept shooting at the police. Many bold and curious citizens flocked to the streets to watch the gun battle. You know, in new york, this kind of fierce gunfight has only been seen in movies, which is unprecedented in real life.
When Chloe was caught, police chief Moroni announced that the gunman was one of the most dangerous criminals in new york's history. "He always shoots people," said the director, "without blinking."
See how this double-gun demon refutes and proves his innocence. When the police opened fire on the apartment where he was hiding, he wrote a letter to "the person concerned". Chloe wrote: "Under my clothes is a tired heart, but this heart is kind-a kind heart that won't hurt anyone."
When Chloe wrote this letter, blood gushed from his wound and left a red blood mark on the writing paper.
What is the truth of the matter? Before the raid, Chloe and his girlfriend were on the suburban highway in Long Island. Unexpectedly, a policeman came to the car and knocked on the window and said, "Please show me your driver's license."
Chloe didn't say anything, then pulled out a pistol and fired several shots at the police. The poor policeman immediately fell into a pool of blood. Chloe jumped out and shot the police officer who was not dead. Is this what Chloe called "a tired heart under my clothes, but this heart is kind-a kind heart that won't hurt anyone"?
Chloe was sentenced to the electric chair. When he arrived at the death penalty room in Xinxin Prison, did he say, "This is what I get for killing people"? No. Instead, he said, "Is this my reward for defending myself?"
There is no doubt that from beginning to end, Chloe, the "two-gun killer", never regretted it, because he thought he was not wrong at all.
Is this an unusual attitude among gangsters? If that's what you think, then listen to this passage: "I spent the best time of my life providing relaxing entertainment for others and helping them get happy, and people only gave me insults in return." It is their kindness that forces me to become a person with life in danger. "
This is what Al Capone said. Yes, America's former public enemy number one-the most insidious gang in Chicago. Capone never blames himself. He really thinks he is the benefactor of the public-an ungrateful but misunderstood benefactor of the public.
The Dutchman Schultz is also a living example. The Dutch are notorious "new york rats". Before Newark was knocked down by gunmen, he thought he would benefit the public. In a newspaper interview, he said that he was a public donor. He believes that he is really a benefactor.
In this regard, Liu, the director of Xinxin Prison, has the most say. In one of his letters, he wrote: "Few criminals in prison think they are bad people. They are human beings like you and me, and they will defend themselves. They will tell us why we have to pry open the safe and pull the trigger at any time. Most of them, whether justified or not, always have to justify their actions that undermine society. Therefore, they always come to the conclusion that it is not their fault, and they should not go to hell to confess to the law. "
If Al Capone, Chloe, Schultz, the "two-gun killers", and those fugitives in prison never blame themselves for their actions, then why force you to contact those people?
The late John Warner Merkel once admitted, "Thirty years ago, I realized that it was foolish to blame others. I don't blame God for the uneven distribution of wisdom, because it is very difficult to overcome your own shortcomings. "
Werner Meikel knew this for a long time, but I had to bump into this cold place for a third of a century before I began to realize that 99 times out of 100, no one would blame himself for anything, no matter how wrong he was.
The world-famous psychologist B·F· Skinler has proved through animal experiments that in learning, animals rewarded for good behavior learn much faster than those punished for bad behavior, and can better remember what they have learned. Further research shows that human beings have the same situation. Criticism can't change the facts, but it often causes disgust.
Rice, another great psychologist, said, "We are eager for praise from others, and we are also extremely afraid of accusations from others."
In most cases, the result of criticism can only be resentment, which often hurts the morale of employees and friends, but the situation will not improve at all.
Johnston is a safety inspector in an engineering company. One of his duties is to supervise whether employees working on construction sites wear safety helmets. According to him, once he met someone who didn't wear a helmet for the first time, he told them with an official attitude that they must abide by the company's regulations. Although the employees accepted his correction on the surface, they were full of unhappiness and often took off their helmets after he left.
