Recently, in a restaurant in Dalian, a "college students fly kicking girls" happened, which aroused public discussion. The surveillance video revealed the whole process: a four-year-old girl made a hullabaloo about in the restaurant, which angered the young female college students who were dining at the next table. Despite the dissuasion of friends, the female college students stepped forward and kicked the chair next to the girl. The girl's mother immediately wrestled with the female college students, and the scene was out of control.
This news caused a heated discussion on the internet some time ago, and public opinion was heated up for a while. Some people think that Xiong Haizi, a four-year-old girl, shouldn't do it, lambasting female college students for being rude and violent, and thinking that she deserves to be beaten; Some people think that female college students should not be polite to Xiong Haizi. The reason why Xiong Haizi is so popular is that China's parents lack discipline for their children. It is the parents who should really reflect. Society has no obligation to educate your children for you. Various opinions are flooding the network.
Arousing Emotion: Education and Cultivation
This incident actually reflects a kind of social disharmony. Originally, everyone was very happy to come to the restaurant with family and friends. But the cause of the disharmony story is this four-year-old girl. Of course, for a four-year-old girl, she doesn't know where to speak loudly, and she shouldn't speak loudly. So her recklessness is nothing. We should allow children to be ignorant. However, people are human because they are the sum of social relations. No matter how old we are, we can't escape the reality of society. The existence of society has its own unique laws. For example, you can't speak loudly in public. This is a social custom and a social morality. For children, they don't know this, but for children, they must know this. These words and deeds come from parents. Or discipline. A child's performance in public actually reflects his family upbringing.
Regrettably, many of our children are in a state of "someone to raise and no one to teach". As the ancients said, it is the father's fault that the son does not teach. When our children leave home, walk in the street, urinate everywhere, spit everywhere, throw garbage, make noise and so on, all of which are related to his tutor. We can't discourage children just because they are young. This is a habit to be formed at an early age and a social morality to be cultivated.
As the ancients said, teaching women is new and teaching children is new.
Adults' indulgence and doting on children today is the bane that children will be taught by society tomorrow. Children's upbringing is the embodiment of parents' upbringing.
And a person's self-cultivation starts from the youth stage. Female college students flirt with four-year-old girls, which shows that there is something wrong with their personal quality. How terrible it is for an adult in his twenties to argue with a four-year-old Xiong Haizi. She can choose to communicate with the parents of the children or persuade the little girl. And her temperament and accomplishment directly determine her rude behavior. And this kind of personal accomplishment, we also have to say that there is a problem with the upbringing from childhood, which leads to the inability to keep up with personal accomplishment. We can imagine, when your child is kicked by an adult because of noise, what will you do with this adult? No matter how good your cultivation is, I believe you will not hesitate to slap this adult.
Yes, Xiong Haizi will eventually be taught a lesson by this society. But Xiong Haizi is still a child. What we did to Xiong Haizi was not a lesson, but an education. But society's treatment of adults is not only a lesson, but also a contempt for their cultivation.
If the root of poor cultivation is poor education, what is the root of poor education?
It's family education.
At present, all education ignores the fundamental of family education. I think that education is a school matter. I don't know that the background of life is given to children by the family.
From 65438 to 0966, professors from Johns Hopkins University in the United States collected the data of 600,000 children in 4,000 schools and wrote the Report on Equality of Educational Opportunities (Coleman Report): The main factor affecting children's academic performance is family. Children's family education has been manipulating their school life behind the scenes, and family education is the eternal background and background of school education.
What are the problems in our family education at this stage?
Ignoring the core task of family education-teaching children to be human.
Use the wrong concept of "as long as you do your studies well, you don't have to worry about others" to delay your children.
⊙ The education method is simple and rude, with too much negative energy.
Parents are too strong and lack understanding and respect for their children.
Do not pay attention to the influence of family environment and parents themselves on children.
Faced with these problems, what should we do? In fact, the most important thing in education is the education of parents. We always spend a lot of money and time making up lessons for our children on weekends. This is putting the cart before the horse. Instead of making up lessons for children, it is better to make up lessons for parents and educate them well so that children can get better family education. Our parents should pay attention to the following points in their future education:
First, cultivate humanistic feelings-give children kindness and love
"People who touch people's hearts, don't worry about feelings first." "True feelings need to be guided by socialist core values and nourished by the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation."
The beauty of life is the beauty of human feelings. Good feelings will make people live more "tasteful", happier and more meaningful.
Guide children to "do not do it because of goodness, not because of evil."
Affectionate, righteous, educated, grateful, helpful and sharing;
Starting from loving people around you, nature, small animals and literature, we should cultivate children's rich humanistic feelings, cultivate a loving and compassionate heart, make them happy when they grow up, and be responsible for their families and society.
"The buttons of life should be buttoned from the beginning";
In a sense, humanistic qualities such as love and kindness are the first button in a child's life, and home is precisely the school to cultivate children's love and kindness.
Second, use responsibility to urge children to learn to survive and learn to take responsibility.
You should know: a person has no sense of responsibility, and this person cannot be trusted; The next generation of a family has no sense of responsibility, and this family is hopeless; A country's citizens have no sense of responsibility, and this country cannot be strong;
Note: Responsibility is the core literacy necessary for children's survival, development and happiness in life.
Francis Bacon once said: Responsibility is the most precious seed in the world. If you sow it in your child's heart early, you will gain a lifetime of happiness.
Our parents should help their children establish the following sense of responsibility:
Do your own thing, help others, and strive for public welfare.
It is my duty to study hard.
The rise and fall of the family-my responsibility
The class is good or bad-my responsibility
The rise and fall of the motherland-my responsibility
Third, give priority to positive education such as affirmation to prevent education from becoming a "killer weapon"
1, use affirmation to help children build self-confidence.
2, to guide instead of strict supervision, cultivate independent consciousness.
3. Replace laissez-faire or indifference with affection and care, and cultivate self-discipline.
4. Several "killer weapons" to prevent family education.
5. Try to cultivate children's good habits
Fourth, understand children and give them proper respect and tolerance.
1, learn more and communicate more, and be your child's bosom friend.
2. Respect children's interests, hobbies and privacy. ...
3. In the face of failures and setbacks, teach children to learn psychological self-help.
Fifth, create a warm and quiet family life and study environment.
Physical environment-quiet
There is a relatively independent space and desk to ensure children's study and rest, ensure children's nutrition, especially breakfast, pay attention to rest and exercise, encourage children to adhere to a certain amount of physical activity every day, and the more tired they are, the more they should exercise.
2.？ Psychological environment-peace of mind
The family has deep feelings. Harmonious and warm. Mutual respect and trust between parents and children is the best psychological environment for children to learn and grow up healthily.
Don't talk too much about family difficulties and contradictions in front of children.
Avoiding opening one's mouth and closing one's mouth is all about learning and complaining about children. Excessive nagging is the most disgusting thing for children, especially adolescent children.
The most important relationship in a family is the relationship between husband and wife.
A mother's best love for her children is to appreciate and admire her father.
A father's best love for his children is to love his mother.