Facing the new era, new interpersonal environment and social conditions, college students' interpersonal communication has become more complicated. The interpersonal communication of college students can be divided into virtual interpersonal communication and real interpersonal communication in form. These two different forms have their own characteristics and show different characteristics.
(1) Virtual interpersonal communication: indirectness, rapidity, equality (equality of subject identity and status), virtuality, anonymity, anomie, pluralism, randomness, autonomy, etc. Internet interpersonal communication is a communication platform based on computer and communication technology. It is not as direct and face-to-face as real interpersonal communication, but transforms living people into symbols and marks their identities with symbols; It is different from real communication, fully respects people's subjective initiative, allows the communication subjects to blur their true identity and realistic status, and launches their own communication actions with equal advantages. Whether it is true or not, everything depends on the subject's autonomy and choice. However, due to its virtuality, anonymity, randomness and autonomy, the anomie of network communication behavior also occurs from time to time, such as malicious posting, network deception, network crime and so on.
(2) Realistic interpersonal communication: the richness of communication content, the diversity of forms, the direct reality of communication effect, the standardization of communication ethics, the complexity of communication process and the utilitarianism of communication psychology. Realistic interpersonal communication is a traditional form of communication, which is rich in content, including not only material communication, but also spiritual communication. This kind of communication is in various forms, which can be between students in the class, between students of different origins or even between schools, not only between the same sex, but also between the opposite sex. In short, there are many forms of communication. The actual effect of this kind of communication is obvious, because it is directly face to face, and the communication subject is fully involved, not only in words, but also in body language, so whether the communication is harmonious can be completely mastered by the communication subject with his own sensibility and rationality. However, due to the profound changes in local society and people's concepts and interests, college students' communicative psychology and behavior are becoming more and more utilitarian.
Second, the status quo of college students' interpersonal communication
Generally speaking, the present situation of interpersonal communication among contemporary college students mainly includes the following aspects.
(1) Expand the spread. It extends from classmates, friends, teachers and others to a wider and farther group.
(2) Diversified communication methods. In addition to the traditional face-to-face communication and correspondence, telephone, text messages and the Internet have become another important way of communication among college students.
(3) Rationalization of communication purpose. With the development and change of society, college students' communicative purpose tends to be rational, and choosing friends is not purely out of emotional considerations, but more and more considering their own social interests, thus showing a trend of paying equal attention to emotional communication and utilitarian communication.
(4) Virtualization of communication forms. The network has changed the social culture and brought about profound changes in the way people communicate with each other. The virtual society formed by the Internet is attracting more and more contemporary college students. E-mail, QQ and BBS have become important ways for college students to communicate with each other, and the virtualization of college students' interpersonal relationship has become an objective and common phenomenon in the network age.
(5) Problems in college students' interpersonal communication. The problems existing in college students' interpersonal communication can be summarized into four aspects: first, psychological problems, such as inferiority, fear, isolation, suspicion and indifference; Secondly, there are cognitive problems, such as social cognitive deviation, wrong value orientation and wrong communication view. Third, the problem of interpersonal skills: such as insufficient interpersonal skills and insufficient adaptability to the environment; Fourth, the differences in interpersonal communication, such as regional differences, gender differences, group differences and so on.
Third, the causes of college students' interpersonal barriers analysis
In the process of interpersonal communication, not every college student can handle this relationship well. Some students are always influenced by various factors around them in the process of interacting with people, which makes them confused and anxious, and all kinds of troubles appear in the process of interacting with people. There are three main reasons.
(1) Social reasons. Today, with the rapid development of social economy, the competitive pressure between people is getting bigger and bigger, which further causes the expansion of college students' utilitarian thoughts when interacting with people. When they communicate with people, their material purpose is higher and higher than their spiritual interests, and they tend to use material interests to measure gains and losses. Especially in recent years, the global economic crisis has increased the employment pressure of college students and promoted the growth of students' utilitarian heart in disguise. In addition, the wide spread of information technology in modern society and the promotion of network platforms make some people easily trust the communication in cyberspace, but are too lazy to communicate with friends in reality, thus relying more on the virtual world and entering a vicious circle.
(2) Family reasons. Nowadays, most college students are only children, and their families are pampered. They live a comfortable and generous life and have never been wronged. Over time, they developed a willful and selfish character. When dealing with people, we are usually self-centered, and do things without considering others' feelings, but ask others to act according to their own wishes. Speak loudly when you are happy, regardless of other people's feelings; When you are unhappy, you lose your temper regardless of the occasion, regardless of the interests of others. Coupled with the utilitarian tendency of modern education, parents' requirements for their children are only academic performance, which induces students to form the idea that only good study is the most important thing, and thus psychologically tends to associate only with well-studied students, putting themselves in a narrow communication space, resulting in difficulties in interpersonal communication.
(3) its own reasons. The deviation of self-cognition leads to the restriction of communication. University is a special period in which college students' psychological thoughts and other aspects mature. During this period, they can't make a comprehensive and rational understanding of the people and things around them, and it is difficult to make a correct evaluation of interpersonal communication, which leads to a psychological cognitive deviation in interpersonal communication. Overestimate others and let yourself fall into a state of inferiority psychologically. Or overestimate yourself, appear arrogant and superior. All these will affect the normal interpersonal relationship of college students. The lack of interpersonal skills and communication ideas among college students is also an important reason.
Fourthly, the countermeasures to solve the interpersonal problems of college students.
1. Create a good social and cultural environment and improve the cognitive level of college students' interpersonal relationships.
The establishment of good interpersonal relationship depends on students' cognitive level of interpersonal relationship and also on social and cultural environment. Social culture includes politics, economy, customs and habits and the development level of productive forces. Social and cultural values have an important influence on college students' interpersonal concepts, and differences in cultural values also lead to differences in people's communication methods. Therefore, the whole society should strive to create a positive social and cultural environment, guide college students to improve their understanding of interpersonal relationships, and pay attention to establishing good interpersonal relationships.
2. Pay attention to the role of teachers and guide college students to establish good interpersonal relationships.
As a kind of interpersonal relationship between college students, teacher-student relationship should strive to improve self-cultivation, understand and study students, actively communicate with students, and understand the differences between students, so as to realize the special needs of college students and adopt corresponding methods to establish a good teacher-student relationship.
3. Give play to the role of school associations and improve the enthusiasm of college students to participate in social practice activities.
In addition to class organization, participating in various club activities in the school is also an important way for students to communicate with each other. Give full play to the role of school associations, encourage college students to participate in social practice activities, interact with others, and increase the opportunities for college students to interact, so that they can better understand themselves and others in communication with others; Otherwise, if you don't participate in group activities, it will be difficult to form an impression on the people around you and to establish your own public image in front of others. Therefore, while learning professional courses well, college students should take part in more social practice activities organized by mass organizations.
Verb (abbreviation of verb) conclusion
To sum up, helping students to establish harmonious interpersonal relationships is a realistic problem worthy of attention in colleges and universities, and it is also a problem that contemporary college students should attach great importance to. Harmonious interpersonal relationship is the guarantee for college students to grow up, and it is also an important content and basic condition for the healthy development of college students' body and mind. As the successors of the future society, the quality of college students is related to the quality of the national talent team and the effectiveness of modernization. Therefore, college students must have a high degree of self-awareness, cooperation awareness and the ability to deal with interpersonal relationships.