Later, Johnston decided to change his way. When he found someone who didn't wear a helmet, he asked them if the helmet was uncomfortable or inappropriate. Then remind them in a concerned tone that the purpose of wearing a hat is not to completely abide by the system, but more importantly, to be responsible for them and protect their lives from threats and injuries, and suggest that they must wear safety helmets at work for their families and themselves. The effect of this is much better than before. More and more people wear safety helmets according to the regulations, and it will not cause disgust or emotional dissatisfaction.
There are countless such incidents. There was a well-known argument between President theodore roosevelt and President Taft-their disagreement led to a split within the party and sent Woodrow Wilson to the White House.
1908, Roosevelt moved out of the White House and Taft of the party was elected president. Then Roosevelt went lion hunting in Africa. When he returned to America, he was furious when he saw Taft's conservative style. In addition to openly attacking Taft, Roosevelt is ready to run for president again and plans to form another "Progressive Party". This almost led to the collapse of the old party. Sure enough, in the next election, Taft and the Republican Party won only two districts-Vermont and Utah. This is the biggest failure that * * * and the party have ever suffered.
Roosevelt condemned Taft, but did Taft admit that he was wrong? He once said with tears in his eyes, "I don't know what's wrong with everything I do."
Let's take a look at the "Chahutun Oilfield" fraud case. In the early 1920s, the press condemned this incident for many years, which shocked the whole country. In the memory of that generation, nothing like this has ever happened in American politics.
The truth of the scandal is this: Yabo Foer, the interior minister of Harding's government, was authorized to take charge of the government's oil field leasing in Mount Elk and Teapot Town-those oil fields were reserved for the future expansion and use of the navy.
Did Secretary Fowle let others bid openly? No. He just handed the generous contract to his friend Edward Duhenny. What did Duhenny do? He gave Minister Foer what he called a "loan" of $654.38 million. Minister Foer also ordered the US Navy to enter the area and expelled other oil merchants who were digging for oil near Elk.
Faced with unreasonable orders and horrible bullets and bayonets, these oil businessmen left the oil field and rushed into the court, exposing the fraud case of $654.38 million in Chadudun oil field. As a result, it caused an uproar, ruined President Harding's ruling, aroused national public indignation, almost brought down the * * * and the party, and Foer was jailed for it.
Foer was cursed to death-no politician has been so miserable. Did he break his word? Not at all! Years later, Hoover hinted in a public speech that President Harding died because of a friend who betrayed him, which made him anxious and worried.
When Mrs. Foer heard this, she jumped up from her chair, tears streaming down her face, her hands clenched and she screamed, "What, Harding was betrayed by Foer? Absolutely not. My husband has never done such a thing. Even a room full of gold can't make my husband have evil thoughts. Instead, I was betrayed and ended up in such a mess. "
People who do wrong here will only blame others, not themselves. Everyone is like this. Therefore, when you want to criticize others tomorrow, don't forget Al Capone, "Two-Gun Killer" Chloe and Yabofer. There is no doubt that criticism is like domestic pigeons, they will always come back.
In addition, we should also understand that when we accuse and correct someone's mistakes, he may defend himself and bite us back; Or, like the elegant Taft, he would say, "I don't know what's wrong with everything I do."
1April, 865 15, Lincoln lay dying in the bedroom of a cheap hotel directly opposite the Ford Theatre. Someone shot Lincoln in the theater. Lincoln's lanky body reclined on the bed that was too short for him. Above the bed hung a cheap painting by Rosa Bonan, "Horse Market", and a gas lamp gave off a bleak yellow glow.
When Lincoln breathed his last breath, Secretary of War Stanton said, "Here lies the most perfect head of state in the history of the world."
What is the secret of Lincoln's success in dealing with people? Does Lincoln like to criticize others? Lincoln, like the public, made many mistakes when he was young, but he learned the secret of getting along with others successfully from serious events. He lived in Pigeon Valley, Indiana when he was young. At that time, he not only often criticized others, but also wrote letters and poems to satirize others. Leaving those letters and poems on the road was bound to be discovered by that person.
When Lincoln was practicing in Springfield, Illinois, he even threw books at the newspaper and publicly attacked his opponents. The consequences of one of the letters made him unforgettable and unforgettable.
