With the rapid development of economic globalization, the competition in social environment is becoming increasingly fierce. In promoting the construction of a harmonious society, good interpersonal skills have become one of the important parameters to measure the quality of talents in modern society. In recent years, college students' psychological problems caused by interpersonal communication problems have become more and more serious. Huang Yang, a graduate student at Fudan University, was suspected of being poisoned by her roommate's drinking fountain, which once again triggered our thinking about the higher education system.

First, the importance and status of college students' interpersonal skills

The interaction between people and environment is constantly changing in social communication, so is the interpersonal communication ability of college students. Communication refers to the process of transmitting some information (or meaning) to the object or object in order to obtain the corresponding reaction effect of the object, that is, information exchange. Compared with before, college students' interpersonal communication is more complex and extensive, and various psychological needs are also expanded. The lack of interpersonal skills may cause great mental and psychological pressure on college students, trigger a series of psychological problems and affect their physical and mental health.

From 1994 thallium poisoning case in Zhu Ling, Tsinghua University, to Ma Jiajue case in Yunnan University in 2004, colchicine poisoning case in Yangzhou University, thallium salt poisoning case in China University of Mining and Technology in 2007, to the recent poisoning case of Fudan graduate students, and one death due to trivial quarrels in Nanjing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics, all these cases reflect the social problems caused by the lack of interpersonal skills of college students. On June 5438+ 10 this year, journalism students of Wuhan Yangtze river institute of business and technology made a questionnaire survey in Huazhong normal university and other 12 universities, aiming at the dormitory relationship of college students. The results show that only 43% of college students are satisfied with the dormitory relationship. The survey found that the main reasons that easily lead to dormitory conflicts are differences in personality, living habits and communication methods. Zheng Xiaobian, deputy director of China Adolescent Mental Health Professional Committee and a professor at the School of Psychology of Huazhong Normal University, said that the lack of interpersonal skills of some college students is an important reason for the frequent casualties in colleges and universities in recent years.

Interpersonal communication is the basic requirement of social service, the communication need of information society, the important art of career success, and the essential quality of social service, which is conducive to enrichment, packaging, perfection, service and self-realization. UNESCO put forward in "2 1 Century International Education Commission" that the ultimate goal of interpersonal communication is to learn how to get along with others. The above-mentioned campus deaths and injuries are not accidental, improper handling of interpersonal relationships, and lack of effective understanding and communication are all causes of the tragedy. Poverty is not the direct cause of Ma Jiajue's tragedy, but the deep-seated reason is that poor communication with others leads to spiritual loneliness, self-isolation, and finally ignores the existence of individual life.

Second, the factors affecting college students' interpersonal relationships

According to a survey conducted by China Mental Health Association, 40% freshmen and 50% graduates have different degrees of psychological problems, and interpersonal communication, study pressure, employment pressure and emotional difficulties are the four main reasons.

The so-called communication obstacle is the poor communication of information, because the information must be related to the scope that the receiver knows, so that the information can be understood by the receiver. The factors that cause communication barriers include empathy, control, self-disclosure, trust and other factors, such as physical, emotional, intellectual, social, feeling and attitude, goals and personality factors. The survey shows that there are obvious problems such as social avoidance, social anxiety, cynicism and self-centeredness in college students' interpersonal communication. On the issue of social avoidance and social anxiety, college students, especially those from rural areas, are more prominent than those from cities because of their different living environments and different amounts of information. The psychological pressure of communication increases, and the destructive effect of jealousy also increases the cost of interpersonal communication. Therefore, college students' interpersonal communication obstacles and poor information are all appearances, and the fundamental reason is deep-seated psychological problems.

The interactive analysis theory divides the influencing factors of college students' interpersonal relationship into four levels. From a social perspective, different cultural environments, knowledge literacy and values will affect people's determination of goals and behavior choices in practice. At the campus level, the deviation of college students' interpersonal cognition and the lack of interpersonal skills are the internal sources of interpersonal disharmony. In the Fudan poisoning case, the school mainly focused on the management of students' compliance with discipline and system, but did not pay attention to the problems existing in interpersonal relationships between students. At the family level, improper family education and abnormal parents' stress style can also lead to bad interpersonal relationships among children. At the individual level, individual cognition, emotion, personality and other subjective factors affect the individual's understanding of others.

Third, the theoretical method and practical significance of establishing effective interpersonal communication.

As a personality theory and therapy, translation analysis gives a new explanation to interpersonal communication from the perspective of personality and psychotherapy. Bao Wen believes that the PAC analysis theory of personality structure includes three parts: parents' consciousness, adults' consciousness and children's consciousness, which respectively represent three psychological states: parents' consciousness (characterized by authority and superiority), adults' consciousness (characterized by objective and rational behavior) and children's consciousness (impulsive like a baby). People should show a certain psychological state and have certain personality characteristics in communication, and respond according to each other's expectations to establish friendly interpersonal relationships; However, when communication exceeds the expectations of the other party, it is easy to lead to the interruption of friendly relations. Therefore, adult psychology is the main way to solve the problem. Therefore, its practical significance has the following three points:

(1) Perfecting personality and dealing with interpersonal problems with adult psychology are important conditions for the success of interpersonal communication. The perfection of personality traits is the balance of three psychological states. Strengthen the dominant position of adult consciousness characteristics, adopt different psychological States under the adjustment of adult psychological States, and deal with practical problems in a timely and reasonable manner.

(2) Self-confidence and respect are the basic prerequisites for good interpersonal communication. Respecting others on the basis of self-confidence and interacting with others in a positive way to form a "win-win" model is conducive to the formation of good and healthy interpersonal relationships.

(C) Complementary communication is the goal of interpersonal relationships. Constantly adjusting one's psychological state, having the characteristics of self-good adult consciousness, helping to adopt other personality characteristics, meeting the needs of others, complementing each other and promoting effective communication are important ways to form good interpersonal relationships and the ultimate goal.

In a word, TA theory can help us to know our self-state and psychological state well, so as to consciously control our psychological state when communicating with others and achieve the effect of effective and flexible communication. This is of great guiding significance to interpersonal communication practice. The most fundamental way for college students to deal with interpersonal relationships is to be good at using interpersonal skills and methods. In today's society with extensive interpersonal relationships, it is of great significance to cultivate students' correct communication concepts and skills, overcome the difficulties and setbacks encountered in interpersonal communication, and lay a solid foundation for college students to integrate into society as soon as possible and work and live better.

Hope to adopt. Bee back, listening back in college entrance examination