/kloc-in the autumn of 0/842, when Lincoln was in Springfield, an unsigned letter was published in the newspaper to ridicule an Irishman named james hill. The content of the letter was very offensive and ridiculous, and the language was very sharp, and everyone in the town laughed.
Shields is a sensitive and proud man, and he is burning with anger. When he found out who wrote the letter, he jumped on his horse, went to Lincoln and offered to fight him. The other party gave him the freedom to choose weapons, because his arms were very long, so he chose the cavalry's long sword and learned fencing from a graduate of West Point Military Academy.
On the day of the duel, Lincoln and shields met on a beach in Mississippi, ready to fight to the death. Fortunately, someone stopped them at the last minute and ended the duel.
This is the scariest personal event in Lincoln's life. This incident completely changed Lincoln's attitude and way of doing things. He never wrote insulting letters again, and never made fun of anyone again. Since then, he has stopped criticizing and accusing anyone for anything.
During the Civil War, Lincoln appointed new generals to command the Northern Army again and again. Every general-markland, Pope, burnside, Hook, and Midi-was defeated one after another, which made Lincoln almost desperate. Half of the people in the country were lambasting the poor generals, but Lincoln kept silent and had no complaints. He likes to quote such a famous saying: "If you don't judge others, others won't judge you."
When Mrs Lincoln and others criticized southerners, Lincoln replied, "Don't criticize them. If I were in the same situation, I would be like them. "
On July 1863, the Battle of Gettysburg started. On the evening of July 7, when General Li began to retreat to the south, it suddenly rained cats and dogs. When he fled to Potomac in the rain, he was blocked by the rising river, and behind him was the victorious northern army. There is no basis for advancing and retreating, and General Li is in a desperate situation.
Lincoln saw it and knew it was a great opportunity for heaven; As long as we defeat General Lee's army, the war will be over soon. Therefore, Lincoln hopefully ordered Grant not to hold a military meeting and immediately attacked General Lee. Lincoln not only ordered by telegraph, but also sent a special envoy to see Grant, asking him to take immediate action.
What did General Grant do after receiving the order? He didn't carry out the orders immediately, but held military meetings again and again. He hesitated and put it off. He made various excuses and refused to attack General Lee. Finally, the river receded, and General Li fled the Potomac River with his soldiers.
Lincoln flew into a rage. "What does this mean?" Lincoln shouted to his son Robert, "God! What the hell is going on here? They are in our hands, as long as we reach out, they are ours; But no matter what I say or do, I can't make our army move a step. In that case, almost any general can defeat General Li. If I were there, I could destroy him myself. "
In pain and disappointment, Lincoln sat down and wrote a letter to Grant. Of course, Lincoln was very conservative at this time and restrained in his speech. Therefore, his letter at 1863 was the most severe and expressed Lincoln's extreme dissatisfaction.
My dear general:
I don't believe you can understand the serious misfortune caused by Li's escape. He is easily controlled by us. If we had rushed in and added some other recent victories, we could have ended the war. Therefore, the war may continue indefinitely. If you couldn't attack Li safely last Monday, how could you attack him after crossing the river, leaving only a few soldiers-less than two-thirds of the troops you had at that time? I can't expect you to change the status quo, and it is unreasonable to expect you to change. Your opportunity has been lost, so I feel infinitely sad.
Do you want to know General Grant's reaction after reading the letter?
Grant has never seen this letter because Lincoln never sent it. This letter was found in the archives after Lincoln's death.
According to a guess-this is just a guess-after writing this letter, Lincoln looked out of the window and said to himself, "Wait a minute, maybe I shouldn't be in such a hurry." Sitting in this quiet White House, I can easily order Grant to attack. But if I were in Gettysburg, if I saw blood everywhere last week, like Grant; If I had heard the cry of the wounded soldier, maybe I wouldn't be in such a hurry to attack. If I cringed like Grant, I might do the same thing. Anyway, things are like this now. Even if I send this letter, it will not change the situation at all, but will only have a bad influence-Grant will in turn defend himself and accuse me. This will arouse resentment, undermine his effectiveness as a commander and may force him to resign. "
Therefore, as mentioned above, Lincoln put this letter aside because he learned from bitter experience that sharp criticism and reprimand are almost always useless.
President theodore roosevelt said that when he was president, he often leaned back, looked up at the huge portrait of Lincoln hanging on the wall of his White House office and asked himself, "What would Lincoln do if he were in my position? How will he solve this problem? "
We are no exception. Every day when we want to reprimand or blame others, the first thing we have to think about is: if Lincoln encounters this problem, how will he solve it?
When Carnegie was young, he always wanted to impress others. At that time, richard harding davis had just made his mark in the American literary world and attracted considerable attention. At that time, he had just introduced writers to a magazine, so he wrote to Davis and asked him to talk about his work style. In retrospect, it was a ridiculous letter.
Before that, Carnegie received a letter from a person, which said, "This letter is oral, and I haven't read it yet." This left a deep impression on him-it shows that this person is very busy and important. So, he added such a note after replying to Davis, hoping to leave a deep impression on Davis.
Davis didn't bother to write to Carnegie at all, but returned the letter he sent him and scribbled a line after it: "Your behavior is so rude."
Indeed, Carnegie is self-defeating, and there is nothing wrong with being accused. However, as a person, he felt angry from embarrassment. Even when he learned the news of Davis' death after 10 years, his first thought was still-he was really ashamed to admit-his injury.
If you want to leave an unforgettable bitterness in the future, criticize it severely.
Mark Twain often loses his temper, and the anger of writing letters can burn the stationery. For example, once, he wrote a letter to the person who angered him: "I should give you a death burial certificate." As long as you ask, I will definitely help you get this permission. "
On another occasion, he wrote to an editor about a proofreader trying to "improve my spelling and punctuation". He wrote in an imperative tone: "From now on, this situation must be done according to my manuscript, and the proofreader should be taught to leave his suggestions in his decadent mind."
After writing these hurtful letters, Mark Twain felt very happy and his anger vanished. Of course, these letters didn't cause any bad reaction, because his wife had quietly left them, didn't pay for the mail, and didn't send them at all.
Do you want to persuade someone to get rid of some bad habits? Great, I agree with you very much. But why not start with yourself? From a purely selfish point of view, this is more beneficial than deliberately improving others-yes, the risk is much smaller.
Browning said: "When a person struggles from his own heart, he is a valuable person." You may have to get rid of all your shortcomings before Christmas. At that time, you can have a good rest during the holidays, and then use New Year's Day to persuade and criticize others.
Let's remember that the object we get along with is not an absolutely rational animal, but an animal full of emotional changes, prejudice, conceit and vanity.
Sharp criticism made the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the best writers who enriched English literature, give up novel creation forever.
Benjamin Franklin was not tactful when he was young, but later became tactful, good at dealing with people and smart, and was appointed as the American ambassador to France. "I didn't say anything bad about anyone, I just said the good things about everyone I know." This is the secret of his success.
To understand and forgive others, you need personality and self-control.
"A great man," Carlisle said, "expresses his greatness by treating little people."
Bob Hoover, a famous test pilot, not only undertakes various flight test missions, but also often performs flight performances for air exhibitions. Once, he flew back to Los Angeles after performing at the San Diego Air Show. As described in Flight Magazine, at an altitude of 300 feet in the air, two engines suddenly stopped. Because of his skillful skills, he controlled the plane to land, but the plane was seriously damaged. Fortunately, no one was hurt.
After the forced landing, Hoover's first act was to check the fuel of the plane. As expected, the propeller plane he flew in World War II actually contained jet fuel instead of gasoline.
After returning to the airport, he asked to meet the mechanic who repaired the plane for him. The young mechanic was deeply saddened by his mistake. Hoover burst into tears when he walked up to him. Because of his negligence, a very expensive plane was destroyed and almost killed three excellent pilots.
It is conceivable that Hoover will be furious, and it is expected that the pilot with strong sense of honor and demanding accuracy will inevitably blame the negligence of the mechanic. But Hoover didn't scold the mechanic or even say a word of criticism. Instead, I put my arm around the mechanic's shoulder and said to him, "To show that I believe you won't make mistakes again, I want you to help me maintain the F-5 1 plane tomorrow."
In the family, parents, as elders, often criticize children. However, before criticizing children, please read a typical article "Careless Father" by an American journalism professor. "This article was first published in the editorial column of Family Chronicle magazine.
"Unfortunate Father" is a short essay-written because of a temporary inner feeling-but it touched the heartstrings of many readers, so that it became everyone's favorite and was reprinted again and again. Since the first publication of this article, Livingston Launder, the author of "Unfortunate Father", said: "In the United States, many magazines and newspapers have reprinted this article, and the situation abroad is similar. I have personally agreed to let thousands of people read this article in schools, churches and platforms. It is also broadcast on countless opportunities and programs. Strangely, it was published in university journals as well as in middle school journals. Sometimes, a small article is deeply rooted in people's hearts, and this small article has indeed produced the same effect. "
An inconsiderate father
Listen, my child, I have something to say to you. At this time, you are lying in bed, fast asleep, with your little palm resting under your cheek, your forehead slightly wet, and your curly blonde hair sticking to it. A few minutes ago, when I was reading a newspaper in my study, a sense of self-blame overwhelmed me and made me breathless. With a guilty heart, I gently pushed open the door of your bedroom and quietly came to your bed.
Child, I often lose my temper with you: when you get dressed and get ready for school, I blame you because you only wipe your face with a towel; You didn't clean your shoes, and I lost my temper with you again; I yelled at you again when I saw you throw something on the ground.
At breakfast, I found your mistake again-throwing things on the table, wolfing down your food, putting your elbows on the table and spreading too much butter on the bread. When you went out to play and I went to catch the waterwheel, you turned and waved to me and said loudly, "Bye, Dad!" " I frown and say to you, stand up straight! " "
At night, the situation is still the same. When I was walking on the road, I saw you kneeling on the ground playing with marbles. There were several holes in your stockings. I took you home in front of your friends, humiliated you and yelled at you: socks should be bought with money-you will know when you earn money to buy them yourself! You may not think, my child, that a father should say such a thing!
Do you remember? Just before you went to bed, you came to the door of my study carefully and saw me reading a newspaper, hesitating whether to go in or not. I saw you in the newspaper, and I was tired of your interruption: "What are you doing?"
You didn't speak, you just ran quickly, hugged my neck and kissed me. The strength of your little arm shows a kind of love, which is planted in your heart by God, and no indifference on my part can wither it. You kissed me and left, and soon you stepped upstairs.
My child, just as you turned around, the newspaper fell from my hand to the floor, and a strong fear that made me sad came to my mind. Habits really hurt me, the habit of finding fault and scolding-this is my way of treating you like a little boy. It's not that I don't love you, but that I expect too much from young people. I measure you by my age.
My child, there is so much truth, goodness and beauty in your nature, and your little heart is like the morning light that embraces and illuminates the mountains-your spontaneous impulse to come in and kiss me good night shows all this. Nothing is more important to me tonight than you. I put everything down and went straight to your bed, kneeling in the dark, full of guilt.
This is just a kind of atonement with little effect; I know that if I tell you this when you are awake, you won't understand. But from tomorrow on, I want to be a real father. I want to be your good friend-you suffer and I suffer, and you laugh and I laugh. I will abandon all impatient words and dull expressions, and I will solemnly declare: "He is just a boy-a little boy!" " "
I think I used to treat you like an adult. But my child, I see you now, curled up and tired in the crib, completely like a baby. Just yesterday, you were lying in your mother's arms with your head on her shoulder. I asked too much before.
Let's not blame others, we should try to understand them. We should try to understand why they do this and try to put ourselves in their shoes. This is more beneficial and meaningful than criticism; And this also breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.
As Dr. Zhan Sen said, "God himself does not want to judge people until the end of the day." Remember: complete understanding is complete forgiveness.